Nicole Edwards - Chasing Dreams

As it turned out, she was just a means to an end for Chad. He had been an up and coming country music singer and he was more popular in his own head than he was anywhere else. But Tessa had honestly liked him. He was handsome, charming. He was also a notorious flirt. And he was using her to play at The Rusty Nail, trying to lay the groundwork for his future stardom – which never came.

Needless to say, the very first time she was approached by one of Chad’s buddies, she had known then and there that what had happened between them surely hadn’t stayed between them. Another reason to add to the long list of his short comings.

Apparently, her breaking up with him had been a blow to Chad’s ego and rather than acting like a rational adult, he’d turned on her. A man who had professed his love for her on more than one occasion had turned on her so fast, her head spun.

Before she even knew what happened, rumors were spreading about how easy she was. How she had begged him to have sex with her on their second date. It didn’t seem to matter that he was lying, nor did it matter that she had never been with another man since her husband died. The rumors spread and Tessa vowed never to let it happen again.

Until Cooper.

It was as though he flashed one of those flirtatious, lopsided grins and her panties fell off. And last night, she’d given in to the pleasure her body sought so desperately. She wanted to savor every second she was with him. Only she should’ve known better. She should’ve thought about the repercussions.

When he left her on her front porch, he didn’t seem happy. He had kissed her quickly on the lips, then disappeared down the steps, leaving her to stare after him. Or maybe that’s just what she expected. Either way, regret was eating a hole right through her.

The water in the shower began to chill, and Tessa quickly turned it off, reaching for the towel she had tossed on the closed toilet seat. She wrapped the plush cotton around her, but she couldn’t seem to ward off the bone chilling cold that had replaced any warmth from the night before.

Why did she do this to herself? Why did she compare every man to Chad? Or to Richie for that matter?

She didn’t have the answers, didn’t think she would ever have them. The only thing she knew for a fact was that she wasn’t willing to let herself get close to Cooper. She should probably clarify that – she wouldn’t get any closer than she already was.

What happened between them last night would live in her memory forever, and hopefully, it would always remain between just the two of them. Tessa wasn’t sure what she’d do if she had to relive the painful lies all over again.

Geez, she really needed to get out of her funk. And soon.

Grabbing her cell phone, she dialed Izzy’s number, knowing that her best friend would be her only saving grace at this point.

* * *

It’d only been three hours since Cooper dropped Tessa off at her house, yet it felt like days since he’d last seen her. Although he had busied himself by running to the hardware store and picking up a truckload of wood to repair the deteriorating porch, and had actually forced himself to work on it, he couldn’t keep his mind from drifting back to the night before.

He’d had to start working on the front porch, just to avoid going to the back of the house because the memories were even stronger there. Cooper could still see Tessa sprawled out beneath him, feel her sharp nails as they dug crescent shapes into his shoulders, hear the soft, gasping moans that had the blood rushing south in an instant.

Cooper had no idea what fascinated him so much about the woman. Considering they seemed to be at separate places in their lives - him wanting to settle down, her not looking for a relationship of any sort, aside from perhaps friends with benefits. It didn’t stop him from wanting her. Wanting to get to know her and not just what made her body burn. He wanted to know what made her smile, made her laugh. What made her so jaded.

Whatever was going on with her, she didn’t seem interested in sharing with him. This morning was proof because as soon as they’d made love with the early morning sun shining down upon them, she’d practically raced to get away from him. He had been confused, but not necessarily surprised. They didn’t talk much on the drive to her house, and when he walked her to her door, she had barely been able to look him in the eye. The last part was what did him in.

Cooper could accept her need to keep things casual, even if he didn’t agree with it. However, he wasn’t willing to be a notch in her bedpost any more than he’d want her to be one in his. No matter how many sexual partners he’d had in his past, Cooper had never been able to look at a woman that way.

Truth be told, he was never with nearly as many women as the media liked to proclaim. Mainly for that reason. He found that most of the women he met were interested in one of two things: being able to brag about their conquest, or eager to get their hands on his money. Some were even interested in both. He’d gotten used to the expectations, and yes, he had used sex to take the edge off from time to time. But things were different with Tessa. Significantly different.

There was chemistry there, obviously. But there was something more.

Taking a break, Cooper headed inside, checking his cell phone to see if he’d missed any calls. He hadn’t. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler he had filled with ice during his trip into town, and stood at the back door, staring through the screen. He purposely avoided glancing down at the floor, or the railing.

Shit.

Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, Cooper tried to think of something other than Tessa. The problem was, he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He was acting like a damn woman, and it was beginning to piss him off.

Before he could give in to his frustration his cell phone rang, and his heart leaped right into his damn throat. Picking it up from the table, he glanced at the caller id and groaned.

“What’s up?” he greeted the one man he wasn’t interested in talking to at the moment.

“Coop. Where’re you at, man?” Marcus asked the same question he’d been asking for days. Cooper didn’t understand why Marcus didn’t just track his cell phone to pinpoint his exact location.

“At home.”

