Bella Jewel - Angels In Leather

There are so many people I would like to thank; it’s quite possible I could take up two pages with it. In all my time writing, the support I have received has been utterly mind-blowing. I’ve had so many kind people offering to help, from blogs, to fans, to people I don’t even know. You’re all amazing, each and every one of you.

Now, to the personal thanks.

To Sali Benbow-Powers—my crazy, enthusiastic reader. Your notes kept me going. You ripped a smile out of me every time, without a doubt. Your personality is like a breath of fresh air, as I’ve told you before. You’re the kind of girl people go to when they’re feeling down because you’re bound to make them smile! You know you rocked my book, so you know I’ll rock you back!

To Bella Aurora, my sissy, my sunshine. You’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I’ll never regret making a friend out of you. Your help with this book really made a difference to me. You took the time out, even in all your crazy fame, to talk to me and get me through this one. I’ll adore you forever, twinsie.

To Lauren McKellar, for editing this book for me. You took the time out, chatted with me the entire way, and were so damn sweet about it. You’re utterly amazing, and I feel so lucky to have snatched you up. No doubt there are many out there who would like to grab you and keep you. But they can’t, you’re mine, muahahahaha!

To Ari, from Coverit Designs. Girl, you rock my covers. Seriously, you’re the best cover artist ever. You just get an idea, and you make it amazing. Without you, this book wouldn’t look pretty, which means no one would buy it, so girl, you get half the damn credit!! I love your work!

To Love Between The Sheets for all the time and effort you have put in getting my name out, and organizing my tours. You ladies got my name out there, you helped me grow and expand. You’re absolutely amazing.

To my fun-loving admin, MJ! You’re freaking amazing, your witty comments bring a smile to my face all the time. Thanks, girl, for running my page for me when I’m sleeping here in Aus-land! You rock it!

And, of course, to all my fans—you know without all of you, this wouldn’t be possible. So to each and every one of you reading this right now, THANK YOU!! Keep doin’ what you do best, and that’s reading!!

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The wind whips my face as I lower my head, staring down at the water below me. My heart clenches, and my entire body is trembling. The sick feeling in my stomach can’t be described. My skin is covered in a fine sheen of sweat, and my heart is pounding. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes, and I know they’re likely the last tears I’ll ever shed. The thought doesn’t even scare me; it brings me comfort.

I’m going to jump.

I don’t really remember the moment when I ended up here, but it creeped up upon me so quickly it was like a hurricane. I knew my life wasn’t ideal, but more often than not, I dealt with it. Then I began dating, and my heart got broken, and things just spiraled downwards. Without a mother to support me, I quickly crumbled. My father, while loving, is always so busy with his life. He didn’t notice me sinking.

Depression snuck upon me, slowly eating me away until nothing seemed beautiful anymore. I no longer looked at trees and saw their beauty, or found happiness in the smallest of life’s delicacies. Nothing was pretty. Nothing meant anything anymore. I was empty, and slowly but surely, that emptiness consumed me until I ended up here.

Alone.

My fingers tremble as I climb over the railing of our local bridge. It’s quiet tonight, because the small town we live in has their annual bash going on, and no one is out. I picked the perfect night. The wind is non-existent, and I can hear the distant hum of beetles in the trees. That’s the last sound I’ll hear.

I swallow, and begin to cry harder as I climb over the railings, and clutch them. It only takes a second to let go; yet it takes so much more to get to this point.

I feel my body begin to sway as I begin to heave.

This is it.

My freedom.

“What the fuck are you doin’, Cricket?”

That voice. I close my eyes, so sure it can’t be real. I haven’t heard that voice since I was twelve years old. I slowly turn my head, and blink through my tears to see Axel Wraithe standing on the other side of the road, staring at me, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He’s not a young man anymore; instead, he’s grown into an older, far more handsome version. I blink again, making sure I’m seeing this correctly.

“Axel?” I rasp.

He drops his cigarette, and walks across the road, stopping behind me. “I’ll ask again, Cricket, what the fuck are you doin’?”

I should just let go. It would be quick, and he wouldn’t be able to stop me. I don’t want him talking me out of this. He’ll never understand why I’m here. He left a long time ago, when he and my father had a falling out. He never came back to visit, and he never called. I adored him once, not in the romantic kind of way, hell I was only twelve, but as a friend. When he left, I began to fade.

I don’t answer his question because I can’t. Even though I’m sobbing, my throat is dry and scratchy. I keep my gaze on the water below, and I know I have to let go. If I don’t do it now, then he’ll talk me out of it and then leave. Where will that leave me? I can’t put myself through the pain any longer. I can’t do it. I don’t want to have to answer to him, or anyone, again.

I let go.

I begin to fall, and my heart feels like it’s going to leap out of my mouth. A strangled scream leaves my throat. I can’t swim. I know I can’t swim. It’s why I chose the deepest water I could find under the highest bridge.

It takes only seconds for me to hit that deep, never-ending water. I land so hard, and my entire body stings all over. I open my mouth to scream again only to have it fill with water.

