I’d had everything once and what was more my daughters had it and in a way I didn’t think it could begin again the world had ended when that everything was ripped away, not just from me but from my daughters.

Joe was giving it back, to me and my girls.

Standing in the bathroom, I felt my side of the scale crash down, it was loaded so full by Joe.

I walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom and I didn’t look at Joe as I walked to the door and locked it. Then I turned, my eyes went to Joe in our bed and I walked to the end of it. I stood there and, as Joe watched silently, I pulled off his tee, tugged down my panties and stepped out of them then crawled on all fours up his legs. I kissed his belly then slid the covers down.

“Buddy,” he murmured.

I took him in my hand and slid him into my mouth.

“Christ, buddy,” he groaned, both of his big hands sliding my hair back at the sides and holding on.

Not knowing how to give him everything, I gave him what I could, making him come with my mouth.

When I was done, he yanked me over his body, shoved my face in his neck and his hand went between my legs and he made me come with his fingers.

That was Joe, balancing out the scales.

“You good?” Joe murmured when my heart rate went back to normal, his fingers still sliding gently through the wetness between my legs.

Yes, I was good.

Except I found just then I wanted Joe’s side of the scale to be heavier than mine.

For the rest of his life.

But I whispered into his neck, “Yeah.”

His hand slid away and he moved me to his side.

“Sleep, buddy,” he ordered softly.

“Okay, Joe,” I replied, his hand went to my hip to draw his random patterns and my mind filled with ways to unbalance our scale.

I fell asleep not coming up with much.

* * *

The nightmare came again that night. It woke me and Joe and he held me as my breathing steadied and the tremors slid out of my body.

He did this silently but when I’d recovered Joe spoke.

“Don’t like this shit, Vi.”

“It’ll pass.”

“Don’t like it,” he repeated.

“I’ll be okay.”

“You have this when Tim died?” he asked.

“No,” I answered.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“I’ll be okay.”

His arms squeezed me then he said, “Yeah.”

But he didn’t sound convinced.

* * *

On Tuesday morning while I was drinking coffee and the girls were still sleeping, Joe went out front which was something he did first thing every morning since he’d moved in. I knew why and I chose to pretend it didn’t happen.

That morning I couldn’t because Joe came back in, stood in the door and looked to me.

“Come out here, buddy.”

At first I panicked then I saw his lips twitching so I walked to the door and followed Joe outside and into my yard.

He looked to Tina’s house so I looked to Tina’s house and then stared.

The front yard, her trees, her fence, her bushes, everything was covered in toilet paper.

Once I got over the shock of seeing Tina’s white, toilet-paper-strewn yard, I let out a strangled giggle.

“Know anything about that?” Joe asked and I looked at him and shook my head.

“Nope,” I lied.

Joe looked back at Tina’s and noted, “Looks to me like Jessie Rourke’s handiwork.”

He was wrong. Toilet papering was Dee’s idea.

I kept silent.

Joe looked at me again. “We got war here?”

“War?” I asked.

“She gonna retaliate?”

I thought it was highly unlikely Tina would retaliate with Joe’s truck in my drive but she was a bitch and I wasn’t. What did I know what bitches did?

“Um…” I mumbled.

“She fucks with your yard, buddy, we got problems,” Joe warned then suggested, “so maybe you two should have words, settle this.”

“I’m sure it’ll be all right,” I assured him, not wanting to have words with Tina again.

“It isn’t, I have to wade in then it really won’t be all right,” Joe told me.

“Joe –”

“Talk to her.”

“Joe –”

He got close, tipped his chin down and assumed his sinister look.

“Buddy, talk… to… her.”

I tried to decide if I should mess with Joe when he was looking sinister.

This took half a second before I decided not to mess with Joe when he was looking sinister.

“All right,” I muttered.

“Fuck,” Joe muttered back, his eyes going to Tina’s, “I finally find a woman and she’s fuckin’ friends with Jessie Rourke and enemies with Tina Blackstone.” Since he sounded aggravated, I suggested, “I’ll make her cupcakes.”

Joe looked at me and said not a word.

I bit my lip.

Joe looked at my mouth, shook his head then slung an arm around my shoulders and walked me back into my house.

* * *

When I got home after work that night, Joe wasn’t home and neither were Kate and Keira.

I had three notes, two from Kate, one from Keira.

Note one:

Heather’s folks are taking us to Costa’s. I get to wear my new dress which looks awesome with my tan! Don’t worry, using Joe’s money to pay for mine. Will text you when I’m on my way home.

xxooxxoo-Keira

I wondered if that was old Joe money or new Joe money he’d given her to go to Costa’s. I decided to ask later when I wasn’t tired after working all day or, alternately, not to ask at all considering, being tired after working all day, my mood was unpredictable and I wasn’t sure how I felt about Joe possibly giving Keira more money.

Note two:

Joe said he’s going to the office and he��ll be home around the time you get home.

xoxoxo-Kate

Apparently Joe didn’t write notes. Luckily Kate did.

Note three:

Dane and I are going to a movie. We’ll be back around nine.

Love you!

xoxoxo-Kate

I was alone in the house (again) so I went to the mailbox, got the mail, waved to Myrtle, went back in, let Mooch out of his box then let him outside taking my mail with me to open it while I kept an eye on Mooch. Once I sorted my mail, Mooch and I came back in, I dropped the post on the counter and went to fridge, trying to decide what to make for dinner.