“Home? As in Nashville? Why the hell didn’t you say so?” Marcus’ tone had turned upbeat quickly, and Cooper couldn’t help but smile.

“Not Nashville,” he answered, trying his best to hide the amusement in his voice. He wasn’t proud that he found satisfaction in being the downturn in Marcus’ day. Ok, so maybe he was proud.

“What the hell are you talking about? When are you coming back, Coop?”

“I’m not,” he answered honestly.

“Come on, man. If this is depression or some shit, I know we can get you some help. I just need to know when you’re coming back. I’ve got people starting to ask a lot of questions.”

Cooper frowned. This was the problem with Marcus. He never listened. Not that Cooper was much of a talker, but when he did, he expected the man who claimed to have his best interest in mind to actually listen to him. “It’s not depression.”

Marcus’ voice lowered, sounding more than a little irritated, “You know you’ve got a contract, don’t you?”

“Yep,” he answered, not giving a shit about the contract. He had one album about to release and one more he’d signed on to do. At this point, he wasn’t sure what that meant for him or the album, but he wasn’t interested in thinking about it at the moment.

“So, what? You’re just going to run away?”

Damn it. Why the hell were people saying that? Cooper wasn’t running.

“I’ve got some things to take care of. I need some time.”

“How much time?” Marcus asked, relief threaded through the words.

A year? Ten, maybe? Hell, Cooper had no idea. He had no intention of throwing himself headlong into the fray at this point. He just bought a damn house and he was actually beginning to feel more normal. It was a feeling he’d missed for so long, he barely remembered what it even felt like.

“I’ve got to go, M. I’ll call you in a couple of weeks, and we’ll figure out what comes next.”

“Godammit, Coop!”

With that parting shot, Cooper disconnected the call and tossed his cell phone back on the table. The call had successfully managed to disengage all thoughts of Tessa, but now he couldn’t help but wonder whether he actually was running or not. If so, what from?

More importantly, would he be running again?

“I still can’t believe it. Cooper Krenshaw sang at The Rusty Nail?” Izzy declared as the two of them sat on Tessa’s front porch, drinking wine and watching the dogs play in the yard.

Thankfully, the instant Izzy realized Tessa needed someone to talk to, she came over. Then again, the two of them had always been like that. Ever since they were teenagers.

“He did. You should’ve been there. It was wild,” Tessa mentioned, not turning to look at Izzy. She knew her face was red because her skin was flaming hot as thoughts about the night before danced in her brain.

“But he’s still here, right? He didn’t just sing and leave town?” Izzy asked.

Because of so many things going on, Tessa hadn’t had much time to just sit and talk to Izzy lately, and based on her best friend’s questions, she realized how far behind they were in playing catch up with what was going on in each other’s lives.

“He’s still here,” she confirmed.

“Have you talked to him?”

Yes, among other things, Tessa thought to herself.

“Adam brought him over the next day and officially introduced us.”

“And?”

“And what?” Tessa shot her best friend a questioning look.

“Tessa Lynn Donovan, I know you’re hiding something from me. You better spill it and spill it quick.”

Tessa laughed. She loved how passionate Izzy got when she felt as though someone was holding out on her. In this case, it was true, but Tessa wasn’t willing to share anything that happened between her and Cooper with anyone. Not even her best friend.

Although Izzy had stood by her when Chad went from sweet boyfriend to spurned dickhead, Tessa still had a hard time trusting anyone with her most private thoughts.

“No way!” Izzy exclaimed, pushing back on the porch swing and sending it rocking as she pouted.

From her perch on the side railing, Tessa smiled at her friend.

“You aren’t really going to hold out on me, are you?”

“I am.”

“You have to at least tell me about him. Why’s he still here in Devil’s Bend anyway?”

Tessa sipped her wine and stared back out at the yard where Havoc and Harmony were crashed beneath the shade of the old oak tree.

“From what I can tell, I think he’s looking for something to do on the side.” Which was true. “He bought the Deluth farm though, so I think he’s planning to stay for a while.”

“Are you serious?” Izzy’s swinging motion stopped abruptly as she sat upright and stared at Tessa. “Cooper Krenshaw moved here? Like permanently?”

Tessa was surprised that Izzy asked that question first. Her friend had known full well that she was trying to buy the Deluth land as well. She had to fight the urge to sulk because her best friend had missed the entire point of her comment. “I don’t know about permanently, but yep, he bought a house.”

For any normal person, buying a house would probably mean putting down roots. But for a famous country music star who owned at least one other house that she knew of, it probably wasn’t the same. He could very well be planning to build his equestrian center and then leave it to be run by others. She just didn’t know. Then again, she could just be letting her negative thoughts take hold.

Did she want him to stay? The question was hard for her to answer. That meager piece of her heart that was yearning for something she felt was out of her reach said yes, she’d like to have the opportunity to get to know him. See if whatever this was between them actually went somewhere.

Then there was her jaded side. The part of her that she kept closed off from anyone and everyone, including her best friend and her brothers. Tessa didn’t want anyone to know how vulnerable she actually was. It wasn’t a becoming trait as far as she was concerned, so she tried to keep it buried down deep.