“Hey. Take your time.”

“Thanks.” Allie kissed her cheek. “Be right back.”

Allie showered and washed her hair, then dressed in loose tan drawstring pants and a white long-sleeved ribbed pullover. Barefoot, she padded into the living room. Flynn had stretched out on the couch and had a Victoria’s Secret catalog propped on her chest. Allie laughed.

“Looking for underwear?”

Flynn turned toward her, balancing her beer bottle on her thigh and marking her place in the catalog with a finger. She grinned lazily.

“Just looking at the girls.”

Allie sat on the edge of the sofa, her hip against Flynn’s. She could see herself stretching out beside her, curling up into her. She could see herself unbuttoning Flynn’s shirt with the EMT logo on the sleeve and slipping her hand inside. She could see herself doing a lot of things.

The pictures in her mind made her body warm and liquid. But she didn’t move. “How come you don’t have a girlfriend? You’re prime real estate, you know.”

Flynn’s grin flickered and disappeared.

“Sorry,” Allie said instantly. “I didn’t mean to get personal.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” Flynn said quietly. “Getting personal?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what I’m doing tonight.” She laughed shakily and pushed damp hair away from her face. “But I was serious about you being special.”

Flynn sat up and patted the sofa next to her. “Lean back and relax.

You’re supposed to be taking it easy.”

Allie made a face, but she settled back and curled her legs up under her. Flynn put her arm around her. It was comfortable. She was tired and sore and Flynn felt good. She rubbed Flynn’s thigh, remembering how it felt to have those hard muscles pressed tight between her legs.

“I don’t have anything against girls who play the field, you know. I’ve pretty much always been that way myself.”

“I haven’t had a lot of time to get a girlfriend, not seriously,” Flynn said after a while. “Before I became a paramedic, I went to school in Cambridge.”

• 132 •

RetuRning tides

“What? They don’t have girls at Harvard?” Allie teased.

Flynn smiled. “They had a few girls. None of them were interested in me, though.”

Allie snorted. “I find that hard to believe.”

“I didn’t go to Harvard, I went to a place called EDS. Episcopal Divinity School. I’m a priest.”

“Holy shit,” Allie whispered, then clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”

Flynn grasped Allie’s wrist and pulled it away from her face. “You can see why I don’t talk about it that much. It’s kind of a mood killer on a date.”

“Then what are you doing here? Why aren’t you—in a church or something?”

“It’s a long story. I am ordained, but I’ve never ministered. I realized that I didn’t have the calling, and I think you need to. So I went another direction.”

“Wow.”

“I guess you don’t think I’m so hot anymore,” Flynn said softly.

Allie shifted on the sofa and grasped both of Flynn’s hands.

“Wrong. Totally wrong. In a perverted kind of way, I think you’re even sexier now.”

Flynn’s face relaxed and she laughed. Carefully, she pulled Allie onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed her neck.

“You’re not freaked out?”

“I’m not very religious, so no. I’m curious, though.”

“I meant it when I said it’s a long story. Some other time, maybe.”

Flynn lightly nibbled a spot below her ear.

“Okay,” Allie agreed. She would have probed but Flynn didn’t seem anxious to talk about it, and Flynn’s mouth was doing dangerous things to her brain. Like melting it. Flynn’s kisses turned to gentle bites, and Allie’s nipples started to tingle. The next thing to start would be her clit, and she didn’t want to go there. Not tonight. But she didn’t want Flynn to think it was because of what she’d just told her. “In fact, I’m not religious at all. I’m not sure I get it, completely. Does that freak you out?”

“Uh-uh,” Flynn murmured.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?”

Flynn tilted her head back and stared into Allie’s eyes. “Episcopal

• 133 •

RAdCLY fFe

priests don’t take a vow of celibacy. And I’ve had a few years to catch up to what I missed while I was in seminary.”

“Oh good,” Allie whispered, squirming in Flynn’s lap as Flynn rubbed her cheek over Allie’s breast, making her nipple harden beneath the thin cotton. “Oh fuck, that feels good. Sorry—sorry, I can’t think when you do that.”

“Don’t apologize. Swearing doesn’t bother me.”

Flynn’s warm breath teased her breast through her shirt. Her breasts were a huge trigger and she couldn’t stop herself from pressing her nipple against Flynn’s mouth. When Flynn obediently bit down, Allie whimpered softly. “God, Flynn, that turns me on so much.”

With a groan, Flynn released Allie’s nipple and let her head fall back against the couch. “All I have to do is kiss you and I totally forget everything. Like the fact that you’re bruised and sore and I’m trying to maul you. I’m sorry.”

“Any other time, believe me, maul away.” Allie leaned down and kissed her, slowly and thoroughly. When she pulled back, she was panting and Flynn’s eyes were glazed. “I hate to say this, but I really do think I need to go to bed. I’m just—I’m just a little strung out over everything, you know?”

“I know, and I’m good with that, really.” Flynn hesitated. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention anything about what I told you.”

“I won’t. Promise.” Allie sighed.

Flynn helped Allie get to her feet, then put her arms around her and whispered, “Anything I can do before I go?”

“Oh, you’ve done plenty. Gold star, Flynn.” Allie walked Flynn to the door and gave her another serious good-night kiss. Flynn held her close, caressing her back and her ass, but not pushing for anything more than the kiss. Just the same, Allie throbbed in all the danger zones by the time she broke it off. “And I don’t just think you’re hot. I think you’re blazing.”

v

“You need to get out of here,” Nita said, leaning in the doorway of Tory’s office. “You were only supposed to work half a day, remember?”

