"You don't need to get mad. I wasn't insulting you or challenging


you.




I was simply curious."




"Grace should know what's going on. I would have told her to go ahead


and leave without Caleb and me and that we'd catch up with her in


Denver. She's under tremendous pressure, and time's running out for


her." Cole didn't understand, but Jessica refused to explain. "If


Grace wants you to know her personal business, she'll tell you.




I should have taken my belongings out of the wagon. I hope Grace


doesn't feel she has to look after them."




"Quit worrying, " he ordered. "She'll be fine, and you'll be seeing


her real soon." Her attention was turned when Caleb threw himself into


her arms. He wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, and he was rank.




"I'll get the soap, " she said.




"Jessie? " "Yes? " she answered as she eased the baby off her lap.




"You might want to close your eyes for a minute." She didn't ask


why.




She simply squeezed her eyes shut. Curiosity got the better of her,


though, and she finally had to know. "You didn't take all of your


clothes off, did you? " "Sure did, " he answered cheerfully. "Caleb


and I are buck naked." She wanted to look. She convinced herself that


she was merely curious because she'd never seen a naked man before.




She really ought to, shouldn't she, since she was a mother?




She peeked, but with only one eye. She was disappointed because she'd


waited too long. All she saw was Cole's backside and thighs as he


moved into the water. She found it quite odd that every inch of his


back was also tanned. What did the man do? Work outside naked? The


possibility was so ludicrous, she smiled.




Caleb had his arms wrapped around Cole's neck and was happily


chattering into his ear. He didn't look at all scared, and Jessica


suddenly yearned to be in the water with both of them.




She went to fetch the soap instead. As she was searching through the


valise, she heard a loud splash, promptly followed by the baby's squeal


of delight. Nothing seemed to frighten Caleb, which meant that he was


feeling secure, she hoped.




"So far so good, " she whispered. Caleb hadn't been harmed by her lack


of skills as a mother. Each day she learned a little bit more, and


hopefully, by the time he was five or six, she'd be comfortable in the


role she'd taken on. She would always worry, she supposed, but then


didn't all mothers? She wanted to do the right thing for her son so


that he would grow up with fond memories and a strong sense of


self-worth. Unlike the other men in her life, Caleb would have


values.




"Jessie, bring the soap." She jumped at the sound of Cole's voice.




Grabbing the misshapen clump of rose-scented soap she'd made, she


hurried to the edge of the bank.




"Should I throw it? " {Sure, " he called back.




She aimed but missed by a good ten feet. Cole was able to retrieve the


soap before it sank to the bottom. "You throw like a girl, " he


shouted.




"I am a girl, " she called back as she kicked off her shoes and sat


down on the grassy slope.




She also took her stockings off, but that was as far as she would go


while Cole was in the lake. It wouldn't have been proper for her to do


what she wanted to do. Mothers couldn't be wanton. And so she watched


him scrub her son from top to bottom and then play with him, wishing


all the while she were part of the antics.




Her heart fell to the bottom of her stomach when Cole casually tossed


Caleb into the air and let him go under the water. Before she could


shout a warning, Cole had scooped him up, waited until he'd stopped


sputtering, and then tossed him in the air again.




Caleb was having the time of his life and hopefully getting all worn


out. Jessica sat on the bank with her toes in the cool water until it


was almost completely dark. The temperature was rapidly dropping. She


fetched a towel for Caleb and waited until Cole swam over to give her


son to her.




The baby's lower lip was trembling from the cold, but he still put up a


fight when she lifted him out of the water. He wanted to go back in.




Jessica carried him back to the fire and quickly got him ready for


bed.




She'd already spread a blanket out and placed his baby doll in the


center, and as soon as she put him down, he grabbed the toy, put his


thumb in his mouth, and closed his eyes.




"I'll watch him if you want to get in the water, Jessie, " Cole said


from behind.




"Thank you, " she whispered.




