Carly Phillips - Body Heat

He moved to her side. His masculine scent was overpowering, seducing her with memories of last night. “You know I don’t find guarding your body a hardship.”

“So you like sex. That hardly makes me feel better right now.” But she was lying. Just knowing she had Jake by her side did make her feel much better. More confusion, she thought.

“I’m going to ignore that.”

But she didn’t miss the hurt in his tone. She knew she was being unreasonably cold toward him, but she couldn’t discount the fact that he’d let her wander the streets of New York, unaware that she was being followed by both a drug dealer and a detective he’d hired. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms.

His concerned gaze roamed over her. “You need to be careful, okay? Don’t go to the cafeteria or the supply closet or even the bathroom alone. Don’t walk anywhere by yourself, do you understand? I’ll bring David inside to meet you. He’s your bodyguard during the day. He’s smart and he’s good. What I’m saying is follow the rules and you won’t get hurt.”

She hugged herself. “And where will you be?”

“Getting Ramirez before he gets you.” He turned away.

“Jake, wait.” She grabbed on to his arm and held on fast. She didn’t want him putting himself in danger at all, but especially not for her.

Because she loved him. Oh God.

Love. She should have seen it coming and hadn’t. All she’d viewed was mountains of questions and hills of confusion. That hadn’t changed. She hadn’t a clue how she felt about loving this man who loved danger. She only felt an overwhelming need to protect him from himself.

He pivoted back to her. “What is it?”

“How? How are you going to get him?” she asked, her voice urgent.

“He wants me and he’s obviously using you to get to me. If I can’t get him for dealing, I’ll get him for attempted murder.”

Her heart skipped a beat and fear took hold. “Attempted murder of who? You? Who is that going to help?” Brianne asked. Because if anything happened to Jake, it wouldn’t help her. But it just might kill her.

“Attempted, sweetheart. He’s not going to hurt me, but he is going away. I want him behind bars where he belongs.”

She didn’t miss the fiery determination in his gaze or the absolute certainty in his voice. He’d get Ramirez and he didn’t care how. Brianne realized she was looking at Jake Lowell, the detective, and the thought of him putting himself on the line scared her more than being in danger herself.

She wanted to believe it was old habits returning. That she was experiencing the same fear she’d felt each time her parents walked out the door on a risky adventure, because she didn’t know if they’d come home to her. But in her heart she now knew this was different. Jake was different and so were her emotions and the feelings she had invested in him. She wasn’t experiencing a recurrence of old anxieties now. She was scared of losing Jake.

She squeezed his arm tighter. “You can’t make yourself a target. Jake, please. Promise me you won’t do that.”

There was regret in his eyes and etched into his handsome features. “I can’t make that kind of promise.”

“Why not? There’s an entire police force out there. You’re injured and on leave. You aren’t in top form. Let someone who’s got full strength handle things for you.” The pleading in her voice reminded her of the little girl she’d once been.

Mommy, Daddy, please don’t go. What if the race car crashes? What if the cord breaks? What if…what if…what if…? So many variations on the same theme and none of them had made a damn bit of difference. They’d walked out on her, anyway, until one day her worst fears had been realized-they hadn’t come back. From the uncompromising look on Jake’s face, he was going to do the same thing.

And, without warning, Brianne realized she had to let him. Because she was no longer that scared little girl, but a woman who’d already undergone the very terror she feared. And she’d survived.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have to do this,” Jake said.

“I know.” Though Brianne didn’t like it, she forced herself to admit she understood his reasons. Being a cop was part of who Jake was. He couldn’t walk away from a case. And she wouldn’t ask him to again.

“You understand?” His shock was tangible. His body jerked backward as if she’d slapped him.

She nodded. “Because I know you. It just couldn’t hurt to ask if you’d let someone else handle things.” The fact that she understood why he had to do this didn’t make it any easier to let him do his job, but she had no choice-just as she had had no choice but to pull herself together and raise Marc.

Until meeting Jake, Brianne had never acknowledged her inner strength, had never had a reason to face or begin to understand herself and the person she’d become. She’d always thought of herself as vulnerable, but she saw now that that was an illusion and she respected herself in a way she hadn’t before.

She met Jake’s stare. In the blue depths of his eyes, she saw a mixture of awe and uncertainty. He wasn’t sure he could trust her faith, and Brianne understood his reasons went beyond her dislike of his job. Jake’s ex-wife had bailed out on him-not just on his lack of money, but on him. Brianne couldn’t do the same.

She leaned over and brushed a kiss over his lips, a gesture meant as a show of faith. He grabbed on to her face and turned the kiss into something deep and meaningful. Or so she chose to believe-because she loved him, she thought once more. And she refused to sit back and let him risk his life to protect her, not without a little help in return.

She lifted her lips from his. “Go do your stuff,” she murmured.

He glanced at her, his eyes wide. She’d shocked him again. She wondered if he’d expected her to fall apart; if he believed, because her anxiety had resurfaced, that she couldn’t cope at all. It was possible. After all, he’d withheld the truth and hired a PI behind her back. She waited for him to question her, but, without another word, he walked out of the lounge, and a few minutes later returned with her watchdog. David was a burly guy with a baseball cap perched over blond hair and unemotional brown eyes.

She shook his hand and turned away. Though she was grateful for his presence, she was too consumed with the notion of proving to Jake as well as to herself not only that she was strong, but that she was his equal, that she could deal with the Ramirez situation, too. And, in the process, she intended to make sure nothing happened to her fantasy man.

