Kristen Ashley - At Peace

I didn’t know what to do with this or what Joe was doing with it so I stayed still and silent and waited.

“Fuck,” Joe repeated.

I braved the uncertain vibe and informed him, “He got even a little of you, Dane wouldn’t stand a chance,” Joe looked at me and I continued, “or Keira would make him her mission and they’d likely be fightin’ over him.”

His hand slid up my back until his fingers sifted into my hair.

“It sucks, sayin’ this, I hate to say it but I’m going to,” he said.

“What?”

“He lived, I might still be with her and you’d be next door and I wouldn’t be right here.”

Quickly, I reminded him, “For good or for bad, that didn’t happen, Joe.”

“You’d be here, alone, or… fuck, you’d be with Haines,” he went on like I didn’t speak.

I was seeing that this was heading down the way, way, way wrong path.

“Joe, don’t. Life is life, baby. That’s all it is.”

His eyes locked with mine.

“It’d never be good with her, she wasn’t gonna change and she didn’t. But, if he lived, I’d never leave her and that’s all I’d have. Except for Nicky, I’d never have somethin’ sweet.”

I set the picture on the nightstand and moved to straddle him, pushing him to his back.

“Yes you would,” I pressed my face into his neck and my lips to his skin. “I saw you, I’d go all Tina and do everything to catch your eye. Watering my flowers in a bikini and all sorts of shit. We wouldn’t be able to fight the attraction and we’d have a torrid affair,” I told him. “It would suck and I’d feel shit but you’d leave her for me and I’d pay you back by givin’ you all sorts of sweet things.”

As I spoke, my lips travelled his neck and throat and his hands started roaming my body.

“You’re full of shit, buddy. I’d see you waterin’ your flowers in a bikini, I’d come onto you and you’d go prude and freeze me out.”

I lifted my head and looked down on him just as his fingers curled around my breast.

“Joe, you fucked me on the hood of your car even when I was seriously pissed at you,” I reminded him. “I think we can take it as read I wouldn’t go prude.”

His thumb swiped my nipple, my lips parted and my hips jerked. At this, his eyes grew dark in a seriously sexy way and his lips tipped up at the ends.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “forgot about that.”

I blinked then felt my body get tight. “You forgot?”

His lips curled into a full-on smile. “Thanks for reminding me.”

Even though I knew he didn’t forget and was just fucking with me, I still heard an angry noise escape my throat and I started to pull away but Joe rolled so he was on top and his face disappeared in my neck as his thumb circled my nipple.

“We had an affair, buddy, we’d probably have to do it on the GT more than once,” he noted against my neck.

“We’d have to do it so you’d remember we did it before,” I snapped back but this wasn’t as effective as it should have been since my breathing was getting heavy and my legs were moving to tangle with his.

I felt his chuckle against my skin then his lips moved to my jaw. “We’d probably have to do it in the car too.”

“Would you remember that?”

He ignored my semi-irate question. “And be creative about other places we did it.”

“Joe –”

“In your car.”

“Joe –”

“In your garage.”

“Joe –”

“In my truck.”

“Joe!”

His mouth went to mine and I stopped breathing at what I saw in his eyes.

“You’re right, though. We would have found each other.”

My body relaxed under his and I whispered, “Joe.”

His head came up and he grinned slow. “You realize, buddy, that we’re discussing the ways I’d cheat on Bonnie.”

It struck me that we actually were and that was kind of funny therefore I giggled.

Then I said through a smile and while running my fingers along his scar, up his cheekbone and into his hair. “I met her once, honey, and I didn’t like her much so I’m not too broken up about that.”

His head came down and he kissed me through his gentle laughter.

Then he fucked me but nothing about that was gentle.

It would be later, when I was almost asleep, that I realized we’d both laughed about Bonnie but, more importantly, Joe had done it.

And I fell asleep thinking that, even though it was funny, what we said was also probably true.

And that was even funnier.

* * *

The next morning while Kate and Keira were running around like they’d never gotten ready for school in their lives, Keira working herself into a frenzy because it was her first day in high school and Joe was making them oatmeal and being calm which had no effect on them being in a tizzy, I walked out with the photo frame filled with Joe and Nicky and I put it on the shelves.

Kate saw, smiled at me but she didn’t say a word.

Keira didn’t see me because she was arguing with Joe. “But Joe, I can’t eat oatmeal. My stomach feels funny.”

“Nerves, baby, eat,” Joe replied.

“I’ll get sick,” Keira returned.

“No you won’t,” Joe said.

Keira looked at me and cried, “Mom!”

“Eat your oatmeal, honey,” I told her.

She stomped a foot on a repeated, annoyed, “Mom!”

“Keirry, the last time you vomited you were in second grade and had the flu. The last time you threatened to vomit was two days ago,” I said. “You need food or you’ll get cranky before second period. Eat your oatmeal.”

“Argh!” she shouted and then snatched up her oatmeal.

Keira ate her oatmeal and we had seven more dramas before she and Kate climbed into Kate’s Fiesta and they headed out while Joe and I waved them good-bye (well, Joe stood by me while I waved good-bye, he didn’t wave).

When they were out of sight, I turned and moved into Joe, wrapping my arms around him. I looked up at him and he looked down at me.

“Shit, my baby’s in high school,” I muttered.

“Yeah,” was his only reply.

“Shit,” I repeated, pressed my face into his chest and his fingers wrapped around the back of my neck.

