This was one fact I did understand.  Denial worked pretty well for me at times.

“I’ve loved you for so long a time it makes me afraid this is all a dream,” she said.  “I’m so afraid of losing all of this with you, Neil.”

“No.  You’re not losing me.  I’m here right now, and when I’m gone away I’ll still be with you every day inside here,” I said, placing a hand over her heart, “until we’re together again, and I can have my hands on you.”

She snuggled closer and held me a little tighter.

“Do you believe me?” I asked carefully.

I felt her nod into my shoulder but she stayed quiet.

“What’s wrong?  Just afraid?”

“Yeah.”

Something was on her mind I could tell.

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, Cherry, because I need to know.”

She traced her fingertip over one of my nipples, making a shiver roll through me, and sending my cock on the fast track to recovery.

“It’s nothing…I’m just selfish with you.  I want you all to myself and I never want to share you with anybody.”  She looked up at me.  “I want it all.  You need to know that I won’t share you, Neil.  I can’t do it and I won’t.”  Her voice was harder than usual and the meaning behind the tone worried me a little.

“What do you mean?  Share me with…other girls?”  I shook my head.  “There’s nobody but you.  Elaina?  What is all this about?”

She shook her head again.

I gripped her a little tighter.  “Tell me, darlin’, what has you worried about me?”

She swallowed and looked down.  “Well, you’re—you are always so careful with us when we have sex.  Always so careful about the condoms…and you don’t need to be that way.  I’ve told you I’m on the pill and it bothers me that you—that you don’t want to be all the way close with me…like you’re afraid to make the commitment, or—or s-something with me.”

Silence.

I learned a valuable lesson in that moment.  Never, ever, ever, assume you know what a woman is thinking in her head.  That way leads to utter confusion and disaster.  Elaina had read me all sorts of ways of wrong.

“Oh, Cherry, you want to know why I am so careful about wrapping up every time?”

“Yes.”  She nodded with a sad look in her beautiful blue eyes.

“It’s not because I’m thinking of who next I might bang, because there’s nobody.  I’m only thinking of you.”  I kissed the top of her head.  “Of how much I love you.”  Another kiss.  “Of how precious you are, and how determined I am to make our life perfect together.”  I lifted her face up.  “There’s nobody else I’m committed to, Cherry.  Only you.  I’m not going to fuck it up by getting you pregnant before I go off to war.  That would hurt you.  No unplanned babies for us.  I won’t do that to you, and I won’t do it to an innocent child.  I was one of those babies and I absolutely won’t do it to one of mine.  What if something happened to me over there and I couldn’t come home to you?  If you were left alone to raise a child without me.  You’re too young for all that and it’s irresponsible of me to risk that.  I will never risk you, Elaina.  I love you too much.”

Her face cupped in my hands, she nodded up at me.  “But I would want anything that came from you, from us loving each other.  No baby of yours could ever be unwanted by me, Neil.  Surely you know that.”

God, she was amazing.  “I do now.”  I smiled at her.  “And some day we will make a few together, and they will be so beautiful with you for a mum.”

“With you for a dad,” she said with a gorgeous smile.

“Feeling better now that we’ve planned out our future together?” I asked.

“Yes.”  She shifted in the water and brought her lips down to kiss my chest right over my heart.

The gesture did something to me.  Elaina was my switch.  Or more so, she was the person who operated my switch.  She controlled me, and I was perfectly happy with that arrangement.

As her lips trailed over my chest and even lower for parts desperate to feel her touch again, I was lost.  Lost and desperate to find my way back inside her.  Driven to claim her body more times than I needed to, but she felt so good, I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.

So, that’s what I did for the rest of the morning…focused on my girl and making her come so many times, she just had to forget about the worries and fears that bothered her.  She had me to carry that burden for her.  I’d make sure my Cherry Girl never had to worry about anything.  I’d always be there for her, loving her and taking care of her.

I fully intended to.  My motives were sound, but my naiveté completely shrouded the twisting paths of fate and how it can rear up and take everything away from you in an instant.  One should never underestimate what fate has in store for you.  It has a way of gaining the upper hand and can hold onto that power for a long, long time.

I was that naive.

* * *

“Hold still, this is a great shot of you.”  Taking pictures of Elaina was becoming my new favorite pastime.  She was a magnificent subject anyway. The particular shot of her, under a flowering tree loaded with pale pink blossoms, was so perfect for her.  We thought it was some kind of ornamental cherry tree from how the flowers looked.  My Cherry Girl under a cherry tree.  Cliché yes, but spectacular all the same and I fully intended to have some prints made that I could frame.

“The blossoms are everywhere.  It’s almost like snow.”  She spun around with her arms out.

I took photo after photo while she indulged me, so grateful I’d have this beautiful memory of us there together on the last day before we had to head back home.

“So what do you want to do on our last day, beautiful girl?”

She made a face at me and circled around the tree trunk.  “Oh, I haven’t told you my news yet.”

I lowered my camera.  “What news?”

She peeked around the tree at me.  “The news about how I’m not going back to London at all.  I’ll be staying here under this cherry tree, and taking boat rides on Lake Leticia every day, and watching the dragonflies flitting over the water.”

I made my way over to her.  “Really.”

