“You never know in life,” he said quietly. “You have to be grateful for what you have, for as long as you have it. Fate is unpredictable, and sometimes we don’t know how blessed we are until things change.”

She nodded and looked at him sadly. “I knew how blessed we were, and so did my mother. We all did. I always felt lucky to have the parents and brother that I did. I just can’t believe they’re gone,” she said quietly, and as he looked at her, he gently put a hand over hers.

“Sometimes Fate ushers some people out, and when we least expect it, others enter. You just have to believe that things will continue to be good from now on. Your life is just beginning.”

She nodded again. “But for my mother, it’s over. I don’t think she’ll ever recover.” Annabelle worried about her a great deal.

“You don’t know that,” he said gently. “Good things can happen to her too.”

“I hope so,” Annabelle said softly, and thanked him for the meal. It had been a lovely evening. He helped her put the dishes in the sink, and then she turned to him with a smile, their friendship blossoming between them. “You’re a pretty good cook.”

“Wait until you taste my soufflés. I also make the stuffing at Thanksgiving,” he said proudly.

“How did you ever learn to cook?” She looked amused. None of the men in her family had ever cooked, she wasn’t even sure they knew how to find the kitchen.

He laughed in answer. “If you stay single as long as I have, you either starve or learn to feed yourself. Or go out every night, which gets exhausting. A lot of the time, I’d rather stay home and cook.”

“Me too, about the stay-at-home part. But I’m not much of a cook.”

“You don’t need to be,” he reminded her, and she looked momentarily embarrassed. She had been waited on all her life. But so had he.

“I should still learn one of these days. Maybe I will.” She had been impressed by how competent and organized he was in the kitchen.

“I can teach you a few tricks,” he volunteered, and she liked the idea.

“That sounds like fun,” she said, looking enthusiastic. She always had a good time with him.

“Just think of it as science, that will make it easier for you.” She laughed as she turned off the lights and he followed her back up the stairs. They went through two doors, and came back out in the main hall, under the chandelier. He was carrying his tailcoat, and his top hat and gloves were on the hall table. He picked them up, slipped into his tailcoat, and put the hat back on his head. He looked as elegant as ever, and no one would have suspected that he had cooked dinner.

“You look very dashing, Mr. Millbank. I had a wonderful time with you tonight.”

“Me too,” he said, and kissed her chastely on the cheek. He didn’t want to rush her, they had months still ahead of them as just friends, despite her mother’s blessing. “I’ll see you soon. Thank you for going to Hortie’s wedding with me, Annabelle. Those things can be deadly boring, unless you have someone fun to go with.”

“I think so too,” she agreed. “And the best part was talking about it in the kitchen afterward.” She giggled, and he smiled too.

“Goodnight, Annabelle,” he said, opening the door, and turned to look at her before he closed it behind him. She picked her jacket up off the chair, stuck her hat back on her head at a crazy angle, and walked up the stairs to her bedroom with a smile and an enormous yawn. She had had an excellent time, and was so glad that she and Josiah were friends.





Chapter 6




Much to Consuelo’s delight, at Annabelle’s urging, they invited Josiah to dinner on Christmas Eve. It wasn’t a romantic move on Annabelle’s part, she just felt that he had been so nice to them that they should do something for him in return, since he was alone for Christmas. As they always did, they had Christmas Eve dinner in white tie. Annabelle and her mother wore evening gowns, and as directed, Josiah arrived in a well-cut tailcoat with an immaculately starched shirt and vest, with beautiful old pearl and diamond studs and cuff links that had been his grandfather’s. And he touched them both by bringing presents.

Annabelle had bought a cashmere scarf for Josiah, and a cookbook partly as a joke, but he said he loved it. And Annabelle was embarrassed to discover that he had bought her a beautiful gold bracelet at Tiffany, and a handsome black silk scarf for her mother.

They shared a lovely, warm evening together, and sat in front of the fireplace after dinner. Josiah drank brandy, while the two ladies drank eggnog laced with rum, from a recipe Arthur had always made, and they admired the tree that Consuelo and Annabelle had decorated. It was a difficult Christmas for them that year, understandably, and Josiah avoided the topic of the current hearings that were in the news about the Titanic. He knew that whatever happened, they wouldn’t want to hear it. It would change nothing for them now.

Annabelle announced to them that Hortie had gotten back from their honeymoon that afternoon, and had rushed over to tell her she was already pregnant. Hortie was certain of it and said that she and James were thrilled, although she found the prospect a little scary. She had just barely become a wife, and now was going to be a mother, sometime in late August, as closely as she could figure it. Hortie said the baby had been conceived in Paris, and then she had giggled mysteriously, like the little girl she still was despite her new status, and made all kinds of innuendoes about their sex life that Annabelle didn’t want to hear. Hortie said that sex was fabulous, and James was incredible in bed, not that she had any frame of reference, but she had never had so much fun in all her life. Annabelle didn’t mention any of that to her mother or Josiah, but just said that Hortie was having a baby and was very excited about it. Listening to the news, Consuelo hoped that the following Christmas Annabelle and Josiah would have the same kind of news to share, providing they were married by then, which she hoped fervently they would be. Consuelo couldn’t see the point of a long engagement once they announced it.

