Cindi Madsen - Cinderella Screwed Me Over

He pointed to the initials on the tree. “Looks like you bring all the guys here.”

“That’s from high school when I was dating one of my brothers’ friends.” I sat up, pulling my hair to the side and twisting all the water I could get out of it. “Actually, this is one of my favorite places. I’ve never brought anyone but Gil here because I knew they wouldn’t appreciate it. Not to mention after Drew and Devin got ahold of the others, they refused to get on a horse again.” I put my hand on Jake’s firm chest and smiled. “Since you’re apparently part farm boy, I figured you could handle the horse ride it takes to get here.”

Jake sat up and kissed my shoulder. “It’s nice. Peaceful.”

“This is where I used to come to get away from everything and everyone. Moving to the ranch was a rough transition for me.” I told Jake about how things were at first, my brothers coming to my rescue at school, and Dwight getting me involved by training Major. “We’re not your conventional family, but they took me in, taught me a lot about what family really means, and I love them.”

“What about your dad? You don’t talk about him much.”

I looked out over the water. I’d only talked about my relationship with my dad with one other guy. “Before he and my mom got divorced, they fought all the time. Still, they were my parents. I didn’t want our family split. When I saw how happy they were apart, though, I finally got it. My mom found Dwight and my dad got remarried and moved to Florida with his wife. For a lot of years, he and I didn’t have a very good relationship, but we finally worked past our issues, and now we talk on the phone and visit back and forth when we can.”

Jake took my hand and laced his fingers through mine. “I’m sure that was hard. I get how something like that might make you question love.”

I shook my head. “Even after my parents divorced, I still believed in love. It was all the relationships I had after it that beat it out of me. That taught me better.” My chest squeezed. I wanted to try, I did, but my heart remembered this painful path way too well, and it was shouting a warning at me I couldn’t ignore.

I can’t do it. I’d rather be a chicken than open myself up to getting hurt again. “We should probably get back.”

When I tried to stand, Jake tugged my arm, keeping me next to him. “Anything worth having takes hard work and a little risk.” He slipped his hand behind my neck and gently pressed his lips to mine. He kept it short and sweet, but there was enough tenderness behind the kiss that when he pulled away and looked in my eyes, I knew he was trying to tell me that he wasn’t giving up on me.

Hope rose up, taking the edge off the fear lodged in my chest. I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten lucky enough to meet this guy, and I didn’t know if we could have a real relationship, but I knew I didn’t want to let him go.

We put on our clothes, climbed on the horses, and rode back across the ranch. After getting oats for the horses, I walked over to Jake and hugged him. It felt like we were under an enchanted spell and I was afraid leaving would break it.

I knew it was time to say good-bye to my family, but knowing it didn’t make it any easier. When we got inside the house, Jake and Drew started talking, and I went in search of Devin. I found him in the backyard, pushing Ava and Levi on the swings. Anne was standing next to him, her arm wrapped around his waist. I hadn’t seen them like that in a long time.

Devin glanced back just as I was about to retreat instead of interrupt.

“Can I talk to you real fast?” I asked. He gave Levi a big push, then crossed the yard to me.

I kicked at the dandelion sticking up in the grass, sending the yellow flower bobbing. “About what I said earlier, I was out of line.” I lifted my eyes to Devin’s. “I’m sorry.”

Devin shrugged. “No big deal. Guess I was a little harsh, too.”

“You know I love you and Anne. And the kids.”

Devin glanced at his wife, who was now a dark outline against the setting sun. “I know you’ve seen us at our worst, but it’s not always like that. Anne has a hard time with the baby stage. We fight more. Then we work it out because that’s what you do. Every day I wake up and see my beautiful family, I think I’m one of the luckiest people in the world.”

Devin didn’t do the big talks or show his emotions often. Not with me, anyway. I could tell he meant what he’d said. My heart dropped when I thought about all the times I’d made derogatory comments about his marriage.

“Daddy, I need another push,” Levi said.

“I’m sure you’ll figure out what’ll make you happy,” Devin said. “Just don’t be scared to go for it when you do.” He mussed my hair like he used to when we were growing up, then strode over to Levi and got him swinging high through the air again.

Sometimes, you just need a little push.

The new layout of the extended-stay suites lit up my computer screen. My eyes were trained on it, but my mind was elsewhere. On the drive home from Longmont, Jake had finally convinced me to let him run the numbers on branching off on my own. I’d sent him all the information I had first thing this morning like I promised I would. But it wasn’t just the future of my career crowding my thoughts. It was Jake. Taking him home had been a chance. One I thought he’d fail. Instead, he’d gone above and beyond my expectations, winning my whole family over. Including me.

He gave me hope when I thought there was none. He’d stuck with me regardless of all the times I’d tried to push him away. I wanted to call him, even if I didn’t have anything in particular to talk about. I wanted to take him to Stephanie’s wedding. To tell people he was my boyfriend.

I wanted him to be mine.

Of course, there was only one way to make that happen… Time to take a chance.

I knew he’d worked the early shift today, which meant he’d probably be home. The thought of having a serious talk of any kind made me nauseous, but I was going to do it anyway.

The entire drive home, my stomach churned. Knowing I’d chicken out if I didn’t go straight to his place, I rode the elevator to the top floor. My rapid pulse hammered in my ears as I raised my fist to knock.

