Kristen Ashley - At Peace

Then he walked to his house, let himself in and went directly to the fridge to get a beer. He twisted off the cap, flicked it into the trash bin, lifted the bottle to his lips and took a healthy pull.

Then he held the bottle in front of him, studying the label without seeing it.

Then he threw the bottle through the doorway of the kitchen. It flew into the living room and smashed against the wall.

I was running late and that sucked.

Chip hadn’t been able to install the full system that Joe had designed and Joe hadn’t been able to get to it before he had to leave so now that it was a week later and Joe was back, he was coming over to see to it.

Feb and Colt were having a barbeque and I’d promised Feb I’d go over and help before everyone showed up. I was supposed to be over there fifteen minutes ago which was fifteen minutes before Joe was supposed to show.

The girls were off as usual. Keira was coming back with her friend Heather to go to the barbeque. Kate was at work at Fulsham’s Frozen Custard Stand. Dane who, regardless of the fact that Kate had a car, took her to work and picked her up, was going to go and get her and they both were also coming to the barbeque later. I’d told Colt to tell Joe I’d leave the side door open for him and Colt had obviously done this because now I heard the side door open.

I ignored this and finished gunking my hair up with the goo that made it look so good and then rinsed my hands. Then I walked from my bathroom into the bedroom to put on my jewelry, stacking on the silver bangles, putting in my silver hoop earrings, clasping on my silver watch. I spritzed with perfume and turned to the bedroom door.

Joe was leaning in the frame watching me.

At the sight of him, my stomach tied into an instant knot.

I had no idea why he was standing there watching me. I felt all that needed to be said was said so I glanced into his eyes briefly and headed his way expecting, since I said all that needed to be said and I was pretty honest about it, he’d move out of mine.

He didn’t.

I stopped and looked up at him.

His rumbly voice was low when he said, “We should talk, buddy.”

I didn’t want to talk so I replied, “Please move.”

“Violet –”

“Move.”

“We live next door to each other, woman,” he pointed out.

“Yes and you get this done, that’s all there is,” I returned.

He straightened from the frame but stayed in my way and his voice was soft when he said, “It was good.”

I felt my mouth fill with saliva and my sinuses tingle with tears and I swallowed them both down.

“Get out of my way, Joe.”

“We both know we couldn’t take it there.”

I didn’t know that. I didn’t know anything about him. It was only him that knew that.

I didn’t tell him that, I said, “Out of my way.”

“Shit, Violet, it doesn’t have to be like this.”

I felt my head jerk but my eyes stayed pinned to his.

“No? You don’t think so? Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” I leaned into him slightly and went on. “Not man wrong, men think they can fuck anything that moves and just carry on. Let me educate you, Joe, even though you had that scene with Kenzie then weeks later you went through Nadia and God knows who else then moved on to me so you should know but, just in case you haven’t figured it out, women aren’t built that way.”

“That’s your world, buddy, lotsa women are built that way. Nadia for one.”

I didn’t believe that for a second.

Therefore, I said sarcastically, “Right.”

“Right,” he replied.

“You think that but trust me, you’re done with her, she goes home and cries into her Oreos.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know her.”

“Okay, well, I know Kenzie wanted more.”

“Kenzie wanted what Kenzie wanted and she thinks she’ll get it, no matter what it is and she acts out when she doesn’t. Christ, the bitch is thirty-two years old and she’s been married four times.”

This was true, I’d read all about it in magazines.

“Listen,” I told him, deciding it was time to end this conversation and move on, “I was supposed to be at Feb’s twenty minutes ago.”

Joe wasn’t done with the conversation. “It was sex. It’s always sex, just sex. With you, it wasn’t that. I didn’t know you lost your husband. I didn’t know the shit that was goin’ down with you.”

He was making it worse, telling me it was just sex. I knew he thought that, of course, I just didn’t really need it confirmed.

“Now you know, so get out of my way.”

His hand came up, his fingers curling around my neck and he leaned his face into mine.

“Woman, in this life, you have to have learned, you need all the friends you can get. That’s what I’m offerin’, okay?”

God, now he wanted to be my friend. It was like he was reading this shit out of a book, how to be the most insulting you can be without even trying.

I yanked my neck from his hold.

“Fuck off, Joe.”

He shook his head, still didn’t move out of the way and I noticed he looked like he was getting a little angry.

“Joe –”

“You know where I live. The offer’s on the table when you wanna grow up and put it behind you.”

I let these words bounce around in my head for several seconds.

Then instead of letting those words make my head explode, I decided to let them go.

Though, I decided not to let it go graciously. “Don’t hold your breath while waiting for that to happen. Now could you get out of my way?”

He watched me, that something, whatever the hell it was (and I told myself I didn’t care what it was), working behind his eyes. Then he stepped out of my way.

It took a lot out of me and I struggled to keep it together but I managed to walk by him, through the study, into the kitchen to grab my keys and the plate of cupcakes I’d made for the barbeque and out the door without running.

I was pretty proud of myself.

* * *

“Okay, so, that, I’ll come out of man hibernation for,” Cheryl announced.

I looked at Cheryl and followed her eyes to see that Joe had joined the barbeque.

Shit.

