Beautiful Misery

Book 2 The Beautiful Series

By Chandin Whitten

I am in misery

And there ain’t nobody who can comfort me

Oh yeah

Why won’t you answer me?

The silence is slowly killing me, oh yeah.

Girl you really got me bad

You really got me bad

And now I’m gonna get you back

Now I’m gonna get you back.

Maroon 5


I want to thank my amazing husband and all his support and sacrifices. He has been my biggest cheerleader (too bad I couldn’t get him to put on my old uniform and wave the pompoms around) and support system. Without him I never would have had the balls…well vagina, to write. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. You can piss me off better than anyone, but you’re the only one who can make me smile. Thanks for not getting jealous of my many one night stands with Gage and Larkin, as well as the many hotties in the future. But really, who couldn’t love a tatted & pierced, muscled up man? Next, my two beautiful and crazy little ladies. Momma loves the hell outta you, Bella & Macy. There were times when I was writing and I would be so pissed I would want to slam my laptop against the wall. Then, Bella would open her pretty little mouth and spew the fuck’s, shits, and damn’s I was thinking of saying, making me laugh. Ya, I’m a bad mom…get the fuck over it. I laugh when my kid cusses..big fuckin’ deal! Love my munchkin monsters!

Annie & Heather. God I fuckin’ love you bitches! Thank you for being available any time of day or night, like my own personal whore. Always there to answer my dumbass questions or to send me virtual coffee & cupcakes. You ladies have put in just as much effort and time into my writing as I have. I would be lost without all your help. God knows how needy I can be…and thankfully you two are there for me.

My friends & family who have supported my crazy dream to be a writer. Thank you! This has been an amazing journey and it’s only beginning.

My smutty sisters- Thank you for all the late night lovely pictures for inspiration. And, for all the laughs and hilarious stories to make my long coffee filled nights a little less draining. I love you all!

To my football floozies, thank you from the bottom of my heart (that’s saying a lot…my heart is kinda like stone) thank you. I have got to meet so many wonderful people through my writing. I wouldn’t be anybody without y’all.

Much love, peace, and sexy men,

Chandin Whitten xox


For my Father In-Law, Garth Whitten.

1.23.1958 – 7.24.2013

He inspired so much of this book.

He inspired me.

He brought out emotions in me I didn’t know existed.

He taught me to fight with everything I had.

He taught me when you get knocked down, you simply stand back up. You brush the dirt off with your middle finger in the air, and say you hit like a bitch.

He taught me to be Cowboy Strong.

Fuck Cancer!

We’ve got to hold on to what we got

‘Cause it doesn’t make a difference

If we make it or not.

We’ve got each other and that’s a lot

For love- we’ll give it a shot.

Whooah we’re half way there

Livin’ on a prayer.

Take my hand and we’ll make it- I swear

Livin’ on a prayer.

Bon Jovi



Groaning, I rolled over only to come face to face with some naked brunette. Using my hands I scrubbed my face and sighed. She must have heard me because her makeup smeared eyes popped opened.

“Morning, sexy.” The unknown girl purred.

Attempting to climb on top of me I placed my hands on her tiny shoulders and pushed her off. Shaking my head I said, “Don’t think so sweetheart. You can get dressed and go. I’m going to get a shower and when I get out I expect you to be gone.”

The girl huffed, “You really are an ass.”

Shrugging I replied, “But you still came back to my house. You got what you wanted and I got what I wanted, so you are free to go.”

With no shame the girl climbed from my bed, she was beautiful but she wasn’t my girl. She wasn’t Jenna, no one was. Closing my eyes, pictures of Jenna flashed through my mind. It had been eighteen months since she walked away from me. Eighteen months of hell. I always knew she would pick Larkin, and he was right for her, for their family. But it still hurt. I wanted to see her happy and she was, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. When we were around each other or on the phone I acted like nothing was wrong. I acted as if my life was amazing as NFL football star, Gage Tucker. I never let on as to how hurt I was, how broken I had become. Giving her to Larkin nearly tore me apart, but I held it together for her, to see that she was happy. She deserved it, after everything she had been through, no one in the world deserved happiness more than her.

A tapping on my shoulder brought me back to reality. Opening my eyes I glared at the girl. “What?” I bit out.

She smirked and said, “Know where my panties are? Someone was impatient last night and tossed them, now I can’t find them.”

Using my thumb and pointer finger I rubbed my eyes hard only stopping to pinch the bridge of my nose. “Fuck. I don’t know. Can’t you write down your address? If I find them, I will mail them to you.”

Crossing her arms, random girl pursed her lips and bit out, “You can’t be fucking serious? I am not giving you a free souvenir while I walk away with nothing. Give me something of yours.”

Completely naked, I jumped from my bed and stomped to my dresser. Yanking open the top drawer I grabbed the first pair of boxers I saw and tossed them at her. “There, now get out.”

Not waiting for her to say anything I stomped into my bathroom and slammed the door, locking it behind me. Turning on the shower I waited until I heard my apartment door slam shut before I got in. The hot water stung as it hit my skin, I found it calming. This sting was nowhere near the sting I felt every day, coming home to nothing. Walking into an empty apartment I had picked out for the family I thought would be living here. Instead, that family was on the opposite side of the country.

