“Darla? It’s Tristan.” The elevator doors opened, she stepped on and pushed the button for her floor. “Any chance you can be late for work? I was thinking you might like some breakfast in bed. Where are you?” She got off at her floor and strode rapidly toward her car, shedding the skin of one life for another with every step away from the hospital. “I’ll pick you up right outside, then. Be there in a minute.”

She closed her phone and jumped in her car. She’d been seeing Darla, a statuesque redhead who worked in the accounting department at the medical school, fairly regularly. Darla had been in a long-term relationship that had ended messily, and she wasn’t in the mood for another commitment anytime soon. She was, however, usually in the mood for a few laughs and demanding sex. Tristan had soon discovered that Darla especially got off on sex in public places. Since it amused her to amuse Darla, she usually went along with it.

Gunning the engine, she sped down the ramp toward the exit. A little dose of Darla in the morning was just what she needed to diffuse the cloud of disquiet that hung heavy in her mind.

Jett slammed the hood of her Jeep and rocked back on her heels, resigned. After fiddling with her battery, the ignition, and the engine for an hour, Jett finally admitted she wasn’t going to get the damn thing to start. It had finally died. Since she wasn’t in the mood to hang around waiting for a tow, she’d call when she got home and make arrangements to meet someone before her shift later that night. Besides, walking two miles home would be a good way to unwind. Maybe when she got there, she’d be tired in a good way. Tired enough to sleep without dreaming.

She hustled down the stairwell to the street, blinking when she emerged from semidarkness into the bright sunlight. Hospital staffers hurried toward the main entrance and food vendors jostled for position along the curb. As she waited to cross at the corner, a familiar car slowed for the light. Tristan’s car. Jett felt a surge of unfamiliar pleasure. Maybe she could repay her for breakfast.

She leaned down to the open passenger window, about to call out a greeting and an invitation, when she realized Tristan wasn’t alone. A very attractive redhead crowded close to Tristan, her hand in Tristan’s lap as she nuzzled her neck. Tristan stared straight ahead, her hands clenched on the wheel.

Jett straightened and hurriedly stepped away. Tristan obviously already had plans for the day.

Chapter Ten

“Are you avoiding me?” Gail slid onto the bench in the mess tent next to Jett.

“No, why would I?” Jett sipped her coffee and hoped she sounded normal. In fact, she’d been all twisted around since the night she ended up in Gail’s tent. When her mind wasn’t totally consumed with staying alive, and keeping her fellow soldiers the same way, she thought about that night. About how good it felt to have someone else take charge, to have someone else take responsibility, to have someone else blot out the horrors that she could never quite erase from her mind. None of those feelings were normal for her, but then nothing here was normal and the longer she stayed, the more lost she felt. Even flying, her one true pleasure, was slowly becoming associated with tragedy and loss.

And because she wasn’t really herself, and because she’d almost let Gail do all those things she ordinarily wouldn’t want, she’d gotten as far away from her as fast as she could.

But when she closed her eyes, she thought about her.

Gail moved closer and lowered her voice. “You were upset when you left the other night. I was having such a good time, just relaxing with you, I didn’t realize you weren’t enjoying yourself.”

“That’s not true,” Jett said quickly, not all of it. She’d enjoyed it, and wished she hadn’t. And she had been avoiding Gail. She didn’t have casual friendships with women, although she was perfectly comfortable having casual sex. Gail seemed to want something else— something she didn’t know how to give. Gail wanted intimacy, and Jett wasn’t certain if that included physical intimacy or not. And that was the problem. Even though Gail outranked her, they were close enough that they wouldn’t be crossing any significant lines. Those lines were crossed every day between male and female officers, and people looked the other way. But they were both women, and that was a big line, especially with them working together. Gail wasn’t a one-night stand in some liberty town, never to be seen again. Gail was a career officer she’d see every day.

“Then where have you been?” Gail asked. “I’ve missed you.”

“It’s just been crazy around here. I haven’t been out of the aircraft for more than a few hours at a time in a couple of days.” Jett knew the excuse was feeble, but part of her didn’t want to say no. And she could hardly tell Gail she didn’t trust herself around her.

“I know. Whatever’s going on, it’s heating up. The casualty count is higher than I can ever remember it.”

Jett felt a surge of relief, glad that Gail had accepted her excuse.

She’d learned fairly early in life that on those rare occasions when she connected with someone, she connected on every level. When she let herself care about a woman, she wanted her, and more often than not that got her into trouble. So now she stopped it before it even started.

Since she was incapable of doing things by degrees, she chose not to let any relationship go too far. Fortunately military life, especially for a lesbian, wasn’t conducive to anything long-term or even short-term serious.

But things had already gone too far with Gail. Somehow, Gail had gotten past her normal defenses, and now Jett was powerless to keep her out. Just the same, she didn’t think she could offer Gail the kind of close physical contact that came naturally to Gail. Not without wanting, needing, to share everything. And there were a million reasons why that was a bad idea. No, the best course was to just stay away from her.

“I’m not going to let you get away, you know,” Gail whispered, shifting almost imperceptibly until their shoulders touched. “I never got a chance to finish with you the other night.”

Arousal punched through Jett, and if she hadn’t been sitting, she might have doubled over. She took a shaky breath, praying for the strength to resist.

“Hey, Cap! Jett!”

At the sound of her name, Jett stopped walking and stared around her in confusion. Where she expected to see an endless stretch of desert sand, she saw lush grass and thick leafy trees. The bright sun was hot but carried no hint of deadly intent. The morning was beautiful. Linda waved to her from the front seat of a dark blue convertible that idled at the curb, its top down and all the windows open.

