Apparently Jess saw that as me not loving her. I did love her, but she’d pushed me away and I’d gone and gotten me some. I realized later that that had been a bad move. But it had been real. It had been me. Jess knew that deep down I wasn’t a one-woman guy, and as much as I wanted her, I couldn’t be what she deserved.
Craving touch wasn’t a fucking sin. I had gone without it growing up and I liked affection. I liked how good a woman made me feel. My sister wanted me to get counseling because she was sure our childhood had screwed me up. But I was fine. Life was good and I didn’t need a psycho shrink telling me why I liked to fuck women.
Chapter Four
BLYTHE
The rest of the week went by without one sighting of Krit. He didn’t even have any parties. Although, the day after I had gone upstairs to quiet the last party, I had come home from the library to find an iPod and a set of earbuds by my door. A small note read, To help with your loud neighbor’s noise.—K.
I had looked for him over the next couple of days to tell him thank you. The iPod had been stocked with more than two thousand songs. It seemed I never ran out of something good to listen to. After I didn’t see or hear him for seven full days, I realized that maybe he was avoiding me.
It was what I’d expected, but it still hurt more than I wanted to admit. For a moment I thought maybe he could look past all that was wrong with me, and I could finally have a friend. That, however, wasn’t the case.
Today I started college. I had World Literature and Physics 101, and then I had a meeting with my new boss. Pastor Williams had set me up to work with a pastor at a local church. I wasn’t sure what Pastor Williams had told this pastor about me, but he seemed sure that I would fit in there just fine. The fear that this new pastor would take one look at me and throw me out had been weighing on my mind. If an eyeliner-wearing tattooed rocker could see the faults in me, then surely a minister of a church could.
But worrying about that wasn’t going to fix anything for me. It would only make matters worse. I brushed my hair one more time and stared at myself in the mirror. I had decided to wear a pair of jeans today with the nicer blouse I had purchased, the one that matched my pink heels. I wasn’t sure what the church expected me to wear to work, but since I was just meeting with the pastor today, I figured this outfit would do. I made sure I had my glasses in the backpack I had my laptop tucked safely inside of. Once I was sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I headed for my car.
Getting through both of my classes without getting lost and making sure I took good notes had been easier than I’d anticipated. I felt good about my professors. I hadn’t spoken to anyone, but that was okay. I didn’t have to make friends. I wasn’t there for that.
The church I would be working at was a Baptist church much like the one I had grown up in. From what I could tell, it was one of the larger ones in the town. The coastal appearance was something I hadn’t been expecting, but I liked it. Something about that made the church feel less like home. I didn’t need any reminders of the life I left behind. Walking into a church was literally terrifying for me. I had made many of my worst memories in a church.
But this was the job Pastor Williams had set up for me. They were willing to work around my classes, and the pay was enough for me to get by and live comfortably. If this didn’t work out, I was going to have to find another job on my own, and I wasn’t sure what I was even qualified to do.
I pulled the backpack strap up higher on one shoulder and walked inside the front doors. The smell of coconut met my nose, which was odd. Our church never smelled like suntan lotion. It smelled like flowers. Lots of flowers. This place even smelled like the beach. I relaxed as I looked around at the casual atmosphere. The church wasn’t decorated like any one I had been to.
“Can I help you?” a masculine voice asked, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I spun around to see a guy not much older than I was. I was sure he wasn’t the pastor. No pastor I knew was this young and this handsome. His dark brown hair was cut short, and his green eyes sparkled. Wide shoulders and really nice arms were as far as I got in my study of him when he cleared his throat.
Snapping my head up, I met his gaze. His smile was now amused. Crap. I was acting like an idiot. “Uh, yes. I’m here to meet with Pastor Keenan. I have an appointment,” I explained without tripping over my words like I normally did when attractive guys spoke to me.
“You’re Blythe Denton?” he asked as his eyes went wide in surprise.
I only nodded. How did he know my name?
“Not what I was expecting. Wow. Um, yeah, okay. Uh, I’m pretty sure you aren’t what Dad was expecting either. Just, yeah, okay.” He stopped and chuckled, then shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but this could not be Pastor Keenan. Something was bothering him though. “Dad?” I asked him, unable to keep the nervous edge from my voice.
“Dad,” he repeated, staring at me blankly. Then he blinked and turned his head, grinning as he looked down the hallway. “Yeah, my dad. Pastor Keenan is my dad, and your meeting is with him.”
Okay.“Is he here?” I asked.
He nodded and took a step toward me and held out his hand. “I’m Linc Keenan. It’s nice to meet you, Blythe.”
I slipped my hand into his for a polite handshake. “Thanks,” I replied.
When he let my hand go, he nodded toward the hallway. “This way.”
Good. That had been awkward, but I liked Linc’s smile. He seemed sincere and kind. I had never actually liked pastors’ kids before. I had met many of them when they’d come to visit the church with their parents. They’d always either treated me badly, or given me the creeps. If it hadn’t been one of their daughters making fun of me, it had been one of their sons looking at me funny. One had even gone as far as touching me and covering my mouth so that I hadn’t been able to scream. He had said he knew I was a dirty slut because he’d heard the gossip. He just hadn’t been told how hot I was, and he’d said he wanted a taste of my pussy. I had started crying as he shoved his hand down my pants. Luckily, Pastor Williams had shown up and ordered him to leave. Then he sent me to my room for the rest of the weekend.
