Christina Lee - Before You Break

“Um,” Quinn said, scratching his chin.

“Sweet and salty—it’s a must-have for movie watching.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” I picked up a Milk Dud, flanked it with two pieces of popcorn, and then brought it to his lips. “Here. I guarantee you’ll fall in love. You’ll never watch a movie without them again.”

“If you say so. . . .” He dragged the sweet and salty mixture into his mouth but kept my fingers enclosed between his lips. I held in a gasp while he ran his tongue over my thumb and then sucked on my forefinger before releasing my hand and chewing what remained.

“Agree,” he said around a mouthful of popcorn. “Wouldn’t want to be without them ever again.”

Quinn’s gaze latched on to mine. It felt like a bundle of feathers had been let loose in my stomach. “Guess you’ll have to come to every movie from now on. So I don’t forget.”

Speechless wasn’t even the word for what I felt in that moment. Dumbfounded might have been more like it, or maybe just struck stupid, because I couldn’t even move my lips to form any coherent words.

When the movie previews began, he turned toward the screen and reached for my fingers, interlacing our hands. Then he leaned close to my ear and said, “I expect you to feed me just like that the entire movie.”

I cleared my throat and finally found my voice. “If I did, we’d never make it through.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to concentrate anyway,” he said, kissing the palm of my hand. “With you sitting so close and me not being able to touch you.”

“Quinn,” I mumbled. I didn’t even know what I was going to say—it was just a verbal response to the millions of pinpricks overwhelming my body. Imprinting me with his words. And his voice. And their meaning.

As it turned out, the simple act of lacing my fingers through Quinn’s in a darkened room for two hours straight somehow felt more intimate—real, overwhelming—than one of his kisses. Though I would have welcomed one.

We did, in fact, make it through the movie and proceeded to chat about the special effects all the way to the car, which he had parked in Timbuktu. He’d tried to insist that I wait at the entrance until he picked me up, but I’d refused.

We were so full from our drinks and the large tub of popcorn that we decided to drive around for a while instead of getting dinner.

“Have you ever been to the cliff?” he asked.

“The one on Magnolia Street that overlooks the city?”

He nodded.

“Only once or twice,” I said. “It’s really pretty.”

At the light, he curved around the bend and traveled in that direction. Turning off the main street, he headed toward the cliff. He pulled up alongside the guardrail that prevented cars from flying over. Parking was allowed in this area, as was sitting on the grassy hilltop.

“I come here whenever I can, actually,” he said, and it kind of made it made perfect sense. It fit him and his gentle nature.

I took in the grass, the trees, and the rocky descent to the water. “You’ve been here a lot, huh?”

He shut off the engine and turned toward me. “Does that surprise you?”

“I don’t know.” I pushed open my door to exit the car and he came around the other side. “You seem so busy with baseball and classes and frat house stuff.”

“Right now is a busy time, but not always,” he said, removing two thick blankets from his trunk. “And in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t get involved in too many frat house things. Just when I need to.”

We headed toward the hill. A few people were scattered here and there, mostly couples. He chose a more secluded area near an oak tree and laid a blanket beneath it.

“Why is that, Quinn?” I asked, kicking off my wedges and sinking down on the soft blanket. The night air was cool but not too chilly. The view of the city was breathtaking, with the silhouette of slim buildings, sailboats, and twinkling lights.

The water below was dark and murky. I noticed how Quinn intently studied the shoreline. I was curious what he saw in it. I wondered so many things about him. “What I mean is, why join a frat if you aren’t really into it?”

“I . . . um . . .” he sputtered. But I didn’t want to let him off easy this time. I desperately wanted to get to know him, and I didn’t feel this question was too personal. He’d asked me way tougher questions. “It’s complicated.”

“I mean, I’ll admit, it doesn’t fit you. Doesn’t seem to be your thing,” I said, looking up at him. He shrugged and sank down directly behind me, sliding me between his legs. I couldn’t see his eyes nor his expression and I wondered if that was purposeful on his part. “Or is this another one of those Daddy wishes and you’re doing the frat thing for someone else?”

“Yeah, something like that,” he said, and then he sighed. “I look forward to the freedom of graduation, but I still have a year left. How about you?”

“I’m kind of on the five-year plan. I didn’t do a full load of classes my first year, so I’ve been playing catch-up,” I said. “I’m going straight into the masters program anyway.”

His fingers lightly brushed my knees and my calves and then traced over my dragonfly tattoo. “Bennett did that for me,” I said.

“Yeah?” he asked. “What does it mean?”

“It reminds me of Christopher. Of our childhood,” I said. “Bennett said something to me that day, like—the tattoos people regret the least are the ones that have meaning. So I’m glad I got it.”

His lips found my neck and I wilted against him.

“How about you—ever think of getting something inked?” I muttered, trying to rein in my jagged breaths. His arms came around and wrapped me tight. It felt protective and warm. His mouth brushed light kisses along my hairline, making my skin pebble. “Mmmm . . . you’re trying to make me change the subject.”

“Is it working?” he whispered. He tightened his hold, pulling me flush against him, barely allowing a millimeter of space between us. I felt his heartbeat strong and steady against my back.

“Kind of.” I rested my head against his shoulder and snuck a glance at him. “Just trying to get to know you better, Quinn.”

