Elizabeth Reyes - Breaking Brandon

“I’m not leaving until I talk to her.” Sarah’s eyes opened wide, and she shook her head. “They can’t do this, Sarah. When I leave, it’s forever. There are some things I need to say to her first.”

Her eyes looked even more anxious now, and she continued to speak in her lowered voice. “This is so not the time or place—”

The front door slamming against the wall as it was pushed open made Sarah flinch and got their attention. As usual, Sofie’s hotheaded brother Alex looked incensed as he charged down the porch steps. “Why the fuck are you here, Billings?” he demanded, his hands already fisted at his sides.

Brandon stood his ground. He was sure it was the alcohol, but seeing her larger-than-life raging brother charge toward him with no hesitation and knowing that he’d no doubt be in a world of pain soon didn’t stop him from speaking up. “I wanna to talk to S-Sofie.”

“You’re out of your mind!” Alex sped up.

Brandon shook his head. “I won’t leave until—”

Alex’s fist hit him just under the eye, and he stumbled back. “You won’t leave?” Alex roared as he landed another fist to Brandon’s mouth, making him fall back onto the hood of the parked car just in front of Sofie’s house. “You think I’m letting you anywhere near my sister, asshole?”

Brandon blinked, shaking his head again. He’d always thought the expression “seeing stars” was just that, an expression. But he was literally seeing stars or bright specs flashing as he continued to shake his head again, blinking as he tried to clear his sudden double vision. Just as his vision was coming together and he could see straight, he noticed the amount of people who’d poured out of Sofie’s house. Sal, Angel, and some of the other men who were out there now held Alex back, but he could see it was a struggle.

“Get out of here, Brandon!” Sal yelled as Alex nearly came loose.

Even with the metallic-like taste of blood in his mouth, Brandon knew he was asking for it by staying, but he wasn’t leaving, not until he got his chance to talk to her. “I won’t leave!” he yelled, holding himself up against the car. “I wanna see Sofie!” He slurred, pounding on the hood of the car and pointed at the house. “Get her out here!” He turned up to the window on the second floor he knew was hers. “S-sofie!”

Alex came loose suddenly, and Brandon heard Alex’s mom cry out.

“Lo va a matar!”she shrieked. “Paren lo!”

“God damn it, Alex!” Sal reached out for Alex with both hands. “He’s not worth it!”

Alex grabbed Brandon by the throat, squeezing so hard Brandon’s ability to breathe was instantly blocked.

“She’s damn right. I am gonna kill him!” Alex growled as he slammed Brandon down against the car.

Between Sal, Angel, and several of the other men there, they finally pulled Alex off Brandon, and he held on to the car for dear life, gasping for air.

“Ya pues, hijo! Calmado!” Alex’s dad tried in vain to calm him as they all held him back.

As Brandon continued to gasp and cough, he looked up at Alex. “H-hit me.” He gasped. “Hit me all you want!”

“You see. He wants me to!” Alex yelled, trying to get loose as they pulled him further away.

“I won’t leave until I talk to her,” Brandon said, rubbing his neck.

This time he said it with a little less conviction because he was beginning to feel as if he might pass out. Sal said something to Sarah, who rushed into the house.

The hope that maybe Sal had told Sarah to go get Sofie was squashed with the next words out of Sal’s mouth. “It’s not happening. Look around, Brandon.” Sal pointed at his brothers and everyone else out there. “Do you really think you’re gonna get to talk to her?”

“Like hell he is,” Alex yelled.

Brandon glanced around. It wasn’t just Sofia’s family out there anymore. Everyone who lived in her cul-de-sac was out in their front yards, watching the spectacle. Then he looked up the street and saw his mom standing there in tears with her hand over her mouth. Brandon’s shoulders slumped in defeat. As much as he felt like looking Sal in the eyes and telling him that he would talk to Sofie before he left, he wouldn’t give Sal another reason to make his mom cry.

Even as calm as Sal was acting compared to Alex and as drunk as Brandon still felt, he’d sobered up enough to know saying something like that to him right now would land another fist on his already aching face. Some of the other guys in her family looked as if they were being held back now too. Brandon couldn’t care less about the physical pain. If his mother weren’t standing there, he’d gladly get pummeled just for the satisfaction of being able to tell all these fuckers he wasn’t giving up.

Pushing himself away from the car, he stumbled on his first steps.

“Brandon,” Sal said as he walked by him, his voice slightly lower and calmer now. Brandon didn’t turn to him, but he did stop. “Do not come back. You hear me? Stay the hell away from Sofia if you know what’s best for you.”

With a humorless chuckle, Brandon continued to walk but said nothing. Both Angel and Alex yelled out similar threats, but Brandon was done listening. They couldn’t keep him from her forever.

Waiting by the pharmacy for his dad’s meds, Brandon stood there, feeling numb. When he’d taken the emergency leave to come home, he’d known his dad was bad, but he had no idea things had progressed this much.

His parents hadn’t even realized it either. When they put the house up for sale, the plan was they’d all move to Georgia together. Using the money they got from their astronomically-priced California home, Brandon would buy a house in Georgia with cash. His mother would live off whatever was left from the sale and his dad’s pension. Considering the home prices in Georgia, there’d be plenty of money left over. Now his dad’s condition had taken such a turn the doctors said he was too ill to travel. The meds Brandon was picking up for him today were the last he’d ever pick up from a pharmacy for him because in a few days his dad would be admitted to a hospice where he’d live out the rest of what was left of his life.

