As my wide eyes stared into Erik’s, time seemed to stop for a second. A horrible sinking feeling tried to drag me down through the carpet with the truth of what he was about to do.

Erik’s head jerked at the sound of someone banging on the bedroom door, and a wild look filled his eyes. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, I swung my arm off the floor. My fist connected with the corner of his mouth, snapping his head to the side.

He reared back, grunting as blood and spit flew from his busted lip. He grip loosened on my arms, and I twisted to my side and opened my mouth to call out.

“Fucking bitch,” he ground out, slamming his fist into my lower back. A perfect kidney punch that immobilized me.

“Tess!”

Jase—it was Jase!

The door groaned as he beat it. “Are you in there? Are you okay?”

I reached out toward the door, my fingers digging into the carpet. “Jase—” His name ended in a grunt.

Erik rolled me over, and I was suddenly staring into the eyes of someone who’d come unhinged. Eyes that I was sure Debbie had stared into countless times and were quite possibly the last thing she’d seen.

Terror caught me in an unbreakable grip and a scream tore through me, piercing the air and then cutting off abruptly as Erik’s hand circled around my neck, closing in.

The door rattled on its hinges. “Tess! What the fuck? Tess!

Panic dug in deep with its sharp, icy claws. His grip was bruising, cutting into my windpipe. I opened my mouth to scream again, but there was no sound—no air! Heart pounding, I slapped him and then caught his chin with my fist. He yelped, but his hold remained.

“Tess!” called Jase. The door rocked, sounding like he’d rammed it with his shoulder. “Goddamnit!”

Stars burst behind my eyes, and I couldn’t—I couldn’t drag in enough air. I clawed at Erik’s hands, feeling his skin tear under my nails. The door shuddered again, but it wasn’t going to give in time.

“Stop it!” Erik lifted me up and then slammed my head back down. “Just stop!”

Darkness crept upon the corners of my vision, crowding my sight. A fiery burn flamed deep in my chest, spreading rapidly into my throat. I needed to breathe!

“Teresa! Baby,” shouted Jase, and the sound of his voice shot a bolt of desperate strength through me. The door shook and groaned. “Come on . . .”

Using everything in me, I beat on Erik’s chest—his face and shoulders. I rolled my hips, trying to throw him, but he pushed down and down, and it felt like I was floating through the floor, slowly disappearing into the waiting abyss. I knew I shouldn’t let go, that I must not, but my hands slipped down, arms falling to my sides.

In the background, something shattered. Maybe it was the last of my oxygen-deprived cells. I didn’t know what, but Erik’s dark eyes latched onto mine, and I was sure that this was it. My lashes drifted shut. He was going to be the last thing I saw, just like Debbie. And it wasn’t fair. I hadn’t even begun to live life, to embrace this new future or to get Jase, because if I’d survived this, I wouldn’t let him walk away. Not anymore. But . . . but it didn’t matter now. My hearing dwindled until there was only a fine point, a roaring of blood.

Suddenly the unbearable pressure was off my throat and air rushed in as a pained grunt filled the room. Something broke—snapped like old, dry twigs and it sounded far away, like it was outside.

Hands pressed against my cheeks and then arms lifted me. My head felt too heavy, floppy. Like there was something wrong with my neck. “Oh God, open your eyes. Come on baby, open your eyes.” There was a pause, and his large body shuddered. “I’m sorry. Fuck. Open your eyes. Please.”

It felt like my lids had been glued shut, but I pried them open. All I saw was Jase’s deep gray eyes, darker than I’d ever seen them.

“There you are,” he said, cradling me closer. “Stay with me. Tess! Oh God, don’t leave me. Please. I . . .”

His lips were moving, but the words didn’t make sense, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. There was nothing but darkness.

Twenty-nine

The steady sound of beeping slowly, insistently drilled through the layers of haze and sleep until I felt my chest rise with a deep, shuddering breath.

“Teresa.” What I was lying on shifted as weight settled beside me. A hand pressed against my cheek, cool and comforting. “Are you there?”

Was I? I thought so. My surroundings slowly came into play. I was in a stiff bed, and it was my brother’s voice I was hearing. My head felt weighted down, though, like I was glued to the mattress.

I slowly blinked my eyes open and winced at the bright overhead lights. Once my vision cleared, it was obvious I was in a hospital room. The white walls, mounted TV, and pea green curtain were a dead giveaway.

“Hey,” Cam said gently. “How are you feeling?”

Turning my head to him slightly, I ran my tongue over my the roof of my mouth. “I feel . . . strange.” My voice was hoarse, and my jaw ached from speaking those three words.

“You’ve been sleeping for a little while, long enough for the parents to get down here and then some.” Cam smiled wearily as he reached for a pitcher and poured water into a small, plastic cup. “Mom and Dad are down the hall talking to the police.”

The police? I stared at him dumbly as he played Mr. Nurse, carefully reaching around to the back of my neck and helping me take a drink. The cool water was like jumping into a pool on a hot, sweltering day.

He placed the cup on the bedside table. A sudden look of understanding crept across his face. “You don’t remember, do you?”

I shook my head and then grimaced as a sharp pain arced between my temples. Cam glanced at the door as if he wanted to run out and get someone, but he placed his hand over mine, drawing my gaze to my knuckles.

They were red, scratched, and swollen.

I jerked up halfway, muscles and skin protesting the unexpected movement as the fog cleared from my head. “Oh my God . . .”

Concern flared in Cam’s eyes “You remember?”

