Bertrice Small - Beloved

"Push, Iris! Push! Push!" Tamar encouraged her.

"Aiiiiii!" came the collective cry of the other women as the infant began to appear between its mother's legs.

"Push!”

"I am!" Iris snapped irritably at the older woman.

"Then push harder!" Tamar had no mercy. "The child is but half born, Iris. You must push again!"

Gritting her teeth, Iris pushed down fiercely, and suddenly felt something wet and warm sliding from her body, emptying her out, and miraculously the pain began to subside.

Tamar caught the child, and holding her up announced, "It is a female." She then handed the baby to another woman, and pushed Iris back onto the birthing stool. "You must yet bear the afterbirth. Only then will you be done. One more push will do it."

"I want to see my daughter!"

"Let Rebecca clean the birthing blood from her first. As always, you are too impatient," Tamar scolded, but she understood how it was the first-nay, every time.

Within minutes Iris was sponged with cooling rose water, and dressed in a simple white gauze night robe. The baby girl, who had wailed lustily after her birth, was now neatly swaddled, and placed in her mother's arms.

Tamar looked to one of the other women, and commanded sharply. "Fetch my lord Zabaai." As chief wife, she was obeyed and looked upon with fear and respect. It was her son, Akbar, who would one day rule the tribe.

Looking down on Iris, Tamar thought it was no wonder that Zabaai loved her. She was so very beautiful with her milky skin, ash-blond hair, and blue-gray eyes. She was so very different from the rest of them; a woman Zabaai could not only love, but converse with.

He entered the room, a man of medium height and strong build, his dark eyes sparkling, his dark hair and beard untouched by silver despite his forty-three winters. His handsome face was sharply sculptural with its high cheekbones and hawklike nose. His lips were full and sensuous. His entry brought all the women but Tamar and Iris to their knees. He looked at his two wives, and his black eyes softened. He loved them both. Tamar, the wife of his youth, and Iris, the wife of his old age. The other women might give him variety, and occasional pleasure, but these two he prized.

"The gods have blessed you with a daughter, my lord," Tamar said.

"A daughter?" He was surprised.

"Yes, my lord. A daughter."

The kneeling women glanced slyly at each other, and the uncharitable and the jealous among them were hard put not to voice their glee. They were the mothers of sons, and the best the Alexandrian bitch could do was a mere daughter. They watched expectantly for their lord's righteous wrath, wondering if he would deny the brat, and order it exposed.

Instead a smile split his face, and he chuckled with delight. "Iris! Iris!" he said, his deep voice warm with approval. "Once again you have done the unexpected; and you have given me the one thing which, until now, I have lacked. A daughter! Thank you, my beautiful wife! Thank you!"

The kneeling women were aghast. Praised for having a daughter? All men wanted sons, the more the better; and Zabaai had never been an exception. He was proud of his thirty-five sons, even remembering all their names and ages. But the more perceptive among the women understood. It was the great love he felt for Iris that would excuse almost any fault. They sighed with resignation.

Iris laughed, and her laughter was soft and filled with mischievous glee. "Have I ever done the expected, my lord?" she asked.

His black eyes laughed back at her. Glancing at the other women Zabaai said curtly, "Leave us!"

"Not Tamar, my lord." Iris would not offend Tamar, who had always been kind to her. She did not forget that if Zabaai died, Tamar's eldest son, Akbar, would hold her fate and her daughter's in his hands.

Zabaai bent to look at his new daughter. Used to large boy babies, he was somewhat awed by the delicate girl child he had sired. The infant slept, dainty dark lashes fluttering slightly against the pale-gold skin. Her dark hair was a small tuft of down upon a well-shaped head. Despite her slumber, her tiny hands moved with a fluttery restlessness, the slender fingers fascinating him with their translucent miniature nails. He regarded her almost warily, for although he knew what one could do with a son, he was not quite sure what one did with a daughter; and this child, of all his children, was the one born out of the great love he felt for its mother.

Looking up, he observed, "She is very small."

Both Iris and Tamar laughed. "Girls," Tamar said, "are usually tinier at birth, my lord."

"Oh." He felt a trifle foolish, but then it was his first daughter. "Where is the Chaldean?" he demanded, suddenly remembering.

"Here, lord." From a dark corner of the room a hunched shape emerged. As it came forward it became an elderly man with sharp eyes and a long, snow white beard, dressed in dark, flowing robes upon which were sewn a pattern of silver-thread stars and moons. The old man bowed low, and Iris held her breath waiting for the slightly askew turban to tumble off his head into her lap. It didn't.

"Did you mark the exact moment of this child's birth in the skies, Chaldean?"

"I did, my lord Zabaai. At the very moment your daughter slipped from her mother's womb, the heavenly bodies of Venus and Mars met in conjunction. Never have I seen the signs so propitious. It portends great things for her."

"What great things, Chaldean?"

"The full natal chart will reveal all, my lord, but I can tell you now that your daughter will be successful in both love and war, for she is already, I can see, beloved of the gods."

Zabaai nodded, satisfied. The Chaldean was the most respected astrologer in the East, noted not only for his accuracy, but his honesty as well.

As the old man backed out of the room Zabaai looked upon his young wife with great affection. "How shall I reward you, my little love, for this marvelous child?" he said.

"Let me name her, my lord," Iris replied.

"Very well," he agreed, pleased. Another woman would have asked him for jewels.

Tamar could not contain her curiosity. "What will you call her?"

"Zenobia," came the answer. "She who was given life by Jupiter."

"Zenobia," Zabaai mused. "It is a good name!"

