Well, that filled up a minute. Now what was she going to think about?

Well, there was Shane, having sex with a stripper. Of course he was a guy, and guys did tend to like strippers, but he also knew she was waiting for him back at the house, and Shane just did not strike her as the kind of guy who’d do that. Which was odd because ordinarily she was paranoid about that kind of thing and could work up a really good outrage, but Shane boinking a stripper a hundred yards from where she was waiting after he’d promised to come home to her?

Nah. Whatever he was doing, it wasn’t sex. Something energetic and violent, and she really didn’t want to think about where the stripper was now and what she’d done to deserve it. Maybe Taylor was hooking up with her in the afterlife. That was some comfort.

That killed another minute.

Which left her with the rest of her life.

Two Rivers was gone unless she could convince Maria that Palmer was not likely to put on a flamingo hat and screw a stripper. That was so self-evident that she was still having trouble understanding why Maria couldn’t see it-

“Why a meat fork?” the blonde said.

“Huh?” Agnes said.

“Why’d you do it with a meat fork?”

“I didn’t,” Agnes said. “As God is my witness, I did not kill him.”

“Okay, okay. What did you stab him with the first time?” Agnes sighed. “A meat fork.”

“Why a meat fork?”

“It was the first thing I grabbed. We’d had tenderloin and I’d just washed it and it was on the counter.”

“So it was just a coincidence that it was a meat fork this time, too?”

“No, somebody’s trying to frame me.”

“A lot of people knew about the first time, huh?”

“No,” Agnes said, and then stopped. “No, we kept that quiet. She must be planning on making that connection clear to the police herself, unless she already did. Huh. Wonder if she knows that’s going to backfire on her?” It wasn’t like Brenda to leave a loose end like that. Maybe she really was losing it. Beyond the craziness of murdering Taylor, maybe she was losing it completely.

“She who?”

“The woman who really did it.”

“Well, at least she killed him and not you.”

“She’s trying to kill me,” Agnes said. “It’s just not working out for her.” Which might be what was pushing her over the edge. If she was furious at Agnes for taking LL from her, if she was rabidly determined to get Two Rivers back, if she was so insane that she’d killed Taylor because he was leaving her for Agnes…

Oh, hell, Agnes thought. She’s completely psycho and she thinks all her problems are my fault. Just in time for the wedding.

“Well, you’re safe in here for the weekend,” the blonde said.

Agnes sighed again. “No, I’m not. My guy will be coming to get me pretty soon.”

“The one who fucked the stripper? Nah. I’m telling you, he can’t get bail.”

“He didn’t fuck the stripper.” Agnes rolled over on her side. “And he won’t bother with bail.”

“What’s he going to do? Break you out?”

Agnes shrugged. “Whatever it takes. I have to put on a wedding tomorrow, or I lose my house, and he won’t let that happen.”

“The wedding for Barbie there? I don’t think she’s gonna get married, I think she’s leaving with Deputy Dawg.”

“My guy’ll bring her back if she does.”

The blonde craned her neck up to see Agnes. “So this guy who fucked the stripper, he’s going to break you out of jail and help with the runaway bride so you won’t lose your house. What is he, Robin Hood?”

“No, he’s a hitman.”

“Uh-huh. You’re crazy.”

“No,” Agnes said. “But I did have a court-appointed psychiatrist once.”

Then she rolled over and made a mental To Do List for when Shane came to get her.

“Agnes didn’t kill Taylor,” Shane said as he and Xavier headed up the path back to the house. He saw the crime scene tape off to the side of the trail and the deputies tripping over each other trying to investigate it.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Xavier said, “except Hammond found her standing over Taylor with her meat fork through his throat and him holding on to her apron as he departed this mortal coil. I’m not looking at suicide here, by the way. And she does have that anger problem. Which is why I feel it’s best that she stay in custody for tonight.”

You want to see anger, Shane thought, check out Casey Dean’s girl’s neck.“You can’t keep her locked up. She’s got to make this wedding happen tomorrow.”

