She had to get away before she lost herself even more.
7
Sweet and Savory
Angel tiptoed into her apartment, careful not to wake Jillian or Becca. She was completely shaken by the events of the evening. So much for her resolve to keep control of the situation, her theory that sex with Alex Avery would quell the ache was screwed. It only made her hungry for more. He was sexier than any man she’d ever seen. So hot, so practiced, so confident, and so vocal about what he wanted.
Angel was physically quaking and mentally rattled. She didn’t even remember the short cab ride home after she’d bolted down the stairs, threw on her dress, and gathered up her shoes. She was out the door and racing down the stairs well before Alex could follow.
His voice still echoed in her head. “Angel! Stop!”
She sucked in a deep breath, filling her lungs to capacity as she tiptoed down the hall to her room. His scent was all over her—on her clothes, on her skin—and her heart felt heavy when her bedroom door clicked shut behind her. She dropped her shoes and threw her purse on the bed. With trembling hands, she undid the clasp on her dress, the same one she’d so boldly let loose two hours earlier in front of Alex’s huge window in the great room of his apartment.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Angel?” she said with a ragged breath. “He will eat you alive.” How in the hell could I think I’d be immune to all that blatant masculinity and smoldering sex appeal? Her dress fell in a pool on the floor and she left it where it landed, pulling back the covers, crawling beneath them and folding her body in on itself. She should take a shower, but she was unwilling to wash his essence from her body just yet. Her throat ached, her mind raced, her eyes burned, and her body… felt empty. The physical imprint of Alex was still there, holding her open, aching. Never before had she been left wanting like this, with her mind refusing to shut off. Her breath came hard and deep as she struggled to get her heart and pulse under control.
The phone in her purse started playing S.E.X. by Nickleback and Angel started in the bed. Of course, it was Alex calling the phone he’d sent with the flowers. Her brow creased. She should run and keep on running, but she craved the sound of his voice. She wanted him to prove Whitney’s accusations wrong and to believe he was so much more than that… wanted it so much that her heart squeezed and iron bands tightened around her chest, making breathing difficult. She gasped as she finally reached for the phone and the music stopped.
“Uhhhh…” Will he leave a message? she wondered, angry at herself because she wanted to answer, but conversely that she’d been too slow about it. Seconds ticked by and the beep of the message being recorded never came. Her heart sank. The screen on the phone blurred before it went black.
Shit.
Angel clenched her teeth and rolled onto her back, confusion left her off-balance. Did she want to see him or run as far from him as possible? Did she want to fuck him or make love to him? She stopped dead and pulled in another deep breath, her fist slamming hard against the mattress. Those thoughts had no place in the same space as Alexander Avery.
She started violently when the phone in her hand rang again. The words of the song he’d picked for his ringtone burned into her cognizance. How in the hell did he know how she felt? How did he connect with her like he did? Was he some sort of superhuman that got off on screwing with her perfectly organized, safe life?
“Is sex always the answer for you?” she breathed into the phone, repeating words used in the song.
Nothing but silence followed.
“Is it?” she asked again softly. The sound of his breathing washed over her, making her body quicken as if he was right there next to her. She closed her eyes. She could feel his breath—the heat; the passion—rushing like a physical caress over her skin.
“I used to think so. Until tonight,” he said honestly. His voice was low and velvety smooth. “But I don’t know anymore.”
It was her turn to be silent as she rolled onto her side and pulled her knees up to her chest. The safest thing… the smartest thing, was to hang up the phone, but she just couldn’t.
“Don’t say things like that just because you think it’s what I need to hear.”
He sighed heavily; slightly sad she would have that thought after the magical evening they’d just shared. “I’m not. I wanted to make sure you arrived home safely. Have you?” He was lying on his bed in the dark, moved beyond words by the woman who rocked his fucking world and then evaporated like a ghost in the night.
“Yes.”
Neither of them was willing to end the call, each searching for words, reliving the amazing evening they’d just spent together.
Finally. Alex sighed. “I wish you hadn’t left. I wasn’t ready to stop touching you.”
Angel bit her lip, shivers rocking through her body, sending bumps scattering along the skin of her back and limbs, making her nipples hard and her clit throb. “Your voice… Alex, you’re giving me goose bumps without touching me.”
Alex ran a hand down his face, his heart pushing blood all around his body, his cock full and aching. “Christ, Angel. Tonight was momentous. I’ve never felt so… completely connected this fast.” Or ever, he thought.
“It scares me.”
“Is that why you ran away?”
“I didn’t run away.”
“Didn’t you?”
“It’s like I told you. That wasn’t me.”
“Which part? The smart, snarky part that mind fucks me at every turn, or the soft, so sexy part that drives me insane with desire? When you came for me… I’ve never felt so powerful. It was incredible.”
“No, Alex. The part that drops her dress on the first date.” She groaned, so softly it made his dick twitch. “I’ve never done that before.”
“That makes it even better. You know, this isn’t how I operate either. I usually take it for what it is and don’t think twice about it once it’s over.”
“Yes, like you said that first night on the phone. I remember.”
“I’ve never been left wanting more before it even ends, until you. Will you give this a chance, Angel?”