There was laughter in his voice when he told her she could look at


him.




"I'm dressed." Barely, she thought to herself. He was wearing only a


pair of snug-fitting buckskin pants. His hair was slicked back from


his brow, and droplets of water glistened on his arms and chest.




A bath did sound wonderful. She waited until Caleb had drifted off to


sleep, then gathered clean clothes, soap, and a towel. She walked a


good distance away from the campsite so that Cole wouldn't see her,


draped her garments on a fat, leafy bush, and slowly removed her


clothes. Every muscle in her neck and shoulders ached, and she was


suddenly so tired, she could barely concentrate on what she was


doing.




The water felt luxurious against her bare skin. She sighed deeply as


she cautiously moved further into the lake, feeling her way with her


toes to make certain the rocky bottom wasn't going to disappear.




It was sheer heaven. She didn't even mind the cold, but by the time


she had scrubbed herself and washed her hair, her fingertips were as


wrinkled as prunes.




It would have been nice to slip into her nightgown, but that would have


been inappropriate with Cole there, of course, and so she put on a


clean chemise and a dark gray dress that was at least two sizes too big


for her. Like most of her other clothes, the gown was a


hand-me-down.




Jessica hadn't had time to take it in because she was always too tired


in the evening after spending her days chasing after Caleb. As she


slipped the dress over her head, she vowed once again to become more


organized and headed back to camp.




Caleb was sound asleep with his back squeezed up against Cole's side.




She thought Cole was also asleep. He was resting on his back and using


one of the saddles for his pillow.




She sat across the campfire from him. Kicking her shoes off and


tucking her feet under her, she proceeded to brush the tangles out of


her hair.




She loved this time of night, wheneverything was so peaceful and she


had a few minutes to herself. She knew she should go to sleep, for


tomorrow promised to be as exhausting as today, but she was enjoying


the solitude too much to do the practical thing. The heat from the


fire warmed her face. She tilted her head to the side so that her hair


was draped down past her shoulder and leaned close to the flames.




"You're going to catch on fire, " Cole said.




She jerked back. "I thought you were asleep, " she whispered so that


Caleb wouldn't be disturbed.




"You don't have to whisper. Your son's out cold. Nothing's going to


disturb him."




"He's put in a long day, " she said, a smile in her voice.




A few minutes passed in silence, and then he spoke again. "You're a


good mother, Jessica." She put her brush down. "No, I'm not, but I'm


trying, " she said. "I had never been around babies when I was growing


up, and I know I've made mistakes with Caleb. I'm more relaxed with


him now, and hopefully I haven't done anything that's going to


permanently damage him. I've spoiled him, though, but I don't care.




Babies should be spoiled."




"The boy needs a father, " he said. "Are you going to find him one? "


Her answer was quick and forceful. "No, I'm not. Caleb had a


father.




He deserted him, remember? " "Like your father deserted you? " She


didn't answer the question. "I'm never going to get married. It would


be too much of a complication."




"Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be raising Caleib on


your own? " "We'll get along." Cole stared into the fire for a long


while, thinking about Jessica's circumstances. She was too young to


hold such opinions about men and marriage. "Not all men leave. "


"Most do."




"No, most do not, " he argued. "You've got guts, I'll give you that,


but you have to be practical. You're a fine-looking woman, and men are


going to want you." You were made for loving, he thought, but didn't


add. He didn't want to give her the false impression that he was


interested. Granted, he was interested in making love to her and knew


it would be a night he would never forget, but he wasn't interested in


marriage.




"What makes you think I need help raising Caleb? " she asked.




He ignored her question. "I like the color of your hair." The


compliment startled her. "You do? Most men don't like brown hair. "


"Where did you get that crazy notion? When a man first notices a


woman, he isn't looking at her hair anyway."




"Then what's he looking at? " Cole smiled. "The whole package. We


take in every curve from the neck down." She blushed and had to keep