Beth Ciotta - Anything but Love

“For the…” Harper texted like a fiend. “I leave town for a few days and all hell breaks loose.”

Since she seemed adept at multitasking, Sam spoke over her lightning-speed thumbs. “I assume you know the history of this house.”

“That’s why I bought it. This house, this room was lonely. Now it’s not.”

“Rocky said you don’t believe in ghosts.”

“I don’t. But I believe in kindred souls.”

Sam didn’t ask what she meant by that because he was afraid she’d break into a ramble about psychics or some other metaphysical bunk. She probably represented some semifamous TV medium or an actor who played one. She probably believed in that woo-woo shit. Probably practiced yoga on the beach and subexisted on tofu and pine nuts. He kept ticking off West Coast stereotypical attributes while she compulsively texted. He kept waiting for his sexual interest to wane.

His nads twitched, telling him that wouldn’t be anytime soon.

Damn.

“Are you going to check my cable, Rambo, or what?” she asked without looking up.

A ballbuster and seductress rolled into one.

For a split second, Sam thought about taming that sass. Except Harper struck him as a wild card and, because of the kids, he needed to play it safe. Moving toward the plasma screen he conjured visions of nuns and puppies and sweet-natured Rae. Yeah, that cooled his jets. As did the realization that he’d never once fantasized about hot and dirty sex with the woman he hoped to marry. Lovemaking, yes. No-holds-barred sex, no.

Not that he was having second thoughts, but he was.

He cursed the kink in his strategic plan.

He blamed Rocky.

Luke hated hospitals. He especially hated cooling his heels in the waiting room. Waiting to learn if a friend or family member was okay. A prognosis on a surgery or the verdict on an injury.

The last time he’d been here had been in October. Daisy had been transported to Pixley General after pedaling a rented bicycle down a steep hill for the thrill of it. Although she regretted losing control and skidding into a tree, she didn’t regret the adrenaline rush. Even though that rush had cost her a broken ankle, fractured ribs, scrapes, bruises, and a gash on her forehead. The winter before Daisy had taken Rocky’s snowmobile for a joyride. She’d fared better than the mangled Artic Cat, walking away from that wreck with several bruises and a broken wrist. Because of Luke’s grandma’s advanced age, the doctor had held Daisy overnight for observation.

Some of Luke’s uglier memories were tied up with Sam’s wife, Paula, who’d endured an invasive operation and extensive chemo treatments before ultimately losing her battle to ovarian cancer. The family had lost Grandpa Jessup, Daisy’s husband, to cancer as well. If Luke’s dad hadn’t hightailed it to Florida, the family would have been haunting this hospital every time the old man, who wasn’t even all that old, came in for treatment. But no. Jerome Monroe had spared his children and assorted relatives that misery. Rae had praised the man’s good intentions, but Luke damned his pride. Luke’s mom shouldn’t have had to bear that weight on her own. Not wanting to cause tension over the Christmas holidays, Luke had held his tongue. But, damn, he resented the way his dad had handled the situation.

“Just be glad he’s coming out of it,” Dev had said.

What would his big brother say about this situation with Rae? Dev’s first wife had miscarried scarcely five months into her pregnancy. Dev hadn’t even known for certain that Janna had been carrying his child, but he’d grieved the loss all the same. Luke had only been living with the idea of being a dad for two days and Rae was only a few weeks along. Still, he felt emotionally invested.

It was damned uncomfortable.

Wired, Luke left the crowded, stale-smelling room. He needed air. Except midway down the hall he spied his grandma and Vince Redding coming his way. That he didn’t need. He tried ducking through the nearest door, but …

“Luke?”

Busted.

Slapping on a smile, he faced the senior couple—hugged Daisy then shook Vince’s hand. “What are you two doing here?”

Daisy pushed her blingy glasses up her nose. “I could ask you the same.”

“I asked first,” Luke said.

“My ticker,” Daisy said.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” Vince said. “Just time for her checkup with Doctor Beane.”

“Couldn’t you see Doc Worton for that?” Luke didn’t like the idea of Vince driving all this way on icy roads. He seemed spry enough for seventy. Still, why take chances?

“I could,” Daisy said. “But Doctor Beane was the one who treated me when I had that mild heart attack a while back.”

“The heart attack you didn’t tell anyone about,” Luke said. “What is it with this family lately?”

“You think I’m happy my son kept his illness from me?” she said. “But I understand Jerome’s motives. Same reason I kept my brush with death to myself. It’s personal. Stop holding a grudge, Luke.”

“I’m not … How’d you know I was thinking about Dad.”

“Do I look like I was born yesterday?”

“No, ma’am.” She didn’t look her age, either. In finding herself (in her seventies, mind you) Daisy Monroe had chucked her conservative wardrobe in favor of clothing more suited to a late sixties hippie. She’d also adopted a habit of coloring her springy curls in various bright colors (this month red—in honor of Valentine’s Day). She was wearing velvety overalls, fuzzy purple boots, a lime green coat, and blingy cat eye glasses. “Don’t let me hold you up,” Luke said after glancing at his watch. “I’m sure Beane’s on a tight schedule.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, sidestepping his observation. “Why are you here?”

Hell. “A friend of mine got food poisoning.”

“Who?”

“Rae.”

“Ray Howard?” Vince asked.

“Rae as in Reagan Devereaux,” Daisy said to Vince. “Formerly Rachel Lacey. I told you about her and the false identity thing.”

“That you did. Right out of a mystery show, that one. Don’t understand why she’d fib like that, but I’m sorry she’s sick,” the older man said to Luke.

“I’ve known lots of people struck by food poisoning,” Daisy said, “They didn’t land in the hospital.”

