Maya Banks - Colters’ Lady

“I’ll be fine. I tend to lose all sense of time when I’m messing with my art stuff. I’ll probably still be here when you get back.”

Dillon gave her a quick kiss, patted her on the ass and then walked out of the office.

With a satisfied smile, she turned in a circle. She really didn’t know where to start, but she was ready to dive in and immerse herself in the joy of putting to canvas the images that had sustained her during the long weeks and months on the streets.

“Dad, you got a minute?” Dillon asked Adam.

Adam put down his measuring tape and glanced at the doorway. “I assume since you waited until your brothers left the room to talk, this is a private matter?”

“Got it in one.”

“Take a walk with me,” Adam said.

The two went to the other side of the house and out the side door and into the yard that overlooked a small valley to the left.

“Everything going okay with Lily and your brothers?” Adam asked.

Dillon sighed. “Yeah. Really better than I’d imagined. To be honest, I gave this a snowball’s chance in hell of working, and if I’m being even more honest, there was a small part of me that didn’t want it to work out because I wanted her to myself. But it’s good. Bizarre good, but I can honestly say that I’m happy with the arrangement.”

“As long as you and your brothers…and Lily…are happy, son.” Dillon fidgeted uncomfortably. “It’s not that. God, I sound like a first class wuss. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my dad, for God’s sake.” Adam chuckled. “I can’t wait to hear this.”

“Back when you and the other dads met Mom. I know you’ve all said she was it. You knew she was the one. You never looked back, blah blah.”

“Well I wouldn’t call it blah blah,” Adam said dryly.

“But when did you know you loved her? Was it instantaneous? When did you tell her?” Pain creased his dad’s face, and Dillon regretted bringing it up.

“No, I didn’t tell her right away,” Adam said quietly. “I waited until it was almost too late. I loved her. I knew I loved her but a part of me thought if I said it too soon that it somehow devalued it. Like it needed time to mean more.”

“Yeah, that’s the way I feel,” Dillon said. “I feel a little stupid thinking it, much less saying it. I’ve never believed it, falling in love so fast and hard. I know you and the other dads have talked about it, but to be honest, I always thought it was a bunch of mushy horseshit.” Adam shook his head. “I swear son, I don’t know whose kid you are, but I’d lay odds you must be mine. Well, except for the tattoos and that goddamn earring. Still baffles me where the hell you came from.

I used to swear your mother found you somewhere. But you think like me and you’re as thick headed and as stubborn as me.

“Let me give you a little piece of advice, and you can do with it what you will. Don’t wait until you feel like the time is more legitimate. I held back because I worried it would cheapen the moment if I said it too soon. And maybe I had convinced myself that it wasn’t really love yet. All I know is that I almost lost your mother without ever telling her how much I loved her. I still regret to this day that I was too damn stubborn to give her the words until it was almost too late.”

“I feel a little ridiculous. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. Not so hard and fast and deep. I feel like I’m in way over my head.”

Adam smiled. “Yeah, I know that feeling. But Dillon, what are you waiting for, anyway? Approval?

From whom? You’ve never given a rat’s ass what anyone thinks in your life, including me and your mother and your other dads. You’ve always gone your own way, marched to the beat of your own drum and fuck anyone who tries to tell you different. I can’t imagine you holding back because you’re worried about timing or something equally absurd.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Dillon grumbled. “And yeah. I’ve never cared what anyone else thinks.

Until now. I care what Lily thinks. I don’t want to fuck this up, Dad.” Adam put his hand on Dillon’s shoulder. “You won’t, son. Lily seems like such a sweet girl. It’s obvious she cares a lot about you and Seth and Michael. She has a heart of gold, but she’s been beaten down by life. It’s up to you to bring her back up and get her back on her feet. How better to do that than to offer her something she needs more than anything else in the world? Your love.” Dillon blew out his breath. “I really hate it when you’re right. It’s even worse when you make so goddamn much sense.”

Adam chuckled. “It infuriates your mother too. Not that I get to be right too often around her, mind you.”

“You and the dads taught me a lot growing up,” Dillon said quietly. “If I can be half the man you and the dads are, I know we can make this work. I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. I don’t know if I’ve told you lately, but I love you, Dad. I wouldn’t change a thing about our family.” Adam swallowed, and his eyes glittered suspiciously as he hauled Dillon into a huge bear hug. He slapped Dillon on the back.

“We better stop this mushy shit before the others find us. You know they’d never let us live it down.” Dillon cracked a grin. “Thanks, Dad. For giving me perspective, I guess. And you’re right. There’s not a damn good reason in the world to wait when I know what’s in my heart.” He started to turn to head back to find the others when his dad reached out to grab his arm.

“Dillon, I know me and Ryan and Ethan give you a hard time about what a little shit you were when you were young, but I want you to know something. I knew you were special from the day you were born.

You scared the ever-loving crap out of us and gave your mother all kinds of trouble during the delivery.

And from that day forward, you were never easy.

“But I could never be prouder of you. You grew up strong and independent with a firm set of values, and you are fiercely loyal. You have an unwavering sense of justice, and I’ve always known that when you love, you’d love with all your heart and give unreservedly of yourself. Of all my children, I’ve always known that you were the steadiest. I love you, son.”

“Well goddamn, Dad. If you make me cry, I’m going to kick your ass.”

Adam laughed and then shoved Dillon toward the door. “Let’s go find your brothers and see when we can wrap this up for the day. I have a sudden urge to go find your mother and tell her how much I love her.”

