Molly Ryan - A Real Disaster

I rolled my eyes.

“Oh don’t give me that ‘I’m so offended’ look. I’m not being mean and I don’t hate you.”

I smiled out the side of my mouth while Nash pulled into a parking lot and grabbed the first spot he saw.

“Where are we?”

“A small diner about three miles off campus. Most people don’t know about this place which makes it great because it’s not crowded. You can get a seat almost immediately.”

“Have you been here before?”

Nash nodded and I bit my lower lip.

“Have you been here with… Other girls?”

He paused and looked me straight in the eye.

“One,” he admitted. “My sister. It was when we were younger, right after her prom. She had just broken up with her boyfriend for trying to force himself on her.”

Sister? She went through something similar to me.

“Oh my god Nash.”

“My mother had already died so I was all she had since she didn’t want to tell our dad.”

I was about to say something but he stopped me with a kiss on my lips.

“Let’s go inside.”

We both got out of the car. Nash held the door open for me and I stepped through right to the podium. Like he said they do, the waitress seated us immediately and handed us menus. She took our drink order and sashayed away. Once she was gone, Nash continued.

 “I picked her up from her after prom party and we came here, I think it was five in the morning. She had her dress on and I came directly from the after party of my gig.”

“Oh,” I said.

I looked at the menu, pretending to be really intrigued at the options, when in reality my mind was going off in all different directions. I was upset. I didn’t like to hear that anyone had to go through that.

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” I lied.

How was I supposed to tell Nash what was going on in my head? How do I explain to him how I went through something similar.

“I need coffee is all.”

“Well, good thing that the waitress is bringing us two huge cups of it. Do you want to split something or have something yourself?”

“Either is fine. Want to get a stack of pancakes and split that?”

“Sure.”

* * *

“Thanks for breakfast,” I said as Nash brought me to my dorm room door. “I would invite you in but honestly I wouldn’t be any fun. I need sleep… Lots of sleep.”

“Me too.”

Especially since my test was that afternoon.

“Maybe we can meet up in a couple nights for something? I have another show… Want to come?”

My heart was pumping and butterflies were in my stomach. It was the first time that Nash actually invited me to one of his shows. The other time I just told him I was going.

“If you really want me to.”

 “Hell yeah. How else am I supposed to show off my hot girlfriend?”

Hot?

Girlfriend?

I resisted the urge to jump up and clap my hands.

“Well then I guess I need to come.”

I tried to keep my voice calm, my words sounding nonchalant. Nash was smirking, almost expecting me to overreact.

Nash pulled me close, nuzzling my neck.

By the time I got to the bar Nash was playing at, I could already smell the alcohol. People were meshed together, taking up every nook and cranny available. The air was thick with smoke and I coughed into my hand, my lungs begging for fresh air.

Why did Nash choose here?

I forced my way through the throng of people. Guys were holding drinks while the women stepped close to them, intertwining their legs together. There was more skin than clothes and I averted my eyes from one girl whose nipples were seen through her fitted t-shirt.

She was probably hoping that they would get wet and she’d get laid that night.

I was about to turn around and leave the bar. As I went to leave, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking behind me I saw Nash’s smile.

God he was hot.

“Hey there beautiful,” he said.

I wasn’t sure whether the alcohol that I was smelling was on his breath or if it was just in the room. He didn’t look drunk, but Nash was also fully capable of holding his alcohol longer than most after seeing him drink a few times. Who knew how many beers he already had.

“Hey, interesting place.”

I kept my voice light.

“I know, it looks like a dump, but it’s pretty great. The food’s amazing and there is a fully stocked bar.”

And of course, that’s the highlight of the evening.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I side stepped just in time as a fight broke out and someone went flying onto a table three feet away. The table broke and there was blood but everyone began clapping. Clearly they were too drunk to figure out what was going on, let alone care about it.

“So, when do you go on?”

“In a couple of minutes. I’m really glad you came. It means a lot to me.”

He kissed me on the lips and wrapped his arm around my waist. Any negative thoughts began to drift away as I stood there in Nash’s embrace.

“Do you want me to get you a drink?” he offered. “I hear that the margaritas are great.”

“Sure, but get me whatever you’re having.”

“Are you sure? The last time you drank you kind of ended up wasted.”

“I’m sure Nash.”

“Okay then.”

He disappeared into the crowd. People around me were locking lips in every corner.

A few minutes later Nash made his way back to me.

“Here you are,” Nash said as he returned with drinks.

Snapping my head back, I took the drink from Nash and downed half of it at the start.

“Thanks,” I said when I finally came up for air.

“You’re welcome… Someone was fucking thirsty,” Nash said, shaking his head with a bewildered smile on his face.

“Damn right!”

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised. “If you want another drink just drop my name. I started a tab.”

I nodded and watched him get sucked up by the crowd yet again until he appeared on the stage, a guitar around his neck. He adjusted the microphone and then searched the place. Was he looking for me or someone else? Who else would he be looking for? I thought he wanted to show me off. Why would he say that if he was planning on finding someone else while he was here?

Maybe I was being paranoid.

