I then kissed her on the lips and she said, “How can I help?”

I told her to fill us up each a glass of wine and wait out on the patio. She happily obliged and poured us each a glass and took a healthy sip. I walked over to her and said, “Can I have a taste?” She began to hand me my glass when I wrapped her in my arms and my mouth was instantly on hers and I was sweeping my tongue in her mouth. She tasted of sweet red wine with a bit of tang and Ashlynn.

I started to wonder what else other parts of her would taste like but this had to go slow. Impossibly slow because I didn’t want to mess it up so as much as I didn’t want to I set her back down and she smiled up at me. “How did you like the wine?”

I couldn’t help it so I kissed her again and said, “Insatiable.”

She tried to deepen the kiss but I put her at arm’s length and said, “If you don’t go out there right now I’m going to carry you back to my room. And Ash? I’m trying really damn right now.”

She just nodded and took a few steps backwards from me. Picking up the wine glasses she started to walk out to the patio but stopped and turned. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

The second she walked out I began to set up our plates but my phone started to ring. I picked it up and saw that it was an Unknown caller so I pressed the Ignore button.

Getting everything situated I started to pick up our plates but my phone started to ring again. I saw that it was Unknown again but I picked it up anyway. “Hello?”

As soon as I heard the man’s voice I automatically knew who it was. Of course I hadn’t talked to him since Jade and I left for school but you never forget your dad’s voice. “Jason. We need to talk.” 

Chapter 6

Ashlynn

I couldn’t believe what Jason had told me about his and Jade’s childhoods. It completely broke my heart. No wonder he was questioning us becoming a couple because first he had to trust somebody completely in order to tell them about what he called his mess. I also couldn’t believe what his parents had done to him and Jade.

To be perfectly honest I wasn’t really sure which parent was worse. Their dad for degrading them and beating the shit out of Jason or their mom for looking the other way? Either way I think they both deserved to burn in hell for what they did to their children and how they ruined their lives.

He had to open up his heart and while a part of me was grateful he had chosen to tell me another part was terrified completely because I didn’t want to think about what struggles we would have to go through.

I’ve read so many books where the struggles are completely worth it in the end and with Jason I have to agree. In my heart and my mind I knew that we would go through struggles and heartbreaks and this would be a complete mess. I knew there would be tears shed and shouts and screams from either end. I knew there would be words said we would later regret.

But without a doubt in my body I also knew there would be beauty, laughter, joy, and most importantly love shared between the two of us. I just didn’t know about all the struggles we were going to face until the last night we were in Florida.

Everything seemed to be going amazingly between Jason and me. However, as I waited for him out on the deck for our dinner I noticed him on the phone and that’s when his whole demeanor shifted and the mess we would have to face began. He walked out onto the deck and while we ate dinner I didn’t taste a thing. It all tasted like cardboard because in the pit of my stomach I knew something was horribly wrong. I wanted to ask him about it but I knew that with Jason I had to give him his time. I knew that if I pushed him too far he would close off from me completely and indefinitely. So I gave him his time … a month and a half to be exact.


“I still can’t believe you haven’t spoken to Jason since you guys got back from Spring Break,” Derrick said while rubbing some suntan lotion on his face.

Derrick, Patrick, Sarah, and I decided to go to the beach for the day. While it sucked that we hadn’t seen Jason since Spring Break ended, we also hadn’t seen much of Jade either. Even though Jade and I lived together she was always closed off in her room or over at Jason’s. While it hurt, I had to think that maybe something was going on at home and they didn’t want to talk about it.

Hell, Jade never even told me how awful hers and Jason’s childhoods were. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt because it hurt like a complete bitch. I had never gone through something like that; not even along the same curvy, twisted lines so I can only imagine what it would feel like peeling that bandage off and opening up the wound.

I looked over at Derrick and just gave a shrug of my shoulders. “What am I supposed to do? I’ve tried to text Jason and I’ve tried to talk to Jade but they’re so closed off.”

This whole thing is just so jumbled up and I don’t know what to do or what I’m supposed to say to anybody. That is, if I’m supposed to say anything in the first place. Jason told me the secrets that were buried deep inside his closet, Jade hasn’t told me anything and Derrick, Patrick, Isabelle, Maddox, Sarah, and Gabe all just think that Jason is being a pussy and they don’t know what’s going on with Jade.

