Maya Banks - Colters’ Gift

It was so obvious how adored Lily Colter was. By all three of the men she called husband. Seth’s entire face lit up when he realized it was her on the phone, and his eyes had grown so soft with love that Lauren found it hard to watch.

They’d spoken about the baby and how Lily was feeling. Evidently Dillon was home with Lily and it was also obvious that Seth would rather be there instead of stuck in his office. Babysitting Lauren.

It had made Lauren uncomfortable because she felt as though she was intruding on something private and deeply emotional.

She turned away to stare out the window, wondering when Noah and Liam would return and what was so important that they’d had to dump her so they could speak privately. Noah had acted strangely ever since the two had arrived while Liam had acted . . . like he cared about her. Or maybe it was wishful thinking on her part.

She’d never wished for anything as much as she wished she could go back and redo the past year. So much of her time had been spent lamenting the choices she’d made, but she’d compounded bad decision making with yet more bad decisions. Would it ever end for her?

There was more she hadn’t told Noah and Liam. Or Max. Or anyone else. But she knew the moment she gave up her secret that she’d be forced to act on it, and she wasn’t ready to face her past. Maybe she’d never be ready.

She was a coward. She readily admitted that. But in no way did she ever want to see Joel again, and were she to confess to anyone what she’d taken away when she ran from Joel and begged her brother for help, there would be no way around having to face him.

Just the thought was enough to strike fear in her heart and send a chill down her spine. She shivered and rubbed her arms.

“Are you cold?”

Seth’s question jerked her from her thoughts. She yanked her head up to see that he’d returned to his office again and was staring at her.

She stilled her hands so they rested on her arms, and shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”

He took a seat behind his desk and riffled through a stack of papers, evidently finding what he was looking for. He sat back, studying it for a long moment, and then he glanced her way again.

Then he put the paper down and leaned forward so his forearms rested on his desk.

“You know if you ever need help, with anything, that you only have to ask.”

She nodded.

Seth hesitated a moment, fiddled with a pen on his desk and then looked back at her again, as if he was trying to figure out the best way to broach the subject he wanted to discuss.

“Noah and Liam . . . are these guys you’re comfortable with? I can talk to Max. We can work out something else if you’d rather they go back to New York.”

She surged forward. “No! I mean no, it’s okay, they’re fine, I mean. It’s just that I was caught off guard. But really, they’ve been great. They were so sweet to me right after . . . you know, when what happened happened. Thank you, though. I appreciate what you and all your family have done for me.”

“You’re family, Lauren. And the Colters always look after family.”

She smiled. “I know. It’s one of the things I love the most about all of you. Max and I didn’t have that. I mean, we did, but it was just us and Mom for so long, and then we lost her. I was in awe of all of you when I first came here. To have such a large, close-knit family is pretty special.”

“You’re a part of that now,” Seth said. “Don’t forget that.”

Warmth filled her heart. It felt good to be a part of something as loving and wonderful as the Colter family.

Seth glanced toward the door and then turned back to her. “Looks like Noah and Liam are back for you. They’re out front. Come on, I’ll walk you up.”

She stood. “No need. Thanks for letting me stay and I’m sorry to be such a bother. Please give Lily my love and tell her I’ll see her when I can. I’m not sure how much freedom I’m going to have going forward,” she added ruefully.

“We’ll make it happen. She enjoys spending time with you and Callie. She won’t be able to go that long without getting together with you.”

“Thanks again. See you later,” she said as she exited his office.

Down the hall she saw Noah and Liam standing in the small reception area. They looked relieved when they saw her. Where did they think she’d go?

Noah reached for her hand as soon as she got close enough. To her surprise, he laced his fingers through hers, squeezed and then pulled her toward the door.

Liam followed them across the street, and Noah never let loose as they climbed the steps to her apartment. When he pushed inside, he kept ahold of her hand and led her to the love seat.

He seemed nervous. Ill at ease. Even Liam looked a little . . . unsure.

“Is something wrong?” she blurted. “You both look worried. Is it Joel?”

Liam got up, shoved her coffee table out of the way and dropped down onto one knee in front of her.

“No, baby. I don’t want you to worry about Joel, okay? We’re going to do everything in our power to make sure you never have to see him again.”

“We wanted to talk to you about something personal,” Noah said.

Her gaze swung to him and her heart began to race. She licked her lips nervously because she knew that whatever they wanted to discuss was going to be . . . huge. It was there to read in their expressions. They were focused intently. On her. Like she was the most important person in the world.

“O-okay,” she breathed out.

Liam slid his big hand over hers, warm and soothing. Noah took her other hand and turned it palm up, his finger tracing the lines to her fingers.

“The thing is . . .” He trailed off then ran his free hand over his head. “Hell, I’m making a total mess of this.”

“What is it, Noah?” she asked softly.

“Do you have feelings for us?” Liam asked bluntly. “Or are we way off base here.”

Heat seeped into her cheeks and she was mortified. Had she been so transparent? She’d tried her best to be indifferent toward them. She hadn’t even truly sorted out what she felt for them. They intrigued her. She’d allowed herself to fall into the fantasy that she wasn’t just a job to them, that their protection came not from their job description, but from a need that sprang from their attraction to her.

