Nicole Edwards - Chasing Dreams

“So, are you a regular here as well? Are they going to bring something out before you ever order it?”

Cooper laughed, enjoying the way she liked to tease him. It had been quite some time since he had been on a real date with a woman. One who wasn’t more curious about his music career or the people he knew than who he really was.

“Nope. But if you’d like to join me for breakfast every morning, we can change that.”

Tessa’s face flushed, and she looked down at her menu again. He heard her mumble something along the lines of “Cowboy, you can’t handle me every morning”, but he didn’t say anything. He could show her just how much he could handle if she wished to dare him.

The waiter arrived to take their order, and they rattled off what they wanted. A few minutes later, they were sitting quietly while Tessa fussed with her coffee, adding cream and sugar. Cooper took his black, so he remained silent, waiting patiently until she was finished.

“Do you go out to breakfast a lot after work?” he asked just to make conversation.

“Every now and then Eric and I will stop somewhere. On some nights that Miranda works at the bar, we’ll stop afterward, especially if things were hectic. Just some time to unwind.”

“So why tonight? Alone?”

“I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep,” she said, and her honesty had that strange sensation surging through him. Cooper liked how open she was with him, although sometimes he didn’t think she meant to be.

“You weren’t gonna be the only one,” he admitted as he watched for her reaction.

There was a minute or two of silence and then Cooper realized she wasn’t going to talk if she didn’t have to. Considering there was so much he wanted to know about her, he figured he’d start tonight.

“Does your mom ever stop by The Rusty Nail?”

Ok, so jumping in with both feet might not have been the way to go based on Tessa’s horrified expression, but Cooper decided he would let the question hang until she answered with something.

“I don’t want to talk about me,” she finally said when the silence was almost suffocating.

“I didn’t ask about you. I was asking about your mother,” he explained.

“Same difference,” she retorted.

“Not really, no.”

Another round of silence sat heavily between them until, finally, Cooper saw the moment Tessa surrendered.

“My mother rarely leaves the house,” she said softly, her hands wrapped tightly around the coffee mug in front of her. “She’s been that way since I was a child.”

“She doesn’t work?”

“Not now she doesn’t. When I was younger, before she met my stepfather she did.”

“What did she do?” Cooper knew he had to keep the dialogue going, or Tessa was going to shut down on him, and he truly wanted to get to know her.

“She was a secretary for a law firm. For a while after she met Michael, Jack’s dad, she continued to work. It wasn’t until after they got married that she decided to quit.”

“Are you close with her?” Because the question was a little more personal, Cooper didn’t expect her to answer.

“No.” There was a long pause before Tessa continued. “My mother was diagnosed with depression many years ago. After she met Michael. Up until that point, we had no idea what was wrong with her. My dad left when Adam and I were kids, and for the longest time, that’s what I thought was wrong with her. But then she met Michael and she seemed happy. For a while. And then it was like a vicious cycle. Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Over and over and we didn’t know how to fix it for her.

“Finally, Michael took her to the doctor. Since he’s quite a bit older than my mother, he was worried that she regretted marrying him even after she assured him that wasn’t the case. Jack was in high school before we found out she had depression. So, needless to say, she and I lost a lot of years in between.”

That explained a lot. Cooper knew that Adam wasn’t close to his mother either, and truthfully, he hadn’t expected such an in-depth answer from Tessa. “Is she better now?”

“When she takes her medicine she is.” Tessa looked so lost and so sad, Cooper wanted to rip her out of her seat and wrap his arms around her.

“See, and that’s why I don’t like talking about me,” Tessa added. “My life story’s not all that interesting and I don’t want your pity.”

Cooper grabbed Tessa’s arm when she would’ve jumped out of her seat and walked out on him.

“Sit down,” he demanded, keeping his voice low.

Tessa lowered herself back down in her seat and stared at him as though he’d lost his mind. He was beginning to think he had.

“I’m sorry. I want to get to know you and I haven’t yet learned what the banned topics are yet.”

Tessa seemed to relax as she resettled herself in the booth, but she didn’t say anything.

“I’m not trying to pry, Tessa. I think this is how this is supposed to work.”

“How what is supposed to work?” she asked.

“You know, the whole dating thing. Aren’t we supposed to get to know each other?”

“We’re not dating,” she said abruptly.

Cooper couldn’t suppress the grin. He loved how feisty she was. “No need to get defensive,” he teased. “We’re just having breakfast.”

He was saved from any rebuttal from Tessa because the waiter decided to bring their food out. Cooper was grateful for the interruption. The fire seemed to be smoldering in Tessa’s eyes, but he knew she needed a minute or two.

But then, he was pretty sure he was going to be in for it.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Tessa hated talking about herself. Hated talking about her mother and their issues. And above all else, she hated dating. Well, the last part wasn’t necessarily an issue because until Cooper, she hadn’t been on a real date in… well, forever.

Not that they were dating. Nor would this be classified as a date, if, in fact, the two meant different things.

Tessa occupied herself by staring at her food, moving the eggs around her plate with her fork until Cooper cleared his throat and she glanced up at him.

“Eat.”

