A woman was standing on a crate just outside the elephant enclosure, and a crowd had gathered around her in a semicircle as she spouted off facts. We all gathered close and Sarah’s body was in front of mine. I stepped up beside her, Derek on her left and Donna on my right. A fucking love triangle.

I didn’t take in anything that the woman said as I relived the night before over and over in my head. I felt Sarah’s eyes on me and I suppressed a smile. Her eyes went forward and the back of her hand brushed against mine. I looped my pinkie in hers and tried my damnedest to focus ahead. I knew it was wrong and I would only end up hurting her, but I couldn’t resist. If she was smart, she would pull away, but she didn’t and I knew she was feeling the electricity that shot between us where our bodies connected. If anyone saw us, there would be no stopping the fight that would ensue, but I didn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t see anything but Sarah anymore.

I couldn’t get enough of her. Every touch, every glance, was a high that I never wanted to come down from. My fingers brushed along her hip as we watched the macaws flap their wings and spout random phrases. Her chest brushed against my back as we looked in at the Galápagos tortoises. Her eyes locked onto my lips as we stood in front of the giraffe enclosure, and I closed my eyes as I pictured her body straddling mine as her sweet breath blew over my mouth. I opened my eyes and her chest was rising and falling quickly as her tongue ran over her lower lip. She was thinking the same thing I was. I was dying to get her alone, even for a second, so I could touch her. When we stood in front of the lion exhibit, I finally saw my chance.

“You want to ride the train?” I asked Donna, glancing over her shoulder to Sarah.

“Yeah, sounds fun.” Donna smiled and I put my arm around her waist as we walked toward the small station. I leaned over the railing as we waited for the next ride, hating where my head was going. I didn’t want to share Sarah, I didn’t want to be her second choice, but my body wouldn’t let me say no to her. The heartbreak I was going to suffer from this would kill me, but I welcomed death if I got to spend even another minute alone with Sarah.

The train pulled under the small wooden roof and we all filed into our seats. I walked by Sarah and Derek, my eyes on the ground as I guided Donna into the row directly behind them.

We pulled out and Sarah’s hair blew back toward me, the smell of her fruity shampoo in the air. I stared out the side as we wound our way around the zoo and finally came up on the tunnel that ran behind the lion cages. My heart pounded in my chest as I watched the engine disappear into the blackness. As soon as our car was in the dark I leaned forward, sliding my hand along Sarah’s neck and turning her head so I could press my mouth against her cheek. Her quiet gasp was swallowed by the echoing of the train engine off the tunnel walls.

Even with everyone else around us, it felt as if we were in our own private world. My fingers slid down over her throat before I shoved myself back against my seat and we were thrust into daylight once again. I could still feel the rhythm of her heartbeat in my fingertips, like a beat to a song that was only ours.

There was no more fighting it. I wanted her more than I wanted my next breath, and I couldn’t stay away even if it slowly killed me inside. It was worth the pain to be able to be close to her.

I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face for the rest of our time at the zoo. When we finally left and decided to go out to get dinner, I was even making small talk with Derek, even though it turned my stomach to see him sitting next to her. I understood why he would want me to stay away. She was irresistible and he never deserved her. No one did.

I pressed my foot against hers as I sat across from her at the table, craving to be closer to her. Derek rambled on and on about my missing out at the strip club last night, and I couldn’t help but shake my head. Not only was he pissing off Sarah, but he couldn’t imagine how great a time I had without them. My feelings were tearing me in two—my heart went out to Sarah, but selfishly I relished every second that Derek was digging himself deeper into a hole.

I dipped a fry in mayonnaise and shoved it in my mouth as I absentmindedly began to hum the song we were making together last night. I tried not to be affected by her knowing smile but my heart stuttered.

“I like that,” Donna said as she stole one of my fries. “That a new song?”

I shook my head and took a drink of my soda. “Just something stuck in my head.” I glanced up as I grabbed another fry.

“Who is looking for a little fun tonight?” Terry asked as he rubbed his hands together. The women collectively groaned in disgust and I laughed. “That’s not what I meant.” He shook his head as we all waited for him to elaborate. “Beatfest is tonight and it is only about an hour from here. I have been looking forward to this all week.”

“This is going to be epic.” Tucker crumbled up his napkin and tossed it on his plate.

Cass shrugged as her eyes wandered around the table.

“I’m up for it,” I added as I finished my burger, and Sarah’s foot moved against mine.

“I’ll hook up transportation. Donna, you think we could get a limo on this short notice?” Tuck asked as the waitress came over and dropped off the check.

“It shouldn’t be that hard,” Donna spoke up.

“That’s what she said!” Cass laughed, and I tossed a fry at her and shook my head.

Chapter Twenty-Four

SARAH

WE RUSHED BACK to the hotel so we could get ready for the festival. I was excited to dress up in some of my concert gear, which I’d had packed away for days. I pulled on a black minidress with strappy sandals, knowing that heels would kill me in the field all night.

It was still hot so I didn’t pile on the makeup and just used a little mascara. It was easier to hide behind a gallon of eyeliner and shadow, but I knew E could see through it all anyway.

Before pulling on a black T-shirt that matched his jeans, Derek eyed me up and down. “You look hot.”