She’d gone back and forth with herself over whether she was genuinely attracted to two men or whether it was just a product of going from a man who abused her to men who treated her like she was . . . special. Like she meant something to them, and that they genuinely cared about her. Wouldn’t any woman fall for a man in the same situation? But did it make her feelings real?

Noah reached up to softly caress her cheek. “Please don’t be embarrassed by the question. We wanted—needed—to know because we have feelings for you, Lauren. And before we can proceed, we need to know if those feelings are returned.”

She swallowed hard, her pulse thundering in her temples. “You both have feelings for me?”

“Yes, we do,” Liam said in that same matter-of-fact tone.

She licked her lips, and suddenly Liam was there, his mouth covering hers in a heated rush. For a moment she had no idea what to do, but then she found herself responding, returning his kiss, opening her mouth to the thrust of his tongue.

There was nothing perfunctory about the kiss. She loved the roughness, how unsteady and eager he seemed. Almost like he was doing everything he could to hold himself in check. Joel had rarely kissed her, and when he had, it felt more like a punishment than a gesture of affection.

When he pulled away, his breath hiccupped over his lips and his eyes glowed warm and dark. He smoothed a thumb over the fullness of her bottom lip, now swollen from his kiss.

“I could so easily fall in love with you,” he said in a near whisper.

Her heart clenched and she soaked in the words like a parched desert soaking up rain.

Noah made a sound and she jerked toward him, suddenly numb with guilt. He immediately shook his head.

“Don’t look at me like that, sweetheart. You have nothing to feel guilty over. This is what we want to talk to you about. The thing is, we both care about you. We both want to see where our relationship will take us. But we have to make sure you’re on board for something like that. Plus, this isn’t the most ideal time to embark on any relationship, much less one with our particular elements. Our first priority has to be keeping you safe.”

“You want to have the sort of relationship that the Colters have,” she said, her mind whirling with the implications.

She’d known of the “different” marriage that Holly and Lily Colter had with each of their three husbands even before she’d ever met them. She’d learned of it from Max. She’d known what to expect, so when she’d witnessed firsthand the bond between the women and their husbands, she hadn’t been taken aback.

No, she wasn’t shocked. She’d been curious and more than a little envious because it was so obvious that the Colter men adored their wives. She’d often wondered what it would be like to be the center of such a relationship, the very heart and the core in which the arrangement was centered on.

Never in a million years would she have dreamed that such a relationship would find her.

Noah nodded. Liam squeezed her hand.

“Would you even consider such an arrangement?” Liam asked. “I know we’re asking for a lot. We’re nowhere near the permanent commitment stage. We haven’t even had what qualifies as a date. All we want is a chance. We want to open your mind to the possibility and see where it takes us.”

“This is a lot to take in,” she murmured. “I had no idea. I mean that you returned my interest.”

Noah’s eyes gleamed in sudden triumph. “So you are attracted to us.”

Her cheeks flamed, but she nodded. They’d given her the truth, and while she’d certainly started their acquaintance with lies, she didn’t want to continue that path.

Liam leaned in and kissed her again. Long and sweet until she was breathless. This time she slid her hand around the back of his neck and buried her fingers in his long hair. He groaned against her mouth and then pulled back, his eyes blazing.

“If I had my way, we’d bypass the dating stage altogether and I’d have you in my bed every damn night.”

She gaped at his bluntness and nearly glanced in Noah’s direction, but remembering his admonishment the last time she’d looked his way to gauge his reaction, she forced herself not to peek at him.

“We’ll take things slow,” Noah said. “We’ll go whatever pace you need, Lauren. You’ll take the lead and we’ll do whatever we need to for you to be comfortable. We want this to work.”

“Okay,” she said in a shaky voice.

Noah touched his finger to her cheekbone and ran it down to her jaw and then over to trace a line around her mouth.

“I want very much to kiss you,” he said huskily.

“Then kiss me,” she whispered.

He leaned in, slowly, angling his head so their mouths aligned. And then he pressed his lips to hers. Lightly at first. Then he deepened the kiss, tentatively seeking entrance with his tongue.

It was sweet and slow, like the first kiss between lovers. A kiss to be remembered for the way it made her feel when things were all shiny and new and emotions were still running high.

His hand fell to the side of her neck and then, as she’d done to Liam, his hand crept upward, into her hair.

He broke away but rested his forehead against hers, his chest heaving as he rested there a moment, their mouths so very close.

“I want this,” he whispered. “I didn’t think I did, but God, I want this, Lauren. I want you, and I’ll make any sacrifice for this to work.”

His words opened a part of her soul that hadn’t been previously opened. He and Liam had reached a part of her she’d closed off, a protective measure so that Joel couldn’t reach the very core of her and damage it.

It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time to open up and allow herself to trust again. But mostly it terrified her because she knew she hadn’t made good decisions in the past. How was she supposed to know if she was making the right ones now?

LAUREN sat between Noah and Liam at her small dinette set that accommodated four people. Four normal-sized people. Noah and Liam weren’t exactly normal sized. They made her apartment seem overstuffed and crowded, where before she’d relished the warm, cozy feel of it.