Julie Garwood - Come the Spring

eyes and in his stance. She took a step toward him, then stopped.

"No, you're not. It's just that I've wanted to kiss you for a long

time."

"Yeah, well, it isn't going to happen again."

"Why not? " He couldn't believe she had to ask. "You do know what

kissing leads to, don't you? " She slowly nodded. "I'm pretty sure I

do, but since I've never . . . " He cut her off, for the topic was

making him ache with his need to touch her again, and if he did that,

he knew he wouldn't stop.

"We're just going to have to stay away from each other. You got

that?

" She nodded, then shook her head. "How in heaven's name are we going

to be able to do that? We're traveling together."

"Just keep your hands to yourself." After giving her the command, he

laughed harshly.

Never before had he said those words to a woman, and he couldn't

believe he'd said them to Jessica.

It's the damned badge, he thought to himself. It had made him noble.

She folded her hands. "If that's what you want, I shall of course be

happy to accommodate you." He was suddenly furious with her. "No,

that's not what I want. I want to take your clothes off, toss you down

on the ground, and do all the things I've been dreaming about." Her

eyes widened. "You dreamed about me? " "Let it go, Jessie."

"I dreamed about you too. Cole do you want to make love to me? " "No,

not make love, " he corrected. "Have sex. Do you understand the

difference? If we had sex, tomorrow morning you would realize the

mistake you'd made and you'd live with that regret for the rest of your

life." She could feel the anger building inside her. "And you?

Would you realize it was a mistake? " "Yeah, I would."

"Would you also live with regret the rest of your life? " "I'd regret

all right, but not for long. Now do you get it? It wouldn't mean all

that much to me." She spotted the empty gun on the ground, picked it

up, and marched past Cole.

"Of all the arrogant . . . " "I'm being honest, Jessie. Most men

would lie to get a woman like you in bed."

"A woman like me? " He followed her to the campfire. "Yeah, " he

said. "Like you . . .

innocent and pure and sexy as hell. With your fine body, you can't

afford to be naive. It's dangerous and stupid."

"So now I'm stupid?

Being inexperienced doesn't mean I'm stupid." She dropped the gun in

the bedroll and stood there glaring at him.

"Answer one question for me, and then we'll never discuss this topic

again."

"What? " "What makes you so certain that I would live with the regret

the rest of my life? Is it because I'm a woman, or is it because I'm

stupid? " "Are you telling me you wouldn't regret it? " She didn't

answer him. "Sure you would, " he decided. "Women want strings."

"Strings? " "Commitment, " he explained. "Men don't."

"Then all those married men were hog-tied and dragged to the altar? "

He thought the image fit perfectly. "Yeah, they probably were."

"Was your brother-in-law forced into marrying your sister? " He'd

forgotten he'd told her about his family. "Mary Rose and Harrison? "

Before she could say another word, he shook his head. "Harrison wanted

to marry her." She sat down and began to untie her shoelaces. He

stood there watching her while he tried to figure out how they had

gotten into such an intense discussion.

"Look, Jessie, all I'm saying is that . . . " "You don't want

strings.

" "Exactly." He almost shouted the word.

"Brace yourself, Cole. I don't want strings either, " she whispered.

"I don't want to get married, and I'm never going to, " she added with

a nod.

"You'll get married one of these days, " he predicted, and immediately

frowned over the possibility.

"Because life would be easier? " He stretched out on the bedroll and

stared at the stars while he considered his answer.

"Yeah, it would be easier, and it would also be good for Caleb to have

a father around."

"My son and I don't need a man to make our family complete. Oh, you

make me so angry, Cole. You're like the majority of people I've

encountered who want to push their expectations and beliefs on me."

"It's difficult to be a single mother."

"I know how difficult it is, but I'm happy . . . genuinely happy, and

if I married someone just to gain respectability, I'd be miserable and

would have no one to blame but myself."

"Respectability? What does that have to do with anything? " "Never

mind."

"You brought it up. Tell me what you meant."

"As soon as strangers find out I'm not married and never have been,

they assume I had Caleb out of wedlock, and then . . . " He prodded

her to continue. "Then what? " "They're compelled to make sure I know

exactly how they feel about it." He was watching her closely. "How do

they do that? Give me an example." She shrugged and tried to pretend

that all the hurt she'd suffered had barely mattered to her. "When

Grace and I went shopping for supplies, a woman slapped me across the

face when she found out I'd never been married.

I had Caleb with me, and when she asked who he belonged to, Grace told

her he was my son." Cole was outraged by the incident. "What did you

do? " "I took Caleb outside."

"I'm sorry you didn't punch her." She smiled. "I wanted to, but I

didn't give in to my urge because it wouldn't have been ladylike, and I

had Caleb with me. I didn't want him to see his mother behave in such

a manner. Grace took care of her, though, " she added. She put her

hand over her mouth and giggled. "It was a sight to see. I watched

her through the window." He smiled in anticipation of what she was

going to tell him. "What did she do? " "She snatched up a ruler from

the counter and backed the woman against the wall. She didn't hit her,

but she blistered her all the same with her lecture, and by the time

she was done, the woman was crying. It was ridiculous really. Grace

was half the other woman's size. Later, we laughed about it."

"But it still hurt, didn't it? " She didn't answer him. "Grace is the

first real friend I've ever had, " she whispered. "I would do anything

for her."

"And she would do anything for you, wouldn't she? " "Yes, she would, "

she agreed. "Do you have any close friends? " "My family, " he

answered. "I'm close to my brothers. They drive me crazy sometimes,

but I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt them." She couldn't imagine

having siblings and pleaded with him to tell her what his life had been

like growing up in such a large family. She was clearly astounded to

find out that his brothers and sister and mother weren't blood

relatives.

He spent over an hour talking about his growing up years, sharing both

humorous and poignant stories with her. The warmth in his eyes and his

voice indicated the love he felt for his family, and by the time he

finished, she ached with her own loneliness. She yearned to belong .

.

. and to be loved.

"We joined together to become a family, " Cole said. "And never once

did I think any of them would run out on me. That's what you think

always happens, though, don't you? " "Experience has taught me not to

trust anyone else."

"What about your friend Grace? " "Oh, I trust her implicitly."

"And Rebecca? " "I don't know her well, but I could probably trust

her, I suppose.

She's been very kind to Caleb and me."

"The three of you have been loyal to one another."

"Neither one of them jumped to the conclusion that Caleb was

illegitimate, " she pointed out. She sat up and stretched her arms

over her head to work out the tension.

"I've decided that when Grace and I get to Denver, if anyone asks, I'm

going to tell them I'm widowed."

"One lie will only lead to another and another, " he told her. "Look

at the mess the three of you have gotten into by lying about being a

witness. If all of you had simply stepped forward and told the truth

before the reporter made you front-page news, your life would have been

far less complicated. The judge wouldn't have insisted that Daniel and

I haul you and Grace and Rebecca to Blackwater. I imagine you and

Grace would already be in Denver."

"I told you I was the witness, " she reminded him. "Grace and Rebecca

are going to Blackwater? " "They're on their way now." She was

flabbergasted. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? " "You were about to

leave your son. You had enough to worry about, " he said.

"Why does this judge want all three of us? I told you I was the

witness."

"Yeah, well, so did Grace and Rebecca."

"But that can't be, " she nearly shouted.

"All three of you have come forward to tell us that you were there

hiding under the desk."

"No."

"Yes, " he countered.

"No wonder you didn't believe me. You wouldn't let me tell you what

happened. I did try."

"I didn't want to hear any more lies." She took a calming breath and