“Do you need a ride?” Linda asked.

“No, thanks,” Jett said, still reeling from the too-fresh memories.

She hadn’t been this bad since she’d first left the service. Now she could barely keep the images at bay even when awake, and she couldn’t figure out what was triggering them. Linda regarded her expectantly, and she wondered if she’d actually answered out loud. She repeated, “No, thanks. I don’t live that far away. Just up on Lincoln Drive.”

“I’m going that way. I don’t live that far, either, but I’m glad I’m not walking after the night we had. I’ve just got to stop and pick up my daughter for a dentist appointment. She’s right on the way.” Linda waited a few seconds. “Come on, get in. It’s a beautiful morning for a ride.”

Jett was about to refuse again and then realized she didn’t really want to. She didn’t want be left alone with the recurring images of those barren, arid months when nothing was truly as it seemed except the certainty that no one could outrun death. She walked over to the car, braced her hands on the frame, and vaulted the door into the passenger seat.

“Thanks,” Jett said. “A ride would be nice.”

Linda gave her an appreciative glance before pulling away from the curb. “Nice move.”

Jett frowned. “Sorry?”

“That little show of muscle getting into the car.”

“I didn’t realize that sort of thing qualified as a move,” Jett said with a laugh.

“You’re kidding.” Linda raised an eyebrow. “You fly a helicopter and you haven’t figured out that girls love macho studs?”

“Can’t say as I have.” Jett tilted her head back and watched the clouds skim by overhead. The wind rushing by the car and the streaming clouds made her feel as if she were flying. Pleasantly relaxed, she answered without thinking. “Probably because I don’t qualify as either

macho or studly.”

“Where exactly did you grow up?” Linda signaled and turned left. “Somewhere the women were blind, obviously.”

Ordinarily Jett would have been on edge with the direction of the conversation, but Linda wasn’t saying anything Jett hadn’t heard her say in one form or another to every other member of the team. Linda was easy to be around. She played at flirting, but Jett had the clear sense it was all in fun. The undercurrent of heat was missing. “On a farm where the nearest girl my age was twenty miles away and engaged by the time she was fifteen. And she wasn’t all that unusual.”

Linda groaned. “No baby dykes?”

“If there were, we didn’t recognize each other.”

“Well, I’m here to tell you, we girls love handsome girls like you who handle big equipment with finesse.”

Jett laughed. “I never realized my aircraft would be so useful.”

“Oh yeah, that helicopter is so sexy.”

Tristan’s voice came back to her, along with the image of the mesmerizing light in her eyes when she said, You make me wish I were a helicopter. A wave of longing broke over Jett and for a second she was breathless. Then she pictured Tristan in the car with the redhead who seemed very very glad to see Tristan. Tristan obviously had her pick of women, and probably said something similar to all of them. She definitely wasn’t saying no to what the redhead was offering.

“The next time we’re headed into a thunderstorm,” Jett said, forcing a smile, “I’ll try sweet-talking my aircraft if things get bumpy.”

“Never underestimate the power of sex appeal, Captain.”

“I wasn’t a captain.”

“What were you?”

“Chief Warrant Officer.”

“Oh, I like that.” Linda gave Jett a sultry look. “Chief.”

Jett groaned and Linda laughed.

“I’ll just be a minute.” Linda slowed and stopped on the shoulder in front of a wide expanse of immaculately groomed grass where several groups of youths in various uniforms ran up and down the field.

“Take your time. I’m good.”

Jett closed her eyes, determined not to think about Tristan or Gail or feelings she couldn’t understand and didn’t want. When the car rocked a little bit and a female voice very close to her ear murmured, “Hi. Who are you?” she opened her eyes. A blonde bent over her, her arms folded on the top of the door, her mouth inches from Jett’s. The position afforded Jett an unimpeded view down the blonde’s scoop-necked top, making it abundantly clear that she wore nothing underneath the tight white ribbed cotton. Her breasts were full and pale and, if the hint of pink was any indication, rose-tipped.

“Jett McNally,” Jett said, straightening in her seat and glancing toward the field. Linda was on the far side, her hand on the shoulder of a young child, talking to another adult. “I’m a friend of Linda’s.”

“Oh, goody. I was afraid for a moment you might be taken.” The blonde extended her hand, leaning even further into the passenger seat. Her breast brushed Jett’s shoulder. “I’m Mandy. I’m available.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jett shook her hand and couldn’t help but smile. Mandy’s eyes danced with unabashed invitation. The total lack of subterfuge was oddly appealing.

“So you work at the hospital?” When Jett nodded, Mandy snaked her fingers up Jett’s bare arm and underneath the sleeve of her tight black T-shirt. “I like this new look. So much better than those ugly green scrub shirts.”

“I don’t wear scrubs. I’m a pilot,” Jett replied, shivering involuntarily as Mandy played her nails over her biceps.

“Ooh. Really?” Mandy’s mouth curved into a smile, as if she had just tasted something particularly delicious. “That’s very interesting. What else can you drive?”

“Almost anything.” Jett hadn’t sought anyone out for pleasure in a very long time, and her body was telling her loud and clear the absence had been noted. Her unwanted dreams of Gail were becoming more and more frequent, and whether she welcomed it or not, her need spiraled higher every day. She was going to have to do something soon, and this woman, a very attractive ruby-lipped, full-bodied, ripe and luscious woman, was offering.