Just like I know we can withstand this tornado we’re in the middle of. It won’t be the first. I sure as fuck hope it will be the last. Such optimism when I’m used to living by the hope for the best, expect the worst approach.

Who the fuck did this to us? And why?

Thoughts, theories, speculation. All three circle in my head and none of them make sense.

Rylee. My goddamn perfection in this whirlwind of chaos and bullshit. She is the only thing still crystal clear to me. My spark. My light.

My chest constricts. We’re introducing a baby into this mix.

That lick of panic that’s been on standby is dulled by the Jack, but it’s still there.

Still flickering.

Still telling me there’s no turning back.


I WAKE WITH A START. It’s more than just the baby resting on my bladder. It’s that sudden awareness when I reach out to find cold sheets, realizing Colton’s not beside me. And then before I can shift to see if he even came to bed, yesterday comes flooding back to me.