Deo let out a long sigh. “Good. That’s good. That’s a place to start from.”

Nita laughed shakily and opened her eyes. “Now who isn’t making sense?”

“Why did you tell me this morning that you didn’t want anything from me except a fuck now and then?”

Deo’s words sounded as if they were forced out through ground glass, and Nita knew that she had hurt her. Her fi ngers shook as she pushed them through Deo’s hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to use you.” Nita imagined how it must seem to Deo, because she knew how diminished she had felt when Sylvia had come to her for sex but wouldn’t allow her anything else. “God, Deo, I’m so sorry.”

“Answer the question,” Deo whispered. “What are you so afraid of?”

Nita turned her face away. She couldn’t answer that question, because if she did, she’d have to face what it meant, and she wasn’t ready. “I can’t.”

“I’m not going to sleep with you again until you tell me. It might drive me crazy, but I mean it.” Deo gently turned Nita’s face back to hers and kissed her, a deep slow possessive kiss. “I think about you all the time. I want you right now. Inside me. I want to fuck you and come inside you.”

Nita groaned. “Stop.”

• 217 •

RADCLY fFE

“Sorry. I can’t.” Deo tilted her head, listening to the rain drum against the wood-covered windows. “I’ve got to get back to work.

Something big is coming.”

Before Deo could disappear, Nita gripped her shirt. “I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Will you call me? I can’t…I can’t think, I can’t work if I don’t hear from you.” She bunched Deo’s work shirt in her fi sts and pressed her forehead to Deo’s shoulder. “God, I hate this.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Deo lifted Nita’s face with her fi ngers beneath her chin. “Nita, I’m not going anywhere. You can talk to me anytime you want. Just call me.”

“Could it be that easy?”

“We’ll have to see, won’t we?” Deo kissed her again, gently, and backed away. “Drive carefully.”

Nita let her get all the way across the room before she called after her. “I lied this morning. I want to see you. Just…see you.”

Deo looked over her shoulder. “Then I’ll fi nd you.”

• 218 •

Winds of Fortune

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Nita sat with Tory and the disaster response coordinators in a small stuffy room in Town Hall. Someone had closed the tall narrow windows against the heavy rain that now fell in unbroken sheets, and with only fans to move the heavy air around, she felt like she was breathing wet cotton wool. She could barely remember everyone’s names. It was after eleven, she’d seen patients for over twelve hours on not much sleep the night before, and she was worried. Worried about the impending storm and what it meant for the community, worried that she and Tory might not be able to handle a full scale natural catastrophe even with the help of the highly skilled local EMTs and paramedics, and worried about Deo. Deo hadn’t called, and when Nita had fi nally broken down and tried her offi ce number around nine p.m., her call had been forwarded, but she hadn’t reached Deo.

“Camara Construction.”

“Hello, this is Nita Burgoyne. Is Deo around?”

“Oh, hey Nita…I mean, Dr. Burgoyne…it’s Joey. Last I heard from her she was still out on the harbor, tendering people in from their boats.

The sea’s already too rough for people to ride this out on board.”

“How long will she be out?”

“Dunno. Quite a while yet, I fi gure, and then tomorrow she’s got a list of places that need their windows shuttered. Going to be a crazy few days.”

“Yes,” Nita said absently, wondering when Deo would sleep. She worried that Deo was doing diffi cult work in dangerous weather when she had to be exhausted. Would she be careful on the water, the water that held such pain for her?

“She’ll be checking in soon. You want her to call you?”

“No. No…just tell her I called.”

“Sure. Hey…you want her cell phone number? She doesn’t always

• 219 •

RADCLY fFE

get the calls out there, so you might get relayed right back to me—”

“That’s not necessary, thanks. Sorry to bother you, I know you must be busy.”

“No problem. Uh, hey, Nita. I was wondering…”

“Problem with your hand?”

“No. Pia said I’m doing great. I was just wondering if you’d like to have dinner some night. You know…with me.”

It took Nita a minute to decipher what he’d said, because she didn’t register his meaning at fi rst. Then, she struggled for the right thing to say. “Joey, that’s really nice of you, but I don’t think so. Thank you, though.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. Deo said you wouldn’t go for it.”

“Did she.” Nita wondered just when and what Deo and Joey had discussed about her.

“But what the heck, if you don’t try you’ll never know what you might be missing, right?”

“Right,” Nita said slowly. “You’re absolutely right.”

Now, more than two hours later, Nita still hadn’t heard from Deo.

She hoped Deo wasn’t still ferrying people back and forth in the harbor.

Growing more desperate by the minute just to hear Deo’s voice, she nevertheless made mental notes on the plans being discussed. Deo was doing her job, and Nita needed to do hers.

“Reports from the head of the business bureau indicate that most of the tourists have already left or will be leaving in the morning,” Reese said to the group. “If the forecast hasn’t changed by midday tomorrow, we’ll order a mandatory evacuation of all nonresidents. That should give everyone time to get off the Cape even though we anticipate travel times could be close to twelve hours. That still gives us a twenty-four-hour window before the big winds and surf get here.”

Someone who Nita thought might be the head of the town council gathered up a pile of papers and said, “Then I think we’ve done everything we can for the moment. Let’s reconvene tomorrow morning at eleven for an update.”

Tory turned to Nita as the other members in the room began to leave. “I’ve had Randy block out tomorrow afternoon for urgent patients. I can come to this meeting if you want to run out to Beech Forest in the morning and see how many residents are staying.”

• 220 •

Winds of Fortune

“That’s fi ne. I’m available if you need me sooner.”

“Great, thanks. You should try to get some sleep while you can.”

“Yes,” Nita said, even though sleep was not what she wanted. She bid Tory and the others good night and fortifi ed herself for the short walk to her car.

