“Talk to Barry,” I suggested.

“I’m talkin’ to him.”

“What’s he say?”

“He understands a brother’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.”

Yes, Barry would understand that. Barry was as crazy as Tim and Sam.

“Sam, Barry’s a cop and he said he won’t rest –”

“And he isn’t.”

“Then let Barry do his work.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t need help.”

“Not from you.”

“Just leave it, Vi.”

I looked into my brother’s hard face for a few seconds then I turned away, swallowing and thinking maybe it wasn’t good we were so close. Maybe it wasn’t good I loved him like crazy and he felt the same way. Maybe it wasn’t good Melissa thought the world of me and my girls.

I pulled in a breath, let it out and took another sip of wine.

Then I let it go. I had no choice and I knew it. Sam was stubborn, always had been, so I whispered, “Tell Mel to come down with you next time, yeah?”

“Will do,” Sam whispered back then changed the subject again. “Who’s the big guy next door?”

My eyes moved to my brother. “What?”

“Big guy next door with the blonde chick? She your neighbor, is he or both?”

“He is. Joe Callahan.”

“Good neighbor to have,” Sam remarked.

I felt my eyebrows inch together. “Why?”

“Looks like he could crush a rock with his fist.”

“Why does that make him a good neighbor?”

“Also looks like someone you do not want to mess with.”

Sam wasn’t wrong about that.

“Again, why does that make him a good neighbor?” I asked.

“People don’t let shit happen in their ‘hoods that shouldn’t happen. He’s your neighbor, that asshole thinks to mess with you down here; I figure this Joe guy’d wade in.”

The thought of Joe Callahan getting involved in my troubles sent a chill up my spine. “Let’s just hope that asshole doesn’t think to mess with me down here.”

“He does, you should have a word with this Joe.”

That was not going to happen.

“Sam –”

“Maybe I’ll have a word, explain things, ask him to keep an eye out.”

I leaned forward again and snapped, “Don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t, okay? Seriously.”

My brother watched me then asked, “You got a problem with this guy?”

“No,” I lied quickly. “He’s just not around very often and I came down here to escape that whole mess. I don’t want everyone in my business.”

“Vi –”

“I don’t, Sam. If something happens then I’ll talk to Colt. He’s a cop, lives across the street. He’s a good guy, a good cop. It’ll be fine.”

“The dude who had that serial killer after him?”

“Yeah.”

Sam shook his head. “Christ, he’ll just love it if that asshole bleeds into his town after that mess went down.”

Sam wasn’t wrong about that either.

“Can we just enjoy your visit and not talk about this shit?” I suggested.

“We can after you answer one question.”

I sighed again then asked, “What?”

“You need money?”

Sometimes it was irritating how well my brother knew me.

I did need money. Things were tight, not to the point where food wasn’t on the table but to the point where it was a constant, nagging worry at the back of my head because I could give my girls what they needed but not a whole helluva lot of what they wanted and that sucked.

“I’m good.”

“Yeah?”

My voice got soft when I lied, “Yeah, Sam. I’m good.”

“Okay, then you use that two grand I set on your nightstand to make yourself a pretty garden.”

I felt my eyes get wide and my mouth drop open but I didn’t speak.

“And you can’t refuse it,” Sam continued. “It’s from Mel and me and Mel’ll go ballistic, I come back with that money.”

“Sam, I can’t take that.”

“You don’t, I’m up shit’s creek with Mel.”

“Sam –”

He leaned forward again. “How many times you and Tim bail me out, hunh? How many?”

“But –”

“More than two grand’s worth, a fuckuva lot more.”

“I can’t –”

“Payback, babe.”

“Sam –”

His hand came out, hooked me around the neck and pulled me across the space between the kitty corner chairs so my face was in his face.

“Payback,” he whispered.

I pressed my lips together to fight the sting of tears in my eyes. Before Melissa, Sam had been a wild one, always doing stupid shit, always coming to Tim and me to bail him out and we always did. Even though it had been years and we never expected anything in return, Sam would feel that weight pressing on him. It would live with him, right under his skin. He needed to do this, I knew it, so he could work that weight out from under his skin and I needed to let him.

I pulled in breath through my nose, nodded and I watched my brother smile.

* * *

The next morning, Joe’s truck was still in his drive but his house was quiet.

The morning after that, the morning Sam left, Joe’s truck was gone.

* * *

“Shit, Vi, sorry, I got a callout,” Colt said after he flipped his phone shut and shoved it in his back jeans pocket. He was seated at the barstool next to me at J&J’s Saloon.

I looked down at my mostly finished cranberry juice and vodka. It was my third; Morrie was currently making my fourth. I hadn’t moved from my stool for awhile so I didn’t know the extent of my drunkenness but I figured, since I didn’t drink much, I was closing in on pretty smashed.

“That’s okay,” I told Colt who was my designated driver seeing as I came to the bar with him and Feb after she caught me getting my mail from the mailbox after coming home from work. We’d called our hellos then she’d suggested I go in with her and Colt to J&J’s for a night out.

I’d said yes because it was Friday and on Fridays normal people went out to have a drink, socialize, unwind.

I’d also said yes because Kate was out with Dane and she’d asked for an hour extension on her curfew because there was some party she just had to attend. All the other kids had later curfews and she explained she’d look like a dork if she had to be home by eleven. I’d allowed this because I was a moron. I knew this party wasn’t about kids sedately drinking punch and discussing possible college applications they wished to submit. I just hoped my responsible first born would act responsible. I also hoped her boyfriend, Dane, who seemed more into Kate than she was into him (if that was possible), would take care of my daughter.

