He stopped and tossed the pencil aside again, then shifted his position in his leather chair. “But there might not even be as many chances for you as you’d like to think.” His voice lowered and Donnigan had to strain to hear. “I happen to know they aren’t all spoken for—yet. If you were smart, you’d think about it. It only takes passage money and a small fee to the broker.”

Broker? Was that what they called him? Donnigan winced.

“I don’t think—” he began.

“Gonna be a long, cold winter,” Lucas remarked, lifting his eyes from the ledger sheets and studying Donnigan coolly. “If you change your mind—come see me. Could be a real answer to some woman’s prayer.”

Donnigan turned and left the room. Answer to some woman’s prayer, indeed. What a self-righteous way of looking at peddling human life.

He didn’t even step into the hotel dining room to have himself a decent meal as he usually did when he was in town. He was too worked up. Too riled. Instead, he headed for the bank to withdraw the money to pay Wallis for the two sows, stuffed the money in his pocket, and went to get his horse.

As he mounted the black his thoughts were still dark and brooding. He turned the horse toward home and gave him his head. He knew the horse would want to run, and he figured a bit of wind in his face might serve to blow away a few cobwebs. Cool his agitation some.

At last he reined in the stallion and coaxed him to settle for a fast trot.

“We’ll be home soon enough,” he told the horse. “No use winding you.”

He wished now that he’d stopped in town for a good meal. He was already feeling hungry, and he hated the thought of getting out the frying pan when he got back to the house. He was sick of salted pork and fried beans. He was sick of tough biscuits and stale coffee. Maybe he was just sick—he didn’t know.

* * *

He stopped by Wallis’s to leave off the money. The man grinned his pleasure as he reached for the coffee can stuck inside the fireplace chimney and added the dollars to his stash.

“Got it all now,” he said, showing the gap in his front teeth. “I’ll hustle it on into town first thing tomorrow.”

Donnigan found himself wondering just what kind of woman Wallis had “ordered.”

“When do you want me to pick up the sows?” he asked to shake his mind free of the nagging thought.

“I’ll bring ’em on over. When ya wantin’ ’em?” asked Wallis—but he was still smiling to himself.

Donnigan could hardly wait to leave, but he replied as evenly as he could, “I don’t have a pen and farrowing sheds ready. I can work on them tomorrow. Should have them ready in a day or two.”

“Friday? Ya be ready by Friday?” asked Wallis.

Donnigan nodded. He should be ready by Friday for sure.

“I’ll bring ’em over on Friday, then. Seeing I can get into town tomorrow and take care of everything—I won’t need to go Friday.”

Donnigan had never seen the man so excited.

“Just think of it,” Wallis said as he carefully recounted his money. “The ship will have her over here this fall. Fact is, it leaves next week, if I remember rightly.”

“Do you—do you have any idea—who it is that you’re—you’re getting?” Donnigan didn’t know if he had worded his question right, but he could tell Wallis wanted to talk about his plans.

“Sure do,” said Wallis with another wide grin. “Sure do. Got her name and all the particulars right here.”

He pulled a worn piece of folded paper from his shirt pocket and spread it out on the table.

“Name is Risa. Pretty name, don’t ya think? Risa—can’t say this next name.”

For one moment Donnigan wondered how the man who could not read even knew that the name was Risa. Though perhaps he had been practicing the single name after being told what it was.

Wallis passed the paper to Donnigan. “See fer yerself,” he said.

Donnigan turned his eyes to the sheet. Her name was Risa, all right. It gave her last name too, but Wallis had been right. It was a difficult one to figure. Donnigan made no attempt to pronounce it.

“Tall—five feet six inches. Blond hair, blue eyes. Pleasant disposition. Likes children. Good housekeeper. Excellent cook. Good seamstress. Likes to garden. Likes animals.” The description ended, and as Donnigan read the last words he lifted his eyes to the shining face of the man before him.

“Pretty good, huh?” Wallis prompted.

Donnigan could only nod. She sounded too good to be true. Perhaps, he found himself thinking, perhaps she was too good to be true. Maybe all the descriptions of the new wives-to-be said the same positive things.

But Donnigan did not voice his questions. He did not want to dampen the spirits of the other man.

“Sounds real good,” he said again, folding the paper and passing it back to Wallis.

Wallis was still smiling.

Donnigan cast one look of apprehension around the untidy small cabin. Risa sure had her work cut out for her. He shook his head and started for the door.

“See you Friday,” he tossed over his shoulder.

He was about to step through the door when Wallis called out to him. He turned. The older man moved across the cabin floor and joined him in a few quick strides. “Iffen—” he began. “Iffen you’d like to get yer name on thet there list—I’d be glad to help ya out some iffen yer cash-short just now.”

The words surprised Donnigan. Wallis had just sold him two sows to pay for his own “purchase,” and here he was offering to help his neighbor so he wouldn’t be left out.

“Thanks. Thanks, Wallis,” he managed to stammer. “I think I could handle the passage money if—”

“Then ya really outta be thinkin’ on it,” said the other man. “Fella don’t get hisself a chance like this every day.”

Donnigan nodded and moved out the door.

* * *

He unsaddled his mount and gave him a good rubdown, made sure the trough had plenty of water, and measured out the oats before he turned to the house to fix his own supper.