I choke, and my arms and legs flail around. I’m suddenly desperate. People often wonder if those who commit suicide question themselves right at the moment before they die. I realize, some of them probably do. My body is filled with panic, and the desperate need to surface. My lungs are screaming, and my body is becoming weak, but I start kicking frantically. It’s at that moment I realize . . .

I don’t want to die.

My vision begins to blur as my arms slowly lose all their movement. My body sinks lower, and my lungs no longer hurt. I feel...peaceful. Maybe this was the best choice. Maybe this is where I’m meant to be. My eyes close as I sink further and further down into the darkness. I don’t feel scared anymore.

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

* * *

Heavy hands press down onto my chest over and over, pumping. My head spins when it’s lifted, and a mouth is shoved against mine, breathing into my aching lungs. I begin to cough so badly I struggle breathe through it. My body is jerked upward, and I throw up until I’m dry-heaving. Everything aches, and my head is pounding. I open my eyes, and blink rapidly. My vision isn’t great as I try to take in my surroundings.

“Keep breathin’, Cricket. Don’t you close those eyes again.”

Axel?

I slowly remember how I ended up here, and I begin to panic. I gasp for air, and grip anything I can for comfort. Axel’s shirt is what I take hold of. It’s wet beneath my fingers. As my vision begins to clear I look up at him, and I realize he’s soaking wet. He came in after me. He saved my life?

“Why did you save me?” I croak.

He wraps his big arms around me, holding onto me tightly.

“Why did you jump?”

“I can’t answer that,” I whisper, feeling his body beginning to warm my skin.

“Then neither can I,” he murmurs into my hair.

“I...”

“Don’t,” he says, pressing me further into him. “I know how it feels to be surrounded in darkness, Cricket. But don’t you ever...ever let it consume you.”

“I have nothing,” Trembling, I whisper a hollow, “There’s just nothing left.”

He reaches down, lifting my chin, and forcing me to meet his eyes. “There’s always something left. You just have to fight to see it.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. I stare at him, and I know he’s given me a second chance, even when I thought I didn’t want it. It wasn’t until the last moment that I realized I didn’t want to die. I couldn’t die. I had to fight. The way I was taught to. This isn’t me, and I’m ashamed that I let myself sink so low. What is it they say? You have to hit rock bottom before you can get back up again? I’m at rock bottom, and Axel has picked me back up again. I say the only thing I can.

“Thank you.”

He pulls me closer, rubbing his hands over my back.

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

AXEL

I can’t fuckin’ breathe. All I can do is close my eyes and hold my breath, hoping it ends soon. It’s always too long, always too much. I can’t fuckin’ deal with it. I can’t tolerate the little whimpering sounds coming out of her mouth. She’s gasping and squirming, but her hands are tied behind her back.

I can’t function, I want to be sick, but they won’t let her stop until I am done. I hate them for that.

“Please,” the girl gasps, turning her eyes towards the dark-hooded man in the corner.

“Keep fuckin’ sucking. Don’t you fucking stop until he comes.”

I shake my head from side to side as her mouth touches my flaccid cock again. Bile rises in my throat, and it takes everything inside me not to break. They want me to break. That’s their goal, that’s their punishment, and it’s all his fault: Mitchell Haynes. He set me up. The one man I trusted, and he fucked me over. He sent me on a suicide trip, and now I’m here, getting abused by a club that wants their revenge.

The girl gags, and I want to reach up and rip my own eyes out; anything to take this pain in my chest away. Her lips work harder and faster, trying to get my cock to play the game. It’s the only way she can stop - if I come. It’s sick, and fucking twisted, and it’s burning into my mind, taking a part of me that I know I can’t get back.

The girl reaches up, and her finger slides into my ass. I can’t stop her. I’m chained up, and there’s nothing I can do to stop the assault.

I want to throw up. I hate it, because my cock hardens.

They know how to get a man over the edge, even when the man is disgusted.

She sucks harder, and the bastard in the corner watches, probably with his own erection. I’ll get my hands on him one day, and I’ll fucking kill him. I’ll gut him and string him out to dry.

I won’t show him it feels good. He gets off knowing he’s forcing me to come against my will. It’s satisfying to him. I meet his eyes, and I don’t move them as my cock jerks, and I come into the girl’s mouth.

A small smirk appears on his lips.

It’s victory for him once again.

Blood trickles down my fingers as I lift my shaky hand to my face, staring at it. So much blood. So red. So sticky. I lower my eyes to where my father slumps against the seat, panting, gasping for air, reaching for me with a desperation that I don’t quite understand. How did we get here? We were just heading to the bank, or so he said. Then, out of nowhere, they appeared: Axel and his gang.

Axel, who was once my father’s friend.

Axel, who once had saved my life.

He shot my father in cold blood, nothing but emptiness in his eyes. Like he never mattered to him. Now we’re in an alley he pulled over into, just barely. His skin is going a funny shade of gray, and his breath sounds wheezy. My heart is beating so heavily I can hear it in my own head. My entire body is tingling with fear, a fear that I can’t shake, because I don’t understand it. I know what my father is. I know he’s a bad man, but I didn’t know he was in this kind of trouble.