Because when this mess was over, she wanted him alive and well. Not dead on the street. Her stomach churned and dizziness fought its way back, but Brianne, through deep breathing and sheer force of will, managed to stay in control. She’d impressed herself, and a smile fought its way to her lips.

She didn’t have a clue how things with Jake would wind up. She still didn’t know if she could accept the detective and his lifestyle-for herself and forever. Whether he even wanted her beyond this summer was also an open question.

The answers would come, Brianne knew, after Ramirez was out of their lives for good.

EVEN BEFORE Jake left her at the hospital, Brianne realized the only way out of the situation was to face down her fears. Only then would she know if she could handle Jake’s kind of life. Only then would she know if she had the courage to approach him and ask for forever.

An hour after Jake’s departure, Brianne drew a deep breath and walked into Marina Brown’s hospital room. The uniformed cop hadn’t given her a hard time, other than to check her hospital badge against hospital records. Mentioning Jake Lowell’s name hadn’t hurt her cause, either.

“Hello?” Brianne called to the woman curled into a fetal position in the bed.

“Hi.” The girl pushed herself up against the white pillows. “Are you another one of the Social Service people?”

Brianne shook her head. “No. I’m…” She swallowed hard. “My name is Brianne Nelson and I need your help.”

Brianne figured if she heard Marina’s story and discovered how the young woman had gotten drugs from The Eclectic Eatery, perhaps Brianne could attempt to do the same thing herself. It would take some doing, and she’d have to ditch her private investigator, but she’d manage. She’d worked in the hospital for years and knew every back alley and door. She could lose her tail easily. If she could actually get possession of drugs, she could prove the restaurant was the supplier, something Jake said the police had yet to do. After that, the cops could link the restaurant to Ramirez and put him away.

And Brianne would have taken the first step in getting the drug-dealing criminal out of their lives. She didn’t think she was smarter than New York’s finest, she just needed to take back her life and her future. Ramirez had intentionally and nefariously stolen her freedom, while Jake’s behavior-despite the best of intentions-had taken away her control. But between them they had brought back her worst childhood fears. The adult Brianne had to conquer them.

Fifteen minutes later, after an honest exchange with the young woman and a promise to visit tomorrow, Brianne had the general means by which to order drugs from The Eclectic Eatery. She just had no way of knowing which item on the extensive menu was the key. But she’d figure it out.

Brianne rubbed her palms up and down her forearms, then glanced back at the door, behind which the young girl lay with an IV in her arm. She also had a dead boyfriend.

Brianne refused ever to be in that same position. She wouldn’t let anything happen to Jake.

“YOU INVOLVED a goddamned civilian,” Lieutenant Thompson said in a low growl, eyeing Jake with fury in his eyes.

“Not intentionally, sir.” Jake remained standing before his superior, and waited for the smoke to clear and the older man’s anger to blow over.

Thompson’s face reddened and he kicked a metal garbage pail across the room and into the wall. Obviously the storm wouldn’t end anytime soon. Jake didn’t blame Thompson for wanting a piece of him. At the moment, he’d like to rip a piece of his own hide as well-for not leveling with Brianne the minute he’d realized Ramirez was tailing her.

But that was hindsight.

Now he acknowledged that Brianne was the strongest woman he knew. She’d overcome her past and raised her brother, and if she’d experienced a resurgence of any anxiety, she knew how to handle it. She’d proven that to him this morning. But at the time he’d realized Ramirez was watching her, Jake hadn’t known how she would react; keeping her in the dark had seemed the best means of protection.

But he had another reason for remaining silent-one he didn’t like admitting. The truth was that he hadn’t wanted to give Brianne the chance to turn him away. She hadn’t done it yet but she still might. It was something he wasn’t ready to contemplate.

“You questioned a goddamn police witness while officially off duty,” Thompson snarled.

“I didn’t question her, sir. We had a friendly conversation.”

“Friendly, my ass,” he muttered. “And your shoulder?”

“Hurts some.”

“I don’t care how it feels. Is it operational?”

“Close enough.” Jake winced as the lieutenant took another shot at the garbage pail. “Did you ever play soccer, Lieutenant?”

The older man scowled. “I don’t even want to know the reason you held out on me.”

Jake let out a groan and lowered himself into a chair by the desk. He might as well admit to the lieutenant that disillusionment had bit his sorry behind. “Ever since Frank died…” Jake began.

Thompson waved a hand in dismissal. “I said I don’t want to know. Not until this is over and Ramirez is behind bars. For now, get your ass into the physician’s office and get yourself certified as fit.”

Jake nodded, knowing he had no choice if he wanted in on the official end of busting Ramirez.

“Do I know everything now?” the lieutenant asked.

“Yes, sir.” Everything but the fact that Brianne was more than his physical therapist. If the lieutenant knew things were personal-and they were damn personal-he’d be even more furious than he already was.

This morning, she’d accepted him for who he was, cop and all. No woman had ever done that for him, not even the one he’d married. Jake hadn’t expected the gift from Brianne, not in light of her past, and certainly not after she’d discovered his betrayal. She’d deserved better from him.

“I want to talk to this Brianne Nelson.”

Jake started to argue, then shut his mouth. His gut reaction was to protect her, to leave her out of the loop. But he’d played the game that way once before and it had backfired. He hadn’t a clue if she planned to walk out on him when this was over, or what he intended to do about it. But he could only deal with the here and now. And Brianne could handle a talk with the lieutenant.