“Oh my God.” She couldn't believe she was hearing those words. “How can you do this, Alex? Didn't our marriage mean anything to you?”

“No more than it did to you when you decided to stop being my wife and become a lawyer.”

“How can you compare the two?” She suddenly understood the appeal of the girl in the thong. She was twenty-three years younger than Alex, and a receptionist. She didn't have a major career. He could control her, and he had lost some of his hold on Faith. He couldn't forgive her for that.

“I don't have to justify anything to you, Faith. You brought this on yourself.” Part of her believed him and the rest of her wanted to scream, it was so unfair, and a moment later he hung up. He didn't even tell her where he was staying, and she suddenly wondered if he was living with the girl. Anything was possible now. Faith felt as though she had lost her entire world in a single week, and she was crying softly when she heard the front door slam. She jumped, and couldn't imagine who it was, until she heard Zoe's voice.

“Hi, I'm home!” She had come home as a surprise, and Faith didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to explain Alex's absence, and she wasn't ready to tell her about the divorce. She hadn't even absorbed it yet herself.

Faith quickly wiped her eyes and hurried into the hall with a wide smile. But she had a wild-eyed look, and she hadn't combed her hair all day. And there were deep circles under her eyes, from not sleeping all week.

“Hi, Mom,” Zoe said, as she dropped her bag on the floor of the front hall and then took a closer look at her mother, with worried eyes. “Are you sick?”

“I had some kind of stomach flu, and I've been feeling rotten all week.”

“That's too bad,” Zoe said sympathetically, “you sound like you have a cold too.”

“I do.” Faith was quick to agree. The truth was that she looked as bad as she felt. And it was going to be agony trying to keep the truth from Zoe over the weekend, but she was also relieved that she was there. It gave her something to hold on to, and to anchor her reality to. Her entire life had begun to feel surreal.

“Where's Dad?” Zoe asked, as she checked the refrigerator. There was hardly any food. Faith hadn't shopped or eaten all week.

“He's out of town. He's in Florida.” It was the first place that came to mind, and Zoe nodded. The story was plausible to her. Her father went away a lot.

“We need groceries. Sorry I didn't call. I thought it would be fun to surprise you, Mom. I'm sorry you've been sick.” She turned to her mother with a smile.

“I'll be fine.” Zoe nodded, and didn't think much of it, and then was surprised to see her mother's nightgown in her room and her bed unmade when they went upstairs.

“Who's been sleeping in my room?” She looked startled as she saw her unmade bed.

“I didn't want to keep your father up with my cold, so I slept in here. Sorry, sweetheart, I'll make the bed right away.”

“I thought you said Dad was away.” Zoe looked suspicious. It was obvious that something was wrong, and she wondered if her parents had had a fight.

“He is. But he only left today. I was going to move back to our room tonight.” But the big pretty yellow room all done in flowered chintz looked like a hellhole to her now. She couldn't imagine sleeping in it again.

“How come he left over the weekend?” That was unusual for him.

“I think he was afraid he wouldn't get in. They're expecting a big snowstorm in Chicago at the end of the week. He was going to a very important meeting, so he left early to be sure he'd get in.”

“Mom.” Zoe sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled her mother down next to her. In all her eighteen years, she had never seen her mother in such distress or so confused. Not even when her brother's plane had crashed. Zoe had been fifteen years old then and remembered it well. Her mother looked dazed and in total disarray. “You said he went to Florida. Mom, what's happening? What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” she insisted, as she started to cry. It had been the week from hell, and she was falling apart. And she didn't want to tell Zoe anything yet.

“Tell me the truth, Mom. Where's Dad?”

She knew she had to say something, if not the whole truth. “We had a little fight. It's nothing. I'm just upset, that's all. It's not a big deal.” But it was, and she knew she'd have to tell Zoe the truth at some point. She hated lying to her. “Okay, we had a big fight. A very big fight,” Faith admitted, blowing her nose, as Zoe kept an arm firmly around her. Her sympathies always lay with Faith.

“How big?”

“Very big. He walked out.”

“He left?” Zoe looked shocked, and was suddenly glad she'd come home. Her mother was a total mess. “He walked out?”

“Yes.” She had to fight to hold back sobs.

“Why?”

“It's too complicated to explain. I really don't want to tell you about that part. You have to trust me on that.” Zoe decided to respect her mother's boundaries, for the time being at least.

“Did he blame you?”

“Of course,” Faith said, blowing her nose again. “Who else can he blame? Certainly not himself.”

“Is he coming back?” Faith started to say yes, and then stopped and shook her head as she cried more.

“Holy shit. He's not? Are you sure?” Zoe looked stunned.

“He just told me he wants a divorce.” Zoe was suddenly not just her daughter, but her best friend. And she was afraid to burden her, but Zoe seemed to be holding up a lot better than her mother was. “When did all this happen?” “A week ago. I'm sorry I'm such a mess.” “What a bastard he is,” Zoe said about her father. It confirmed everything she'd thought of him for years, and then she looked at her mother again. “Does Ellie know?” “No one does. I just talked to him half an hour ago. He moved out on Saturday, and he just told me he wants a divorce. He says he has a right to a life too, and he feels dead being married to me.” “What a shit!”

“Don't talk about your father that way.” “Why not? He is. When were you going to tell us?” “I don't know. This is all pretty new. I've just been sitting here crying all week.”

“Poor Mom. I'm so sorry … I wish I'd known … I'm so glad I came home. I don't even know why I did. I just missed you this week.”

