Kristen Ashley - At Peace

This sounded like good advice, simple, logical but totally impossible.

If Joe thought that simple and logical was going to work, he was in for a world of hurt living for two months with three females.

I didn’t share this with him and, since he was out of town most of the time, maybe he wouldn’t notice.

I put my head to his shoulder and said, “Okay.”

His fingertips went back to their random patterns and we were both quiet, me because I was in my head thinking about the million things there and Joe because he was Joe.

Suddenly he said, “Don’t take the job.”

I lifted my head again and looked at him. “What?”

“Manager at the garden center, don’t take it.”

I’d told him about Bobbie’s promotion at dinner. Obviously he’d been thinking about it.

I pushed up to an elbow and looked down at him. “Why?”

“Money’s the same as you’re gettin’ but it comes with headaches, headaches you don’t have now. You won’t be doin’ what you like to do, you’ll be doin’ shit you don’t like to do, workin’ the same hours, gettin’ the same pay. You want to advance, you ask her to make it worth your while. You like what you do, do what you do, fuck the promotion.”

There it was again, simple, logical and, this time, doable.

I smiled at him. “You’re right.”

Joe didn’t reply verbally. His other hand came up, slid into my hair at the side of my head, pulled my mouth down to his for a light kiss then he pressed down until I came off my elbow and my cheek was to his shoulder again. Then he reached an arm out and switched off the light.

But not before I saw the picture of Tim and me on my nightstand.

I pulled in breath through my nose; Joe’s fingers came back to the side of my head to glide through my hair, pulling it back. He repeated this then his fingers slid behind my ear, down my jaw then his hand went away.

I exhaled.

“’Night, baby,” I whispered into his shoulder.

His response was again nonverbal. His hand squeezed my ass then went back to its random patterns.

This felt nice and it was amazingly relaxing. So much so, I didn’t realize that there weren’t a million things tumbling around in my head.

Instead, I drifted right to sleep.

* * *

Cal woke when Vi’s body jolted violently.

His eyes opened when he felt her go rock solid in his arms.

He waited as he listened to her breathing heavily and was about to call to her when she slid out of his arms and across the bed.

He watched her shadow move around the bed and he rolled to his back as she walked to her dresser. She opened and closed drawers, doing it quietly. She thought he was asleep.

She closed a drawer and he watched her shadow again, this time she was pulling one of his tees over her head.

Maybe he should go to the mall with her and the girls when they went back to school shopping. He didn’t, the way she was going, he’d run out of tees.

This thought made him smile.

She came to the bed, his side, and again he was about to call her name when she reached out a hand to the nightstand. Then he watched her shadow move out of the room into the study. She turned and disappeared.

She’d been carrying something.

The photo of her and her husband.

Cal closed his eyes and opened them again when he heard her back in the room. He watched her shadow walk to the dresser and she stood at it, her hands lifted in front of her. He couldn’t see what she was doing but she was holding perfectly still.

She stood that way awhile before she moved, her hand went to the top of the dresser and he heard her drop something that made a soft clink.

Fuck.

Her wedding rings.

He’d noticed she still wore them. He’d seen them the first time he took her in fully in his living room when she was wearing those ridiculous boots and that sexy nightgown. Weeks after that, he’d thought Sam was her husband, a travelling man, the way she greeted him and he greeted her when he came to visit. He’d not thought much of her rings after their first time together but he noticed them and he didn’t like her wearing them. Never did. It might make him a dick, but he didn’t.

Now he liked that she’d be with him in bed without them on which also might make him a dick but he didn’t give a fuck.

Because now she really was all his.

She walked back to the bed and carefully slid in, obviously still thinking he was asleep, she turned her back to him and curled up her legs.

Cal rolled back to his side, his arm moved out, hooked her around the stomach and he pulled her into his body, feeling hers was tight.

“I’m awake, buddy,” he whispered into her hair.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought, while you were asleep, I’d –”

He cut her off, not about to make her say it. “I know, honey.”

She was quiet.

Cal spoke. “You came awake hard, Vi.”

She stayed quiet then said, “Nightmare.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah,” she whispered and her body started trembling.

Cal curled his arm tighter.

“Why is it harder in the dark?” Her voice was shaking like her body when she spoke.

“Demons in the dark,” Joe replied.

“Yeah.”

She was quiet again and Cal held her until the tremors subsided then she called, “Joe?”

“Yeah, buddy.”

“I miss him.”

His arm got tighter and he buried his face in her hair. “I know you do.”

“Did you like him?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“He liked you,” she whispered, Cal’s arm tensed then he forced himself to relax and she said, “Wish you could have known him better.”

“If I did, figure I woulda liked him better.”

“Yeah, you would.”

“Tell me about him, baby.”

She was silent then she asked, “Now?”

“It’ll beat back the demons.”

She again was quiet then she whispered, “You’re right.”

Then she nestled her ass in his groin, slid her arm along his and linked their fingers.

Then she talked about her brother, sometimes laughing soft, sometimes crying softer and she did this, and Cal listened to it, until she trailed off to sleep.

