Corinne Michaels - Beloved

“I won’t let you fall. I’ll be here, but sometimes I’m going to be a dick. Sometimes I’m going to say the wrong thing. But if I didn’t want to be here with you, I would’ve walked away.”

I look up and the sincerity on his face matches what I heard in his voice, but the last thirty minutes did nothing to allay my fears. If anything, my doubts have intensified. “Then why were you so distant before?” I ask.

He speaks in a low, hushed tone. “Today brought up a lot of memories for me. Memories I’ve tried extremely hard to forget.”

Jackson takes a deep breath and places his hand on the small of my back as we start walking to my apartment. He’s silent for a few minutes and I sense he needs the time to collect his thoughts.

“I just want to he—” I stop short when I see someone in front of my apartment complex.

Neil. Why the hell is he here? Today of all days. My stomach drops as the reality of my past and present collide. I’ve tried to get rid of him. Ignoring him hasn’t worked, so now he’s apparently going to stalk me. Great. My body begins to tremble, shaking uncontrollably as fear, anger, and hate overtake me.

“Catherine?” Jackson asks, looking for whatever caused me to freeze.

Neil steps forward with his eyes fixed on Jackson. “Well, it seems you didn’t miss me all that much, did you?” he sneers.

“What do you want?” I return acidly.

“I’ve been calling. We have to talk. You have something that’s mine,” Neil says.

Obviously he’s been calling and I’ve been avoiding him. I swear he wasn’t this stupid before. Or maybe he was but I was too blind to see it. Either way, I don’t think I can handle this confrontation today.

“I have nothing of yours,” I say, trying to step around him.

Jackson moves next to me, angling his body so he’s between us. “Who the hell are you?”

Neil steps to the side, blocking me from getting past him. He jerks a thumb toward Jackson. “Who’s this guy?”

Jackson takes a step closer to Neil, who huffs and steps back.

“I’m her fiancé,” he says with a sardonic smile.

“No, you’re not!” I scream. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

He’s purposely trying to ruin my life. Why? What the hell did I ever do to him? He broke my heart and I didn’t do a damn thing to retaliate. I didn’t steal from him, hurt his precious career, cheat on him, or anything else. Now he stands in front of my apartment, trying to take something else from me. Rage pulses through my body with each heartbeat. The first good thing I have he’s going to try to ruin. I look to Jackson whose eyes are wide. No! He can’t believe this.

Jackson stands there and crosses his arms across his broad chest as he lets out a mocking laugh. “Care to explain?”

I’m struggling not to cry. The emotions I’ve been swallowing all day are making their way back up. “Jackson, this is my ex-fiancé. He’s a liar and a piece of shit!”

“Don’t let her fool you,” Neil sneers from behind me.

I’m unable to control myself anymore. I’m done. I’m lost. There’s no stopping me as I unload my anger in Neil’s face. “Shut the fuck up! You cheated on me! Why are you here? We haven’t been together for months! Go away!” I’m breaking. Every single part of me is falling apart.

I turn back to Jackson. The look on his face makes my stomach clench. He looks like he’s wavering between anger and pride. Both of us are dealing with too much right now, but I desperately need him to listen me.

“None of this is true! He’s with another woman. He’s lying!” I yell, feeling my sanity slip away. “This is Neil Mullins. He works for Boyce. We were engaged and then he cheated on me with Piper.” This is definitely not how I planned to talk about my ex, if I ever decided to talk about him at all. I implore him to believe me with my eyes. “Jackson, please. We’ve been over for months!”

Neil barks out a laugh. “Your memory is a little off, love. You stole my numbers so I left you. I should’ve had the Raven account. Now, I want my fucking ring and the money you owe me back.”

Jackson steps away from me. He curls his lip while flexing his hands and glaring at Neil. “Wait a fucking minute,” he says and then looks at me. “Neil? From Boyce, the other PR firm?”

I nod, trying to choke back the tears that keep spilling down my face. This is the worst day of my life. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

“Since you know who I am, I’ll ask again. Who the fuck are you?” Neil says, puffing out his chest.

Jackson glares at Neil. “I’m Jackson Cole.”

Recognition registers on Neil’s face as his angry smile grows. “Well, that explains everything. You fucked the client, Cat. I didn’t think you had it in you.” He steps toward me, his eyes hard and cold.

Jackson pushes me back behind him as anger rolls off him in waves. You can smell the testosterone in the air. His knuckles are white from clenching his fists so hard, and the vein on the side of his neck is protruding. I need to calm him before this gets out of hand. I place my hand on his shoulder and move around him, but his arm grips my waist, keeping me safely behind him.

From behind Jackson, I yell at Neil, “You need to leave. Now!” My entire body is trembling. I’m not sure if it’s anger or hate or any other emotion you can name.

Neil steps forward and Jackson tenses. Neil isn’t a small guy, but he’s no match for a man Jackson’s size. Not only that, but I’m pretty sure Jackson is trained to kill him in one move.

Could this day get any fucking worse?

Jackson clears his throat and pulls me against his side. “She told you to leave. I suggest you go.” His voice brokers no argument. He’s reached his max.

“Right, well this is between me and Cat. So I think I’ll just finish what I came here for.” Neil smiles and moves closer.

Jackson’s reaction seems involuntary as he steps forward and pushes against Neil’s chest, sending him backward. The commanding sound in Jackson’s voice scares me. “I don’t think so, asshole. You’re going to fucking leave right now—either by free will or by force. But I promise—you don’t want to fuck with me.”

I step between them, trying to get Jackson to calm down. The tears have stopped, but fear has taken over.

My voice is strangled as I plead with them both. “Please! Stop! I can’t take any more.” I step toward Neil with narrowed eyes. “You need to go! I don’t have anything of yours, and I don’t have anything left to say to you. Just leave!”