It was never discussed. No one ever asked me about it or checked on me. I was just told to stay in my room. I had been terrified and humiliated.
Needless to say, my experiences with pastors’ kids hadn’t been pleasant. I just really wanted this job to work out.
Linc led me to the room. “Let me go in and speak to my dad and tell him you’re here. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable. I won’t be but a minute.”
I nodded and sank down to wait on the soft tan leather sofa. The decor in the room was also bright and laid-back. A palm tree was in the corner, and bamboo plants adorned the end tables and front desk. The smell of coconut lingered in there as well. I noticed several candles that were in rustic-looking metal tins sitting around. They obviously used them often.
The door to the pastor’s office opened, and an older version of Linc stepped out of the room. His eyes locked on mine. A smile lit up his face as he smiled at me. I stood up quickly and nervously fidgeted with my backpack.
“I was at your dedication nineteen years ago, but seeing you standing there all grown-up, it’s hard to believe that’s you.”
This man had been at my baby dedication? Pastor Williams hadn’t told me that.
“You sure have turned into a lovely young woman. But then Malcolm had said you had grown into a beautiful intelligent woman. I just wasn’t prepared to see it.”
Malcolm was Pastor Williams’s first name. I knew that, but I had never called him by it.
“Thank you,” I replied, feeling the need to say something but not sure what I was supposed to say to this man.
He stepped back and waved for me to come into his office. “I see you’ve met Lincoln. He will be meeting with us. We have been without a secretary in the office for two weeks now, and Lincoln has been filling in, but I can assure you that we are all ready for him to go back to his other job. He’s not very good at this one.” There was a teasing tone in Pastor Keenan’s tone.
I smiled and glanced over at Linc, who was leaning against a bookshelf, his arms crossed over his chest and a pleased smile on his face. He was ready to hand over the secretary position to me. I understood his excitement about me being there now.
“I would have started last week had I known you needed me. Pastor Williams said that I wasn’t supposed to come in until today,” I explained, feeling guilty for not coming in sooner.
“Malcolm wanted to make sure you had time to get settled and ready for your courses before you started work. I agreed with him. Besides, I think my son actually got better over the last week.”
I glanced at Linc again. His grin was still in place, but he rolled his eyes as if he was amused with his dad.
“Okay, well, thank you. It didn’t take me too long to get settled in though,” I said, feeling the need to say something. I wasn’t good with small talk.
“Good. I’m glad you’re ready to dive in. Please, have a seat. Can Linc get you a water?”
I shook my head and sat down in the black leather high-backed chair that sat across from the pastor’s desk. But instead of going to sit behind his desk, Pastor Keenan sat down in the chair beside me. Then he leaned back and smiled as he studied me.
“You will definitely be well received here. I imagine my daughter will be up here soon enough when she hears about you.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet his daughter.
KRIT
I had been stopped outside Blythe’s apartment staring at her door for at least five full minutes. Since the night of the party, I had avoided her. Not sure why, because it wasn’t like she was one of those females I had to avoid. She never knocked on my door or made any attempt at contact at all.
Secretly, I had been hoping she’d show up at my door all on her own if just to thank me for the iPod and earbuds I’d left her. Not that she had needed them this week. I had moved all parties to Matty’s place. Blythe, however, never showed up. Not even in passing. So maybe I hadn’t been avoiding her. Maybe she had been avoiding me.
And why the fuck did I give a shit?
“I’m not there.” Blythe’s voice filled the hallway, and I jerked my gaze from her door to find her standing at the top of the stairs.
Holy hell, she had on tight jeans with a pair of fucking pink heels. I let the image of her legs showcased in the jeans burn a spot in my memory as I trailed my gaze up them slowly. The clingy material of her shirt was cut in a modest enough style, but damn, it hinted at the body underneath.
“I haven’t seen you all week.” Her voice sounded nervous. “I wanted to thank you for the iPod. You didn’t have to do that.”
I mentally slapped myself and focused on her face and the words coming out of her mouth. She wasn’t like normal girls. She was shy and unsure of herself. I had to remember that or I’d scare her away. Not that I could do anything with her. She would be too fragile for me.
“Uh, yeah, I did. Now I won’t feel like an ass when we have a party,” I replied with a smirk.
She grinned and reached up to tuck a strand of her long silky dark brown hair behind her ear. That hair was fascinating. As if she needed one more attractive feature on her already-perfect body. “I appreciate it. I really do. I started my classes today, so studying will soon be of extreme importance.”
She moved toward her door and unlocked it before glancing back at me. I wasn’t ready to let her disappear inside just yet. She was more comfortable talking to me today. I was suddenly curious. I wanted to hear more about her.
“Would you like some coffee?” she asked as she opened the door.
“Yeah, I’d love some,” I replied, thankful for a reason not to leave.
She smiled at me, and I swear to God, the entire world around her lit up. How the fuck was this girl alone? Where was the man hovering over her and protecting her from every bad thing that came near her? She was too fucking unreal. Did her family think it was smart to just send her off like this? Were they idiots?
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