I’d also said yes because Keira was at a sleepover which meant Kate and Keira being out, the house would be empty and I’d rather be at J&J’s having a drink sitting by Colt, who was a nice guy (and proved to be a fun guy, in a light-hearted, teasing, big brother kind of way) and not home by myself yet again.

“You want me to drop you home now?” Colt asked.

Morrie slid my drink in front of me and I smiled at him then looked at Colt and, still smiling, shook my head. Colt looked at my drink then at me and he smiled back.

He turned to Morrie. “Can you get Darryl to take Violet home?”

“I’ll get a taxi,” I said quickly because I might have been heading straight toward smashed but it was Friday night and the bar was packed so I knew Morrie couldn’t afford to let his employee Darryl take a trip out to play driver to me.

“That’s cool, Vi, Darryl can take you or I will,” Morrie stated, smiling at me.

Man, he was so nice, they all were.

“Really, I’ll get a taxi,” I smiled back.

“I got her,” a deep, rumbly voice said from behind me.

I twisted on my stool, looked up, up, up and saw, standing behind me, Joe Callahan, his hair longer and more unruly, wearing his black leather jacket, a black t-shirt stretched across his wide chest, faded jeans and black motorcycle boots.

“Yo Cal,” Morrie greeted as I stared at Joe.

“Yo,” Joe greeted back.

“Great, Cal, thanks,” Colt muttered, I looked from Joe to Colt and watched Colt call to the back of the bar, “Feb, baby, got a callout.”

“All right, honey,” she called back. “See you later?”

“Yeah,” Colt replied, grinning at her then he slid off his stool, lifted a hand to squeeze the back of my neck, he nodded to Joe and Morrie then he took off.

Through this I sat there thinking firstly, that Joe freaked me out a bit considering he could come up behind me and I never heard him coming and secondly, that I didn’t want him taking me home.

I put my elbow to the bar, my head in my hand and I aimed my mouth at my straw. Capturing it, I sucked up cranberry juice and vodka and considered this dilemma.

“Beer?” Morrie asked Joe before I came to any conclusions about my dilemma.

“Yeah,” Joe replied and slid in between me and the empty stool beside me which meant he came in close to me as well as cut me off from the bar as Colt and I were sitting on the last two stools by the wall.

He didn’t sit though. He stood there even after Morrie opened a bottle of beer, set it on the bar top and walked away. Then he still didn’t sit, just took a pull on his beer, his body mostly facing me but his torso was twisted to the bar.

Then his torso twisted to me and he looked down into my eyes.

“You talk to her about condoms?”

Again, it seemed he was starting a conversation in the middle but, even mostly drunk, I knew what he was asking.

“No.”

He didn’t respond, just looked at me and I also knew what his silence meant.

“Kate’s responsible,” I explained though it was none of his business and even though my daughter was responsible, I was declaring this mostly hopefully.

“Were you responsible?” he asked.

“No,” I answered truthfully and pointing out the obvious.

He kept looking at me then he took a pull at his beer.

I aimed my mouth at my straw, captured it and sucked up some more drink.

I released my straw and asked, “Did you shovel my snow?”

His blue eyes leveled on mine. “What?”

“That day, when it snowed, did you shovel my drive?”

He didn’t answer at first then he said, “Yeah.”

When this knowledge was confirmed, I pulled in breath not knowing what to say because this was a nice thing to do and he didn’t seem like a nice guy then I settled on, “Thanks.”

He didn’t reply.

I was sucking up more vodka and juice, my head still in my hand, my elbow still at the bar when he spoke again.

“Your man gone?”

My chest got tight and my eyes lifted to his.

“What?”

“Your man, came home last week. He gone?”

I blinked at him thinking about Tim coming home and how impossible that would be, and how beautiful, then I realized what he meant.

“That wasn’t my man. That was my brother, Sam.”

He nodded and took a pull of beer. I stared at him.

Then for some stupid reason I asked, “What about your woman?”

His eyes came back to mine but he didn’t reply.

“The one you were with that night Sam came,” I prompted.

“Nadia?” he asked like I’d know her name.

“The blonde.”

“Nadia,” he stated.

“She around?” I asked, not knowing why but also thinking that I wanted to know the answer and not knowing why about that either.

“Nope,” Joe replied.

“Oh,” I whispered and aimed my mouth at my drink.

We were silent a good long while, me halfheartedly sipping at my drink, Joe standing and taking intermittent sips at his beer. This was not comfortable for me. I felt the need to fill the silence but found I had nothing to say. However, watching Joe, he seemed comfortable in some kind of zone where he, his beer and the bar were one and he was content with that.

Finally I figured out what to say. “You don’t have to take me home, I can get a taxi.”

His eyes again came to me and he noted, “You live next door.”

“Well… yeah.”

“Buddy, I can take you home.”

“What if you want to go home and I want to stay?”

“I’ll wait.”

“What if I want to go home and you want to stay?”

“I’ll come back.”

Yeesh, he had an answer for everything.

“That’s silly.”

“Why?”

“Because it is.”

This was lame but with that much vodka in me, and considering I didn’t drink much, it was all I had.

I figured he thought it was lame too because he didn’t bother to respond.