Cheryl and I were sitting in the grass in the sun in Feb and Colt’s backyard. My legs were out in front of me and I was wearing my little army green skirt and my violet tank top I bought at Lucky with Joe and the girls. I’d helped Feb for a few hours before people showed, making macaroni salad, whipping up devilled eggs, cutting up tomatoes and onions, forming hamburger patties, dumping chips into bowls and then carting it outside to sit on a table under a sideless tent that Colt set up. We did all of this while looking after Feb’s beautiful baby boy Jack and her cat Wilson alternately raced around the house or meowed for the treats Feb refused to give him and also while trying not to trod on the adorable German Shepherd puppy Feb bought Colt for his birthday.

This was their once a year barbeque, marking the coming of summer where they closed down the bar and had a good day with family and friends. All their employees were invited including Darryl who was a bartender, his wife Phylenda and their kids; Ruthie, a waitress; Fritzi, who cleaned the bar in the mornings; and Cheryl who worked behind the bar sometimes but was also a waitress and Cheryl brought her seven year old son, Ethan. Also there were Feb’s brother, Morrie, his wife Dee, their kids Palmer and Tuesday and Feb’s parents, Jack and Jackie. Our neighbors Jeremy and Melinda, Myrtle and Pearl were invited too (Tina and Cory were not but, according to Feb, Cory was on the outs with Tina, on the ins with his wife Bethany, and Tina was nursing her snit, not to mention Feb hated Tina because she was a bitch). Feb’s best friends Jessie (and her husband Jimbo) and Mimi (and her husband Al and their kids) and Colt’s partner Sully (and his wife Lorraine) were also there.

And now, so was Joe.

I watched him walk up to Colt who was manning the burgers, dogs and brats at the barbeque, baby Jack held to Colt’s hip. They did man nods and then Joe leaned down to the cooler by the grill and nabbed himself a cold one.

I guessed he was done with my super-sophisticated alarm system. He must be good. It didn’t take long; he was only working at it a few hours.

I sipped my margarita, glared at him and told Cheryl, “Don’t go there.”

“Hunh?” Cheryl asked.

I didn’t know her, I’d seen her at J&J’s a couple of times, she’d made me a drink or two. However, we’d been sitting out in the sun together drinking margaritas for at least thirty minutes. In some circles of American females, this meant you were automatic BFFs.

Therefore, I repeated, “Don’t go there. Player.”

“And you know this…?” Cheryl let that hang, I turned my head and just gave her a look.

Her eyes got wide then she noted, “I didn’t peg you as the type.”

“What type?”

“The type to get played.”

I shook my head. “Seein’ as I’ve had two men in my bed, my husband, who took my virginity when I was seventeen, and him,” I tilted my head toward Joe, “I’m not.”

At this news, Cheryl’s eyes got even wider. “No joke?”

I shook my head again. “No joke.”

“Wow,” she whispered.

“Wow is right,” I returned.

“What happened to your husband? Divorce?”

“He was shot in the head by a gangster.”

Her mouth dropped open, her face went pale and I felt like a shit, telling her like that. I’d never told anyone like that, hell, I didn’t think I ever told anyone. Barry, Tim’s partner, and Pam, Barry’s wife, had made all the calls.

“It was awhile ago,” I explained, my voice gentler. “He was a cop.”

The surprise slid out of her face, her hand came out and she gave my knee a quick squeeze before it moved away.

“Rough,” she murmured and I nodded to that understatement. “How long ago?”

“Year and a half.”

“Then not that long ago.”

I looked at my feet. “Nope.”

“You wanna talk?”

I looked at her and repeated quietly, “Nope.”

“You do…”

Seriously, the folks in this ‘burg were so nice.

It was my turn to squeeze her knee so I did and muttered, “Thanks.”

She turned her head and her gaze went to Joe. My gaze went to anywhere but Joe.

“Was he good?” she asked curiously.

Good wasn’t the word for it, in fact, there were no words for it.

I decided not to tell her that, instead I said, “Yeah.”

Her head turned back to me and softly, she said, “Be fun to play, hon, been awhile for me and let’s just say I’ve had a few more boys in my bed than you. But only…” she paused, “you done with him?”

I wasn’t done with him, he was done with me which totally made me done with him.

“Oh yeah, I’m done.”

“You mind?” she asked.

“Have at it,” I invited, though I had to admit it hurt, thinking of Joe moving on even though I knew it shouldn’t and I didn’t even know why it did.

It was sex, just sex, he told me so his damned self. I was an adult, I knew the score. My girlfriends who hadn’t found the man they adored at fifteen years old had been telling me stories like this for ages. Apparently, since Tim was dead, it was my turn to get fucked over by an asshole.

However, since I liked Cheryl, I added, “But check your heart at the door.”

Her brows went up. “You didn’t?”

“What?”

“Check your heart at the door.”

I shook my head again. “I didn’t fall for him but I thought there was something there. I was an idiot. It had been… losing Tim…” I licked my lips and Cheryl waited silently while I pulled it together, took a deep breath and finished. “Let’s just say, he made me feel like a moron because there wasn’t anything there. Nothing. Just sex. He was done with me fast, it lasted only a coupla days and he’s my next door neighbor.”

Cheryl was staring at me when she said, “Jesus.”

“Yep.”

She looked back at Joe, mumbling, “Maybe I’ll steer clear.”

“That’d be my advice.”

“Still, he’s hot,” Cheryl was still mumbling and I forgot about Joe and me and looked at her.

She was very pretty, a lot of blonde hair cut to hit her shoulders, fake boobs, long legs, attractive meat at her hips. She dressed kind of slutty but she worked it and it looked good on her. Her black skirt was super short, her white tank was super tight, she had on a black bra you could see through the tank and she was wearing high-heeled silver slut sandals even though we were at a backyard barbeque.