Christina Lee - Before You Break

I removed her hand from the front of my jeans and then knelt down and kissed her stomach, which quivered at my touch. I flicked open the button on her pants and then looked up at her. Her eyes were filled with so much desire, it was all I could do not to throw her on that bed and sink myself deep inside of her. Lose myself in her. Claim her as mine.

But she wasn’t mine. Not yet.

“I want to see you, Ella. All of you.”

When she threaded her fingers through my hair, that was all the permission I needed. I rolled her jeans down her hips and she kicked them off. I grabbed hold of her ankle, momentarily studying the dragonfly tattoo I’d wanted to ask her about.

I didn’t want to break this spell we were under, so I kept going, kissing up her calf to her knee. She wore little blue panties and I wanted to rip them off with my teeth. My fingers traced up and down her thighs and then thumbed beneath the edges of her lacy underwear.

“You’re so damn sexy, Ella,” I whispered. I heard how her breath caught. “You make me want to do naughty things to you.”

“Is . . . is this part of that fantasy you were talking about?”

“Fuck yes,” I said, adjusting myself on my knees and then palming her sweet spot through the thin material. “I want to kiss you, Ella. Right here.”

“Oh God, Quinn,” she said, panting.

I’d never been so desperate to taste a woman before. Only Ella. With other girls, I’d just wanted to fuck and get myself off. But I needed to savor Ella. Consume her. Own her.

I tugged her panties down and helped her step through them. I met her large and sparkling eyes before I studied her stunning body, on display before me. Her hips were shapely and her boobs were amazing. She didn’t have a skeleton body like other girls I’d been with. Her stomach wasn’t completely flat and that made her even sexier.

She was all woman and hot as hell.

“I hope you know how gorgeous you are, Ella,” I said as I kissed her thighs. They quivered with eagerness and it excited me even more that I could stir this girl so much.

Her fingers gripped the door handle and her head sank back.

I repositioned my hands to the back of her thighs before grabbing hold of her perfect ass. And damn if that didn’t do me in right then and there. I looked up at her just as I hauled her hips closer to my mouth. Her lips parted and her eyes clenched tight in anticipation.

“Look at me, Ella,” I murmured. “I want you to see how much I enjoy kissing you down here.”

Her eyes snapped open, like she couldn’t believe the words that had fallen from my lips. And actually I had no earthly idea where they had come from either. Never had I uttered those words to a girl before. Never had I wanted to or even cared that much.

Ella just brought out this unyielding passion in me. I was desperate to feel connected to her and right now that connection would come through my tongue making contact with that gorgeous patch of skin on exhibit before me. It was swollen, perfectly trimmed, and waiting on me to sample it.

Her eyes blazed with the same intensity I’d seen before and as I opened my mouth to taste her, she shuddered against me. I kissed her gently at first, taking my time caressing her outer lips before flicking my tongue against her opening and then trailing it up her center.

She tossed her head back in pleasure, her chest and cheeks flushed with a pretty crimson color, her skin hot and pulsing beneath my lips.

I adjusted my hold on her ass and spread her wider so that my tongue could have full access. She had a heavenly musky scent that infiltrated my senses and made me nearly ravenous for her.

I tasted her for a long time as she whimpered and made that insanely sexy noise in the back of her throat. She grasped at my hair and when I sucked on her bud she nearly unraveled right in front of me.

But I drew away and made sure her eyes were still on me. They were glossy and unfocused but she never looked away. She bit her lip and inhaled sharply as my tongue continued to map its pattern over her folds. And then deeply inside her.

Finally, I settled on her epicenter again, alternately sucking and swirling her into a frenzy.

“Yes. Quinn.” Her voice was hoarse and gravelly as she reached her breaking point. “Oh God. Don’t stop.”

Her knees gave way and she nearly collapsed against me, but I braced her hips against the door. I licked her more slowly and gently to bring her down as my fingers grazed soothing patterns over her skin.

“You are so fucking incredible, Ella.”

When she finally stopped quivering, she fastened her eyes on mine solid as steel.

And I swear I saw straight through to her center. Maybe to her soul.

So I gave her sweet pink bud one final, lasting kiss.

I hadn’t seen Quinn in a few days. But damn if I didn’t still feel his tongue on me and fantasize about experiencing the sensation again. And maybe he’d finally allow me to return the favor.

After he had his way with me against the door, I could tell how aroused he’d been—but he acted like it was no big deal and refused anything in return.

Instead, he helped me get dressed, which almost made me ready for round two—until he pulled out the Xbox controllers. I kicked his butt in a Sonic racing game, and afterward, he held me on the couch while we clicked through the channels.

I almost fell asleep in his lap while he stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. It was such a comfort to have him there. I wanted him to stay over but I wasn’t sure if I could ask him, or even if I should.

I had stood naked in front of him and not felt shy in the least bit. Hadn’t even felt the need to hide my stomach or my ass. The way he looked at me with such reverence and passion was something I’d never experienced before. He asked me to watch him while he relished my body, and that was, hands down, the most erotic experience of my life.

But I still didn’t know where we stand or how to define us. I was living in the gray and just trying to enjoy it, but I’d never done that before. Been with someone for the sake of being with them—with no parameters or definitions caging us in.