“Let’s just hope she doesn’t snag a boyfriend on day one,” Joe told the top of my head.

I tipped my head back. “She’s on a mission so don’t hope too hard. You do, you’re cruisin’ for disappointment.”

Joe grinned, dipped his face to mine, kissed me and then guided me into the house.

He knew the picture was there, I knew he did. He didn’t say anything and neither did I.

I got ready and went to work and Joe got ready with me and went to his office.

Life goes on.

* * *

And life went on, safe and sweet in most ways, insane and crazed because two teenage girls lived in our house.

But that shield Joe put up was strong and held true for two beautiful weeks.

Then Daniel Hart blew it to smithereens.

Benny heard the knock on his door, his eyes opened and the woman in his bed moved. When she reminded him of her presence, he struggled to remember her name. He could remember her lips, could even call up a vision of them. Full, soft, a nice red-pink even without lipstick. Heaven wrapped around his cock especially with all her long, dark hair all around, soft against his skin. He usually liked to watch and would pull their hair back. Her hair was so soft he left it where it was.

It came to him. Carla.

She lifted her head. “Whas that?”

“Go back to sleep. I’ll take care of it,” Benny told her, throwing the covers back and grabbing his jeans from the floor.

Carla collapsed back into bed and he heard her soft snore.

He yanked up his jeans, left the room and hit the stairs, surprised her snores began immediately. He knew then that was it, she was out. Not that she’d made an impression on him, only her lips had but even if he woke up beside her and she rallied, he knew she was out. He hated snoring and he also couldn’t call up much emotion for some bitch who could hear a knock on the door in the early hours of morning and leave him to it. He wouldn’t let her do anything but he figured Violet would not go back to sleep and leave Cal to deal. She’d wait to go back to sleep when she knew he was back in bed with her, safe. And he knew she’d do this with her dead husband too. She’d do this before she learned knocks in the moments before dawn could mean bad shit had come calling. She’d do this because it was the right thing to do if you were a good person or you gave a shit about someone.

Not many good ones out there, he was thinking as he walked down the stairs. He was just glad Cal finally found himself one of them.

He stopped at the foot of the stairs and he felt a clutch in his chest when he heard the knocks coming from the backdoor not the front.

“Fuck me,” he muttered, went to the hall closet, grabbed his gun and headed back toward the kitchen.

Standing to the side of the door, he shoved the curtain partially aside and saw Frankie standing on his back stoop.

His first instinct was to open the door, shove the bitch down the stairs, close the door, walk upstairs and kick Carla out. Just seeing Francesca put him in no mood to be around any woman. But his mother would have a conniption if he put his hand on a woman in anger even if that woman was Francesca who his Ma detested, so he didn’t do this. His mother in a conniption wasn’t worth the trouble, even for the satisfaction of laying his hands on his dead brother’s bitch.

Therefore he switched on the outside light, turned the lock and opened the door, keeping his gun in his hand.

The life she led with Vinnie, Francesca had learned and she clocked the gun first.

“Benny,” she whispered.

“Say what you gotta say, bitch, and get the fuck outta my space,” Benny replied.

Her eyes lifted and the second thing she clocked was his chest. Stopping there, her face got pale, he could see it even in the dark. Stupid, greedy slut.

“Two seconds,” Benny warned and Frankie’s eyes shot to his.

“It’s Cal,” she said quickly and that feeling in his chest got tighter.

Benny opened the door further, stepped back and Frankie moved in. Benny shut the door, locked it, flipped off the light switch and grabbed her arm, yanking her into the hall.

“Benny –” she started when he stopped them in the hall.

“I got company,” he told her, his voice quiet and he saw her head tip back to look up the stairs.

“Figures,” she whispered and her voice was tight.

“You got somethin’ to say about Cal?” Benny prompted.

“Who is she?” Frankie asked and Benny pressed his lips together. Then she went on and her voice was lower but lighter. Apologetic. “Benny –”

“When’d it become your business who I fuck?” Benny asked.

“Ben,” she whispered.

“That sign went up on the restaurant, Frankie, but when it did I didn’t become a millionaire. Got no more than Pop which wasn’t good enough for you. Not gonna give you the chance to wrap your golden cunt around my cock and get me to sell into a franchise like you tried to talk Vinnie into talkin’ Pop into doin’.”

In a flash he felt her attitude hit the hall.

“You’re talkin’ that trash to me and I used to be a member of your family,” she hissed.

“You came to my house in the middle of the night with info about Cal and you’re leadin’ with this shit so brace, babe, ‘cause you brought it on yourself. You gave up your position in this family when you led Vinnie by his dick straight to Sal. I’ll remind you, this isn’t the first time after we lost him you tried to get it from me and I told you before, that shit is not fuckin’ happening. You came here to say something, say it.”

“I needed to be with someone who loved him like I did,” she snapped in her defense.

“Yeah, bet he was smilin’ down from heaven when he saw you tryin’ to shove your hand down my pants,” Benny fired back.

“We were both emotional. Things got outta hand.”

“No, nothin’ got in your hand.”

“You kissed me,” she returned.

Benny leaned in and got in her face. “Bullshit, you pressed up against me, laid it on me and I was wasted.”

“I was wasted too.”

“Woman, your boyfriend had been whacked.”

“And your brother had been whacked.”

Benny wanted to relive this like he wanted to be kicked in the gonads therefore he went silent and started counting to ten.