“Sometimes I wish we were.” Diane smiled wanly. She looked tired. Who didn’t? Her eyes grew distant. “No, on second thought, maybe not. Because if we went back, I’d still be trying to seduce you, and you’d still be breaking my heart.”

“As I recall,” Blair said fondly, “you did seduce me.”

“I dragged you into bed when you were stoned. Plus, you’d been coming on to me all night, so that doesn’t count.” Diane laughed at the memory. “It was good sex though, wasn’t it?”

“We were fifteen. Of course it was.” Blair sighed. “I do love you, you know.”

“I know.” Diane stroked Blair’s arm. “So what’s wrong?”

Blair shook her head. She couldn’t tell Diane about the situation with Valerie, not until she’d had time to talk to Cam some more. Not until she’d had a chance to decide what she’d do if Cam sided with Lucinda and her father. Her mind rebelled at the possibility, because she wasn’t sure what she would do if she had to fight everyone she cared about. She wasn’t sure she could stand being at odds with Cam over something like this.

“God, you look sad, honey.” Diane slid her hand to the back of Blair’s neck and massaged her gently. “Is something wrong with Cam? Is she in trouble over what happened at the compound?”

“No,” Blair said quickly. “I’m just tired. And the last thing I wanted was to be dragged back here.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Because I’m probably the only person in the world besides Cam who can tell when you’re upset and trying not to show it.”

“I will,” Blair said, realizing there was no point in denying what Diane already knew. “As soon as I can.”

Diane sat up and slipped off her jacket, then laid it on the bed beside her. “Do you think Cam can find out where Valerie is?”

Blair caught her breath, glad that Diane wasn’t looking at her. She took an extra second to be sure her voice was steady. “I don’t know. Why?”

Diane stood, unbuttoned her slacks, and slipped them off. Wearing just her blouse and panties, she opened her suitcase and lifted out a pair of soft, faded jeans. She pulled them on and zipped them, then lifted off the shell and placed it with her suit. “Because I thought I’d hear from her by now, and I haven’t. And I don’t know how to go about finding her.”

“Maybe it would be better if you didn’t find her,” Blair said carefully.

“You mean you think her disappearing act was just her way of dumping me?” Diane donned a pale blue cotton shirt and buttoned it, turning partially away from the bed so that Blair wouldn’t see her hands shaking. She knew what Blair was trying to say, and she had considered that obvious explanation every day since Valerie had vanished one morning before dawn. They’d had an affair and now it was over and she was a fool not to simply accept it. “You think I should just let her go?”

“I don’t know, Diane,” Blair said gently. “But it’s complicated with Valerie. There’s no way of knowing if she left because she wanted to or because she had to. But either way, she left without explaining, so I can’t imagine she wants you to go looking for her.”

“She did call me.” Diane referred to the brief call the morning that Valerie had disappeared. The morning of the raid on the mountain stronghold of a group of paramilitary fanatics. “That must mean something. If she was…moving on, why call?”

Blair agreed, but was afraid to say so. She wasn’t sure it was safe for Diane to have anything to do with Valerie now. Not when it seemed like half the country was looking for her. “You know she’s an agent, and the whole national security system is in an uproar now. It’s going to take time for everything to settle down. Weeks. Months maybe.”

“I don’t want to wait months to talk to her. To see her again.” Diane turned her back and walked to the window. She wrapped her arms around herself. “I miss her. God, I miss her.”

“Oh, hey,” Blair said, hating the pain in Diane’s voice. She scrambled off the bed and crossed to Diane, hugging her from behind.

“Maybe Cam could just get a message to her from me. Just so she knows—” Diane struggled with tears. “Just so she knows I haven’t given up.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Blair whispered.

Diane leaned back in Blair’s arms and rested her cheek against Blair’s. “Thanks.”

Blair held her tightly, wondering what she’d just promised. And how she could keep her word to one woman she loved without betraying another.

The elevator jerked to a stop and Paula opened her eyes. For a few dizzying seconds, she wasn’t sure where she was. Two women and a man, all in business suits, stood talking to her left, ignoring her as she leaned against the wall in the corner. She blinked at the number panel. 10th floor. A glossy picture of a restaurant on the far wall advertised the Veranda at the Wyndham Washington, DC. She was at the hotel where the team stayed when on temporary assignment in the Capitol. She remembered Hara dropping her off out front before he took the Suburban around to a special reserved parking slot. Then what?

Jesus, was it possible she’d fallen asleep standing up?

“Excuse me.” Flushing with embarrassment, she pushed away from the wall and jumped between the elevator doors as they started to close. Some Secret Service agent. She’d completely lost track of her surroundings. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t on duty. It was her job to be observant.

She slid the plastic card key from her pocket as she strode quickly down the hallway, hoping to leave her discomfiture behind. She let herself into room 1020. It was dark and still inside, and for an instant, she thought she was in the wrong place.

“Renée?” Unconsciously, she swept her blazer back and rested her hand on the grip of the Sig Sauer holstered on her right hip. “Babe?”

“I’m here,” Renée Savard replied.

Paula felt on the wall for the switch, then hesitated. “Can I turn on the light?”

“Just a second.”

Paula heard the squeak of springs, then the bedside lamp came on. Renée, still in the clothes she had traveled in, lay on top of the covers on the queen sized bed. Renée’s holstered service weapon rested on the bedside table next to a prescription medicine bottle. Paula’s stomach tightened, but she forced a smile as she crossed the room and leaned down to kiss her lover. She brushed her hand over Renée’s cheek.

“Taking a nap?”

“Trying to.”

Paula settled gingerly on the side of the bed and tapped the immobilizer encircling Renée’s leg. “Is your knee bothering you?”

