C. Brown - Compromising

His eyes bulged with fear as he stared into my eyes. Full of anger and feeling like I could put a fucking bullet in his head, I ripped my shirt off and pointed out the six men who were memorialized on my chest, who had died serving their country so that little shits like him could have the opportunity to do something better with their own lives. I reminded him that he chose this path during war time no less, and that I was offended, and quite frankly, felt as if my bullet should have gone through his fucking skull.

He cried more tears, but in the end he understood, or at least said he did. When I finally allowed him to go sleep, I reminded him that what he had seen would no doubt scar any sane person but that my sanity was in question, and if he ever thought about insulting the very people giving their blood for his stupid ass again, I’d make sure he suffered the same fate.

It took him a good three hours before he finally fell asleep. I took over babysitting duties for the rest of night, acting like a hovering cloud over this little shit to remind him that I was never too far away.

“You’re washing it again, Cassie? Damn, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you owned this thing.” Dalton joked, sitting on the sidewalk sipping a Slurpee while I slaved in the hot desert sun. Alex had left his truck with me, and in the weeks since he’d been gone, I’d probably washed it ten times.

“It’s beautiful. And you know the monster who drives this thing. He’d kill me if he saw it dirty.” I tossed my sopping, wet wash cloth at him, hitting him in the face.

“Gross, Cassie. Seriously!”

“Oh, shut up. Get off your ass and help me.”

He rose, his face still scrunched in dismay, and began scrubbing the side of the truck that had been covered with ever-flying Twentynine dust. “So what’s the deal? I’ve seen Angelica come by your place a few times.”

I blushed, feeling embarrassed because between our work schedules, Dalton and I hadn’t had much time with one another. “We just workout or play basketball. She and Serrateli are kind of seeing one another I guess, but they have this killer workout routine and have formed a group with people at work. I’m not sharing any deep dark secrets, that’s for sure.”

“Well, whatever. I’m sure Alex wouldn’t love the idea of you two being bosom buddies. How is he, anyway?”

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t heard from him. I’ve sent letters, but nothing in return.”

“It’s bad over there right now. I know it sucks, but if you haven’t heard anything, count it as a blessing.”

I shrugged, wanting to get away from this topic. “Anyway, how are you doing? Fill me in on all things, Dalton.”

“Not really much to tell.”

“Well, how are you and Ben?”

He blew out a haggard breath, indicating that this was a sore subject. “I don’t know. He wants to come out here in a couple of weeks.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I’ve been kind of seeing Johnson.”

“Your roommate?”

“Yes. I like him, he’s here, and he’s available. Ben is all the way in Ohio, and seeing him is hard. Plus, things are just complicated there.”

“What’s complicated, Dalton? He’s a great guy who thinks the world of you. He’s willing to move here.”

“I know. I just… I don’t know. I think I might like Johnson a little more.”

“I have nothing against Johnson. I just don’t understand how you could toss Ben aside so quickly.”

“I’m not tossing him aside. I just don’t know where my feelings are. I’m pretty sure I’ll let him come out…”

“But what about Johnson? You can’t play both sides, Dalton.”

“I know that. I know.”

“Then figure it out. You’re going to hurt someone if you don’t.”

“I know! Anyway, can we rinse this bitch yet? I’m hot and hungry.”

I grabbed the hose and began rinsing the soap away, turning the hose on Dalton a couple of times. “You said you were hot. I’m just hosing you down.”

Dalton wiped his face, sneering at me. “Where do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know, but hurry your ass up so we can get going. I have a headache that has camped out in my head for the past four days. It might be the stress of worrying about Alex.”

“Or these crazy ass workouts you’re doing with Angelica. Make sure you eat right and drink plenty of water. I don’t need to see you on your death bed in the hospital again.”

“Yes, Father,” I answered as condescendingly as possible. Dalton rolled his eyes at me in response.

We proceeded to dry the truck, then went to get some food.

++++

A week and a half later I finally got the call I’d been waiting for. When my phone rang at 3:30am, I knew exactly who it was and I wasted no time answering it.

“Hi, babe!” I responded much too cheerfully for such an early morning. There was a delay on the phone, but finally, Alex’s voice came through.

“Wow, you have no idea how great it is to hear your voice.” He responded, his voice low and breathy. “How the hell have you been?”

“I’ve been great. What about you? How is Iraq? I’ve been hearing shit on the news. Have those contractors been found?”

“Blondie,” he said, his voice pleading, “Let’s not talk about Iraq. I want to hear about you, and what you’ve got going on.”

There was an undercurrent of sadness filling his voice, and while my curiosity was beginning to get the best of me, I knew it was best not to beat a dead horse. Whatever was happening over there was no good, and apparently, it was weighing heavily on him. I caved and allowed the conversation to flow in the direction that seemed to make him most comfortable.

“Okay. Whatever you want to talk about, we’ll talk about.”

“What’s new with you? I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve heard your voice.”

“Nothing really. I go to work, come home, work out a little, then crash.”

“I didn’t hear food. You better make sure you’re eating right. I don’t need to come home to an emaciated girlfriend. You working out with Dalton?”

“Unfortunately, no. He works so much and spends so much time in the field, I never really see him.”

“So who are you working out with?” he asked, suspicion filling his voice.

I knew he wouldn’t like my answer, but there was no point in hiding it. “Angelica, and Seratteli, and some people they work out with.”

“What? Why the fuck are you getting chummy with her?”