“I know,” he said, his breath against my hair. “There’s not much to tell. Right now I’m living under someone else’s thumb and I don’t like it. But someday, I hope to break free and do my own thing, be my own person.”

He kissed the top of my head before resting his chin there. I wanted to crawl inside of his skin and stay all night, just like this, nestled against him. His arms acting as a cocoon, a shield, a defense. Us against the world. Like I belonged to him.

Except that I wasn’t his. The circle of his arms provided only a temporary safeguard. Flimsy at best. Because there were parts of him he was keeping from me. Holding back. Parts he wouldn’t—or couldn’t—allow me to see.

Avery had told me to set parameters around what I wanted, if it came to that. And if Quinn and I kept going like this, I’d soon be ready to talk about those things.

Or I’d have to walk away.

But tonight . . . Tonight, I just wanted him to hold me.

“You gonna work on those cars you’re so fond of—after you graduate?”

He stiffened briefly against me. Another wall erected. “Maybe. You . . . kinda helped me remember how important it was to me. “

“Yeah?” I tilted my head sideways and his hot mouth feathered along my jaw. My knees instantly went liquid and I was glad to be anchored by him.

“Yeah.” He lifted my chin and in another beat of my heart, his mouth was covering mine.

The tip of his tongue outlined my lips and I opened my mouth in a sigh. His mouth was hungry and wet and lingered against mine in a slow and sexy rhythm. He cast a seductive spell, completely mesmerizing me, and when his hands trailed down to my stomach, heat pooled low in my belly.

“Ella,” he mumbled, “you’re driving me nuts. Your lips, your smell, your skin.”

I combed my fingers over his cheekbones and through the back of his hair as his lips captured mine again. As the sky grew darker, the full moon made its stunning debut. Our mouths were joined beneath it until they felt bruised, but I couldn’t stop kissing him if I’d tried.

Quinn flipped me around so that I was straddling him, and his hardness was like a steel rod through his jeans. The heavy material separating us created a raw friction that was driving me out of my skull. I kept in mind that we were out in public and were only hidden by an oak tree. But as Quinn’s fingers skimmed beneath my shirt, I moaned into his mouth.

“Ella you are so fucking sexy,” he said. “I can’t wait to taste you again.”

I bent my forehead to his lips and said, “I believe it would be my turn.”

He braced my jaw to look directly into my eyes. “You don’t even know what you’re doing to me right now.” I brushed my fingers against his zipper and he hissed through his teeth.

I brought the second blanket up higher around our shoulders. “No one will see us.”

His hand clamped down on my fingers to stop me. “Not here.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” When in the hell had I ever uttered those words to a guy? We were out in the open, for the love of all things sacred. Who had stolen my brain and replaced it with the pages of an erotic romance novel? “We’ll concentrate on being quiet.”

He let out a low growl before devouring my mouth again. His tongue probed deep, telling me just how desperate he was for release, and I couldn’t wait to give it to him.

I unbuttoned his pants and lowered his boxer briefs until he poked out. Even in the shadow of the blanket, he still looked gorgeous. I ran my thumb along the moisture that had beaded along his tip and his breath hitched.

“Relax your legs a bit,” I whispered.

He leaned back, positioning his arms on the blanket behind him. With his hands out of the way, he was in easy reach. He felt warm and solid in my palm. I hadn’t been with that many guys, but I could tell that he was very long and thick and imagining him inside me made my underwear instantly damp.

“Christ, Ella.” He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing.

“Same deal you had with me,” I said. “I want your eyes on me while I touch you.”

I surprised myself with my boldness. Having the power to make Quinn putty in my hands was so completely heady.

I moved my fingers up and down in a steady and deliberate rhythm and his head sloped to the side. His eyes softened and his gaze never left mine. With my other hand, I reached below his shaft and grasped him there, teasing the area with my fingers. “Oh fuck, Ella. I’m close.”

I lowered my lips to his. “Kiss me. I want to feel you when you come.”

He sealed his lips over mine and with his tongue he mimicked the up-and-down motion of my fingers. He groaned his release into my mouth, his lips quivering with the effort.

It was the sexiest damn thing I had ever felt—let alone done with a guy.

As if I’d absorbed his passion and it’d ignited every nerve ending inside of me.

This was the type of physical connection I’d never had but always longed for with someone. It rooted something between us. Something that had embedded itself in my very center.

“Ella, Goddamn,” he panted out as he caught his breath. “That was amazing.”

Ella came to as many of my games as she could this past week when she wasn’t busy with classes or homework or her volunteer work at some psych center.

We’d fallen into a natural routine where I’d show up at her place and we’d play video games, laugh, and hold each other. Ella did most of the talking; the sound of her voice comforted me—or we didn’t do any talking at all.

We hadn’t had sex yet, but we’d come close. Lots of grinding, touching, and kissing.

I knew I couldn’t go there with her until I was sure. Sure that I could give her everything. Tell her everything.

Plus, the experience of being inside her might just do me in. Make it that much harder to leave if she decided she didn’t want me. Once I told her all of it. I was feeling things for Ella that I’d never felt for a girl before.

I’d slept in her bed a couple times and those mornings had become my favorite. She’d be wrapped in my arms and I’d watch her sleep, so warm and sexy and beautiful. Her breasts would be bare and the curve of her neck would call to me. I’d nestle my lips against her skin and she’d make that noise. The noise that drove me crazy.