Julie Garwood - Come the Spring

think I would change my mind so swiftly? No, don't answer that, " he

cautioned, "'cause then I'll get mad. Yes, I do still love you. "

"Why? " She was genuinely perplexed. Cole was astonished and realized

then that she had absolutely no idea of her appeal. Hadn't anyone ever

told her how perfect she was?

"Jessie, when you were a little girl, didn't your mother or father ever

tell you that you were smart and clever and sweet and good-hearted

andţ" He would have gone on and on if she hadn't interrupted him. "My

father left when I was very young. I don't remember much about him

except that I had to stay away from him when he was drinking, and it

seemed he was always holding a glass in one hand and a bottle in the

other."

"What about your mother? " "I think his leaving changed her, but I

can't be certain. She dried up inside. She used to tell me she had to

be hard on me so I wouldn't make the same mistakes she made."

"Did she ever praise you? " "I don't remember, " she said. "I loved

my mother, but I don't want to be like her, and I'm afraid that maybe

it's too late for me to change."

"You aren't like her, " he said.

"You don't know how to be hard." When she tried to turn away, he

tilted her chin so she would look at him again.

"You praise Caleb all the time. I've heard you tell him how smart he

is and how sweet . . . " "Children need to know they're loved. They

must have constant reassurance."

"You need to be reassured too, don't you? " She didn't answer him.

"Do you know what attracted me to you? " She shook her head.

"When I first met you, you were standing behind a screen door at

Tilly's house. Remember? " "I was terrified."

"Yeah, I know you were. Well, I thought you were about the prettiest

woman in the territory."

"You did? " she whispered breathlessly. "I was wearing an old, faded

dress." He laughed. "I didn't pay much attention to what you had

on.

I was trying to picture what was underneath. You have a very shapely

body, Jessie, and I couldn't wait to get my hands on you." He couldn't

believe she was blushing, yet she was, and he thought that was one of

the hundred or so reasons why he loved her.

"I was already intrigued, because I had heard about this young lady who

went to visit her aunt and ended up taking on the responsibility of

becoming a mother to a newborn. Do you know how few women would have

done what you did? The responsibility of raising a child alone is

staggering, and a lot of women couldn't or wouldn't have done it. They

would have dropped him off at the nearest foundling home and gone on

their way."

"It isn't a hardship. Caleb's the joy of my life."

"Remember I told you how my brothers and I became a family? I was part

of a gang back then and awfully young when we found Mary Rose in the

alley we called home. I was headed for disaster, " he added. "Mary

Rose changed my life and so did my brothers. I didn't raise my sister

alone, though.

I had three brothers to help."

"But Iţ" Before she could continue, he interrupted. "I love your

strength and your courage, and I love the fact that you bring out the

best in me.

Those are just a couple of the reasons." He gently cupped the sides of

her face. "I didn't want to fall in love with you."

"Then why don't you stop? " she asked gently.

"Sweetheart, that's like asking me to stop breathing. Ah, Jessie, I

need you in my life." He bent down and proceeded to drive her crazy by

kissing every inch of her throat.

"How come you always smell like flowers? " The question was simply too

complicated to answer. She should stop him, she thought, even as she

tilted her head so he could kiss the spot directly under her earlobe

that was so sensitive to his touch.

"You're doing it on purpose . . . You know how much I like . . . but

we can't . . . " $'One kiss, Jessie. Just one kiss." Her hands were

gripping his shirt, and she didn't protest at all or turn away.

It felt so wonderful, so right, to be in his arms. The seduction of

his loving words was her undoing. She leaned up on tiptoe and

willingly let herself be swept away. His mouth moved over hers

greedily. Passion was instantaneous, explosive. One kiss wasn't

enough for either one of them, and as his mouth slanted over hers again

and again, she began to shiver with her need.

She didn't want him to stop. When he lifted his head, she leaned up

and kissed him again.

He stopped her from going any further. He pried her hands away from

his shirt, wrapped her in his arms, and tried to catch his breath.

"You don't know how to hold back, do you, sweetheart? " He sounded

happy about that fact, and so she didn't ask him to explain.

Draping his arm around her shoulder, he led her back to camp. "I'm

going to have to teach you all about pacing." He smiled just thinking

about it.

She tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but his kisses had

robbed her of the ability to think about anything at all but making

love to him. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to be a lady

until you came into my life."

"You still are a lady."

"I knew what I was doing the other night. I practically seduced you,

and I promised myself that we would have one night together, but just a

couple of minutes ago, I was thinking about having one more night." He

groaned.

"Jessie, we need to talk about something else."

"Why? " He decided to be blunt. "Because I'm already hot and

bothered, and if you keep talking about making love again, I wonXt be

able to hold out until after we're married." He squeezed her. "Don't

you dare ask me how long I'll stay with you."

"I wasn't going to ask you that."

"Yes, you were."

"What if I can't ever give you what you want, what you deserve? A wife

should be able to trust her husband, but I don't think I could ever .

.

. What if . . . " He didn't let her finish. "Then I guess you're

going to be real worried every time I leave the house. I'll always

come back to you and Caleb, though, and maybe in about twenty years or

so, you'll catch on. I'm in this for the long haul. I meant it when I

told you it was forever. And by the way, you will tell me you love me

before our wedding day. Now please change the subject."

"Do you think Caleb's all right? " "Yes, " he answered. "He's

probably going to have an aversion to fried foods for the rest of his

life, but he's being loved and spoiled."

"I had a nice long talk with Tom, " she remarked.

"What'd you talk about? " "You." He shot her a glance. "What'd he

tell you? " "He was full of stories about you."

"Like what? " "Abilene." His shoulders sagged. "I had hoped to get

married before you found out about that."

"You act like you did something wrong."

"I shot a woman, Jessie." He waited for her to grill him with

questions or tell him he'd been wrong to take that chance with a

woman's life hanging in the balance.

"It was very clever of you." He stopped dead in his tracks. "What?

" "I said it was very clever of you."

"I shot the woman, " he reminded her.

"Oh, it was a flesh wound. You're very good with a gun, aren't you? "

"Jessie, you act like we're talking about the weather. You aren't at

all shocked, are you? " "Of course not."

"The end doesn't justify the means."

"You feel guilty."

"Yes."

"It was a practical solution."

"Yes, but . . . " "You saved her life."

"Then how come I felt so rotten afterwards? " It was the first time

since it had happened that he had admitted the truth to anyone, even

himself.

He was giving her another glimpse into his heart by letting her see his

vulnerability. He showed the world such a hard, unbending exterior,

but underneath all the shields was a kind, gentle man who cared deeply

about others.

"Because you're honorable." She leaned up and kissed him, then took

hold of his hand and started walking again. "Grace sold another hat

today."

"What? " he asked, confused by the rapid change in subjects.

"I said Grace sold another hat today. Isn't that nice? " Jessica was

ready to move on, and that practical side of her was yet another reason

he had to add to his list when she asked him again why he loved her.

"Who'd she sell it to? " "A very nice woman . . . Well, she wasn't

nice at first, she was actually quite hostile, but Grace has a way of

putting people at ease and within minutes they were chatting like old

friends. She gave Grace seven dollars. I think she would have paid

more, but Grace said this was a working woman and couldn't spare

another cent. Grace tried to give the woman her hat until she realized

pride was involved. It was a good bargain, don't you think? " "What

kind of job could a woman get in that fleabag town? " "Her office is

in one of the rooms above the saloon." He grinned. "You do know what

she does for a living, don't you? " "Yes, but I wanted to see you