“Erik. He—”

“I know. We all know. You don’t have to worry about him anymore,” Cam said, gently pressing his hand down on my shoulder so I was lying down. “You need to stay still. You have a concussion—a minor one but you can’t be moving around a lot. Okay?”

My heart was pounding as I took in the IV hooked to the center of my arm, pumping clear fluids in. That horrible snapping sound came back to me, reminding me of bones breaking. “Is he dead?”

“Fuck. I wish.” Anger stormed across his face. “Jase broke his jaw and knocked him into next week, but the fucker’s alive. He’s going to jail, though. He woke up when the police and EMTs got there, blabbering what he did to Debbie to anyone who’d listen. He kept saying it was . . .” He trailed off, his mouth pressing down in a hard line.

“He said it was my fault,” I finished for him, closing my eyes as the memories of Erik’s rage and flat-out madness resurfaced, but a different worry took hold. “Where . . . where is Jase?”

Cam looked away when I opened my eyes. “The last I saw him he was with the police.”

“What?” I started to sit up again, but he stopped me. “What do you mean?”

“He’s not in trouble. He had to talk to them, like I’m sure you’ll have to now that they know you’re awake.” He paused. “They needed a statement.”

“How long ago was that?”

Cam shifted like he was uncomfortable. “They held him back when they took you to the hospital. I haven’t seen him. I came straight here when I found out.”

He hadn’t seen Jase at all? Meaning he hadn’t checked on me? I closed my eyes and smacked at the useless emotions. Jase said he’d wanted to talk. He’d come and he’d saved my life. Just because he wasn’t here didn’t mean I needed to throw a fit. Besides, I had bigger things to deal with.

When I opened my eyes, Cam was staring at me. Several seconds passed. “You’re really in love with him, aren’t you?”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

He shifted and then cursed under his breath. “I know you didn’t want to hear this before, but you’re going to listen now. The fucker is stupid, but the fucker loves you.”

I opened my mouth.

“Yeah, I know he pushed you away or whatever, but he’s a guy and he’s stupid. Hey, I can admit that. We do stupid shit.” Cam leaned over, lowering his voice. “He sort of reminds me of Shortcake—of Avery—you know? She was like that in the beginning. For different reasons, but she . . . she had her own issues she had to work through. And I think that’s what he was doing. I don’t know. I’m not him, but Jase has got some baggage.”

“I know,” I said quietly, blinking back tears. Everything about Jase was complicated. It always had been, and I wasn’t sure that the only thing he needed to do was to work through his issues. Some things people just couldn’t get past.

Cam lowered his gaze and then took a deep breath. “You know, he told me a while back that you feel guilty about what I did to Jeremy.”

Surprised, my eyes widened as I stared at him.

“You shouldn’t.” His head rose and he looked straight at me. “I did that to Jeremy, and I’d do it again. It was never your fault. Okay? It doesn’t matter that you kept quiet. Trust me, I know how people keep shit to themselves, storing it away until the silence fucking destroys. You were a kid basically, and I knew what I was doing. And the only thing I regret is that you feel guilty for something I chose to do.”

I don’t know what it was that did it. A little bit of the weight had lifted after Jase had talked to me, but the massive gorilla with an overeating problem finally got the hell off my chest. Pure, sweet relief crashed through me, and it was like being tossed in the middle of a storm. Tears crawled up my throat and built behind my eyes.

“Teresa, don’t cry.” Cam frowned. “I didn’t—”

“I won’t.” I sniffed a couple of times, forcing the waterworks to stop. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.”

I didn’t say anything, because he didn’t need to hear it but I knew it. Cam saying those words was equal to being tossed a lifeline. I grabbed it and held it close. “I love you like I love cupcakes.”

A wide and real smile raced across his face. “You dork, I love you too.”

It wasn’t long before Mom and Dad arrived in the room. Dad looked murderous. So did Mom, but she hid it better. They all but pushed Cam out of the way and clucked over me until the police showed and I gave them my statement. Retelling the time spent in that room with Erik wasn’t easy. I liked to think I was a strong person, but a fine series of quakes had taken hold of me when I got to the part of him admitting that he’d killed Debbie and staged it as a suicide. The shudders increased as I told them how he hadn’t planned on walking out of the room.

Erik had planned to kill me and then himself. He’d said her death was my fault, but he had to have felt guilt if he planned to off himself. He might have buried it deep, but it was there. It had to be. I refused to believe that he’d live the rest of his life feeling completely guiltless.

Dad picked up my uninjured hand, tucking it under his chin as a young deputy closed a small notebook. “That’s all we’ll need for right now,” he said, backing away from the bed. “Get some rest and we’ll call you if we have any more questions.”

“You’ll call me if you have any more questions.” Dad straightened, eyeing the officer as he slipped into lawyers-are-the-devil mode.

The deputy nodded and left, quickly replaced by a doctor and a nurse who looked younger than me. I was poked and prodded and endured a bright light in my eyeballs. Light pain meds were pumped through the IV, and by the time they’d kicked in, my tummy grumbled and I was feeling sort of normal as Mom tucked the thin blanket around my chest. “You’ll be out of here tomorrow, and your father and I were thinking it would be best for you to come home with us instead of waiting on Cam.”

Sitting in the corner, Cam made a face at me.

“We would feel more comfortable,” Dad added, squeezing my hand. “We really would.”

“You’d feel more comfortable if she dropped out of school and lived with you for the rest of her life,” Cam said.

Mom cast him a sharp look over her shoulder. “After what just happened? Yes. I want her under my roof for the next three decades.”

“Only three?” I murmured.

She pressed her lips together. “There is no reason for her to stay down here until you come up on Christmas Eve.”