He had never enjoyed the cooking chores at the best of times, but tonight they rankled him more than ever. He rattled pans and stomped around the kitchen. The fire was out and he was in no mood to rebuild it. He ended up eating some dry biscuits and cold beans. It all tasted like sawdust in his mouth.

He lit the lamp and picked up an old paper that lay on the floor by his chair. He wished he had remembered to purchase a more up-to-date version while in town, but he hadn’t even thought of it. He’d already read this one over and over. There was nothing new or appealing on the inked pages. He ended up tossing it into the corner in exasperation.

He took a brief walk around the farm, hoping that the time under the clear sky and evening stars would help to settle him down.

It didn’t work. The fact was, the more he thought about it, the more he realized how lonely his life had become. Maybe the other men were right. Maybe there was nothing wrong with getting a bride in such a fashion. Was it really that different from picking one out and going about trying to convince her that you were the man for her? Could you really know what people were like until you lived with them? Weren’t even courted women full of little surprises—some good, some maybe not so good?

Donnigan went to his bed. He tossed and turned and fretted and stewed. It was almost morning before he swallowed his pride and made his resolve. Come daylight he would saddle Black and head for town. He would draw out the passage money, sign his name to the proper papers, and wait for the late September ship to arrive.

Chapter Five

No Turning Back


Kathleen stood on the deck of the Barreth Lily and watched the land she’d called home for more than a dozen years slip from her view. She had thought that she would be glad to see the last of it, but she was not. Her emotions were in turmoil, and her whole being yearned to slip from the ship and return to what she knew. Even though she had not been happy with her situation, it was all she had ever known.

But as Kathleen watched the shoreline fade into the morning mist, she went over for the umpteenth time the events of the last few days.

The baker, whom she had viewed as always angry and upset and berating her for not hurrying faster, selling more rolls and pies, being too frail to carry the proper-sized load, had suddenly become snivelling. “If it’s more pennies ya be wantin’, stay and I’ll raise your take,” he had declared, shocking Kathleen with his pronouncement.

She just shook her head slowly. “The arrangements are all made,” she said firmly. “I can’t change my mind now.”

And Madam, whom Kathleen had expected to be relieved that the girl would no longer be her concern, had ranted and raved. It was apparent that the woman had really expected her stepdaughter to concede to being a member of the house staff at the new country home.

“What am I to do?” Madam had kept wailing. “Not one staff member of my own to bring to the marriage. How do I know if the others will properly receive me? How do I know if they will carry out my orders the way I wish?”

Then she had turned on Kathleen.

“You are most ungrateful,” she had accused, the tears welling in her eyes. “After all these years of giving you a home and shelter—and you reward me in this fashion. How could you? You—you are a most—most unreasonable, unworthy wench!” She had spat out the last words, seeming to strain to find something bad enough to say about the slight girl who stood trembling before her.

Only Bridget had been genuinely sad to see Kathleen leave her. “I shall miss you dreadfully,” she had said through unchecked tears.

“And I you,” replied Kathleen, holding the young girl close. And Kathleen’s tears had trickled down her face and fallen in the younger girl’s tumbling hair.

“You will write?” Bridget had begged.

“As soon as I have an address to send you,” Kathleen had promised.

Bridget had pulled back and studied Kathleen’s face, the shock showing in her own. “You mean you don’t even know where you are going?” she asked in a whisper.

Kathleen had shaken her head. “I signed up too late,” she confessed. “There was no time to—to be matched—with an American. But Mr. Jenks said not to worry. He will make all those arrangements once we arrive.”

Bridget’s face had still reflected astonishment as Kathleen pulled her close one last time and patted her shoulder.

“Sure now, and take care of yourself,” Kathleen had managed, her accent heavy with her concern.

Bridget had managed to nod her head as she wiped at tears and then whispered conspiratorially, “When I get a bit older, I’m coming to America too.”

Kathleen had stepped back and looked at her sister.

“I am!” Bridget had declared vehemently.

Kathleen had given Bridget one more hug. “I’ll be waiting for you and that’s the truth of it,” she had whispered against the girl’s hair.

* * *

“There you are!”

It was Erma who interrupted Kathleen’s thoughts. Reluctantly she turned from the rail to attempt a smile for her newfound friend.

“Are you still watching jolly ol’ England?” asked Erma, teasing in her voice.

Kathleen shook her head. “There is nothing to see now but fog,” she replied and had a hard time trying to disguise the tremor in her voice.

“Come. We are having a party,” invited Erma.

“A party? What—”

“A celebration really. We have all gathered in a small room down below, and Mr. Jenks is serving wine and cheese.”

Kathleen felt that she would rather stay where she was, the salty sea wind flecking her cheeks and tugging at her hair, but reluctantly she followed the other girl.

She had been more than pleased when they had gathered for boarding to find Peg and the robust Erma chatting and giggling in their excitement over the new venture on which they were about to embark. She and Erma seemed to respond to each other immediately, and Kathleen was glad to discover that she was to share a cabin with Peg, Erma, and two other girls by the names of Nona Paulsen and Beatrice Little.

It was crowded, for sure, but Kathleen was glad for the companionship, at least until she made some adjustments to leaving behind everything that was familiar.

Now she allowed Erma to take her hand and lead her hurriedly along the ship’s polished, slippery planks. They went down a short flight of steps, took a turn down a narrow hallway, a right into another hall, a few more steps, another hall, up five steps, and again a right. Kathleen was beginning to feel dizzy.