• 134 •

RetuRning tides

“Did Ash Walker get taken care of?” Tory asked wearily.

“Yes. One of Reese’s officers came by to drive her home. Really, you look beat. I’ll take care of the chart work.”

“I appreciate it. Reese picked the baby up a little while ago, and I’d really like to get home before she goes to sleep. It’s been a long couple of weeks without her.”

“Go, go.”

“Can you come in for a minute and close the door?” Tory dreaded asking, but she’d pushed everything out of her mind during the last few chaotic hours, taking care of two injured friends. She couldn’t hold her worry off any longer. “What do you think about Reese?”

“You know the party line,” Nita said gently, settling into one of the chairs in front of Tory’s desk. She crossed her legs and draped one arm over her knee, leaning forward, her face serious and compassionate. “I told her I wanted to get a CAT scan just to be sure we aren’t dealing with some small area of cortical scarring that’s acting as a seizure focus.

I had Sally draw blood for routine chemistry and also an endocrine panel. Until I get the results, anything I say would be premature and possibly inaccurate.”

“All right. You’ve given me the safe answer,” Tory said evenly.

“Now tell me what your gut says.”

“I think she’s possibly the most amazing women I’ve ever met.”

Tory laughed. “Flatterer.”

“I mean it,” Nita said, smiling, “and you know how I feel about Deo.”

“Yes, I witnessed the courtship, remember.”

“And I have no secrets left.” Nita’s smooth café au lait skin flushed. “In addition to all her obvious attributes, psychologically Reese is really remarkable. And unusual. You know that, right?”

“She’s spoiled me,” Tory said softly. “When I met her, I didn’t believe in love anymore. Not the kind of love that changes your life.

Not the kind that…well, you know.” Tory took a breath. “And then, there she was. So…damn perfect. So strong, so clear minded, so utterly completely focused on me. She gave me everything I ever wanted and let me want more.” Tory folded her hands on her desk and stared at her intertwined fingers. “And I’ve indulged myself in how wonderful that makes me feel. How wonderful she makes me feel. And maybe I’ve asked too much of her all this time.”

• 135 •

RAdCLY fFe

“Oh boy,” Nita murmured. “I’m going out on a limb here, because I’ve only known you two a relatively short time. But I think you’re wrong. About indulging yourself and about taking advantage of her.

That’s what you’re getting at, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. I guess so.” Tory was sick thinking that Reese needed her and had been afraid to tell her. Thinking that she hadn’t given Reese what she needed when Reese came home so damaged. That she’d allowed herself to believe that Reese was strong enough to handle anything that came her way, because she needed her to be.

“Reese is about the most honest person I’ve ever met,” Nita said. “I asked her some pretty pointed questions and we talked about some pretty frightening things. Or what would be frightening for most people. In my opinion, she’s not frightened, she’s not anxious, she’s not psychologically fragile. She’s every bit as strong as you think she is.”

Tory straightened. “You don’t think she has PTSD?”

“I think she’s displaying completely normal, human reactions to a horrifying experience. Mild psychic trauma that’s well on the way to mending. She said herself that her nightmares are getting better. You seem to think that she’s improving.”

“Yes. But if it’s not that…” Tory’s chest tightened as if a huge hand were squeezing around her heart. For a second, she couldn’t catch her breath. “You think…you found something physical?”

“No, no,” Nita said quickly, shaking her head. “God, I knew I should wait until we had the tests—”

“I’m sorry. I’m fine. Really. I want…I need to hear this. Please.”

“Okay…bear with me while I try to put this into words. Reese is really complicated, and she’s also really simple. She functions on two levels, as far as I can tell. You said yourself she’s a Marine, and that goes far beyond just a job description. It’s part of her psyche—an ingrained need to take responsibility for others, to see that good wins out, if you will. It’s the soldier mentality. She needs to be the sheriff now just as much as she needed to be a Marine before. It’s her purpose.”

“I know. I realized that soon after we met, and as hard as it is, I would never ask her to change.”

Nita nodded. “And then there’s the bigger part of her. That part you’re too close to see. The part where she’s vulnerable. And that’s you.”

“Me.”

• 136 •

RetuRning tides

“The only time I got a response out of her that was anything other than totally calm and controlled was when we were talking about you.

Anything that affects you—your mental or physical comfort—that’s her Achilles’ heel.” Nita hesitated.

“What? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Her blood pressure spiked to two-thirty systolic at one point. We happened to be talking about you.”

“Two-thirty,” Tory whispered. “God, Nita. She could stroke at that level.”

“If she weren’t in such superb physical condition, I’d be a lot more worried.” Nita kept her gaze steady on Tory’s. “I’m not saying it’s not something to worry about, but we need more information before we panic.”

“What do you recommend?” At that moment, Tory couldn’t even begin to think like a physician. All she could envision was something happening to Reese. She saw her hands trembling, but she couldn’t feel them. Her lips tingled but when she ran her tongue over them they felt like wood. The room dimmed and she wondered if someone had turned the lights off in the clinic.

“Tory.” Nita’s voice came from far away. “Tory, put your head down.”

Tory felt fingers on the back of her neck, gently kneading. She took a deep breath and slowly became aware of her cheek resting against her desk. She pushed herself upright. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”

Nita sat back down, her expression sympathetic. “You know, Reese isn’t the only one susceptible to PTSD. You’ve been under almost as much stress as she has. And you’re exhausted.”

“I’m all right,” Tory said quickly. “I haven’t been sleeping that well and my leg’s bothering me.” She saw Nita’s eyebrows lift almost imperceptibly. “And, all right, I’m terrified of something happening to her.”