She moved around to the other side of the tree. “Yes, really.  I thought you should be aware of it since you’re going to be living here with me.”  Her expression was deadpan.

I started to reach for her but she moved again, switching to the other side of the tree trunk.  My sweetheart liked a bit of fun and games at times.  “You want me to stay here with you under this cherry tree, Cherry?” I asked slowly, my eyes tracking, picking my opportunity to lunge for her.

She nodded and shifted again to the other side, keeping me at a distance, her eyes tracking me, just as much and I was her.  “You have to stay here with me, Neil.”

“I do, eh?  Because you love me so much?”  I inched closer.

Her expression betrayed her because she couldn’t help the devilish gleam that appeared in her eyes when she shook her head.  “No, I need someone to row the boat!”

I sprinted for her and she took off shrieking, both of us laughing when I got my hands on her, and pulled us down into the soft grass.

I trapped her beneath me and tickled first, getting lots of playful groping in between the kisses and general horseplay.  She got some good digs in too, and damn if she discovered I was ticklish as hell in the ribs.

“Now, be a good girl and let me kiss you,” I warned, pinning her hands down to the grass so she couldn’t get at me with more tickling.

Her eyes flared and she tilted her head to the side a bit, her hair strewn out around the grass with a few blossoms already fallen down to land all around us.

She got that softness in her expression I adored, and in the way her body melted into mine.  She let me soak her up, and kiss her until we were both breathless, and wishing that time would just stop altogether.

* * *

We made out cloud shapes from the grassy bank with the cherry tree blossoms still floating down.  By that time, we were covered in them, but it was futile to brush them away as more just kept falling.  Neither of us seemed to mind and the blooms had just the barest light scent so they weren’t overpowering at all.

“I see a leaping frog at two o’clock just there.”  I pointed.  “See how his back legs are out and the webbed feet—”

“Oh look, Neil, don’t move!”

I froze.  We both stared at my outstretched finger where one of those glowing blue dragonflies had chosen to land.  I brought my hand closer very slowly, and miraculously it stayed on my finger.

“It’s so pretty.  Just look at the colours of blue,” she said softly, as we both studied the insect.  Seemingly unperturbed by our presence, the dragonfly extended its wings and lifted its legs to take a step or two.

“Amazing that the colour is from nature isn’t it?”

“It really is.  Like a sky blue crossed with a metallic blue.  I love it so much.”

“You said that sky blue is your favorite colour.” I felt the vibration of movement and then the dragonfly was off my finger and flying away.

“Oh, there he goes,” she said, “and yeah, sky blue is my favorite.”  If I wasn’t mistaken I’d say there was some sadness to her comment.

“Why do you love the colour of sky blue so much?”

“It’s the colour of the sky when it’s beautiful on a sunny day.”

I nodded and looked back up at the sky, searching for more shapes.

“September 11 was a sunny day,” she said very softly.

I understood my girl so well.  She had reasons for most of the things she did, and this was a very good example of that.

“The colour of the sky reminds you of your dad.”

She snuggled into my side.  “Yeah.  It’s so pretty and soft looking.  I like to think of him up there in the clouds of heaven or something.  It was the last place I know where he was alive and it was such a beautiful day…” her voice trailed off.

I played with her splayed-out hair as we lay on our backs, content to touch its silkiness, until I heard a soft sound, and felt a small shudder, as she turned and wept in the crook of my neck.  Telling me had brought out very painful emotions.  I understood how that worked.  You were fine holding onto your deepest feelings just fine, but as soon as you shared them with somebody, the flood of hurt came busting out.

“He’s there waiting for you, Cherry.  He’s proud of you and happy if you’re happy.  There’s no pain or sadness where your dad is.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“I just do.  I have to believe in something and I believe in this.  For your dad and my gran—the good people—they are in a better place now.  And we can miss them, but I know they would only want us to be happy.”

“I just love you so much,” she told me, her eyes still brimming with tears.

“I love you so much, and I’ll be coming home to you when I’m done with the army and we can start our life together.  We’ve got nothing but time.”

“Okay then, I’ll be here waiting for you right here at this cherry tree.”  She tried to give me a smile with her little tease but I could see it was still hard for her.  The next months would be hard on both of us.

“I know.  When I return, we’ll come back up here for our reunion weekend.”  I pulled up her chin toward me and met her beautiful, sad face.  “What do you say to that idea, darlin’?  Back here at Hallborough, you and me, cherry blossoms, row boats and blue dragonflies.”

“Better make it a week, captain.  A measly weekend just won’t do for me.”

“Thank the blessed gods for that, because I’m going to need lots and lots of long baths in that tub together before I’m even close to recovered from being separated from you, Cherry Girl.”

I held her close up against me and worried.  I couldn’t shake the feeling of gloom that hung in the air and feared I might be losing my mind.  I tried to remember that as I left for my tour this time, I was leaving England with the girl I loved waiting for me back home.

Elaina would wait for me.  She’d needed the reassurance that I would always be her man, but we’d worked that out.  I’d promised her there was nobody else who could take my heart away from her and I meant it with everything I had in me.

I closed my eyes and held her and prayed.  I prayed that everything would play out, and fate would be kind, and my beautiful girl would be here for me when I came home.