Outside, the night was moonless, and shards of rain slanted beneath the inadequate cover of her umbrella and battered her face. Giving up on the hope of remaining dry, Nita slammed her umbrella closed and made a run for it. Once inside the car, she looked toward the harbor, wondering where Deo was. The visibility was so poor she couldn’t see anything at all. Frustrated, she started her car, but instead of heading toward home, she drove in the opposite direction toward Deo’s condo.

The parking space in front of Deo’s unit was empty and Nita pulled into the adjoining spot.

“Five minutes,” Nita whispered. “I’ll just wait for fi ve minutes, and if she doesn’t come home, I’ll call her again in the morning.”

When she realized she was staring at her watch, Nita tilted her head back and closed her eyes, trying not to silently count the seconds.

❖

As Deo jumped from her truck and made a dash for her condo, she heard a car door open and close nearby. Surprised that anyone was out in the middle of the night in the worst weather she could ever remember, she slowed and peered through the rain. A second later, she recognized Nita. Her swift surge of pleasure was almost immediately replaced by concern.

“Jesus, Nita,” Deo yelled, grabbing Nita’s arm and pulling her under the shelter of the short roof that protected her front door. “What the hell are you doing out here? It’s four in the morning!”

“I just stopped by to see if you were all right. I guess I fell asleep.”

Chilled from her sudden soaking, she cuddled closer to Deo as Deo fumbled with the lock. “I should go so you can get some sleep.”

Deo pushed the door open and tugged Nita inside. She kicked the door closed with her foot, grasped Nita’s shoulders, and kissed her hard. “Don’t be crazy. You’re not going anywhere.”

Nita automatically wrapped her arms around Deo’s shoulders and kissed her back. “You’ve got to be beyond exhausted. Everything has

• 221 •

RADCLY fFE

just gotten so crazy so fast, I wasn’t sure when I would be able to see you again.” She hugged Deo closer. “Now I have. That’s enough.”

“Maybe it is for you,” Deo murmured, kissing Nita’s neck. “But it isn’t for me. I need a shower to get warm, and then I want to crawl into bed with you.”

Nita leaned back and smiled fl eetingly. “What happened to your mandate about no sex?”

“I didn’t say anything about sex.”

“Good, because you’re going to sleep.” Nita grasped Deo’s hand, guided by instinct and too tired to think of all the reasons she shouldn’t be doing what she was about to do. She wasn’t just tired—she was frightened, she was cold, and she was lonely. Life had turned upside down in twenty-four hours, and the one solid point in her universe was Deo. “Would you mind very much if I shared your shower?”

Deo shot her a glance. “Do I look dead to you?”

“No,” Nita replied throatily, “you look…delicious.”

“Cut it out,” Deo said unconvincingly.

Nita laughed. “Say that like you mean it.”

“I can’t.”

“Good.”

When they reached the bathroom and Deo began shedding her clothes, Nita realized she’d made a mistake. What Deo needed was a hot shower and as much sleep as she could get. And Nita couldn’t even look at her without wanting to touch her. She backed toward the door.

“On second thought, I’ll skip the shower for now.”

Naked, Deo reached around her and held the door closed with her hand. Her body pressed against Nita’s. “Take your clothes off.”

“Deo—”

“Do it, Nita,” Deo whispered and moved in for a kiss.

“You said you weren’t going to have sex with me.” Trembling, Nita turned her head away so that Deo’s kiss only caught the corner of her mouth. “This is cruel.”

“You don’t like the way you feel right now?”

Drawing a shaky breath, Nita shook her head back and forth. “I don’t like wanting you so badly it hurts and knowing I can’t have you.”

She turned her head back, struggling not to cup Deo’s breasts in her hands. “I’m trying to give you what you want. You said you didn’t want it to be just about sex.”

• 222 •

Winds of Fortune

“What do you want, Nita?” Deo held still even though she wanted to rub herself over Nita’s body. “Forget about me and what I want or what you think I want you to be. Just say what it is you want.”

The silence grew until the air felt so heavy Nita didn’t think she could pull it into her lungs. Her heart raced and her chest ached. She couldn’t remember the last time she thought about what she wanted instead of what she couldn’t have and shouldn’t desire and didn’t dare dream of.

“Tell me,” Deo said, her eyes boring into Nita’s, her mouth just a breath away from closing over Nita’s.

“I want…” Nita shuddered and gripped Deo’s arms. Deo’s skin was so hot she felt feverish. “I want to make love with you and not be afraid you’ll be gone as soon as you come. I want to see you on the street and not have you pretend you don’t know me. I want…god, I want…”

“Go ahead,” Deo whispered. “You can say it.”

“I want not to hate how much I want you.”

“Do you?” Deo inched away until their bodies didn’t touch, but she cradled Nita’s cheek in her hand, still watching her eyes. “Do you hate wanting to make me come?”

“No,” Nita said breathlessly.

“Do you hate wanting me inside of you, making you come?”

Beyond words, Nita shook her head.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Nita closed her eyes. The intensity in Deo’s face made it impossible for her to think. She was turning liquid inside, her bones were melting.

She felt so exposed it was as if she had no skin. She almost expected to look down and see rivulets of blood collecting around her feet.

“Nita,” Deo murmured. “Nita, are you afraid of me?”

“No, God, no.”

Wordlessly, Deo unbuttoned Nita’s blouse. Then she reached around her and released her bra, gently baring her breasts. She kissed her as she opened her slacks and pushed them down along with her panties. “Let’s shower.”

While Deo turned on the water and the room fi lled with steam, Nita removed her shoes and the rest of her clothes. The shower was small and when she stepped inside she couldn’t help but touch Deo. “I suggest we make this fast, or I can’t be responsible for what happens.”