Before he left that night Josiah said he was going skiing in Vermont over New Year’s with his old classmate, Henry Orson. As they were the last single men left at their age, according to him, he said it was nice to still have someone to do things with. Their New Year ski trip to Woodstock was a tradition they engaged in every year, and he was particularly looking forward to it this year, with a new ski jump recently added to the toboggan run. Josiah asked if Annabelle knew how to ski or snowshoe. She said she didn’t, but would love to learn. A veiled look passed between him and Consuelo, and he promised to teach her sometime. He suggested that maybe he, Annabelle, and her mother could take a trip to Vermont together. Annabelle’s eyes lit up, and she said it sounded like a lot of fun. He said they had wonderful sleigh rides in Woodstock too.

Josiah stayed till after midnight, and after he thanked them again for the presents and the delicious meal, Consuelo mysteriously disappeared while the two young people said goodnight. Annabelle thanked him profusely again for her bracelet, which she loved, and which was already on her arm.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said warmly. “I know you’re not supposed to wear jewelry right now, but if your mother objects, maybe you can wear it later.” He hadn’t wanted to offend Consuelo by giving Annabelle a bracelet while they were in mourning, but he had wanted to give her something that she’d enjoy for a long time. And he didn’t want to give her anything too lavish, or she might suspect what he had in mind. He thought the simple gold bracelet was discreet, and Annabelle was thrilled with it.

“Have a good time skiing,” she said as she walked him to the door. He was wearing an impeccably cut black coat and a white silk scarf over his tuxedo, with a homburg. As always, he looked extremely elegant. And Annabelle looked pretty and young in her simple black evening gown.

“I’ll call you when I get back,” he promised. “It will be after the first.” He kissed her chastely on the cheek, and she did the same, as they said good-bye.

Annabelle found her mother in the library, thumbing through a book. It was one of her father’s that Annabelle had read before.

“Why did you come in here?” Annabelle asked, looking surprised. Her mother wasn’t much of a reader, and she turned to her daughter with a gentle smile.

“I thought you and Josiah might like to be alone to say goodnight.” There was a deeper meaning in her eyes, and Annabelle looked momentarily annoyed.

“Josiah? Don’t be silly, Mama. We’re just friends. Don’t start getting ideas about him. It would spoil everything. I love the friendship that we have.”

“What if he wanted more?” Consuelo asked cryptically, and her daughter frowned.

“He doesn’t. And neither do I. We like it just the way it is. Just because Hortie got married and is having a baby doesn’t mean I have to. I can’t even go out for another four months. So I’m not going to meet anyone for a while, and who knows if I’ll ever meet someone I like and want to marry.” She sighed and put her arms around her mother. “Are you trying to get rid of me, Mama?” she asked gently.

“Of course not, I just want you to be happy. And nothing makes a woman happier than a husband and a child. Ask Hortie. I’ll bet she can’t wait to have that baby in her arms.”

“She sounds pretty happy,” Annabelle admitted with a shy smile. “She was trying to tell me all about her honeymoon. It sounds like they had a lovely time.” Mostly in bed, but she didn’t say that to her mother, she didn’t even want to know it herself.

“When is the baby due?”

“End of August, I think. She’s not sure. She says it happened in Paris, and James is thrilled too. He wants a boy.”

“All men do. But the ones they fall in love with are their girls. Your father did the minute he saw you.” They both smiled at the memory. It had been a hard Christmas Eve for both of them, but having Josiah there had helped. Everything was easier and more pleasant when he was around.

Arm in arm, they walked up the stairs to their rooms, and they exchanged presents the next day. Her mother had bought her a magnificent fur coat, and Annabelle had gotten her mother a pair of sapphire earrings at Cartier. She had tried to get her the kind of gift her father would have given her, on a slightly more modest scale. He always bought wonderful gifts for all of them. And she wanted to somehow make it up to her mother this year, although she knew that she couldn’t make up for all that they had lost. But her mother was deeply touched by the gesture, and the beauty of her daughter’s gift, and put them on immediately.

They went downstairs together, and had a big breakfast cooked by Blanche. It had snowed during the night, and there was a blanket of white covering the garden. After breakfast, they dressed and went out for a walk in the park. It was going to be difficult for them to fill the day alone. They had lost half of their family, and on holidays like this, the absence of Arthur and Robert was sorely felt.

In the end, the day was less painful than they had feared. They had both dreaded it so much, and had tried to keep busy. Consuelo and Annabelle had lunch together, played cards that afternoon, and by dinnertime they were both tired, and ready for bed. They had gotten through it, that was the main thing, and as she undressed that night, Annabelle found herself thinking of Josiah in Vermont. She wondered if he and Henry had gotten there safely and were having fun. She would have loved to go skiing with them sometime, as he had suggested. It sounded like fun to her. And she hoped she got a chance to, maybe next year, if she could talk her mother into going.

The rest of the holiday was easier than Christmas. Annabelle spent some time with Hortie, and all her friend talked about now was the baby, just as she had talked about nothing but the wedding for six months before. She had little else on her mind or to keep her busy. Consuelo congratulated her when she saw her, and Hortie rattled on for half an hour about Paris, and all the clothes she’d bought, which very soon she would no longer be able to wear. She said they would still go to Newport that summer, and if she had the baby there, it was fine with her. She was going to have it at home anyway, in Newport or New York. Listening to her talk to Consuelo about it, Annabelle felt left out of the conversation. She had nothing to contribute. Hortie had turned into a married woman and mother overnight. But Annabelle still loved her friend, boring or not. Hortie had brought her a beautiful sweater from Paris, with pearl buttons. It was the palest pink, and Annabelle couldn’t wait to wear it that summer.