K. Bromberg - Bend

Once my orgasm had subsided, I wasn't sure what to do.

I mean, it was kind of a conundrum. I'd gotten mine; he hadn't gotten his and to be honest, there wasn't anything further I was prepared to do to resolve that because of…Eli.

Finally, a bit of shame had sunk in. I moved out from underneath him, not really wanting to talk about it, or anything.

"I need to get to bed, Cain," I said, not really looking at him. I started to get up from the sofa, but he hauled me back down.

"You knew that this was bound to happen, didn't you?"

I was confused. I mean, I'd never planned on this happening, and since it had, I was now feeling like it was definitely kind of…wrong.

"I never meant for it to," I murmured like a repentant adolescent. "I don't want anything to come between you and Eli."

"It doesn't have to," he replied, taking a lock of my hair, and putting it behind my ear. "It can be about all of us."

"What?" I asked; the confusion very evident on my face.

"We have a unique situation," he commented, "But it's not insurmountable, babe. And it's not all that uncommon, given the right circumstances," he finished.

"Are you suggesting…uh," I stammered, looking for the right words.

"A threesome?" he offered.

I nodded my head.

"A threesome is an event," he replied. "I'm looking for much more than that, Paige."

"I can't think about any of this now, Cain. It doesn't…feel right to me."

"You go on to bed, and we'll talk about this another time, once you've had a chance to examine your feelings about me…and about Eli."

Eli? Eli couldn't possibly…

"Goodnight," I replied, not wanting to look back at him as I rose from the couch and hurried off to my room.

Much later, I was still lying awake in my room, thoughts and pieces of uncertainty and confusion taking up residence in my brain so that sleep wasn't an option.

From down the hall, I could hear the sounds from their room. I'd heard them before, but tonight it was much more pronounced as the headboard on their bed was rhythmically and loudly banging against the wall of their room.

I guess Cain was getting his after all.

It was Christmas Eve afternoon and I was trying to get presents wrapped before Cain and Eli arrived home.

They had gone over to Darcy and Easton's for lunch, and I had made an excuse because I knew Trace and Lindsey would be there, and I wasn't all that comfortable being around them. I occasionally ran into Trace in Quantico and it was still strained between us.

I didn't want to think about it. If my brother wanted to blow me off the way that he had, then it was on him, not me.

… And then there was my knitting.

I seriously had turned into some sort of a "knitting Rambo" over the past several weeks, and I really didn’t want to blame it on my sexual frustration, because personal denial had actually become one of my strong suits recently - or at least it had until the night after my last dating disaster. Ever since that incident on the couch with Cain, it was like sexual thoughts were coming out of the friggin’ woodwork!

I had done my best to avoid being alone with Cain, which wasn't easy because I could feel his brooding eyes on me from the other room.

It was this sexual vibe that had connected us ever since that night that didn't want to be denied. And it was starting to royally piss me off, because Eli had even commented that my knitting creations looked more and more like some sort of phallic symbols.

Pffft!!

They happened to be Christmas stockings for the three of us.

Phallic my ass!

Mine was white with a candy cane embroidered on it, Cain's was red with a gingerbread man on it, and Eli's was green with a snowman on it. I was damn proud of my workmanship. I think my roomies were a bit…puzzled by my newfound domesticity.

They teased me when I baked—six dozen Christmas cookies and a pan of fudge, packing the goodies up in decorative tins to give out to our mail carrier, newspaper delivery person, and our neighbors on either side of us.

Then, between the two of them, they had scarfed down the remaining two dozen cookies, along with the rest of the fudge in a day and a half. After that, Eli practically wouldn’t even let me have the T.V. remote because his pants fit tighter two days later.

I had to smile, because I couldn't remember feeling this content or secure, well…ever, I guess.

I no longer missed my random sexcapades, not that those had ever been that fulfilling to begin with. I had even stopped my search for an appropriate boyfriend. I mean who cares if I sat home alone on New Year's Eve? It was seriously over-rated anyway.

My parents had sent me a hefty check for Christmas that I had used to buy the rest of the Christmas presents for Cain and Eli. Because, quite frankly, I knew the two of them had gone hog wild buying for me.

Yes. I had snooped.

As much as I knew better than to go into their room and dig through their stuff, it had been just too freakin' tempting.

I had justified it by rationalizing that I wasn't going to be outdone in the gift department, despite my poverty-level income. So, yes, I had done what needed to be done in order to make sure that I wasn't totally humiliated on Christmas morning.

Sue me.

I had purchased a pair of black leather gloves for each of them; along with a new Armani tie for Eli and a rechargeable electric wine opener for Cain. I had bought each of them their favorite cologne scents, and with the finished scarves I had knitted, and ear muffs, their Christmas haul was now complete.

As I finished the wrapping, I discovered that I needed one more box for their ear muffs.

Well…shit.

I knew damn well that a box of any size or shape could be found in Eli's closet.

What the hell.

I closed my bedroom door and went into the living room to make sure that they hadn't pulled up yet. Checking up and down the street, twice, I saw it was all clear.