Xavier stared at him. “Let a potential murderer out of jail to put on a wedding? I might be a small-town cop and not so smart as everyone keeps reminding me, but…”

He paused because someone was coming this way. Shane turned to see who it was.

Palmer. He came staggering out of the woods, one hand on his forehead, the other extended to keep himself balanced.

“You need to go find Maria,” Shane told him when came up to them.

Palmer blinked and his unfocused eyes peered at Shane. “Maria?”

“Your bride,” Shane said. “The woman you’re marrying tomorrow.” Shane held out a hand. “About this tall. Thick, dark hair. Pretty. Loves you.”

Palmer was nodding. “Maria. Yeah. Right.” He looked about. “Where is she?”

“Probably in the house-” Shane began but Xavier cut him off.

“She’s at the jail.”

“You arrested her, too?” Shane demanded. “What for? Accessory to forking?”

“She’s not under arrest,” Xavier said. “She wanted to go with Agnes and Hammond. He’ll bring her back once Agnes is settled in.” He looked at Shane. “And I do mean settled in. Permanently. No wedding furloughs.”

“Hammond?” Palmer said, trying to frown without pain. “She’s with Hammond?”

“So if anybody was to have any ideas about early-release programs,” Xavier went on, “like, say, waking up a judge-”

Another person came down the path, this one in heels. “Palmer Anderson Keyes.” The voice was sharp, and Palmer winced, and Shane recognized Evie as she joined them. Only a mother could make a man’s full name go back to childhood. “What are you doing?”

“He’s pretty much working on standing up,” Shane said.

Evie gave Palmer a look that said she’d be dealing with him later and it wouldn’t be pretty, and then she turned to Xavier. “Maria called and said you arrested Agnes.”

“Yes.”

“Well, let her go,” Evie said. “We have a wedding in the morning.”

Xavier shook his head. “You people need to get something through your heads. This is a murder investigation. Taylor Beaufort is dead. Agnes’s meat fork was in his neck. She was standing over the body.”

“Agnes did not kill Taylor,” Evie said with finality. “You know that, Simon.”

“I don’t know-”

“Simon,” Evie said in a very low and husky voice. She stood very still, as did Xavier, her voice apparently taking him back a few years. “Shane, would you take care of Palmer while I talk to Detective Xavier?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Shane took Palmer’s arm as Evie reached out and took Xavier’s.

Xavier looked at her sternly. “Evie, I am sorry if this upsets you, but Agnes Crandall is staying in jail.” He put his hat back on his head firmly and with intent.

“Now, Xavier,” Evie said.

Shane guided Palmer to the house, listening with one ear to Evie alternately browbeating and cajoling Xavier into freeing Agnes, and by the time they reached the porch, he had a great deal of respect for Evie’s powers of persuasion and Xavier’s powers of resistance, not to mention a real curiosity about why Evie was married to a blowhard like Jefferson Keyes. The last thing Xavier said was, “Evie, I am sorry, but no, I will not,” and then Shane opened the porch door and saw Lisa Livia, white-faced and hollow-eyed, pacing while Carpenter made soothing noises, which he seemed to be good at. Beyond them, through the open kitchen door, he could see Joey and Doyle in the kitchen looking worried.

“Where’s Maria?” Lisa Livia demanded.

“She went with Agnes to jail,” Shane said, immediately realizing he’d phrased that badly when Lisa Livia turned on Xavier.

“She wasn’t arrested,” Xavier said hastily. “She was just accompanying Miss Agnes.”

“Who was arrested,” Shane added, feeling that Xavier deserved all the grief he could get.

“For what?” Lisa Livia said to Xavier.

“She is helping us with our inqui-”

“Killing Taylor,” Shane said, and while Lisa Livia zeroed in on the hapless Xavier, Shane took Carpenter aside. “The package is past the barn, behind some palmettos.”

Carpenter frowned. “Perhaps it would be prudent to move the package at a later time.”

