Ronnie hesitated, then nodded in agreement. “I was out at Sam’s…”



* * *

“There you go sweetie,” Rose said as she put the plate of canned food down for Tabitha. She threw the empty can in the trash just as there was a knock on the door. “Who is it?”


“Susan Cartwright.”


“Um…” Rose looked out the peephole, verifying that the redhead was alone. “I’m not really in the mood for company right now,” she said softly.


“Rose, it really is rude to leave someone standing outside the door.”


“But…” Reluctantly she undid the chain and bolt. She opened the door. “Susan, if this is about Ronnie…”


“Of course it’s about Ronnie,” the redhead said as she entered the room. “My sister is heartbroken and you won’t even give her the chance to explain. Hello, Tabitha.”


“Mrrow.”


“There is nothing really left to say, is there?”


“You tell me.” Susan sat down on one bed and motioned for the young woman to sit on the other.


“She lied to me.”


“Yes she did…about the accident. Not about how she feels for you. There’s a difference.”


“How can anything built on a lie be real?” Rose stood up and limped over to the tiny cube refrigerator to get some bottled water.


“Again, she lied about the accident. Everything else was real, Rose. Her feelings for you are real and you have to know that.”


“I know she feels something,” the young woman responded after she returned to her seat.


“If you could see her, you’d know that she feels more than something.” She reached out and took Rose’s hand. “Listen to me. We’re talking about my sister here. I know her. She’s not one to take people’s feelings lightly, especially her own.” Susan let go and looked down. “Rose, this is killing her. She’s not eating, she’s not sleeping, nothing matters to her now.”


“It hasn’t been a picnic for me either,” she confessed.


“Then why not go and talk to her? Come on, Rose. Think about it for a minute. If all she wanted to do was cover her tracks, then why did she stick around at the hospital? Why didn’t she just drop you off and let them worry about taking care of you?”


“I don’t know…maybe she felt guilty.”


“Tell me something Rose, when the two of you, you know…did it feel like guilt to you?”


“No, of course not.”


“Then why do you assume that everything she did came from guilt?” Susan smiled inwardly at the confused look on Rose’s face. “If she was just guilty, she wouldn’t have opened up her home to you. She wouldn’t have gone to the lengths she did to take care of you. Look, I know you’re hurting too but you have to look at the whole picture. Ronnie loves you.”


“How am I supposed to forgive her?” The young woman asked, her voice cracking with emotion.

“It’s been six months and I still can’t walk without pain. I have scars.”


“You see this?” Susan rolled her sleeve up to reveal a small white scar near her elbow. “Ronnie and I were fooling around on our bicycles and she wiped out causing me to fall. I broke my elbow and had to spend the summer in a cast. I still can’t extend that arm completely and I know whenever it’s going to rain now. Do you think I shouldn’t have forgiven her for that?”


“Of course not. It was an accident,” Rose said.


“Exactly. It was an accident when she caused me to fall off my bike and it was an accident when she hit you with her car.”


“It’s not the same, Susan.”


“Isn’t it? Tell me something, Rose. Do you think she meant to hit you with her car?”


“No.”


“Then it was an accident, right? Even if it was her fault it was still an accident.” She shifted on the bed, trying to find a spot where the springs weren’t trying to poke through the thin blanket.

“What do you remember about that night?”


“Not much,” Rose admitted. “I was trying to get home and some men started chasing me. I remember running through the park and then onto Madison. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital.”


Susan nodded, the events fitting with her sister’s description. “Did you run out from the corner or the middle of the street?”


“I think it was the middle. It was snowing, I don’t know.”


“Ronnie says she was going up Madison when you darted out from between some parked cars. She said there was no way for her stop in time.”


“Then why make up the story about coming up after the accident?”


“She had some wine at dinner and worried she would be arrested for drunk driving. Yes, she lied to cover herself but she made sure you were taken care of. She tried to do the responsible thing, Rose. You have to give her credit for that.”


“It was an accident,” the young woman whispered. “If she hadn’t been drinking…”


“She still would have been unable to avoid you. If you’re looking for someone to blame, blame the men who were chasing you.”


“But why didn’t she tell me the truth later?”


“What happened when you did find out the truth, Rose?”


The young woman looked at her lap. “I left her.”


“You never gave her a chance to explain, did you?” She reached out for the woman she considered her sister-in-law. “Rose, the accident wasn’t her fault. She may be guilty of bad judgment but not anything else. Do you love Ronnie?”


Lifting her head to show eyes glittering with unshed tears, Rose replied. “Yes.”


“Do you think that she would willingly hurt you?”


“No.”


“Then why are you punishing her for something she had no control over? Let me take you home, Rose.”



* * *

Ronnie was sitting on the couch, the pendant she had given Rose for Christmas in her hands. There had been no word from Susan and the executive feared her sister’s intervention would have no effect on Rose. Tears feel freely, dotting her hands with the salty drops. The sound of the sliding glass door opening drew her attention toward the kitchen. When she saw Susan enter the living room alone, Ronnie’s heart sank. She opened her mouth to speak but there was nothing to say. Rose was gone and she wasn’t coming back.