When the water started to chill I shut it off and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my waist. Opening my bathroom door I padded across my room to my dresser. I was halfway through pulling my sweatpants up when I heard voices coming from the other side of my bedroom door. Figuring the random girl hadn’t left, and in fact had stayed and invited friends over I threw open my bedroom door and yelled, “What the fuck are you…”

I stopped mid-sentence as the cutest little girl came bouncing toward me. Just as she jumped, I picked her up and hugged her tight.

“Unky Gage! Mama has pwize fa you.” Evie giggled.

Looking up from the sweetest face I saw Jenna and Larkin, holding hands and smiling. Burying my jealousy I plastered a smile on and walked to them. Still holding Evie I wrapped one arm around Jenna’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Jenna stepped away as Larkin and I shared a man hug.

Jenna used her fingers to move Evie’s wild hair out of her eyes then stared at me before asking, “Who were you yelling at?”

Not wanting to tell her the truth but not wanting to lie I chewed my bottom lip for a minute then said, “I had a few people over last night. I told them to leave a while ago and when I heard voices after I got out of the shower, I figured she…err ugh they were still here.”

Evie wiggled and I sat her on the floor and watched her run down the hall to the room with all her toys.

Turning back to Jenna and Larkin they were both smirking at me. Jenna was the first to say something. “She, huh?”

Larkin clapped my back and laughed. “Man, it’s a wonder there isn’t a thousand little Gage’s out there running around.”

Smiling I shook my head and said, “Fuck off. Your gorgeous little girl said you had a surprise. What is it?” Larkin kissed Jenna’s cheek and I couldn’t help the jealousy that ripped through me but I held my smile and waited.

Jenna had the biggest smile as she spoke, “You like being Evie’s uncle, right?” I nodded and she continued, “How would you feel about being an uncle of three?”

Not connecting the dots I pulled my brows together and asked, “Dylan knocked someone up? How do you know that before me?”

Larkin and Jenna both laughed. Then Jenna shook her head and said, “No, I’m knocked up. This fucker did it double time this time. I’m having twins.” Jenna rubbed her hand over her belly, I could see it now. She had a small bump in her stomach.

Looking between Jenna and Larkin I finally said, “Wow, congratulations. But, is this safe? Will you and the babies be okay?”

They both nodded their heads and Jenna said, “Yes. I will obviously be high risk and will most likely end up on bed rest but my doctor said everyone should be fine.”

I pulled Jenna into a tight hug then clapped Larkin’s shoulder. “So who else knows?” I asked.

Jenna bit her lip and answered, “No one. I just found out a few weeks ago. We went home a week ago and I had to hide it from everyone. Kota was in some trouble. He’s now in rehab and hopefully he gets out and stays clean.”

Kota had been like my little brother. With a concerned voice I asked, “What was going on with him? Is he safe? Where is he at for rehab?”

Jenna looked at Larkin, I could see her tears building. Looking back at me I saw so much hurt as she spoke, “He hasn’t taken dad’s death very well. Basically he feels abandoned. He turned to drugs and I think he was drinking too, maybe having sex. But Larkin talked to him and got him to go to rehab. He’s at Gulf Coast Rehab for twelve weeks.”

Nodding my head as I let all the information I was just given absorb, I raked my hands through my hair, clasping them behind my head. “So, he’s going to be ok?”

Both Jenna and Larkin nodded.

“I hope so, your mom doesn’t need anything else happening to her. So why did you fly all the way to NYC to tell me your pregnant?”

Jenna ducked her head and said, “Well, we are waiting until Evie’s birthday so we can tell everyone together. And since you said you weren’t sure if you would be able to make it to her party we decided to come here and tell you.”

Smiling I said, “I told you I wouldn’t be in town on her birthday. I never said I wouldn’t be at her party. You’re having it in Fairhope, right?”

Jenna nodded, looking confused. “Yes. If it’s nice we want to have a beach party. She loves the ocean. And instead of trying to have everyone fly to San Diego we opted for Fairhope. Only a few people would have to fly in for that.”

“Look at you being all considerate,” I joked.

“Ass,” Jenna said as she smacked my shoulder.

“But, I will be at Evie’s party. I couldn’t miss my favorite little girl’s birthday. I am actually leaving in a few days to go to Fairhope. I’m looking into opening a bar on the beach in the old Surfer’s Soul place. If I do, I will be in Fairhope for a while, probably until I have to be back here for football.”

“That is amazing. I am so proud of you. You have always said you wanted a place like that on the beach,” Jenna said excitedly.

“We better get free drinks, fucker,” Larkin joked.

“I figured I might as well do it know, while it’s just me and I don’t have someone telling me what I can and can’t do.” I winked at Larkin. Jenna narrowed her eyes at Larkin when he started laughing.

“No, man. It’s not like that at all. Life is all fuckin daisies and lollipops.” Larkin’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

Jenna scowled as she said, “You both can go to hell. I’m going to check on my girl.”

Larkin and I both watched as Jenna walked away. Larkin shook his head and said, “God, I fucking love her.”

Giving him a sad smile I whispered, “Yeah, me too.”

Larkin didn’t hear me or ignored my comment. He instead started walking after his wife, the women who was at one time my best friend and had my ring on her finger. I sighed and followed Larkin.