When Jake opened the door, his hair was disheveled, the top few buttons of his shirt undone. A volatile mix of desire and anxiety shot through me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to jump him or throw up on him. Hopefully not both, because this conversation was going to be hard enough as it was.

“Um, am I interrupting something?” I asked.

“I’m just going through some reports for Blue, trying to figure out a few things. Would you like to come in?”

I stood there for a few seconds, trying to kick my pink, glittery pumps into motion—they seemed to be glued to the floor. “Sure,” I said, wishing this wasn’t so damn hard. I’d never been one to wish I was normal, but in this moment, I wanted to be at least functional. Not shaking like a leaf because I wanted to ask a guy to be my boyfriend.

Jake seemed slightly distracted and also looked like he’d had a long day—still hot, of course, but in a crumpled, tired way. “I was about to grab a drink. You want one?”

“I’ll just take water.” What am I saying? I need something to calm my nerves. “Or whatever you’re having. Anything’s fine.”

I sat down on the couch while he went to the kitchen, and I took a deep breath. Even when I was in relationships, I rarely did the big-talk thing. I usually waited until things were out of control before saying anything, and by then, it was too late anyway.

I can do this, I can do this.

“I’ll warn you that I might not be the best company tonight,” Jake said as he walked toward the couch, two glasses in his hands. “Rough day at work, and now I’m trying to figure out this new business deal. I’ve got a guy who’s supposed to call. You’ll probably be bored.”

“If I get too bored, I’ll just find a baseball game on TV and take a nap,” I teased.

At least that got a smile out of him. He handed me a glass—I took a large sip, disappointed when it was only water. Another sign that I was going crazy. I basically asked for water, he gave it to me, and here I was disappointed. When I went to set the glass on the coffee table, I noticed the papers spread across it. “What’s all this?”

“I’m trying to figure out if we should open a restaurant in Salt Lake. Vegas has been doing really well, and there’s this great space in downtown Salt Lake that has good potential.”

My heart dropped as I realized another deal meant he’d be gone again. “How long did the Vegas location take?”

“It was built from the ground up, so longer than normal. Supposed to take six months, but ended up taking eight to get it running well enough I could trust it to the management there.”

I did my best to sound calm and collected about this new information. “How long would the one in Salt Lake take?”

“The renovation wouldn’t be much. After that, there’s hiring the staff and all that. Hopefully four months. Maybe five.”

Five months? A tight band formed around my chest, and each breath I took strained against it. Now what was I supposed to do? There was no point in pouring my heart out if he was going to be leaving.

Jake stacked the papers. “Brent and I just have to decide if it’s worth it. With me gone, he has to do more management and less cooking, which he doesn’t really like. I also need to keep tabs on Vegas. But will another opportunity like this come up? I don’t know.” He tucked the papers into a file. “Sorry, I’m sure this is all really boring to you.”

All I could concentrate on was how he was going to leave. Just like the last guy. Throbbing pain radiated out from my heart, old and new. “It’s kind of eye-opening, actually.”

“What do you mean?” His phone rang and he glanced at the display. “That’s my call.” He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and then answered.

Just when I’d accepted the fact I was in a relationship that might actually be going somewhere, he decided to go somewhere. By himself.

…

Having a breakdown in front of Jake wasn’t an option. That was why last night, while he was still on the phone, I’d gone back to my place and had a pity party involving brownies, Mountain Dew, and an overly violent action flick.

Jake had called me on his way into work this morning and insisted I let him make last night up to me. I told him there was no need—that I’d been the one who showed up unannounced. Not to mention I wasn’t sure how to deal with him anymore, knowing he was probably leaving for several months.

“Just let me take you out already,” he’d said. So I’d agreed—I did want to see him, even though things were turning out differently than I’d wanted them to. In theory, I could still keep things light, and that was the smartest move right now, with his plans up in the air.

Since he had to run documents to FedEx and I was going to be up north with Barbara, we’d decided to meet at Sparrow, this trendy, upscale restaurant Anthony and Stephanie had recommended.

I’d been sitting in the restaurant for thirty minutes by myself, getting more annoyed by the minute. The battery in my cell had died, so I couldn’t even call Jake and ask where he was. Or if he was still coming.

“It’s about time,” I said when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw not Jake, but my ex-boyfriend, Porter.

Not just my ex. But THE ex.

Also known as my relapse. All I could do for a moment was blink, blink, blink, sure he was a mirage.

“I thought that was you.” Porter grabbed my hand and glided me into a hug.

His signature Acqua Di Gio cologne surrounded me, his hand pressed into the small of my back, and I knew it wasn’t a mirage. I took a shaky breath, trying to recover from the shock of seeing him. “In town for a visit?”

“Actually, I just moved back. New York wasn’t for me.” He looked me up and down and then his pale green eyes lit up as he flashed me a smile. “You look amazing.”

It was impossible not to relive a dozen memories of back when we were together and he’d give me that exact same look, completely undoing me with such little effort. I swiped a piece of hair behind my ear. “Thanks. You look good, too.” As usual, his clothing was impeccable. Tonight he wore a fitted, striped button-down that probably cost more than I spent on groceries in a month.

“There you are,” Jake said, coming around the table. “Did you get my message?”