“Christ, Mel, I thought I'd die out there on that hill with no goddamn sign of him.” He lay in her bed that night, thinking of it all again and she held him close against her and felt him tremble in her arms.

“It's all over, my love. He's safe, and it won't happen again.”

They didn't even make love that night. They held each other close, and Mel lay awake beside him for most of the night, watching him sleep until the sky lit up with the first light of dawn. She woke him gently then, and he went back to his own bed, and then she slept at last. But all she thought of all night was how much she loved him, and Pam, and Mark, and Matt, and how desperately she wanted nothing awful to happen to any of them again. It was the first time she had realized how much she loved them all, and how deeply they were lodged in her heart now. And when they all awoke the next day, they truly seemed like one family. The five children became inseparable from that moment on, and although Mel frequently saw Mark holding Val's hand, or looking into her eyes with that special glance that lit up her face, they never went off alone again and the remaining week slid by them much too quickly.

On their last night there, Peter took them all out, and they had a wonderful time, laughing and talking like old friends. To look at them one would never have known that they hadn't grown up under one roof, and no one would have believed the extent to which they had fought the trip at first. Peter smiled over at Mel several times. It had been a perfect vacation, despite that one ghastly night of looking for Matt, but even that seemed to be forgotten now.

They all sat by the fire until late that night, even Matt, who finally fell asleep on Jessica's lap, and she put him in his bed with Pam's help. And when they all parted at last that night, it was with regret to end their happy time, and Mel and Peter lay awake for hours that night, both of them sad to be leaving.

“I can't believe I'm leaving you again.” He was leaning on one elbow, looking down at her, after they'd made love.

“It can't be helped.” And then suddenly she had a thought, and she looked at him with a hopeful smile.

“Why don't you all spend the Labor Day weekend at Martha's Vineyard with us?”

“That's a hell of a long trip for three days, Mel.” He looked dubious, but he wanted to cling to any hope he could.

“Then stay a week.” Stay a month … stay a year …

“I can't.”

“But the kids could.” It seemed like a great idea to her. “Pam and Matt could. Mark will be through his job around then too. He could fly back for the weekend with you. The other two could come ahead.”

“It's a thought.” He smiled at her, not really thinking of the kids just then, but only of her. He wanted desperately to stay with her, but there was no way they could. “I love you so much, Mel.”

“I love you too.” And they lay back in each other's arms again and made love on and off until the dawn. They both looked depressed the next morning when they got up in their separate rooms. There would be no lovemaking again that night, no long walks in the woods or in fields of flowers. It was time to go home again. Back to reality, and clinging to him on the phone. But she brought up her idea for Labor Day and the kids cheered. “That does it then.” She looked victoriously at Peter and he laughed. He looked happy about the vacation too.

“All right. You win. We'll come.”

“Hurray!” You could hear their shouts halfway up the mountainside, and they chattered all the way from Aspen to Denver on the flight. The kids sat in one row straight across, and Peter and Mel sat alone for the last time. And in Denver, everybody cried, and Peter looked into Mel's eyes and whispered to her.

“I love you, Mel. Don't ever forget that.”

“Remember that I love you too.” The kids pretended not to watch, but Val and Mark smiled, and Pam turned away so as not to see, but she and Jessica were holding hands, which gave Pam some comfort. And Matt gave Mel a great big good-bye kiss.

“I love you, Mel!”

“I love you too.” She tore her eyes from his, and kissed each of the children, and told Pam, looking into her eyes. “Take good care of your dad.” She wanted to add “for me.”

“I will.” There was a new gentleness in Pam's voice, and they were all subdued as they went their separate ways and Matthew cried openly as his father led him to their plane.

“I want them to come with us.”

“You'll be seeing them again soon.”

“When?”

“In a few weeks, Matt.” Peter glanced at Mark then and saw a dreamy expression on his face. He wondered just how much had happened between him and Val but figured that it couldn't be much. And on the plane that left for Boston at the same time as the flight to L.A., Jessica and Val barely spoke, and Mel looked out the window seeing nothing there except a vision of Peter's face. Three weeks till Labor Day seemed endless to her, and then what? An endless year until Aspen again? It was madness they had inflicted on themselves, but Mel knew, as well as Peter did on the flight to L. A., that for them it was too late to turn back now.





CHAPTER 22

“Boy, you two sure are a lot of fun.” Valerie almost killed herself getting to the mailbox every day to check for letters from Mark, and each time Mel left the house she would come back and casually ask, “Anyone call?” and both girls would laugh. Only Raquel seemed to treat it all like a serious illness that had descended on their home. She warned them all that in six months … they'd see! She never finished her warnings, but they sounded ominous to everyone, and Mel always listened to her with amusement.