However, I can’t explain to them what exactly is going on. So in cases like the one I’m in right now I just shrug my shoulders hoping maybe that’ll be enough of an answer … but for how long exactly? I’m not so sure.

I looked down at my twisted fingers when I felt an arm wrap around me and I turned to see Sarah looking at me giving a sympathetic smile. Sarah and Gabe were like the parents of the group. While we are all going through our relationship drama now, they went through theirs back in high school. I was jealous of that but like every relationship there are good and bad times and I’m just having to go through the bad times right now.

“OMG HOT ASS AT TWO O’ CLOCK!!” Sarah and I turned to Patrick and he was pointing behind Sarah and I. So as not to make it completely obvious we turned around all the way and recognized that it was the guy from when Isabelle and I went Christmas shopping together.

We turned back around and saw Patrick fanning himself saying, “Hot damn he’s gorgeous. I would just like to lick…”

That’s when Derrick had begun to cough and said, “Yes sweetie, what would you like to lick of his?”

Patrick’s eyes got huge and he turned to Derrick and smiled. Ever so sweetly he wrapped his arms around Derrick’s neck and whispered, “They’re just words Derr, but the actions are what matter. So with that Derrick … I love you,” and Patrick kisses him on the lips.

If I had somebody by my side being able to do that to I would so not hate Patrick and Derrick in this moment. Hell, I don’t even hate them because they are so damn cute together. They even one another out because while Patrick is outspoken and loud, Derrick is quiet and reserved and you can tell from just one look they love each other quite a bit. In complete and total honesty … I’m jealous.

That’s when Sarah had to say, “Well, I have to get going chickys. Gabe and I have to make all the final touches before the wedding.”

Right then and there I went from feeling like nothing to feeling like complete and utter shit. I hated bitching like that but it sucks when you know the person who you are going to spend the rest of your life with and you don’t know how to fix the problems in his life. You have to watch from a distance because he won’t let you in and as much as you try to help he pushes you away.

After Sarah gave us each a hug she said, “The next time you guys will see me I’ll be Mrs. Gabe Prescott!”

We all laughed and cheered, but I couldn’t help but wonder when it would be my time to say things like that. It just seemed like everyone around me was finding someone to spend the rest of their life with. Of course there was Jade because I couldn’t see her ever settling down. If she did though it would take someone who was out of this world because I didn’t see her changing anytime soon.

Once Sarah packed up her beach bag and left, Patrick and Derrick decided to go play in the water so I laid on my stomach, welcoming the peace and quiet and started to read.

Reading is the only thing that calms me and helps me escape. By reading it’s almost like I’m torturing myself because I wouldn’t have to read if my life wasn’t such a fuck up right now.

I envy Isabelle because she’s no longer reading books, but writing them about her and Maddox. While I probably would never write a book, I do look forward to the day where it’s a possibility that I’ll be able to share the beauty in life and not have to read about it in order to escape mine.

I was on the last chapter of my book when a little girl walked up to me and asked, “Do you know where my brother is?”

I sat up, looked at her and saw that she wasn’t much older than four. I put my book back in my bag and turned to her and said, “No, but I can help you find him. I’m Ashlynn by the way. What’s your name sweetie?”

She gave a tiny smile and said, “Jacquelyn.”

I placed my hand out to shake her hand and asked, “What’s your brother’s name, Jacquelyn?”

We started our walk around the beach when she said, “Neil.”

I was about to ask that sweet little girl what her brother Neil looked like when we hear a deep male voice screaming, “JACQUELYN! JACQUELYN! JACQUELYN!”

We turned around and saw a guy running all over the place carrying a little boy and then Jacquelyn screamed, “NEIL! TOMMY!” The guy stopped in his tracks to face us and saw his little sister. The biggest smile came across his face and he began to run to her.

Releasing her hand from mine Jacquelyn scurried on over to her big brother.

After he picked her up into his arms and spins her around Neil places her back in the sand and looked into her eyes. Very seriously he said, “Jack-O-Lantern you can’t run away like that again, okay? You had me really scared that something might happen to you.”

That was when he turned to look at me and a little smile appeared on his face but just as quickly he looked back at his little sister and said, “What if this nice lady wasn’t here? I don’t know what I would have done.”

In a tiny little voice Jacquelyn squeaked, “I’m sorry Neil. I love you,” and wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him on the cheek. Just like that Neil melts and he goes from this scary big guy to this little softy right before my eyes.