Cal held her tight even after she’d drifted off then his fingers slid from hers but curled around until his thumb found the naked base of her ring finger. It glided against her skin then he set her hand against her stomach and sighed into her hair, thinking, not for the first time, he really fucking liked the smell of Vi’s hair.

Then he fell asleep.

I stood at the mirror in my bathroom gunking up my hair.

I saw movement and turned to the right.

Joe was there and I watched him lean his shoulder against the doorjamb, his eyes at my hands in my hair.

For some reason known only to Joe, he’d gone with us to the mall back to school shopping and because of this, he was wearing a shirt Kate and Keira had bought for him. It wasn’t pink with flowers on it. It was black, tailored down his ribs, a straight hem and he wore it untucked but you could still see his heavy belt buckle which had caught at the bottom flap under the buttons. It looked good on him, making his shoulders seem broader, his midriff leaner, his hips narrower.

My girls had an eye.

His eyes came to mine and he said softly, “They’re here.”

I pulled in both my lips.

“They’re here!” We heard Keira shout.

“Oh shit,” I whispered, Joe grinned, pushed away from the jamb and came to me.

He positioned himself behind me and slid one arm along my belly, one across my chest. He pulled me to his body, dipped his head so his jaw was against my hair and he caught my eyes in the mirror.

“Relax,” he said into my ear.

“Right,” I said back.

He kept grinning then he dropped his head, kissed my neck, let me go and walked out of the bathroom.

Joe was quickly becoming accustomed to the fact that his ordering me to relax didn’t mean I would and, apparently, he was good with that.

I looked back at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

Then I washed my hands in preparation to go introduce my dead husband’s parents to the man who replaced their son.

* * *

I couldn’t say the last week with Joe in the house was uneventful.

It was eventful.

Very eventful.

First up was telling the girls.

* * *

They’d called the morning after Joe had moved in, waking us both up.

Joe, closer to the phone, rolled away from me and tagged it as I shook off sleep and rolled toward him.

“’Lo?” his deep, rumbling, sleepy voice growled.

I blinked sleep away.

“Yeah, girl, she’s right here.”

Girl.

Shit! He’d answered the phone, sounding asleep and told one of my daughters I was right there.

Joe calmly offered the phone to me and I got up on a hand and stared at it as if it had a mouth, that mouth was open, baring fangs and it was going to bite.

“Baby, it’s Keira,” Joe murmured his prompt and I blinked again then got up to sitting and snatched the phone from his hand.

“Hi honey,” I said into it, trying not to sound sleepy and worrying that I failed.

“Hey Mom,” Keira answered, sounding awake and bouncy like always, not traumatized in a way that meant, sometime in the future she’d enter a mall and mow down innocent bystanders with a machine gun because her Mom’s new boyfriend answered the phone first thing in the morning, sounding sleepy and definitely being in bed with her mother. “We’re packed up and just about to leave.”

“Okay, baby,” I said, curling my knees to my chest and wrapping an arm around them. “You want anything special when you get home?”

“A hot fudge sundae, your hot fudge, Fulsham’s frozen custard,” she replied instantly and that was my Keira, always knowing exactly what she wanted, how she wanted it and not afraid to say it.

“I can do that,” I told her. “What about Kate and… um… Dane?”

“Hang on a minute,” she said into my ear then I heard her shouting to Dane and Kate as I looked at Joe who was lying on his back, watching me talk to my daughter.

His face was still gentled by sleep, his jaw shadowed with stubble, his big, powerful body relaxed, one arm cocked, hand behind his head, the other hand resting on his abs. His scars were on display along with his muscles. His skin had a beautiful olive tint to it, likely given to him by his mother. It and his hair were dark against my light green sheets and this, for some reason, I found unbelievably appealing. His blue eyes were on me, so clear, so blue, so startling, I remembered the first time I saw them and how they affected me and that effect had not diminished in all these months.

I’m yours.

The words he’d said to me two days before came into my head and they hit me like a thunderbolt. So simple, so Joe, two words, two short words but put together and said by Joe their meaning packed a powerful punch.

It socked me right in the gut, so strong, I was sitting in my bed but I was winded.

Then I didn’t know why, I unfolded my legs, twisted to him and bent down. I touched my lips to his throat then rested my cheek against his chest, settling into his warm, hard body, the phone still at my ear, my other ear hearing his heartbeat.

His hand behind his head came to me, sliding into my hair and staying there.

Keira spoke to me. “Kate says she doesn’t want anything and Dane says he’d like some of your pork chops. Though, I’m thinkin’ he’s only sayin’ that because he knows Kate likes your pork chops. I told them about the hot fudge sundaes and they’re both in.”

“All right, Keirry,” I said into the phone, “though, it being summer, I think we’ll barbeque some pork chops.”

Keira was silent. I was not queen of the barbeque. Tim always grilled the food. Since he died I’d tried on countless occasions and hadn’t had much success.

“It’ll be okay, I’ve got to get the hang of it eventually. Maybe tonight’s our lucky night,” I told her.

“Maybe Joe could man the grill,” Keira suggested and I laughed at the thought of sinister, rugged Joe Callahan doing something as domestic as manning a grill.

“I can do it,” I replied.

“Great,” she muttered.

I grinned. “Get home, be safe, see you in a couple hours.”