Shane nodded. “It’s secure for now, assuming Downer doesn’t trip over it and get creative.” He looked over at Xavier now speaking sternly to Lisa Livia, who was snapping right back. “I don’t think Xavier is going to go looking for any more trouble tonight.”

Lisa Livia turned on Palmer. “And where the hell were you when all this was going on?”

“I was-” Palmer’s perfectly smooth forehead furrowed as he tried to think through the alcohol.

“He was under the weather,” Shane said.

“Under a keg more likely,” Lisa Livia said. “One of the bridesmaids said Maria said he had sex with a stripper.”

“Of course not,” Palmer said, but he swayed as he said it

“Absolutely not,” Evie said, but she gave her son the fish eye.

Shane shook his head. “Palmer didn’t do anything with the stripper.”

“How do you know?” Lisa Livia demanded. “Because this was a special kind of stripper,” Shane said, and Lisa Livia opened her mouth to argue and then shut up. Xavier looked at him oddly.

“Have you questioned the widow yet?” Shane asked him. “Brenda Dupres, uh, Beaufort?”

“She’s distraught,” Xavier said, his voice dry. “I do, however, have some queries for you-”

“She killed him just like she killed my daddy,” Lisa Livia snapped at him. “Go out on that damn boat and beat it out of her, and then bring Agnes home.”

“And Maria,” Palmer said, his swaying much more pronounced. “Maria should be home…”

“Go on, Xavier,” Evie said. “We’re waiting. Bring Agnes back.” She folded her arms and lifted her chin, and Xavier looked at her, exasperated. “Don’t look at me like that. You picked the wrong side on this one. Agnes is innocent. You’re always picking the wrong side. You did it twenty-five years ago and you’re doing it now.”

“Evie,” Xavier said.

Palmer’s swaying became downright dangerous, and Shane grabbed the front of his shirt and sat him down on the swing, which brought Shane close to Evie’s ear. “Walk Xavier to his car,” he whispered.

Evie stepped forward. “Come on, Xavier,” she said, smooth as glass. “It’s dark out there. Walk me to my car.”

Xavier started to speak, and she took his arm. “You can harass Shane tomorrow,” she said, and tugged him toward the screen door, and he shot Shane a glare full of suspicion and then he looked down at Evie, sighed, and went.

Shane straightened Palmer on the swing. “You stay here and get to know your mother-in-law.”

“Where are you going?” Lisa Livia said, almost in tears. “What about Maria? What about Agnes?”

“I’m on it,” Shane told her.

“It’ll be all right,” Carpenter said, his voice low. “We’ll be right back. And tomorrow, I’ll take care of the other thing for you. Rest.”

Lisa Livia took a deep breath, nodded, and then turned to Palmer. “You’re an idiot. But I like you. I’ll make coffee.”

Shane looked in the back door to the kitchen at Joey. “You take care of things here.”

Joey nodded and patted the gun-shaped bulge under his T-shirt.

Great, Shane thought. Just what we need. mure people with firepower. “What’s the plan?” Carpenter said.

“We break Agnes out of jail,” Shane said. “Then I convince her that I wasn’t having sex with the stripper so she doesn’t kill me. Then we come back here and take care of the package and hit Casey Dean. Then we find proof that Brenda killed Taylor and give it to Xavier so he doesn’t prosecute Agnes for going AWOL. Then we make sure Maria marries Palmer. Then we meet Wilson and I get his job and you get a promotion and a big raise.”

“Why does that sound like a To Do List?” Carpenter said.

“Get in the van,” Shane said.


Maria had come back with Agnes’s lawyer, Barry, who said the same thing about judges and holiday weekends as the blonde-”Told you so,” the blonde said-but who added that the prosecution was going to have a damn hard time explaining why Agnes’s fingerprints were on a meat fork that she’d committed premeditated murder with on the spur of the moment in the middle of her woods while she asked her alibi to wait on the footpath. “I don’t understand why they arrested you at all,” Barry said, his face cheerful through the bars. “Xavier’s usually smarter than this. We may even get a wrongful arrest out of this. I doubt it, but I can certainly try.”