“It’s fine,” Renée said sharply, then just as quickly caught Paula’s hand as Paula started to get up. “I’m sorry. Yeah, it’s a little bit sore.” She gestured toward the medicine bottle on the table. “I’m trying not to take those things, but my whole body aches from not being able to move around much. This fucking immobilizer—” She trailed off, looking disgusted. “Christ, you’ve been on your feet working since dawn, and I’m complaining.”

Renée closed her eyes and turned her head away.

“Since I’m here now and can wait on you,” Paula said lightly as she released the Velcro straps on the stiff wraparound brace, “why don’t we take this off. The doctor didn’t say you couldn’t bend your knee, just that you couldn’t weight-bear. No wonder it hurts, being squeezed in this thing for hours. You want me to lock up your weapon, too?”

“You should. I was going to wait until you got here to set the combination on the safe.”

“I’ll take care of it in a minute,” Paula said, enormously relieved. She should know better than to think Renée would even consider…she couldn’t even complete the thought. Unexpectedly, she felt tears prick at her eyes and she blinked hard, her jaws clamped tight.

“What?” Renée studied her through narrowed eyes.

“Nothing,” Paula said hoarsely. “Just tired.”

Renée glanced from Paula to the bedside table, and she breathed in sharply. “You didn’t think? Oh, sweetie, never.”

“I know,” Paula said, cradling Renée’s hand in both of hers. “I know. Just for a minute there, when I walked in, it all felt so strange. Then I saw—” she shook her head. “Everything is changing so fast, sometimes I just feel confused.”

“Where’s Blair?”

“At the commander’s,” Paula said, unconcerned by the apparent switch in topic. Nothing happened in her life, or for the last few months, in Renée’s, until what really mattered was squared away. And that was Blair Powell’s security. “She should be in for the night. Greg is there now, and Hara will take the overnight watch. I’ll pick her up in the morning, unless she calls to tell me she’s going out.”

“Good. Secure our weapons and change into something comfortable. Then, come lie down with me.”

“Should I order us something to eat?”

Renée carefully drew her legs up and pulled the covers aside. She opened her jeans and started to push them down over her hips. “In a little while.”

“Okay.” Paula picked up Renée’s weapon and unholstered her own. She crossed to the closet and, after setting the combination on the in-room safe, stored them away. Then she closed the drapes, stripped down, and folded her clothes over the arm of the reading chair in front of the windows. “I could probably use a shower.”

“Let’s talk for a second. Then we can order dinner and shower while we wait for it to get here.”

Paula lifted the covers and slid into bed. She turned on her side and kissed Renée softly. “I missed you today.” Carefully, she slid her arm around Renée’s shoulders and eased onto her back with Renée in her arms.

“What’s going on with Blair needing to come back here, do you know?” Renée rested her cheek against Paula’s breasts with a sigh.

Paula hesitated. It was an innocent enough question, but she felt protective of Blair in a way she hadn’t before, even though she had been prepared to protect her at the cost of her own life for more than a year.

“Never mind,” Renée said flatly into the silence. “That was out of line.”

“No,” Paula said. “It wasn’t. You’ve been part of the team in one way or another for months.”

“But?”

Paula sighed. “I’m not sure.”

Renée kissed the soft, smooth skin of Paula’s breast. “It’s different, being her security chief, isn’t it?”

“You know, I owe you an apology,” Paula whispered.

“What?” Renée raised her head, her expression concerned. “What are you talking about?”

“I never asked you how you felt about me accepting this assignment. I’m sorry.”

Renée inched away and leaned on her elbow, trailing the fingers of her other hand absently up and down Paula’s stomach. “Sweetie, you got a promotion that you deserved. I’m really proud of you. Don’t you know that? Because if I didn’t let you know that—”

“No,” Paula said quickly. “I mean, I never gave you a chance to say you didn’t want me to do it.”

Renée’s eyes darkened. “Is that how I make you feel? That I don’t want you to be Blair’s security chief?”

“No,” Paula said, frustrated. “But it means I’ll be traveling more, and working more, and probably…I don’t know, distracted. And that affects us.” She cupped Renée’s jaw and traced her thumb over Renée’s cheek. “I don’t want anything to come between us.”

“You’re a secret service agent, Paula,” Renée said matter-of-factly. “Just like I’m an FBI agent. At least, I was.”

“Hey. You still are.”

“Yeah, maybe. First my shoulder, now my leg. If I don’t rehab a hundred percent they’re going to pull me out of the field.” Renée looked away. “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.” She glanced back to Paula, her eyes intent. “I understand what your job requires. I’m okay with it. I’m proud of you. I’m just…things are tough right now, but it’s not you.” She leaned down and kissed Paula hard. “Sweetie, it’s not you.”

Paula drew Renée into her arms again and returned her kiss. “I hate for you to be unhappy.”

“I just need to figure out what I’m going to do if they transfer me to a desk job somewhere.” Renée closed her eyes. “I don’t think I can take that.”

Paula tightened her hold, frightened more by the despondency in Renée’s voice than the thought that her lover might be transferred across the country. “It’ll be okay. Your leg will be fine and you’ll be back to duty before you know it.”

“I’m not going to accept a post somewhere if it means I’m never going to be able to see you.” Renée caressed Paula’s chest, then circled lower, unconsciously tracing the line of muscles down to the base of her belly. “Not after everything that’s happened.”

Paula tried to focus on being supportive, but Renée’s persistent caresses were starting to sap her concentration. Casually, she covered Renée’s questing hand and drew it away from the trigger zone that was dangerously close to igniting. “I know. I feel the same.”