“Withdraw them, Faith. Call the school. There's no point doing that. You are not going to law school, and that's final. I won't tolerate it!” She only wanted to take the classes to prepare herself for law school in the fall and get back into the rhythm of school. Besides, it was a more intelligent pursuit than lunches or shopping with her friends.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Zoe shouted at him, as her father stood up, looking enraged.

“How dare you speak to me that way!” he shouted back at her, as tears filled Faith's eyes. She didn't want this to happen. She wanted everything to be perfect for them while they were there. And she felt as though this was all her fault, since they were arguing over her.

“Zoe, please!” Faith said gently, trying to calm her, but Alex was furious over what she'd said to him. It was the culmination of a lot of old battles between them. Zoe was always critical of him, and had been since she was a little girl. But this was the most outspoken she had ever been to him. She couldn't stand the way he spoke to and about their mother. And Faith had a hard time defending herself. Years of being criticized and dominated as a child had taken a toll.

“No, Mom,” Zoe said, turning to her, her own eyes brimming with tears, “I don't know how you can let him talk to you that way. It makes me sick. And if you won't tell him to stop, I will.” And then she turned to Alex, trembling with rage. “You're so goddamn disrespectful of her, you always are. How can you treat her that way? Can't you treat her like a human being, after everything she does for you, for all of us? When does she get her turn, to be treated with respect? And if she wants to go to law school, why the hell not? Frankly, I'd rather eat hot dogs next year, and know that she was happy.”

Ellie piped up then, looking superior and irritated, as Faith wished she had a magic wand to make them all behave. “You always spoil everything,” she said to her younger sister. “You're always picking on Dad.”

“For chrissake, look at the way he treats our mother! Is that all right with you? Do you think that's what she deserves? Dad's not a saint, you know, El. He's just a man, and he treats Mom like shit.”

“Stop it!” Faith shouted at them. They were all behaving abominably, and worse yet, they were doing it on her behalf. The meal was over by then, but it was ending on an ugly note that none of them would ever forget, and all because Alex had mentioned that Faith wanted to go to law school. She was furious with herself too for snapping at him and setting a tone that had been picked up by the girls. She felt she should have known better, and was devastated to have been the cause of a situation that had upset everyone. And without saying another word, Alex stormed out of the room, marched into his study, and slammed the door.

“Now look what you've done!” Ellie shouted at her mother and sister. “You've ruined everything for Dad.”

“Bullshit!” Zoe shouted back at her. “You're always protecting him, but he started this. He put Mom down in front of all of us. How much fun is that for her?”

“You shouldn't have told him you sent the forms in for school,” Eloise reproached her mother. “You knew it would upset him. Why did you tell him that?” She was in tears too.

“Because I was upset,” Faith said apologetically, wanting them both to calm down. She hated it when they fought, particularly over her—and she always felt guilty when they did. “I was going to tell him eventually anyway, if I decided to go. I haven't made my mind up yet.” She was torn between wanting to take a stand, and not wanting to upset them. She could still decide not to take the classes, or even the LSAT in a few weeks.

“You'd better go, Mom,” Zoe railed at her. “I'll never forgive you, or Dad, if you don't. It's what you want to do, and you have as much right as we do, or Dad does, to do what you want.”

“Not if it upsets your father that much, and creates this much havoc between the two of you.” Faith looked heartbroken. Why did something so reasonable for her have to come at such a high price for everyone else?

“He'll get over it,” Zoe said, glaring angrily at Eloise. She hated it when her sister stood up for their father, when he was wrong. Ellie always defended him, no matter what, which seemed unreasonable to her. “Mom has to have a life too,” she said, as Ellie disappeared from the dining room. She was going to console her dad.

Faith was clearing the table then, with tears running down her cheeks. “I hate it when you girls fight,” she said miserably, as Zoe put an arm around her and held her tight as Faith juggled the plates distractedly.

“I hate it when he treats you like shit, Mom. And he always does. He does it just to torture you in front of us.”

“He doesn't torture me,” Faith said as she put the plates down and gave Zoe a hug. “But thank you for defending me. It's not a good idea if it gets everyone upset. That's just the way he is,” Faith said, forgiving him more easily than Zoe ever would. She had years of scores to settle with him, which would take her a lifetime to resolve. Faith hated that too, but she could never convince Zoe otherwise. Alex had been too hard on her for too long.

“He's arrogant and inconsiderate, and supercilious and disrespectful and cold,” Zoe said, reeling off what she felt were his main faults, as Ellie walked back into the room. Her father had told her he wanted to be alone.

“And you're a bitch!” Eloise said from across the room.

“Girls! Stop it!” Faith shouted at them, and then gathered up the plates and left the dining room. It was a nightmarish end to what was supposed to be a wonderful afternoon. Zoe followed her into the kitchen then, and Ellie went upstairs to call her friends. Faith was crushed over what a disaster the afternoon had been.

“Mom, I hate to desert you and go out,” Zoe said apologetically. “I was supposed to meet some kids at six o'clock.” It was nearly that by then.

“It's all right, sweetheart. I don't suppose we're going to get all this sorted out tonight. I hope everyone will calm down by tomorrow.”

“He'll be the same then, Mom. That's who he is.”

“He's still your father, and I don't care how much you disagree with him, you have to show him respect.”