“Knock, knock!”

Lily turned from the pile of art supplies she was organizing to see Holly standing in the doorway of Dillon’s office. Even the cat picked her head up in greeting but then quickly curled into a tighter ball on the floor beside Lily before closing her eyes again.

“Hey!” Lily said with a broad smile.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Holly said.

“No, of course not. Come on in. If you can find your way around the mess.” Holly picked her way around a few boxes and came to stand beside Lily. “With the guys all over at Michael’s sorting out construction details, I thought you could use some help and some company.” It was all Lily could do not to squeeze the other woman to death. “Thank you. Just the company is nice.”

“I see Dillon went a little overboard,” Holly said with a laugh.

Lily gave a rueful nod. “Yeah, it’s all great stuff, though. I’ve just been going through and drooling over it all. I didn’t expect him to do this. He’s crazy!” Holly laughed. “You’ll find that Dillon does nothing in half measures. Have you eaten? If you want to take a break, I noticed that Dillon left lunch in the fridge. Even I can handle warming something up in the oven.”

Lily checked the clock on Dillon’s desk, and her eyes widened. It was already past two. “Yeah, I could eat. I’ve been lost in my own little world here.”

“Come on then. We’ll tackle the oven together, and I promise not to burn Dillon’s kitchen down.” Lily laughed and followed Holly out of the office and into the kitchen.

“Sit, sit,” Holly urged. “I want to be able to say I was able to prepare my daughter-in-law at least one meal. It’ll give me bragging rights the next time my husbands make a smartass crack about my cooking.” The casual way she said daughter-in-law jolted Lily. She froze in the process of getting onto the barstool and stared at the other woman, but Holly continued on as if what she’d said was the most natural thing in the world.

Holly turned at that moment and a frown creased her brow. “What’s wrong?” Lily eased onto the barstool and looked down at her hands for a moment.

Holly turned the oven on and stuck the casserole dish inside and then walked over to stand across the bar from Lily.

“Lily, what is it?”

“You said daughter-in-law,” she croaked.

Holly’s face softened and then she smiled gently as she leaned on the countertop.

“I know I’m getting way ahead of myself, but I know my boys. I know their fathers. When they love, they love passionately. With their whole heart. Up to now, no one has captured that heart. Until you.” Lily swallowed as her chest tightened and emotion crowded in so full and heavy. She didn’t even know what to say.

Holly reached across the bar and laid her hands over Lily’s. “I’m going to ask you something that’s none of my business, and feel free to say so. I know how my boys feel about you. But how do you feel about them?”

Lily glanced up to see worry and concern in Holly’s eyes. But also understanding. It was that understanding that prompted Lily to be completely honest even as the idea of saying aloud all that was in her heart terrified her.

“I love them,” she whispered. “Is that stupid? I mean, three men?”

“No, honey,” Holly said gently. “It’s not stupid, but then look who you’re talking to.” Lily laughed as she realized just how dumb of a question it truly had been.

“Oh God, Holly. I’m so terrified. I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff with one foot in the air about to tip right over the edge.”

Holly walked around the bar and slid onto the barstool next to Lily. She wrapped her arm around Lily’s shoulders and squeezed.

“I might be the only woman in the world who knows exactly how you’re feeling.”

“My heart tells me I love them, but my mind asks how it’s possible to love three very different people at the same time.”

“The heart has an endless capacity for love,” Holly said. “As a woman you love your family, your children—especially your children—your friends, and you love your husband or lover. Who’s to say you can’t love three men with all your heart and soul? I mean, really, who makes the rules?”

“Seth told me he loved me,” Lily blurted.

Holly smiled. “I’m not surprised that he’d be the first. He might be the oldest, but he’s so unlike my Adam in that regard. Adam…he’s hard sometimes, and he doesn’t easily share what’s in his heart. Seth is more open and honest. Dillon?” She sighed as she mentioned her youngest. “That boy is completely unpredictable. And Michael is so intense and focused. He tends to be more analytical.” Lily nodded. “I still feel like I’m getting to know all of them and their personalities. That’s why I ask myself how I can know I love them.”

“I’m going to tell you something right now. If you wait to completely know someone, you’ll wait forever. Sometimes you have to lead with your heart. Even after so many years, my husbands still do things that surprise me. I didn’t know them any longer than you’ve known my boys, but I took a chance. I took the leap and I’ve never regretted it. Not once. Life is about taking chances. Sometimes they bite you on the ass, but sometimes you find pure perfection.”

“This is going to sound stupid,” Lily said in a low voice.

Holly chuckled. “I think we’ve already established that nothing about how you feel or react to this situation is stupid. Normal, yes. Stupid, no.”

“I didn’t tell him I loved him.”

Holly paused, waiting for Lily to continue. When Lily remained silent, Holly rubbed her hand up and down Lily’s arm.

“Did you not say it back because you were unsure?”

“This is where the stupid part comes in,” Lily muttered. “I didn’t tell him for two reasons. Well, maybe three. One, I didn’t want him to think I was just saying it because he said it. Two, I was so surprised.

I wasn’t expecting the words and I was overwhelmed. And three…I felt guilty.”

“Guilty?”

“I didn’t want to tell him first. I mean before telling Dillon and Michael. I didn’t want them to feel like my feelings were stronger for Seth. It all sounds so ridiculous but I love them all or at least I feel about them in a way I’ve never felt about anyone else. And it’s different but the same. I don’t have a favorite.