It felt unnatural, but also, in a way, freeing. There were no expectations about loyalty or communication, and Lord knows that boy could make quite a statement with his tongue.

I was free to do what I wanted with anybody else, really, but the reality was, I didn’t want to. And I knew with an unspoken degree of certainty, neither did he.

And that right there was the difference between Quinn and Joel.

Even though Quinn had no claims on me, my gut told me he wanted me, and this time, I was listening. But something was holding him back. Something in his past that he needed to work through. Someone or something had hurt him, and that made me feel protective of him.

The problem would be letting him go. Defending my own heart would not be easy. If we kept going this way, I’d eventually fall for him. Hard. If I wasn’t falling already.

The team had been on the road and between work and classes, we’d only had time to text. But he was coming home today and my stomach buzzed with anticipation when his text came in.

Quinn: Hey, sexy. Do you already have plans? If not, want to catch dinner and a movie?

Me: Sounds like a plan. I can be ready in an hour.

I jumped in the shower and contemplated what to wear. I decided on jeans and a dressier top with my wedges. This would be the first time we were out in public together, but considering this was a large town, the chances of us running into anyone we knew was slim, unless we stuck to the regular college haunts.

Besides, did it matter anymore? Tracey said that most everyone had figured it out anyway. Although I wasn’t sure exactly what they’d figured out if Quinn and I didn’t even know ourselves.

Avery had come home from work and was changing in the bedroom when Quinn knocked on the door.

“I’ll get it,” she said, pulling her shirt over her head. Mischief blazed in her eyes.

“You rein it in, asshead,” I said, still trying to figure out what to do with my hair. “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.”

I heard Avery let Quinn inside while I started to tuck my hair up in a messy bun.

“So, is this, like, a real date?” Avery asked. No hello, no nothing.

What in the hell was she doing? She told me to live in the gray and then she went and asked him a so-not-gray question. I knew she was just trying to feel him out, but talk about Holy mixed signals, Batman.

“I guess you could call it that,” Quinn said, his gravelly voice rumbling up my spine and warming me in all the right places.

“What are you guys gonna do when you finally run into Joel?”

“Dunno,” he said. I brushed back a piece of my hair, listening to his reply. I couldn’t help myself. “That motherfucker didn’t deserve her anyway, so who the hell cares.”

My hands stilled in my hair. I hadn’t been expecting that response.

“Good answer,” Avery said. I imagined her folding her arms across her chest like a surrogate parent or big sister or something. “Do you think you deserve her?”

A gasp caught in my throat and I sagged against the sink. I was going to kick her ass.

“I’m not sure,” Quinn said and I sucked in a breath. “But I’m sure as hell trying to be worthy of her.”

Shit. What the hell had just happened? Everything suddenly seemed flipped around. Here I was just going with the flow, living in the unknown, and Avery had turned this into something heavy.

Something I wasn’t sure if I had wanted to hear, because it was too perfect. He was almost too perfect. And if it didn’t work out, my heart was going to have a long recovery time.

Joel had nothing on what Quinn had made me feel in just a handful of weeks.

I closed my eyes and inhaled a lungful of air. I needed to get out there before Avery said anything else to embarrass me. Although maybe I should thank her. Maybe Quinn had been feeling the same thing—this compelling pull to be together. And maybe we should do something about it.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped out. Quinn looked stunning in relaxed jeans, a black fitted T-shirt, and canvas flip-flops. I could even see the manly hair on his toes.

He didn’t have his Titans ball cap on today, and his copper hair was twisted upward in a kind of a modified Mohawk. Like he had run his fingers through the mess before walking out the door.

“Just trying to do something with my hair. Sorry,” I said and then shot Avery a look. She shrugged as if challenging me to be mad at her.

“I like when you wear your hair up,” he said, his eyes gliding over me. “Shows off your cheekbones.”

I felt a blush creep up my face. “Thanks.”

“I’m headed up to five,” Avery said, winking at me. “Have fun, kids.”

She left us standing in the living room facing each other. I realized then just how much I’d missed seeing him all week. I felt like skipping our plans, pulling him down on the couch, and spending all evening groping him.

“So, um . . . any idea what movie you want to see?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

We definitely needed to do more than make out like a couple of teenagers. We needed to do real things, out in public, so we could see how we navigated the world together. What we had in common. How well we could discuss things. “I wouldn’t mind checking out the new Star Trek movie.”

“Really?” he rubbed his jaw as if this pronouncement had made his more confused about me. “Video games. Star Trek. You really did grow up in a house full of brothers, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” I said. “But remember, I’m the oldest, so I influenced them.”

“Point taken,” he said, holding the door open for me.

When I slid into the leather front seat of his car, I said, “So how’s Fury holding up?”

“Pretty well,” he said, his cheeks lifting into a grin. “But she doesn’t like to park in busy movie-theater lots where people will touch her. So she may drop you at the door while she finds a spot away from the crowd.”

I just shook my head and laughed.

At the theater, we bought popcorn, Milk Duds, and large sodas. After we settled in our seats in the crowded room, I opened the box of chocolate caramel confections and dumped them in the large tub.