“It’s not getting chummy, Alex. We work together. We have put the bullshit behind us, and I work out with their group. There are about ten of us.”

“I don’t give a fuck. She’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She’ll fucking turn on you, Cassie, in a heartbeat.”

“That’s the old Angelica, Alex. It’s changed…you’ll see when you get home.”

“I don’t want to see. Fuck her.”

“You’re so hostile. I can hear it in your voice. Are you sure you don’t need to blow some steam?”

“No, Cassie, I don’t. I can’t fucking tell you half of what’s going on out here anyway, so quit asking.”

“Don’t chew my fucking face off, Alex. I’m simply asking you a question. If you’re going to be an asshole, I’ll let you do it to those guys over there. I’m not staying on the phone for this shit.”

Our breaths filled the phone for a few seconds before he finally spoke up. “I’m sorry. It’s just crazy as fuck out here, and I thought I was ready for it, but I don’t think you can ever be ready for this shit. Anyway, how is everything else?”

“It’s fine. I had a meeting with Captain Hedlund the other day. They took my official statement, and asked Angelica about what happened the night I was attacked by Allen.”

The line went silent again.

“Alex?”

“Yeah, I’m here. What are they doing with the idiot?”

“Taking it to court-martial. I’m going to be testifying.”

“Oh no, the fuck you aren’t. There is no need to rehash all of that bullshit. They have statements, eye witness statements, and hospital records. I’m calling Hedlund myself.”

“Alex, back off. I’m going to do whatever I have to do to make sure that fucker is locked behind bars where he belongs.”

“Cassie—”

“No, Alex. You don’t get a say on this one.”

“Fine. But if it becomes too much, don’t think you owe that fucking court anything. They have more than enough to convict his ass.”

“I know, but I want to do this. It’ll make me feel better.”

“Hey, I’ve got to go. I’ve got assholes here to deal with.”

“Okay. You have mail coming from me. Just so you know.”

“Okay. And hey, I’m pinning on Staff Sergeant in the next week or so. Wish you could pin me, but I thought you should know. Have you talked to my family?”

“I talk to Angelica probably once a week. She says your mom is well, and grandma is okay. Congrats on pinning. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Blondie.”

Before I could say another word, the line went dead. An instant feeling of loneliness filled me, making me wish that I’d had more time on the phone with him and that the little time that we’d had wasn’t filled with so much back and forth arguing. But the conversation would have been worse if I had filled him in on everything that was happening back here.

According to Captain Hedlund, the defense had a surprise witness—Castillo. She claimed that I was the one who led Allen on, and when things went sour, Allen retaliated. I couldn’t believe she would stoop so low, but then again, I could. She was still all sorts of butt hurt and jealous. As badly as I’d wanted to find her ass and put an end to her the second I’d found out about her little game, I really couldn’t do anything but laugh her off. She was so desperate to hurt Alex and me that she would side with an animal who would have done the same thing to her given the chance.

That let me know I was dealing with a crazy person, so I just left it at that.

++++

Another week had gone by, and I hadn’t received another call, or any other form of communication from Alex. His demeanor over the phone had me worried about him, and even though I promised myself that I wouldn’t focus on the news coming out of Iraq, I couldn’t help it. According to Dalton, no news was good news, but that wasn’t the case for me. The less I heard, the more concerned I grew.

I knew the protocol for casualty notification, but even that wasn’t enough to ease my fears. The unknown held me like a vise, slowly squeezing all sanity out of me. More and more I turned to working out, trying to occupy myself and keep from staring at the computer screen. This obsession with Alex’s well-being was unhealthy, and while I was acutely aware of it, I couldn’t shake it.

Instead of spending another night in the gym, Angelica, Serratelli, and the rest of the crew decided to throw one hell of a party at a friend’s house who lived off base. I was inclined to pass, knowing that Alex would not have approved, but the more I sat around with nothing to do besides worry about him, I grew frustrated and decided I needed to blow off some steam, and got dressed, then stormed down to Dalton’s room and banged on his door, ready to snatch him out of the room to accompany me. Johnson opened the door, looking worn out himself.

“Hey, Cassie. Dalton’s not here if that’s who you’re looking for.”

“Well, you’re the only two who live here, so yeah, that’d be who I’m looking for,” I joked, but he was obviously in no mood for it. I had never seen him so down, and it concerned me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Dalton went to the airport. His friend Ben flew in.”

“What? Ben wasn’t due in for another week or so.”

“I know. He moved his flight and he’s here.”

“I’m really sorry Johnson, but hey, I’m on my way out to a party. Come with me. You don’t need to be here when he gets back. Not a pretty sight.”

“I’m really not—”

“What else are you going to do? I’m moping around for Alex, and apparently you’re doing the same for Dalton. Let’s go and have some fun.”

A trace of a smile touched his lips and he agreed, following me down to the truck after shutting off all of the lights and locking his door. I hadn’t spent any one on one time with Johnson before, but I liked him enough, and I hated what Dalton was doing. Tonight we, the lonely suckers in the barracks, would bust free and allow ourselves to have some fun.

When I pulled up to the house hosting the party, I was a bit taken aback by the scene. It was like a frat party on steroids. Lines of cars filled the driveway, the street curbs, and the open desert on the side and around to the back. A beer pong tournament looked to be taking place in the garage with kegs lining the side wall, and numerous, bikini clad girls being held by guys, doing keg stands.