"You must rest now," Tamar said, taking the infant from Iris. "Let your Bab look after Zenobia while you sleep."

Iris nodded, beginning to feel sleepy, now that the immediate excitement of the birth was over. Zabaai arose, bending a moment to kiss his young wife, and then he and Tamar left the room.

Alone, Iris sighed and stretched herself gingerly to find a more comfortable position. How beautiful the baby was! Tomorrow she would have a lamb sacrificed in the Temple of Jupiter to give thanks for her daughter. She wondered about the Chaldean's predictions, not completely understanding them. Then as sleep began to overtake her, her anxieties faded. What did it all really matter as long as Zenobia was blessed and protected? "May you be favored by the gods all your life, my daughter," Iris murmured softly, and then she fell asleep.

The Girl

"Happy birthday, Zenobia!"

Zenobia bat Zabaai, now six, smiled happily back at her family. She was a lovely child, tall for her age, with long unruly dark hair that her mother had coaxed into ringlets for this auspicious occasion, and shining silver-gray eyes. Her simply draped white tunic with its pale blue silk rope belt set off her light golden skin.

Zabaai ben Selim swept his only daughter up into his arms, and gave her a resounding kiss. "Don't you want to know what your presents are, my precious one?"

Zenobia giggled and looked mischievously at her adored father. "Of course I do, Papa, but Mama said I must not ask until they were offered."

Zabaai ben Selim was unable to contain himself any longer. "Ali," he roared, "bring in my daughter's birthday gift!"

Into the open courtyard of the house came her father's favorite slave leading a dainty, prancing storm-gray mare, bridled in red leather with tinkling brass bells, and wearing a small matching saddle.

Zenobia was speechless with surprise and delight. More than anything, she had wanted a fine Arab horse for her very own. She had spent the last six months hinting at it none too gently to her father. "Oh, Papa!" she finally whispered.

"Then you like her?" Zabaai ben Selim teased his beloved only daughter.

"Oh, yes! Yes, Papa! Yes!"

"Zabaai, you did not tell me!" Iris looked worried. "A horse? She is far too little."

"Do not worry, my love. The mare has been bred for docility, I promise you."

Tamar put a gentle hand on Iris's shoulder, and said in a low voice, "Don't overprotect her, Iris. You will do her no favor if you do. Bedawi women are bred to be independent."

"I want to ride her now!" Zenobia cried, and Zabaai lifted his daughter up onto the mare's back. She sat proudly, as if she had been born to sit there. "Come on, Akbar! I'll race you!" Zenobia challenged her father's heir.

"I must get to my horse," he protested, amused.

"Well hurry!" she fussed at him, and was quickly off through the courtyard door.

***

In the year in which she was eleven Zenobia decided she would not go on the winter trek with her family. Palmyra had suddenly become a fascinating place to her. How she loved the city with its beautiful covered and colonnaded streets, great temples and broad marble avenues, its wonderful shops and open-air markets, each with a different and distinct smell. Leather tanning. Perfumes being blended. Wet wool being readied for weaving and dyeing. The silk-dyeing vats. The livestock. The spices. Exotic foods of all kinds. She simply couldn't bear to leave it again!

With stubborn resolve she had secreted herself when no one was looking, and now she hugged herself gleefully, convinced she would not be found.

"Zenobia!" Tamar's voice echoed sharply through the virtually empty house. "Zen-o-bia! Where are you, child? Come now, you cannot hide from us any longer! The trek has already begun."

"Zenobia, you are being foolish!" Iris's voice was becoming tinged with annoyance. "Come to us at once!"

Under the great bed in her father's bedchamber the child crouched, chuckling softly. She would not spend the winter in the damned desert again this year. The gods only knew she hated it! Miles and miles and miles of endless sand. Long, boring days of blue skies, cloudless and as placid as pap. She sniffed with distaste.

Then there were the goats. While her very best friend, Julia Tuilio, got to spend the whole delicious winter season in Palmyra going to the theater and to the games, she, Zenobia bat Zabaai, spent her winters herding a flock of dumb, smelly goats! It was embarrassing! The Bedawi measured a man's wealth in the livestock he owned, which made Zenobia's father an extremely wealthy man; but how she hated chasing those silly, temperamental goats all winter!

Only nights in the desert were interesting. She loved it when the skies grew dark, and filled with crystalline stars, some so bright and so large that they seemed almost touchable. Her father had taught her to read the stars, and she believed that as long as she could see them she would be able to find her way back to Palmyra from Hades itself.

"Ha, Zenobia! There you are!" Tamar reached beneath the bed and pulled her out with strong fingers.

"No!" Zenobia shouted furiously, struggling. "/ will not go! I hate the months away from Palmyra! I hate the desert!"

"Don't be foolish," Tamar replied patiently. "You are Bedawi, and the desert is our way. Come along now, Zenobia. There's my good girl." Tamar raised her up.

The child pulled defiantly away from the older woman, her strangely adult eyes flashing. "I am only half Bedawi, and even that half does not like the desert!"

Tamar had to laugh, for it was the truth and she could not really blame Zenobia. She was young, and the city was exciting. As Iris joined them, Zenobia flung herself at her pretty parent. "I don't want to go, Mama! Why can we not just stay here? The two of us? Papa will not mind. The theater season is just beginning, and Julia says that a wonderful troupe of dancers and actors from Rome will be performing here this winter."

"Our place is with your father, Zenobia." Iris never raised her soft voice, but there was no arguing with her tone. She stroked her only child's sleek dark head. What a beauty the little one was turning out to be, and how much she loved her!