“I’m not like Whitney. That could never be me”
He replied sarcastically, clearly annoyed. “Like Whitney? Are you even listening to what I’m saying? You’re nothing like her. I didn’t give her a second thought. But you? You’re all I fucking think about! Everything I never knew I wanted.”
Angel gasped. They were only words, but they were so powerful. Pulling her heart, making her body ache in ways she never knew possible. This man, whom she barely knew, moved her more than anyone ever had. “Please, stop.”
“Stop what? Being honest? I thought that’s what you wanted and I have been. Completely.”
“I want to believe that.”
His voice, soft and warm just seconds before, turned angry and exasperated. “Why can’t you? Haven’t I treated you with respect? Didn’t I ask to see you again? Can you trust your instincts instead of the brief synopsis you got from that plastic bitch?”
“I’m sorry, Alex,” Angel said softly, meaning it. Her heart was already aching over this man, and she didn’t want to hurt him or disrespect him. “I’m… With my profession, I see all this shit, and I know it’s not fair to project it on to you.” He sighed heavily and she heard some rustling in the background suggesting that he was pulling back the covers or moving underneath them. “I’ve had my own issues in the past, and I just… It’s hard to let myself be vulnerable, but that is definitely how I feel with you. How is that for honesty?”
“It’s good, and it means a lot to me you’d admit that, Angel. Really. But you have no reason to mistrust me, other than what Whitney said. So, if this gets screwed up, I’d prefer it was because of the two of us, and not someone from either of our pasts. Is that fair?” He was so sure of himself, like it was a done deal, but his voice was soft and persuasive.
It sounded logical enough. But, whoever or however it got screwed up, one thing she was already certain of; when it ended, it was going to hurt… if she let him get any closer to her. If she let herself get closer to him. But the scary part was that she wanted to get closer; so much closer. She wanted to lose herself in the fluttery feelings, the blazing passion, and in him.
When she didn’t speak, Alex bristled, his mind seizing in panic. It was important that she give him a chance to get to know her. For the first time in his life, he actually gave a shit, which definitely wasn’t his normal M.O.
“Look, I’ve had relationships that, for whatever reason, didn’t work. It doesn’t mean I’m a man-whore or disrespectful to the women involved. I’m always monogamous and safe.” He huffed and then changed his tone to one of amusement. “I mean, I don’t want my dick to fall off, for Christ’s sake! I’ve grown rather attached to it.”
Angel laughed softly. She had such a hard time keeping him out. Their sexy banter was fun for both of them.
“I was hoping it was starting to mean something to you, too,” he said, lowering his voice, the amused tone replaced by the sexy teasing.
“It’s growing on me, yes.”
“Mmmm,” he moaned softly and her body responded. “It’s just growing, period.”
Fuck, he was hot. “Mmmm… is right,” she agreed. “So, are you saying that you aren’t in this just for sex? You made no bones about that before, so…” Angel hesitated.
“I’m not sure what this is yet, Angel, but it’s very exciting, and I want to explore it further. That’s all I’m asking of you right now, other than that we be completely honest with each other. I want you. Physically, it’s insane, but intellectually, I find you’re on my level, and you’re funny as hell, which is extremely sexy.” He was laying it all on the line. “Where are you with it?”
“The sexual attraction is vicious. I feel torn. We could have a great time with no strings for a bit, but I worry about the consequences. I’m not someone who makes decisions without considering all the angles. One of us could get bloody on this.”
Angel was already feeling vulnerable. Maybe it was the wine that was allowing her to be freer with her words, but more likely it was how connected she felt to Alex, and it felt like he was pulling her through the fucking phone.
Alex sighed. “I know. I heard every word that you said during our first phone call and since. I get it. It’s a risk, but one I’m willing to take.”
“Coming from Mr. I-don’t-get-emotionally-involved, that’s no risk at all.”
“Neither one of us knows what will happen.” Alex struggled between his need to keep his hand close to the cuff and his desire to spill his fucking guts. It felt like there was no choice. “It feels different with you. If you said we could only talk on the phone for a month, I’d be okay with that. This isn’t just about sex. You’re in my head.” He closed his eyes. That was the biggest admission he’d ever made. It gave her all kinds of power, but there was nothing for it. It was what it was.
“Would you be able to keep from seeing other women in the interim?”
“Without question. It would just make it more explosive when we finally do come together.”
Her heart thumped and she smiled at his choice of words and the amusement in his tone.
When she didn’t answer, he strained to hear what she was doing on the other end of the line.
“Angel? Tell me what you’re thinking,” he demanded softly.
“I’m thinking that you’re dangerous, and I need to be careful.” I can’t let you melt me and turn me into a mindless pile of goo. “But, I do enjoy talking with you.”
“And being with me?” His voice was sultry bait, drawing her out.
She smiled and laughed softly, running a hand through her hair. “Would you believe me if I said no?”
“Not after tonight. No, I wouldn’t believe that.”
“Then why ask?”
“Because I want to hear you say it. I need to know that you are as fucked over this as I am.”
“I’d say I was pretty thoroughly fucked, yeah.”
He laughed softly. The sound so low and sexy, Angel clenched her thighs together in an attempt to stop the throbbing. “So when can I see you?” Alex asked.
“When do you want to?”
“Now. I’d come this minute if you’d let me.”
Angel’s pulse pounded in her ears. I wish, she thought. “I can’t. Becca and the baby are here.”
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