Neil snaps. His nostrils flare and his lip pulls back. He barrels toward me. The noise from his throat is a guttural roar. “You owe me my fucking ring! So you can either get it, or I’m going to do everything in my power to ruin you.” He grips my arms, squeezing them painfully.

Before I have a second to process anything, Neil’s on the ground and Jackson’s on top of him. The sound of their bodies hitting the pavement echoes around me.

He hits Neil in the face and blood splatters on the sidewalk at the impact. “Stop!” I scream, trying to stop the madness in front of me.

Punch after punch he lands on Neil. Neil manages to get a fist to Jackson’s face, but it only seems to stoke Jackson’s rage. I rush over and pull at his arms, but he shakes me off easily, continuing the onslaught, undeterred.

“Motherfucker! You don’t touch her!” he says as he hits him again, his fist finding his mark. With each blow, the sound of his knuckles connecting with Neil’s face cuts through the night air.

“Jackson! Stop!” I yell over and over. My voice falls on deaf ears as they continue to assault each other. Tears are pouring again, and my entire body is running on adrenaline.

I lean down, grabbing for Jacksons arm, finally snapping him out of his rage. He towers over Neil lying on the pavement. “I’ll fucking kill you if you ever touch her again,” he says, his voice venomous.

Jackson turns and looks at me. His expression shifts from anger to pain to worry when he sees the tears streaming down my face.

“Are you hurt?” His hands grasp my face as I pull away from his touch.

It’s too much. I can’t do this. All I can do is shake my head back and forth as I pray my legs don’t give out on me.

“Catherine, talk to me. Please.” His voice breaks on the last word and my heart goes with it.

Neil staggers to his feet and Jackson’s back stiffens as he readies to protect me again. “You better have a damn good lawyer, Cole. This isn’t over.” He swipes the blood off his mouth and turns with vengeance in his eyes.

I squeeze my eyes shut and pray for strength because I don’t have any left.

Tears are streaming, leaving rivers of black mascara on my cheeks. Jackson’s strong arms encase me, holding me tight as I crumble. I breathe in his scent, which usually calms me, but right now it does nothing to help my state. My eyes close and the numbness takes hold. I’m floating, completely weightless—I’ve finally lost it. I think we’re moving but can’t be sure. I’m enjoying the peace and serenity my mind has given me, the reprieve from all the hell that broke loose a few moments ago. Images of Neil and Jackson brawling blur before my eyelids, and I fight for the numbness again.

When I open my eyes, I’m shocked to see we’re in my apartment. I don’t remember walking, but then again I’m almost positive I’ve snapped. Jackson holds me in his arms and tries to speak to me, but I don’t hear him. I barely register his touch. His warmth is absent.

Maybe, like everything else, he’s gone cold, the tenderness he once felt for me destroyed by the display on the street. He’s been distant all night. Maybe Neil just sealed the deal. The thought sends a wave of panic through my body, but I’m too defeated to fight it. He’ll take the last remaining part of my heart and shatter it. I knew it would happen. He’ll do what every man in my life does—leave.

His arms wrap tighter around me, but I don’t want his arms. I don’t want anyone. I’m better off alone, making a clean break now before I fall further. I need to protect what’s left of myself. He’s already claimed parts of me that I’ll never get back. I wish I could get the numbness back. I want to stop feeling so much all the time. It hurts—everything hurts.

His grip tightens, but I need to get away. I step back, pushing against his chest. His arms reach out as if I’m falling and he needs to catch me. But I’m done falling.

I place my hands in front of me to stop him. Gone is the uncertainty I had hours ago. All my resolve is back with a vengeance. Stifling the tears, I take a deep breath, ready to salvage what’s left of myself. I look over to see his unsure face and posture. Ensuring my voice is clear, I answer the questions in his eyes. “You should go.”

“What?” He steps back with a shocked expression.

“Leave, please,” I croak out and point to the door.

He looks at me cautiously, like I’m a wounded animal. Tilting his head, brow furrowed, he responds, “Why would I leave? I’m not going anywhere. I told you I was staying.” He stands defiantly, ready to fight me on this.

“I don’t want you to stay here. I need to be alone,” I say with as much steel in my voice as I can gather. There’s a small part of me that knows pushing him away could be a mistake, but at this point I can’t trust myself. He’s already taken so much—I’m already in too deep. The last time we made love, he owned me. I knew then I’d never be the same. He’s going to destroy me if I don’t put an end to this now.

Jackson takes a step closer, shaking his head at my request. “I’m not leaving you.”

There’s no way he’s going to walk away on his own—it’s not who he is. This is the man who’d stand in front of a bullet and bear the pain so someone else wouldn’t have to. But I don’t need a hero. “I’m not asking you, Jackson. I’m telling you to leave. I want to be alone. I can’t deal with anything else right now.”

He strides toward me with his lips pursed. “Don’t push me away. Don’t make me the bad guy here.” He reaches for me, but I take a step back.

I throw my hands up. “Really? Push you away? You pushed me away back there before the fight. I didn’t do that—you did. I needed you! Do you have any idea what this was like for me today? Huh?” I step forward and push against his chest, but he doesn’t budge. Instead he stands there and lets me unleash my fury. “Did you think about how this would be for me when you beat the shit out of him? Did you hear me screaming and begging you to stop? My God! Do you get it now? I was engaged to him. He was supposed to love me and cherish me! But instead he pushed me away, cheated on me. He left me for someone else because she was better than me!” I slap my hand against his chest, broken and hurt, but he doesn’t move. He takes it. “I need to be more than that, Jackson. I need to be someone’s everything. I deserve that! I’m tired … I’m tired of being hurt. I want to be enough already!” I take a few steps back, needing some space.