“He has to earn it first,” Zoe said, unwilling to relent. She had strong principles, and integrity, and the only respect she felt was for Faith. Her father had lost hers years before.

She kissed her mother, and ten minutes later, she left. And a few minutes after that, Eloise came downstairs carrying her coat and purse. She had made a date with friends, and she was anxious to get out. The atmosphere in the house was leaden after the explosion at the end of the meal.

“I'm sorry things got so difficult,” Faith said sadly to her. She had wanted it all to be so perfect for them. She hadn't counted on the argument that she had caused.

“That's okay, Mom,” Ellie said unconvincingly She still looked upset. They all did.

“I shouldn't have reacted to what your father said,” Faith said apologetically. She didn't say, as Zoe would have, that he shouldn't have goaded her by saying it. It had been a gesture of disrespect, whether Eloise admitted it or not. “It'll be all right.”

“Yeah, I know…. I hope you don't go to school, Mom. It will upset Dad so much.” And what about me, Faith wanted to scream. What kind of life will I have if I don't? No life at all.

“We'll work it out. Don't worry about it. Just go out tonight and have some fun. What time do you think you'll be home?”

“I don't know, Mom.” She smiled. She was twenty-four years old, and she'd been living on her own in an apartment in London. She wasn't used to having her mother checking on her anymore. “Late. Don't wait up.”

“I just wanted to know what time I should start worrying.” She smiled. “Sometimes I forget how old you

“Just go to bed. I'll be fine.” Zoe had said she'd be back by ten. And she worried about both girls when they were out. They were beautiful, and more vulnerable than they thought.

Eloise left a few minutes later, and Faith spent the next hour clearing the table and cleaning up the kitchen. The leftovers were put away, the counters were clean, the dining room table looked pristine again, and the dishwasher was going full force.

It was after seven when she turned off the lights and knocked on Alex's study door. There was no answer for a long time, but she knew that he was there. In the end, she cracked the door open and peeked in. He was sitting in a chair, reading a book, and glanced up at her with a frown.

“May I come in?” She was respectful of him, and his space, and spoke to him from across the room.

“Why? There's nothing to say.”

“I think there is. I'm sorry things got out of hand. I got upset by what you said.”

“You already agreed to give up the idea of law school, Faith. You went back on your word. And there's no point in your taking classes this spring. I assume they're law classes you signed up for?” She nodded and he looked sullen, angry, and cold. And she felt the same icy wind of disapproval she'd had from the men in her life since she was a child. But this time, she was determined to handle it differently.

“We didn't agree. You ordered me to do what you told me to.” She sat down in a chair across from his. It was a small, cozy wood-paneled room, with a leather couch, and two large leather chairs, and a fireplace Alex often lit on winter nights, but not tonight. He hadn't been in the mood. “Alex, this is important to me. I need a new purpose in my life, a reason to live, something to focus on, now that the girls are gone.” She wanted to make him understand how much this meant to her, and hoped that then he would agree.

“You have a purpose. You're married to me. You're my wife.” It was the only role he could see her in, and he had no intention of changing that now. It suited him, whether or not it was enough for her.

“I need more than that. You're a busy man. You have a life. I don't.”

“That's a sad statement about our marriage,” he said, looking glum. Her appeals were falling on deaf ears.

“Maybe it is,” she said quietly. “Maybe it's a sadder statement about me. I need a purpose in life, a bigger one than I've got. Let's face it, I've been a full-time mother for twenty-four years, and I'm out of a job. That's tough.”

“That's life. All women face that when their kids go away to college.”

“A lot of them have jobs and careers. I want to be one of them. And all I can tell you is that I'll do my best not to let it interfere with you.” She was pleading with him, but he showed no sign that he'd relent.

“Things are going to come to a bad pass with us, Faith, if you don't back off.”

“Don't threaten me, Alex. That's not fair. I wouldn't do this to you. If this was important to you, I'd try and support you as best I could.”

“It's important to me that you not go to school.” They were each deadlocked where they were, and Faith had no idea how to resolve it with him, or get what she wanted. She hated to give up. There seemed to be so much at stake suddenly, not just whether or not she went to school. This was about respect and self-esteem, and a new life she wanted desperately, but their old life was far more comfortable for him.

“Can we shelve this for now?” She didn't know what else to do. All she could hope was that time would soften him, when he got used to the idea.

“I'm not going to discuss it with you again,” he said, and then startled her by what he said next. “Do what you want, Faith. I suppose you will anyway. But don't expect my support. I'm a hundred percent opposed to your going back to school. I just want you to be clear on that. Do it at your own risk.”

“What does that mean?” His veiled threat frightened her, just as it was intended to.

“What I said.” She wondered if he would punish her in some way if she went back to school. But in her heart of hearts, she knew it was worth the risk. It was something she knew she had to do. No matter what. For once in her life, she was going to do something just for her.

“Do you want to come upstairs?” she asked him gently, grateful that he had backed off, even a little bit, although there had been an implied threat. Maybe this was the best he could do, and she was grateful that it wasn't worse. It could have been.

“No, I don't,” he said, lowering his eyes to his book again and shutting her out, as he always did.

She got up quietly and left. She touched his shoulder as she went, and he did not respond. He felt like a statue when she touched him, and he said not a word. She went upstairs to take a bath, and then sat in her own small study, while she waited for Zoe to come home. She checked her e-mail, but there was no word from Brad.