“Must’ve been a severe case,” Vince said then frowned. “Hope it wasn’t caused by any food purchased at my store.”

“King Chow’s,” Luke said.

“Thank God.” Vince coughed into his hand. “I mean—”

“I know what you mean,” Luke said.

“We should pop in and say hello,” Daisy said, looking one way then another. “Where is she?”

Damn. “I, uh, don’t think that’s a good idea, Gram. She was feeling really lousy and—”

“But you’re waiting to see her.”

“I drove her here and I’m driving her back. Just waiting to hear if they want to keep her overnight.”

“Why did you give her a lift? Why not Sam? And what do you mean friend? You were never friends. Except for the Cupcake Lovers, Rachel kept to herself. And she only worked at the Shack a few days before disappearing and…” Daisy shifted her wiry weight and narrowed her eyes. “Lucas Monroe. Did you mess up the sheets with Rachel?”

“Rae,” Vince reminded her quietly. “And that’s none of our business, petunia.”

“You did, didn’t you?” Daisy asked Luke. “How could you? She’s Sam’s girl!”

“She’s not—”

“You can go in now, Mr. Monroe.”

The nurse who’d taken Rae into an examining room was now standing next to Luke. Her expression betrayed nothing, yet his heart hammered.

“We’re late for our appointment,” Vince said while urging Daisy forward. “Give Rae our regards.”

Daisy waggled her bony finger in Luke’s face. “We’ll talk later.”

Of that he had no doubt.

Luke followed the nurse down a side hall. She motioned him into a private room then went on her way. His pulse spiked when he noted Rae, sitting on the edge of the bed looking small and ashen and, dammit, vulnerable.

She met Luke’s gaze then broke into tears.

Gut knotted, he moved forward and pulled her into his arms. He held her close, stroking her back, making stupid hushing noises. He didn’t know what to say.

Clutching his shirt, she wept against his chest. “I … I can’t believe it.”

Luke’s stomach dropped to his toes and his heart lodged in his throat. He hugged her tighter, closing his eyes when they started to burn. “I’m sorry, Rae.”

“What? No,” she blurted between sobs. “I’m fine. Baby’s fine.”

Luke blinked. “What?”

“Baby’s fine. I’m … I’m fine. They gave me some fluids to … combat dehydration, but … everything, the baby … she’s okay.”

Luke’s pulse had gone from a dead stop to a full-out gallop. He eased Rae back and framed her tear-streaked face. “Then why are you crying?”

“I’m happy.” She dragged her sleeved arm under her nose, sniffed, then looked at him with her heart in her eyes. “Are you?”

“Yes,” Luke said honestly. He couldn’t get a grip on all the emotions swirling inside him, but relief was in there alongside happy.

“They did an ultrasound. Do you want to see?”

“Okay.” Luke dragged a hand through his hair as she reached behind her then showed him a picture that sort of looked like an X-ray. He squinted, looking for the shape of a mini-person. “I don’t see—”

“She’s only the size of a bean right now.” Rae pointed. “That’s her. See?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“You can’t tell, but at six weeks her eyes, ears, and nose are starting to form and her organs are developing.”

Luke rubbed his chest, cursed his burning eyes as he stared, and imagined a developing baby. “What if it’s a boy?” he asked. “Will you mind?”

“No,” she said, wiping away fresh tears. “Will you be disappointed if it’s a girl?”

“No.” Luke swallowed as Rae gently tucked the scan inside her purse. He had no fricking idea what he was getting into or how he was going to handle it, but he was going to be a dad. That meant forging some sort of relationship with Rae. It didn’t hurt that he was physically, enormously attracted to her.

Their eyes met and Luke’s heart jerked. They moved in at the same time and he lost himself in a kiss like no other he’d experienced. It was troubling. Thrilling. He’d never been into clingy, but there was something heady about the intensity of Rae’s embrace. Just like that first time they’d kissed. Something that made him want to cling, too.

When they came up for air, Luke dropped his forehead to Rae’s. Even though this hospital visit had had a happy ending, so many others in his life hadn’t. The memory of Sam breaking down when Paula died filled Luke with sadness and remorse. He’d encouraged Sam’s pursuit of Rae and then he’d sabotaged his cousin’s efforts. Not on purpose. Still. Amazing that he could feel happy and like the world’s biggest ass at the same time. “We have to talk to Sam.”

“I know. I’ll do it.”

“No. It has to be me. He’s not just family, he’s a good man and I…” screwed him over, “handled this badly.”

Looking miserable again, Rae rested her head on Luke’s shoulder. “What are you going to tell him?”

“That we’re involved.”

Beyond that, Luke was clueless.

Rae had never felt as close to anyone as she had with Luke during those few moments in the examining room. It made her feel wonderful and sad and sort of pathetic at the same time. She was twenty-five. She’d never had a serious relationship with a man nor did she have any close friends. Not the kind you stayed in touch with no matter where you lived or how much time went by. The only friends she’d ever had, outside of the Cupcake Lovers, had been false or transient friends. People who sucked up because of her celebrity ties or money. Friendly acquaintances who faded from her life once they no longer crossed paths on a daily basis.

Weary of being taken advantage of, she’d erected a wall years ago. She didn’t let people into her head or heart, which negated intimate relationships. She was tired of playing it safe. Tired of guarding her every thought and word. Tired of playing the martyr. She wanted to live and laugh and love. To be surrounded by good people and positive endeavors. To experience full out what she’d had a taste of that year she’d lived in Sugar Creek. She realized suddenly just how important it was to her that Luke accepted and welcomed their baby. Even though she knew she was capable of raising her child anywhere. This is where she wanted to be.