I scurried down the hall to the master suite, opening the door and heading over to Eli's walk-in closet. As I switched the light on, I gasped. There was a shit-load of more Christmas gifts that hadn't been put under the tree yet.

I examined the name-tags, finding four more gifts that had my name on them, which meant that they had done more shopping since my last sweep.

I couldn't resist.

I picked up the first one, shaking it to see if anything jingled. By the size and shape of the box, I was guessing it was some sort of jewelry, but damn - not a sound came from it.

I picked up another one that looked like a box that might have boots in it. I was secretly hoping those were the UGG's I wanted.

I mean, I sure as hell hadn't been crass enough to ask for them. But, I had left a catalog open on the coffee table in the family room, with the pair that I wanted circled in red for several weeks.

I smiled as I shook the box; pretty damn sure my boots were in there.

Hot damn!

I set the box down and put the smaller one on top, remembering why I had trespassed into forbidden territory to begin with. I searched the shelves over the clothes rack, finally seeing two shoeboxes that would be fine for the two pairs of earmuffs.

I stood on my tip-toes, and moved the bottom box, scooting it toward the edge of the shelf, and jumped back as it fell to the floor, spilling out a pair of Eli's shoes.

As I bent over to pick the shoes up and find a place for them, I heard Cain and Eli come in the front door, none too quietly.

Uh oh…

There was no time to make a quick, unseen exit as I heard their footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors of the hallway.

I quickly switched off the light in the closet, and pulled the louvered door closed; shrinking back into the corner and hoping like hell that Eli didn't need anything out of his closet anytime soon.

Why in the hell hadn't I just gone out when I had the chance? I could have explained the need for a box for a gift way better than if one of them found me hiding in the closet.

"She's probably taking a nap," I heard Eli say as they opened the door and came into their room. "She's been going at all this Christmas stuff with a vengeance," he chuckled. "Just toss those bags on the bed. I'll wrap them later."

"I hear that," Cain remarked. "She's really been on her game, too. She's a hell of a worker, keeps up her end of the bargain, and hell; she even makes this place more of a home for us. Kind of makes me fucking proud of her."

I couldn't see what they were doing, but the discussion they were having immediately piqued my interest.

"I think I know what you're saying, Maddox," Eli replied quietly. "And I want you to know that I'm okay with it."

"I love you, man," Cain murmured. "You and me, we're in this for the long haul, you get that right?"

Eli must've nodded.

"Okay then, so I want you to be more than okay with it. I want you to be a part of it."

I heard Eli draw a long sigh. I could even picture him doing it.

"I'm not sure I want to cross that line again, Maddox. I mean, I get that she's been around with dudes and all, but this is a bit more than even her experience has prepared her for, and she may just end up being a one-dude kind of chick. I mean, the sexually charged current between you two is pretty fucking obvious, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants me to be part of the deal."

Oh God! Are they talking about…what I think they're talking about?

"Eli, this is more than just about sexual chemistry and you damn well know it. This is about a life choice for all of us. I love her same as you, but I need her, too."

"You need to take this slow, Maddox. Yeah, I love her, too. Not the same way that you do, but I think you already knew that. And I love you so fucking much, and your honesty about it all. I won't lose you, I swear. You let her know that you love her, because it's not fair not to. I'm down with whatever it is you need to make this work."

"Come here," Cain ordered quietly.

It was quiet for several moments. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and for a second, I was worried that they could hear it too.

I crept quietly over to the door of the closet. The louvers allowed me to see into their room. They were wrapped tightly in an embrace, kissing one another as only people in love kiss.

I watched, curious to see what it was like with these men. I mean, I'd seen them show affection with one another before, but nothing heavy—nothing like right now.

Their lips fit perfectly together as they kissed. Their rock-solid arms were wrapped around one another, and I watched as Eli cupped Cain's chin with his hand, pulling his mouth even closer, allowing his tongue to trace his bottom lip.

Cain kissed Eli the same way that he had kissed me. It was signature. It was custom, I realized, as Cain's hands clasped the back of Eli's neck, pulling him in even further, as if he wanted to devour him. It was almost savage, but it was love, and it was beautiful to me.

Seeing their mutual love expressed so passionately and so fucking willingly to one another, took my breath away.

I decided that I wanted to be kissed like that again. The same way that Cain had kissed me before. I wanted it to happen again. I wanted more to happen because now I was perfectly clear on his feelings. So was Eli.

Cain finally broke away, and I wondered if I was going to see more of their love.

"Come on, Eli," he said, giving him a few more soft, butterfly kisses on his lips, "We'll talk more about this later, for now, we need to get the packages out of the trunk that Darcy sent over and under the tree before Paige wakes up. She gets so excited every time she sees another wrapped package added to the pile."

"Darce sent quite a haul over," Eli replied with a laugh. "I think this is going to be the best Christmas yet."

As soon as I was sure that they had headed back out, I literally came out of the closet, and scurried down the hallway towards my room.

Once inside, I crawled on top of my bed, bringing my legs up to my chin, and rested my head on my knees. I reflected upon the private conversation I'd heard—the one I had no business hearing, even though I was the topic of it. I thought of the way it had made me feel.