“Ronnie?”


“It’s all right, Susan. I know you tried your best.” She stared at the pendant. “Did she…say anything?”


“She said a lot of things, but maybe it would be better if you just asked her yourself.” It was then that the sliding glass door closed, alerting Ronnie that Susan was not alone.


“She’s here?” She stood up and quickly wiped at the tear streaks on her face. “Is she here?” She sprinted past her sister and into the kitchen without waiting for an answer.


Rose barely had time to set Tabitha on the floor before she found herself caught in Ronnie’s powerful arms. The cane clattered to the floor as the tall woman spun her round and round, hugging her tightly. “You’re…crushing…me.”


“Oh, I’m sorry.” Ronnie quickly set her lover down and retrieved the cane. “It’s just…well…”


“It’s all right,” Rose said, reaching out to take the larger hand in her own. She was surprised to see such a haggard expression on Ronnie’s face. She realized the separation had been just as hard on her lover as it was on her. “I missed you too.”


“Please don’t leave again,” Ronnie blurted. She had not meant to sound so desperate but the thought of not having the blonde woman in her life was too much to bear. “I’ll do anything…just don’t leave.”


“I can’t promise that,” Rose said sadly, turning away and leaning her hand against the counter. “I have questions, Ronnie. We need to talk.”


“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Susan piped in from her position in the archway between kitchen and living room. “Sis, get Rose’s suitcase from my car.”


Ronnie’s eyes never left her lover. “Sure…I’ll be right back, okay?”


“I’ll be here,” the young woman replied softly, giving a wan smile. The executive reluctantly opened the sliding glass door and stepped outside. Susan walked over and put her hand on Rose’s shoulder. “Are you going to be all right?”


“Yeah,” she nodded, turning to face the redhead. “Thanks.”


“Rose, I know she hurt you but don’t forget how easily you can hurt her too. Be gentle with my sister. She loves you very much.” When Ronnie returned, Susan said her good-byes and left.


Once alone, an awkward silence fell over the lovers. They stood in the kitchen lost in their own thoughts and fears. Tabitha padded into the room and spotted the unmarred black of Ronnie’s slacks. “Mrrow?” She rubbed up against her tall mistress and began purring.


“Hey there.” She bent down and picked up the happy cat. “How have you been? You been taking good care of Mommy?”


“She missed you, you know,” Rose said, moving a couple of steps closer. “She kept crying for you and looking at the door.” She looked down at the floor. “I kept crying too,” she added quietly. Ronnie set Tabitha down and closed the remaining distance between them just as Rose’s lip started to quiver. “It just felt like some kind of horrible nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.” Ronnie’s arms went around her just as the young woman collapsed into tears.


“Okay, Honey. I’ve got you.” She held Rose tight, fearing if she let go she would disappear. “Do you want to go sit on the couch and talk?”


“Sure,” the young woman sniffled. “If you want to.”


“Whatever you want to do, Rose. If you’d rather sit at the table…”


“No, the couch would be nice.” The motel room did not have a couch…well, not one that she had felt safe sitting on. Hands resting on each other’s backs, the couple walked into the living room. Rose took her usual cushion at the end while Ronnie hesitated, then sat down at the opposite end instead of the middle. To her surprise, the young woman scooted over to occupy the empty cushion. Ronnie took it as a good sign and rested her hand on Rose’s knee.


“I love you, Rose.”


“I know.” She took a deep breath and looked into the blue eyes that haunted her dreams. “And I love you too. I wouldn’t have come back if I didn’t.”


“I’m sorry about lying to you. I wish there was some way I could make it up.”


“Do something now?”


“Anything.”


“Tell me what really happened.”


“Rose, it’s in the past. Why can’t…” She was silenced by Rose’s finger on her lips.


“Because I need to know what happened,” she interrupted. “Please Ronnie. You owe me the truth.”


The executive nodded and swallowed. “It happened so fast.” She shook her head, the dark tresses waving with the movement. “It was just so quick.” Looking into gentle green eyes, she continued. “I never saw you, Rose. I was driving, thinking that I had just wasted the evening with a jerk and all of the sudden there you were. I hit the brakes but with the snow on the ground…” Her eyes closed briefly at the memory of the total silence that preceded the horrifying thud.

“There was nothing else I could do.” She looked away again, focusing on the grandfather clock.

“There was so much blood, Rose. I thought I killed you. When I realized I hadn’t, I put you in my car and drove you to the hospital as fast as I could.”


“Why did you stay around?” Ronnie felt a small but insistent hand on her chin, forcing her to meet Rose’s gaze. “You did your job, you got me to the hospital. You could have left and no one would ever have known. Why didn’t you leave?”


“I needed to make sure you were all right. When they didn’t think you had insurance, they wanted to ship you off to Memorial. I wanted to make sure you got the best care and that was at Albany Med so I lied about the insurance.”


“And you were stuck after that?”


“No. Maybe until I had you sign the papers,” Ronnie admitted. “But not after that.”


“Then why did you keep coming back?”


Ronnie gave the only answer she could, the honest one. “I wanted to see you. To get to know you better.”