Kate Hoffmann - A Fare To Remember

She waited until they were seated at the Italian restaurant he’d picked for tonight and each of them had a glass of Chianti. “Remember when I said that you shouldn’t work for a guy like Medford anymore?”

“I remember, and I’ve been giving it more thought.”

“Don’t.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Why not? He hasn’t reformed in the past twenty-four hours. He might even be worse. Every time he walks past Ed’s cubby in the outer office, he makes a sarcastic remark.”

“Maybe Ed needs to take care of that. Hitting the pavement this afternoon gave me a dose of reality. I still expect to get hired, and I hope on my terms. But you have a job, and you should look around a little, put out some feelers, before you jump ship.”

He gazed at her over the rim of his wineglass, a tender smile warming his expression. “I’ll take that under advisement. But for now, let’s drink to your success.”

“I’d like that.” As their glasses touched, she couldn’t find it in her heart to be angry with Mario. Without his meddling, she’d have no one to share her job search…or her roomy suite.

She’d created quite a welcome for Zach-the radio tuned to a jazz station with the volume down low, dabs of perfume on the lightbulbs and sprinkled on the sheets, her black nightie laid across the foot of the bed and two condoms on the pillow. She could hardly wait for him to see it.

HE WOULDN’T SLEEP WITH HER. About the time the waiter brought the dessert tray and they each decided against having any, Zach made a similar decision about having sex with Hannah. And he’d even brought condoms because he’d thought he might get an invitation to her room tonight.

The truth was, he plain didn’t deserve it. Here she was struggling to establish herself, and he wasn’t man enough to talk with Ed and get her the contact that would make all the difference. He must have subconsciously hoped she’d find a job this afternoon on her own.

But she hadn’t, and Zach had a bad feeling that she wouldn’t find one easily. How long before her sunny outlook dimmed and she decided to head back to Arizona? Zach could change all that. Ed’s client would be perfect-a vice president at a major company that edited a huge fiction list.

Zach even knew that Ed would be happy to help. He was that kind of guy. But Zach’s conscience wouldn’t allow him to ask for that help unless it included standing up to Medford on Ed’s behalf, and that would cause a showdown. Most people didn’t survive a showdown with Medford.

Then Zach might be the one pounding the pavement, and most likely without a glowing reference in his pocket. He thought about the years he’d spent getting a foothold here, the clients he’d have to leave and the very real possibility that he’d end up like his buddy, forced to go back to his old hometown.

Besides all that, what kind of relationship could he expect with Hannah if he was out of work? She might not be money-conscious like Adrienne, but he didn’t relish the idea of trying to keep a romance going while he scrambled to make ends meet. He had some savings, but not enough to last very long.

So unless he was prepared to be her knight in shining armor, unless he was willing to leave his job and take the consequences of that, he had no right to climb into her bed. From the way she was looking at him, she expected to end the night that way. She wouldn’t have bought the negligee and mentioned the amenities of her new room if she didn’t expect that.

Oh, God, how he wanted to. All through the meal he’d watched her with lust burning in his veins. He longed to comb his hands through her hair and kiss that beautiful mouth until they were both panting. He’d tried not to spend too much time focusing on the way her delicate turquoise-and-silver necklace dipped into her cleavage.

Maybe she intended for him to focus his attention there. She’d toyed with the necklace a few times, and he thought that might be deliberate. She was definitely flirting with him in other ways, too. Her laughter bubbled like champagne, and she found reasons to reach across the table and lightly touch his hand. Then there were the coy looks and the veiled sexual references.

He’d loved every minute of it. And hated that the evening wouldn’t go the way it should go. Mario had no idea what a pickle he’d put him in. Zach had no intention of telling him, either.

As they left the restaurant, Hannah took his hand. “Are you going to teach me how to whistle?”

“Sure.” That much he could do. They were approaching a vacant bus-stop bench. “Come over here and sit down. I can’t teach you while we’re walking.” And after he finished giving whistling instructions, he’d tell her, as gently as he could, that they wouldn’t be spending the night together.

He wasn’t sure yet how to say it so that she wouldn’t feel rejected. Giving her the real reason wouldn’t work. She’d already told him he should hang on to his job, so she’d refuse to let him jeopardize it for her. He didn’t think she’d understand that he couldn’t take her to bed without making that sacrifice. Women thought differently about such things.

They settled on the hard bench and he turned to face her so that their knees were touching. “To start with, you might have to use your fingers. That’s how I learned.”

“How old were you?”

“About ten.”

“Ten.” She groaned. “What if I’m too old to learn?”

“Nah. As long as you have a mouth, teeth and a tongue, you can learn.”

“I have all those things.”

Did she ever. He wondered if he’d be able to do this without kissing her and putting those components to a different use. “Okay, stick a finger in each corner of your mouth like this.”

She mimicked him.

It was so cute that he wanted to grab her right then and there. Somehow he restrained himself. “Then put your tongue behind your top teeth, like this.”

Nodding, she followed his lead.

“Now blow out.” He whistled softly through his teeth. He didn’t want either a cab or a passing woman to get the wrong idea.

She produced a little wheezing sound, but it wasn’t a whistle. “Rats. I’ll never catch a cab with that lame tootle.”

He steeled himself against the urge to kiss that adorable, nonwhistling mouth. “No, but that’s the idea. Just work with it. I had to practice quite a while before I made a real whistle.”