She wanted to tell him to make her, but then she realized how childish that sounded even in her own mind. And that made her smile, which in turn made Cooper smile. As her appetite slowly returned, Tessa tried to come up with some questions for him since he obviously now knew more about her than she did him.

“What about your parents?” she asked when he put his fork down to take a sip of his coffee.

“What about them?” He didn’t seem fazed by her question as he watched her like a hawk watches its prey.

“Are you close to them?”

“Yeah, we’re close,” he said, his answer hesitant.

Tessa wasn’t proud of the fact that she wasn’t close to her mother, but she never held it against anyone else. Izzy’s parents were still married, and they doted on their daughter as much as Izzy would let them. And of course, there were Richie’s parents, who were still together, but had moved out of Devil’s Bend shortly after Richie died. They still called to check on Tessa frequently, but as time passed, she had stopped answering their calls. It was too hard to talk to them because they were a vivid reminder of what she had lost. She often wondered if it was a relief for them that she’d all but disappeared from their lives. She knew they wouldn’t say as much, but she still had to wonder.

Wanting to get away from the depressing thoughts, Tessa shoveled a forkful of eggs in her mouth as she pondered her next question.

“Do you see them often?”

“At least once a month, sometimes more depending on my tour schedule.”

Tour schedule. For the past couple of weeks, things had been so normal with Cooper around, she actually forgot what he did for a living. Somewhere along the way, she’d gotten used to him being at the bar and the reminder that he wasn’t a permanent fixture in town was like a punch to the throat.

“Do they come to your shows?” she asked, suddenly wanting to get off of this subject. Off of any subject really. Tessa was scared to get to know Cooper better, scared that she would like him even more than she already did and that would make it more difficult to keep herself distanced from him.

Which she definitely had to do.

“When they can they do.”

Cooper must’ve sensed her discomfort because he leaned forward and placed his hand on her arm. Tessa just stared at the place where he touched her for what felt like a long time.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said softly. “I just want to get to know you.” Cooper paused, and Tessa dared to look up, her eyes meeting his and holding. “You’re a lot like your brother, you know that?”

“Which one?” Tessa knew exactly which one, but the question just came out.

“Adam. He doesn’t share much with anyone.”

“Adam has his reasons,” Tessa said abruptly. She didn’t know all of what Adam kept inside, but she absolutely understood his need to keep his feelings and experiences to himself. “And I’ve got my reasons.”

“I get it,” Cooper said softly. “It still makes me crazy. When we were in college, getting information from him was like pulling teeth. Kinda like with you.”

Cooper laughed, and the sound eased some of her tension, causing her to laugh too. She knew he was right about Adam because she had thought the same thing in the past. Not that she felt it was a bad thing that they didn’t share their life stories with everyone. Tessa knew how easy it was for someone to hurt you if they knew you. Trust didn’t come easy and, unfortunately, she and Adam had learned that early on with their father.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s easy for you because you’re in the spotlight all the time so you’re used to sharing your deepest, darkest secrets, but I’m not.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Cooper said gruffly, the warmth of his hand disappearing from her arm and leaving her chilled all of a sudden. The look in his eyes matched the temperature as it plummeted due to the cold chill that ran down her spine.

“Being in the spotlight makes it difficult to keep anything private. The things people learn about me don’t usually come from me or from anyone who knows me.”

Tessa suddenly wanted to do anything to erase the anger off of Cooper’s face. She didn’t want to see him upset or mad, and she knew that her own defensiveness had resulted in this night going so terribly wrong. With a small smile, she reached over and touched his arm. “This not-really-a-date isn’t going all that well, is it?”

For long seconds, Cooper just stared at her. Long enough that Tessa’s stomach started to churn. Just when she pulled her hand back, Cooper’s deep, rumbling laugh echoed through the entire restaurant and Tessa responded with a laugh of her own.

“I’m just glad this isn’t really a date,” Cooper said when he settled.

“Why’s that?”

“Because you still owe me one date,” he replied smoothly.

Well, damn. Now he got her on a technicality.

Sneaky bastard.

By the time Tuesday evening rolled around, Cooper was giddier than a teenage boy on prom night hoping to get laid for the first time. And despite his body’s desperate ache, he found he longed to spend some uninterrupted time with Tessa. Maybe a chance to talk like they had at breakfast, although he would certainly ensure he didn’t pick the wrong topics this time.

Suffice it to say, he was more interested in talking as opposed to just the possibility of sex. He wanted to say that as far as the sex was concerned, he could take it or leave it. However, if it were actually a multiple choice question, he would absolutely pick sex. No questions asked.

Either way, he just wanted to see Tessa again.

He hadn’t bothered to tell her anything about where they were going, so when she called him at three o’clock to ask about what she should wear, his anxiety level had ratcheted up at least one hundred notches. Luckily, he managed to keep a firm grip on his man card by not running straight to her house, and he’d gone over to his new house – new to him, which was certainly the only thing new about it – to take care of a few things.

With electricity and water on, he had opted to head back to the motel and pack up his things, followed by a trip to the big box department store just outside of town. He wouldn’t have any furniture until the movers delivered his things on Thursday, but it wasn’t like he didn’t know how to rough it for a night or two.