Brandon wouldn’t even be there, since there was no way to know how long for sure his dad would be around and his leave was only temporary. Already strings had to be pulled to get a leave during the holidays on such short notice.

His reaction to seeing his dad’s condition decline so rapidly was not what he had expected. Brandon was certain he’d never felt his heart so heavy, not even through all he’d been through as a child. He’d always been able to just hold it all in and suck it up for his mom’s sake. She was going through enough as it was. She didn’t need to be brought down any lower by seeing his pain and fear.

He was determined, like all those times growing up, to be strong for his mom’s sake. Even though he’d been determined on New Year’s Eve to see and talk to Sofie, in the last few days, watching his dad deteriorate before his eyes, he needed to focus now on his parents. He needed to get his dad situated in a hospice before he left. The house needed to be sold because his dad wasn’t going to be around for long. Then he needed to step up and look after his mom as his dad had asked him to when he could still hold a conversation without going into an agonizing fit of coughing.

It was all he was focusing on now, even though a small stubborn part of him still wished he could’ve talked to Sofia one last time.

His number was called, and Brandon stepped up to pay for his father meds. He stared at the pharmacist as the man gave him some brief instructions, but Brandon barely heard anything he said. He paid and walked numbly through the store.

The moment he saw her car he froze. Sofie pulled into a parking spot and got out of her car. Brandon walked back into the store, not even sure what he’d say or how he’d approach her. All he knew was she was alone and this could be his last chance ever to speak with her.

He stood behind one of the magazine racks so she wouldn’t see him immediately and watched as she walked in and passed him. Watching, he waited until she’d stopped somewhere. When he saw her stop in the shampoo aisle, he was hit with brief reminder of how good her hair had smelled that day he kissed her. He’d come up from behind her, and, aside from how incredible it felt to have her body pressed against his, it was the first thing he’d noticed.

Gulping, he walked toward her slowly. The closer he got, the more he knew exactly what he wanted her to know. After his drunken fiasco in front of her entire family, he knew if things weren’t impossible between them before, they were now. But he still had to tell her.

“Hey, Sof,”

The moment she looked up at him she flinched. “Brandon!” Those beautiful eyes that had once smiled at him so warmly stared at him completely alarmed before looking around. “Did you follow me?”

“No, I was on my way out when I saw you pull in.”

“I can’t be around you. You have to understand—”

I know, Sof,” he said, cutting her off because he didn’t want to hear about her being so fucking forbidden to him anymore. “I just hoped I could speak with you before I left. Do you have a few minutes so we could go somewhere more private?”

“No!” She practically gasped.

Looking into her eyes this close again did something to him. She’d been the only one who could elicit these kinds of feeling in him. But now he felt something else—tortured. Any hope he had with her was gone. Yet he still needed her to hear what he had to say so he could just let it out and it wouldn’t be inside him anymore, tormenting him.

He glanced around, feeling desperate, and an emotion so unfamiliar began to overwhelm him. “Can you give me a second then, here?”

Sofia stared at him, still looking very apprehensive. “Make it fast.”

His emotions nearly betrayed him before he spoke, but he held it together and told her. “My old man is dying.”

The look of apprehension on her face was immediately replaced with that of surprise then complete sympathy. Brandon told her all about his father’s lung cancer and how they’d be selling the house. Then he apologized for all the troubles he’d caused her and grief he put her family through on New Year’s Eve.

She didn’t comment on his apology; instead, she stared at him, her eyes completely distraught, and shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Brandon. I had no idea.”

He explained he was just there to pick up his old man’s meds, showing her the bag, but that he was glad he’d run into her because there was more he needed to tell her.

Sofie stared at the bag of meds for a moment then back at him a bit confused. “Tell me what?”

It felt wrong telling her right there in the middle of a drug store. “Are you sure we can’t go somewhere else to talk?”

“No way, Brandon,” she said immediately, and he knew there was no way she was going to budge.

He’d have to tell her here or forever hold it in. “I’m in love with you, Sof.”

The moment he heard his whispered words he knew he’d made a mistake because he had to swallow back the giant-sized boulder in his throat that had been building the entire past week as he watched his dad slowly withering away. But it was too late now. It was too late to take it back, so he held it together, determined to finish. “I thought I was in high school. Last summer only confirmed it. I almost didn’t re-enlist because of that kiss.”

Her eyes welled up, but she said nothing. She didn’t have to. Her shaking head was enough, but the expression of pity on her face was just another blow to his already aching heart.

“Don’t worry. I know it’s impossible. I just needed to tell you before I left.” He swatted the one fucking tear that escaped the corner of his eye away. “I needed to say it to you if only once. I’m glad I got the chance.” He didn’t wait for her to respond. He couldn’t. He had to get out of there now, but he couldn’t resist the urge to touch her just one last time, so he reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “Good-bye, Sof.”

That was it. He couldn’t stand there for even another moment and look into those stunned eyes, eyes that said without a doubt he’d been completely wrong. She’d never felt for him what he he’d been so delusional enough to think she might.

Pushing through the front doors of the store, he nearly growled. He was infuriated that he’d been so close to losing it in front of her, something he’d vowed years ago he’d never do, not when he’d had to watch his mother suffer at the mercy of his father’s rage, not when his dad turned that same rage on him, not even when he found out his father was dying, and certainly not over feeling his heart crushed by the only girl he’d ever had feelings for.