“Thanks.” I ran my fingers through my hair as I watched him put on his leather wrist cuffs. “You want me to let everyone know we’re ready?”

He nodded as he searched for his black boots.

I tried not to look too eager as I hurried from the room and made my way to E’s door. I knocked quickly as I stared down the hall to make sure Derek hadn’t come out.

As soon as E answered, his arm looped around my waist and pulled me in and against his body as I melted into him.

“We can’t do this,” I panted as my eyes fell closed. It was too painful to look at his perfect face and tell him no.

“Friends hug,” he whispered into my ear, and I shivered. But by now, we were in too deep. We both knew it was more.

He pulled back to look me in the eye before he pressed his lips to my forehead and nodded. We slipped into the hall and I sighed with relief that no one had come out of his or her room yet.

I went to Donna’s door and E went to the twins’. We smiled stupidly at each other as we waited for them to answer. Derek came out and snuck up behind me, pressing himself against my back. E’s face went hard and he turned to look ahead. Thankfully, the twins answered and he went inside their room. Donna called out that she was coming, and a few seconds later her door popped open as she fastened an earring in her ear.

“You look great.” She smiled at me approvingly.

“Thanks. You, too,” I said, looking over her jean skirt and off-the-shoulder black blouse.

“Can we talk?”

“About?” I had the sudden urge to flee the room. The last person I wanted to have a talk with was the girlfriend of the guy I was secretly falling for.

“I know you and E are close, and I am probably the last person you want bringing this up to you, but it is no secret that he cares about you.”

“We are just friends.” Saying that out loud was physically painful, but I wasn’t about to lay all of my secrets on the table for E’s girlfriend.

She studied me for a minute and sighed loudly. “He’s a good guy that I care about a lot. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

That was the last thing I wanted as well. The thought of hurting E or Derek killed me inside, and I knew it was inevitable. If now Donna was bringing it up, I knew I would soon have to decide what I was going to do.

She held my gaze for another moment before glancing away as the guys approached. “Tuck just called. He got us a limo for the event. Tickets are waiting at the gate.” She slipped on one of her sandals, trying to balance on one foot.

E slipped in beside us and I didn’t miss the brush of his fingers along my hip. He stood next to Donna, letting her hold his arm while she slid on her other shoe.

“This should be fun,” I said, trying to sound cheery.


I WASN’T A fan of long car rides, but if I had to choose, I would ride in a limo everywhere I go. We toasted to friendship, to music, and to every other excuse we could find to have another drink. Forty-five minutes in, the music was blaring and the guys were drunkenly singing along.

I forced myself not to stare at E when his voice reminded me of his singing with me last night.

I closed my eyes and blocked out all of the other voices so I could focus only on him.

“You all right?” Derek bumped his shoulder against mine, and the pain from my bruise caused my eyes to shoot open.

E leaned forward as if he wanted to say or do something to comfort me, but his body froze as Derek’s arm went around me.

“What’s wrong?” Derek pressed his forehead against mine and I shrugged, hating myself for making E watch this.

“We’re here,” Chris yelled, and everyone cheered. Everyone except E and me. His eyes just focused on the glass in his hand.

We filed out of the car and made our way to the ticket office set up on the corner of the field where we needed to pick up our tickets. The ground was soft from recent rain, and I frowned as I thought about ruining my shoes. I glanced up at the sky, which was covered in feathery, white clouds, but it didn’t look as if rain was a threat today. The place was chaos as fans swarmed the gates and heavy rock music played in the distance. Women wore next to nothing or were drowning in tie-dye T-shirts. The crowd was incredibly diverse given that some of the bands were older and from a time when rock had a political message, and other bands were just starting out and their focus had more of a darker tone.

The smell of fried food intermingled with pot filled the air, and I briefly wondered if the promoters looked the other way at people’s smoking marijuana, just to sell more food. Groupies clung to anyone who was covered in tats, and a few feet away someone was strumming a guitar as a group of people, sitting in a circle around him, sang along. It reminded me of when I went to vacation Bible school when I was nine and we all sang hymns as the pastor played the guitar. Even then, I enjoyed it so much I wanted to go to church every day just so I could sing. Funny how life changes in the blink of an eye.

I got lost in thought as I watched a woman spinning slowly, her arms out to her sides and face to the sky. She was smiling as she danced in her bare feet to a rhythm of her own. The crowd grew louder to my left, pulling me from my thoughts. An old school bus hand-painted with messages of peace and love had just emptied out, and its passengers were making their way toward the gates. They smelled like stale beer and sweat. Luckily, we were escorted through a private entrance after Donna spoke to someone in charge.

The swarm of people was unbelievable, and we had to fight our way to get anywhere, but the crowd was mostly peaceful because the sun had yet to set. As they say, the freaks come out at night. This was especially true in the rock-and-roll world. Something about the music just made people go wild. Trash already littered the ground, and in typical rock-and-roll fashion, a few arguments had already broken out, and several women were already in various stages of undress as onlookers shot pictures with their cell phones. I shook my head as we walked around them. I could never live without music, but the partying that went hand in hand with it wasn’t really my scene.

Long Neck was onstage singing a soulful ballad from the seventies titled “Missing My Misses,” so we weren’t in any danger of getting hurt from a mosh pit. Although I had no doubt that it would all change after the sun set.