While standing in the fridge, I heard Joe’s truck in the drive. I closed the fridge, still not having decided what to make for dinner and moved to open a cupboard and stare into that with the hopes of inspiration striking.

Joe walked in the side door, my eyes went to him, his eyes were already on me and he said, “Hey buddy.”

I smiled at him. “Hey Joe.”

He came right at me, hooked an arm around my waist, his head bent and his mouth hit mine for a short, hard, closed-mouthed kiss.

“Where are the girls?” he asked when he lifted his head and during the time I was thinking that my mood wasn’t unpredictable anymore now that Joe was home and he’d given me a kiss (not to mention, him asking meant he didn’t know Keira was at Costa’s which meant he hadn’t given her money).

“Kate and Dane are at a movie. Keira is at Costa’s with Heather’s family,” I informed him, he nodded but made no comment so I went on to ask, “You hungry?”

“Could eat.”

“Have a taste for anything?”

His eyes got intense and one side of his mouth went up in a grin, a new look, one that made my legs wobble.

I ignored my legs wobbling and prompted him to focus, “For food.”

He let me go and muttered, “Steak.”

“We don’t have steak,” I told him.

“I’ll go out and get some,” he replied, picking up my mail and beginning to sift through it.

“I’ll make a quick list and go with you,” I told him and he again didn’t speak as I went to the fridge and got the pad of paper with the magnet on the back that was on the fridge door then I opened the junk drawer and got a pen.

I was scratching down items to go with steak when Joe spoke.

“You need to call your bank and I’ll give you Lindy’s number so you can arrange to transfer your direct debits for the mortgage to my account.”

My head came up and my surprised eyes went to him.

“What?” I asked.

He threw my mail down and turned to me, not answering my question but instead saying, “Utilities too. Lindy’ll handle it.”

“What?” I repeated.

“Mortgage and utilities to my accounts,” Joe answered and I changed my question.

“Why?”

“Why?” Joe repeated.

“Yes, um… why?”

“Live here, buddy,” Joe answered.

“Yes, but, that’s –”

Joe cut me off. “Pay my way.”

I shook my head with confusion then I got it and said, “Okay, I’m cool with that but you can just give me a percentage, a quarter is fair.”

“Pay your way too.”

I blinked, back to confused. “I don’t understand.”

Joe leaned a hip to the counter and he studied me before asking, “What don’t you understand?”

“Paying my way. I mean, that’s generous but unnecessary. And it’s really unnecessary to change the direct debits for the mortgage and utilities for just a couple of months.”

Joe’s eyebrows went up and his face darkened before he asked softly, “A couple of months?”

“Yes, if you want to contribute while you’re stayin’, I’m happy for you to do that. But you don’t have to pay it all and we don’t have to switch the direct debits because I’ll only have to switch them back and that’s a pain in the ass.”

“While I’m stayin’?” Joe asked, he was studying me even closer and he was beginning to look a little scary.

“Yes, while you’re stayin’, until your house gets renovated.”

“Sellin’ the house once it’s done, Vi, told you that.”

“Yes, well…” I trailed off because it dawned on me rather belatedly that if he was selling his house that would mean he was moving, not living next door anymore. Then it hit me that he had a place in Florida and I wondered if that was where he was moving which meant long distance relationship or, even worse, an end to “us”.

And if it was Florida that would mean an end he already knew before he even moved in.

On that thought, my mood swung straight back to unpredictable and I asked somewhat sharply, “Where are you goin’ after the house is renovated?”

“Not goin’ anywhere.”

“But if you’re selling –”

“I’m staying here.”

“Yes, but, then your house will be sold and fall is coming, winter’s after that. Are you going to Florida?”

Joe put a hand to the counter and leaned slightly toward me. “Vi, stick with me, yeah? I’m staying here.”

He was getting impatient but then again so was I.

Not to mention I wasn’t all that thrilled with him being patronizing.

“Yes, I know that, Joe. But what about after? You said you spent the winter in Florida. Is that where you’re heading?”

“No, I’m staying here.”

“For how long?” I asked.

“Jesus. For long enough to pay the fucking mortgage and utilities,” he answered, losing patience. “How long’s that say to you I’m stayin’?”

I stared at him, uncomprehending then I comprehended and my mouth dropped open.

Joe noticed and said with mild but undeniable sarcasm, “That’s it, baby, I see it’s penetrated.”

I was moving from impatient to angry, as well as still confused with just a hint of afraid, a volatile combination.

“You’re moving in?”

I watched as his eyebrows snapped together before he said, “I’m already in.”

“Yes, for two months,” I returned.

“No, for good,” he shot back.

I shook my head, stunned at this news and said, “I didn’t agree to that.”

“I didn’t exactly give you a choice, seein’ as you were playin’ games, fuckin’ another guy and I needed to stake my claim. I did, I’m here, I’m stayin’.”

The confused and afraid slid away, the angry snapped right into place.

“What did you just say?” I whispered.

“You heard me.”

“I wasn’t fucking Mike,” I snapped.

“Right,” he replied, the sarcasm less mild this time.

“I wasn’t!” My voice was rising.

Joe’s voice didn’t rise, it got lower which was even scarier. “He was caught on your hook. I’ve had a fair taste of you, Vi, man only gets that caught if he’s had a taste.”

I could not believe him.

I planted my hands on my hips and retorted, “Yes, Joe, he had a taste. That’s all he had.”