She tried again, and a little tweet came out. “There!” She beamed at him. “Now, that has promise. Come on, let’s go back to the hotel. I’ll practice as we walk along.”

He should follow through with his plan and tell her now that when they got to the hotel, he’d be saying good-night. But she looked so happy that he decided not to have that conversation yet. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say, anyway. Maybe he could think of something while she was practicing her whistle.

“All right.” He stood and took her hand. “Let’s go.”

HANNAH PRACTICED HER whistle on the walk back to the Pearson, but she had trouble concentrating as they drew closer. Now that the moment was almost here, she was nervous. Something seemed to be going on with Zach, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.

Partway through dinner his mood had changed. Until that moment she’d been sure that he was thinking the same way she was-that they should enjoy that suite together tonight. Now she wasn’t so sure.

But if she didn’t ask him to come up, she’d always wonder if they could have spent the night wrapped in each other’s arms. She hadn’t made it to New York by being a coward, so there was no point in starting to act like one now. She would ask him, and if he said no, she’d…well, she’d probably be devastated.

No, damn it, she wouldn’t be devastated! She would take it with a smile, figuring he was the one losing out. But if he said yes…oh, the glory of that! They would set the night on fire.

She didn’t want to have this scene right outside the front door of the hotel, so about half a block away she stopped walking and turned to him. Her heart was beating so fast that she was breathless. She paused to gulp some air. This was silly, being so nervous over such a simple thing. She wasn’t a virgin, for heaven’s sake.

Except this wasn’t a simple thing. She couldn’t shake the feeling that having sex with Zach would have vast repercussions. And although she wasn’t a virgin, she didn’t have a lot of experience with asking a man to share her bed. Usually the guy had been the one asking her.

Maybe Zach would still do that. She hesitated a moment to give him that chance. He must know she wanted him to.

He cleared his throat. “Hannah, I-”

“Of course. Of course you can come up.”

He looked stricken. “It would be better if I didn’t.”

Icy disappointment and humiliation slid over her. She wanted to and he didn’t. How awkward. “Of course. I…didn’t mean to…” She had no clue how to smooth this over.

And she wanted to know why he was rejecting her. Was it something stupid, like she’d accidentally chewed with her mouth open at dinner, or something important, like he’d discovered he couldn’t stand the sound of her voice?

“I know you must be confused,” he said gently.

She swallowed and made herself look into his eyes. “A little.”

He seemed miserable. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”

“Then why not?” She sounded desperate, and she hated that, but the words were out.

“Because…because I can’t be the man you need.”

She stared at him. “Then I need an overhaul on my ‘gaydar,’ because I’ve felt heterosexual vibes coming from you from the very start.”

“I’m not gay. Or impotent, or married, which might be the other conclusions you could draw from what I said. I just-God, this is complicated.” He blew out a breath and stared up at the lighted buildings surrounding them.

She launched into self-preservation mode. “Look, if there’s something about me you don’t like, that’s okay. You don’t have to explain. In fact, my ego would appreciate it if you’d keep that particular truth to yourself. I shouldn’t have asked for reasons. We’re not going to continue this little interlude, and that’s fine. Good night, Zach. Dinner was great.”

He caught her arm before she’d gone more than three feet. “Wait.”

She glanced back at him. “Let’s not make this any more awkward than it has to be, okay?”

“I don’t want you to leave thinking it has something to do with you.” He released his grip. “Hannah, you’re terrific. You’re gorgeous and sexy, and I would love to go to bed with you.”

“Then what’s the problem?” she said softly.

“It wouldn’t be right.”

“You have religious scruples?”

“No! I-you know what? You’re right. I’m only making this more awkward. Just believe me when I say I’d love to, but I can’t.”

“Okay.” She was still confused, but not quite so humiliated. She could see that he was tortured and thoroughly believed he wanted to come upstairs but couldn’t for some mysterious reason. “Well, if you should change your mind…just whistle.” Then she turned and headed for the Pearson’s front entrance.

She shouldn’t be surprised that she’d misread the situation with Zach. She’d landed in a new town, where there could be new rules, and she’d met the guy only yesterday. It seemed as if they’d known each other longer, but that was an illusion. Yes, they’d appeared to click, but something was gumming up the works.

Well, she’d enjoy that suite all by herself again tonight. She’d soak in the Jacuzzi and read one of the paperback thrillers she’d picked up on the way home from her interview. Then she’d get a good night’s sleep with plenty of room to spread out in that big bed. She didn’t need a guy to complete her, or make her happy, or any of that junk. In fact, she…hold on.

What was that noise? She strained to hear. Sure enough, interspersed with the sounds of traffic, came the unmistakable sound of a soft, low whistle.

She turned to find Zach walking toward her.

HALFWAY THERE, ZACH BROKE into a run. So did Hannah. They almost collided in their eagerness to reach each other without losing another second. Then they were laughing, hugging and kissing as if they hadn’t seen each other for weeks.

“I’m an idiot!” he said between kisses. “Can we start over?”

“I don’t know.” Smiling, she wound her arms around his neck and gazed up at him. “I like where we are right now.”

“Me, too, except it’s way too public.”

Her eyes sparkled. “I know somewhere a lot more private.”

“Then let’s go there.”

“No obstacles?”

“Not a one.” To think he’d almost let worry over a stupid job keep him from doing the right thing. Tomorrow he’d talk to Ed, and then to Medford. And he’d let the chips fall where they may. If he ended up jobless and that meant he and Hannah didn’t work out, that would be the breaks. But in the meantime…