“Me too,” Faith said, as the two women hugged and she cried helplessly. And then Zoe took over, and tucked her into her bed. She went downstairs and made her some soup and scrambled eggs. She was shaken by the news she'd heard, but not as badly as Faith. All she wanted to do now was take care of her mom.

She climbed into bed with her when she came back upstairs, and they hugged and talked and watched TV.

And when Brad called late that night, she told him that Zoe was there, and he was relieved. She told him what Alex had said, and he sounded grim at his end.

“What a son of a bitch he is,” Brad said, sounding disgusted, and when Zoe left the room to go brush her teeth, Faith whispered what she knew about the girl, and that he'd been involved with her for nearly a year.

“I know you don't believe this now, but maybe this is for the best, Fred. You'd have never left him, and he'd have ruined your life.” But it was twenty-six years. A lot to lose in a single week. No matter how difficult he was, or how cold, she couldn't imagine a life without him. “I don't want to bother you if you're with Zoe. I'll call you tomorrow. Get some sleep.”

“I will.” Zoe had told her to sleep with her in her bed, and Faith was relieved. She couldn't imagine ever sleeping in her own bed again.

“Who was that?” Zoe asked when she came back from brushing her teeth. She felt like a mother taking care of her child, instead of the reverse.

“Brad Patterson.”

“The rosary guy?” Faith nodded, still looking sad, and Zoe smiled. “Maybe now you can marry him.”

“Don't be silly. He's like my brother, he practically is my brother, and he's married. And I'm still married to your dad.” But they both knew now that it wouldn't be for long. Faith couldn't even fathom it, as she lay in bed with Zoe that night. And she finally fell into a deep troubled sleep.





16


ZOE WENT BACK TO SCHOOL ON SUNDAY NIGHT, AND they talked all weekend before that. Faith was still in shock, and in spite of how miserable she was, she never told Zoe about the girl. She just said that her father said he wanted a more exciting life than he had with her, and he was furious that she had gone back to school, which was hardly news.

“Those are stupid reasons to get a divorce, Mom. Do you think he's having an affair?” Zoe said sensibly. But Faith didn't give away what had started it. In spite of everything, she was still loyal to him.

“I really don't know,” was all she said.

But she felt better by the time Zoe left. And she saw the lawyer Brad had recommended the following week. He told her everything she needed to know, and showed her the report from the private investigator. The girl's name was Leslie James. And a photograph they'd included showed a very pretty girl. She was tall and shapely and looked like a model, and had long wavy black hair, which Faith already knew. She had a five-year-old daughter, the report said, and she was well liked in the office. The romance was apparently an open secret at Alex's firm. The other secretaries in the office thought they might get married, but Alex had never said as much to anyone.

Faith felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach by the time she left. She was a beautiful girl certainly, and very young. She was eighteen years younger than Faith, which was yet another blow.

She was sitting in her study, staring into space, when the phone rang. It was Brad, checking to see how the meeting had gone.

“It was fine. I saw the report. She's a beautiful girl, Brad. I guess I can't blame him.” She sounded mortally depressed.

“I can. The guy's a fool. You're beautiful too.” More so than anyone Brad knew, inside and out.

“Thank you,” she said politely, but she didn't sound convinced. She felt as though her whole life had caved in, and it had. She and Zoe had laughed over the fact that she had missed Valentine's Day entirely. It had disappeared into the smoke of her own private hell. She hadn't even remembered what day it was, and she no longer cared. But Zoe had gotten the chocolates her mother had sent. And so had Ellie in London, after a slight delay.

“I have some news for you,” Brad said, trying to cheer her up. He had been worried about her for more than a week. She was sounding depressed, and he knew she'd been struggling in school, but at least she went.

“What's that?” she asked, feeling half dead. She felt as though she were hanging somewhere in outer space. Everything about her life suddenly seemed unreal.

“I have to come to New York for a couple of days. I have some work to do there. I was hoping you'd have dinner with me. We can just go out for pizza if you don't feel like getting dressed.”

“Now that is good news,” she said with a sad smile. Even seeing him wasn't the joy it would have been only weeks before. But it was pretty good. It was something to look forward to. “When are you coming?”

“This weekend actually. I have to see a couple of attorneys there, to consult on a tough case. I'm coming in late Friday night. I can be at your door on Saturday morning, and maybe we can go skating in the park.”

“I thought you had to work,” she said vaguely, and he smiled at his end. She wasn't as dead as he thought.

“I do. I'll work it in. But I'd love to see you. Save me Saturday night, Fred. I'm going home on the red-eye Sunday night. It's a quick trip.” He had concocted it entirely for her. He was worried sick about her, and he told himself he owed it to Jack. He wanted to go to New York to take a look at her and make sure she was all right. He didn't have to see anyone, but he told her he did, just so he would have the excuse to come and visit her. It seemed like the least he could do.

And by the time he arrived in New York, Faith had survived another week since Alex's perfidy. Their lawyers had contacted each other, and things were moving ahead. They hadn't told Ellie yet, but Alex had said he would call her over the weekend, and Faith dreaded the reaction from her. It was easy to guess that no matter how wrong her father had been, or how cruel, she would side with him. But since she was closer to Alex, Faith agreed that Ellie should hear it from him. Especially since Zoe had heard it from her. She knew she couldn't have convinced Ellie to see it her way anyway. Faith only hoped that Ellie would try to see her side too.