The alcohol was getting to my head but I didn’t stop drinking. I did, however, slow down, nursing it.

“Hey there everyone!” Nash shouted into the microphone. “Are you having a good night?”

He was answered by drunken cheers from the audience.

“All right, well I’m Nash and this is The Renegation! Are you ready to hear some great music?!”

More cheers came from the audience and I found myself clapping along.

“Lily, this one is for you.”

My eyes widened as someone shone a spotlight on me and heads turned, staring at me. I gave Nash an embarrassed wave as he strummed his guitar.

Leaning up against a pole, I listened as Nash dove into a rendition of Brown Eyed Girl. His eyes didn’t leave me through the whole song and I felt a lump in my throat. This was why he wanted me there. I swiped at the tears that trickled down my cheeks. The song ended and Nash continued, starting his own songs. I took the chance I had and, after finishing my drink, slipped through the door to the cold night. Bundling my jacket close to me, I sat on the stone steps and stared at the starlit sky.

How did I get so lucky?

There I was, the good girl, getting the bad boy’s heart. How did something like that even happen? It was like I took a page out of some young adult novel. I was almost waiting to wake up and realize that this was all just a dream. A girl like me didn’t get a guy like him…

Ever.

So how did it happen?

“Excuse me.”

I looked up to see a red headed woman standing in front of me. She wore a long green pea coat and had a beret on her head, also green. She wore knee high boots and I could see the faint line of a pencil skirt under her jacket.

“I don’t mean to bother you but I was wondering if The Renegation is playing tonight?”

“Yeah, they are. They’re actually in the middle of a song right now. They just started.”

“Thanks,” she said.

I scooted over to let the girl through and felt a gust of heat hit my back as she went inside.

Well she wasn’t the person I would imagine going to see Nash’s band.

Then I laughed.

I wasn’t the type of person to listen to Nash’s band either and yet there I was.

Following the girl’s lead, I stood up on unsteady feet, and wobbled my way back inside. I stayed in the back and out of the way, not wanting to bring any more attention to myself. Grabbing another drink, I settled down and listened to my boyfriend’s band play their hearts out.

Another hour later, the music finally stopped and the band stepped off the stage. The set was over and they were congregating around the bar, passing out congratulatory drinks. The red head was also at the bar and she was nursing some pink drink, talking to Nash.

Furrowing my brow, I tried to think whether or not Nash mentioned he had a friend coming. She looked familiar but I couldn’t place her. Had I met her before? Did she go to school with me? Nash looked up and caught my eye. He smiled, said something to the redhead, and weaved his way over to me.

“Hey there sexy, what did you think?”

“You were amazing,..”

“Thanks.”

“Thanks for the dedication,” I added shyly.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him again but I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t need a repeat of the other day.

“No problem…”

“Who’s that?” I asked, motioning my head in the direction of the redhead.

I couldn’t help but ask.

“A fan,” he said, but something told me that there was more to the story than he was leading on.

“Have I met her before? She looks familiar.”

“I don’t think so.”

He dropped his eyes and started to play with his cup. Something was definitely going on.

“Does she go to our school? Maybe I have a class with her.”

“She’s just a fan Lily,” Nash said with a laugh.

“But I think I recognize her.”

“Maybe she just has one of those faces, you know? The type of face that you swear you know even though you don’t.”

“I guess,” I said, even though I wasn’t convinced.

Maybe I didn’t know her but Nash did and he wasn’t telling me how. I resisted the urge to press him about the situation. I didn’t want to start a fight on such a great night so I kept my mouth shut and smiled.

“How about we get out of here?”

“That’s the greatest plan you had yet,” I told him winking. “Back to your place?”

“Perfect.”

* * *

“Hey!” Nash cried as I rolled over, taking the blankets with me. “I’m cold over here too, you know.”

“Shut up,” I mumbled. “I need to sleep. Sleep is good.”

I snuggled deeper in the pillows. There was a rustling of sheets, a cold breeze, and then I felt Nash’s hard, warm body next to me. He draped an arm over my waist, his hand cupping my breast lazily.

“You smell so good,” he murmured in my hair.

“I’ve been sleeping, how can I smell good?” I asked as I slit my eyes open.

“Because you do,” he said. “You always smell good, Lily.”

Nash kissed my shoulder and I smiled. Through the slits of my eyes I could see the sun rising, coloring the sky in reds and pinks.

“I love you.”

My eyes whipped open.

“What?” I asked.

“I love you,” he said again, moving his hand down to my hip.

My heart drummed against my ribs and I was sure that Nash could feel it. I was speechless. I lied there shocked for a while but finally found the courage to speak.

“Nash?”

It was too late. Instead of an answer, I heard the sound of Nash’s soft snoring; he fell back asleep.

I love you.

He said the three words that I was desperate to hear. But did he mean it? Maybe in his drowsy state Nash said it. Who knew what would happen when he woke up.

He was probably still drunk.

I could only hope not.

* * *

I hunched over a table at the school’s library, reading over my history paper and making corrections as I went. My head pounded and my stomach turned from being hung over.