Jacquie ’Alessandro - Confessions at Midnight

One corner of Sarah's mouth quirked upward. "That fiend. I should set the dogs on him."

A laugh escaped her and she shook her head. "Danforth and Desdemona? I'm afraid your dogs, in spite of their imposing size, would simply lick him to death."

"You're right. Clearly I need to purchase some vicious dogs."

"It wouldn't matter. Dogs like him."

"Then you should be happy. Dogs are very good judges of character. A man beloved by dogs is a man worth having."

"But that is the problem. I don't want to have him."

Sarah's expression turned soft with understanding. "I think, in your heart, you do. And that is what is causing your turmoil."

She shook her head. "My heart belongs to Edward." Didn't it? The fact that she would question something she'd always been so certain of truly alarmed her. "And even if it didn't, Daniel's made it clear he doesn't want my heart. He is only interested in me in a physical sense."

"Is that all you're interested in?"

Yes. No. I don't know. She thought she knew, but she just didn't anymore. The fact that all these changes and feelings had occurred in such a short time span only added to her confusion. "Y-Yes."

"Then I fail to see the problem. You both want the same thing." Sarah squeezed her hands again. "And you both should have it."

Carolyn searched her sister's eyes. "You're encouraging me to have an affair."

"I'm encouraging you to do whatever is going to make you happy. You've been unhappy for so long, and I want you to live again. I'll not find fault with anything you do, Carolyn." She hesitated, then said, "You've already begun an affair with him."

It wasn't a question, and was stated with such kindness and understanding, tears pooled in Carolyn's eyes. "I… I'm not quite certain what's come over me. I thought I had everything all figured out, but after Logan kissed me and it didn't elicit the same sensations as Daniel's kiss…" Her voice trailed off, then she drew a deep breath and continued. "This interlude with Daniel was supposed to be lighthearted. Carefree. And uncomplicated. And suddenly it doesn't feel that way."

"Because feelings are very difficult to contain. And predict."

"Which is very unsettling and vexing."

"Yes. But it can also be wonderful."

Yes. Or heartbreaking.

Sarah gave her quick hug. "Enjoy yourself, Carolyn. Bask in everything that makes you glow. If you concentrate on making today the best it can be, tomorrow will fall into place."

Carolyn leaned forward and kissed Sarah's cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She lowered her voice. "Don't look now, but Lord Surbrooke is across the room speaking to…" She craned her neck. "… Lady Margate. He's just caught sight of you and-oh, my, what a look came into his eyes. Like a flare of fire upon dry kindling."

Carolyn couldn't help but look. Her gaze locked with Daniel's across the room, and it seemed as if everything between them-the guests, the noise, the music, the clink of crystal glasses-all faded away. Myriad questions bombarded her and it was all she could do to remain in place and not rush across the room to ask him. Did you read the book? My note? Are you as anxious to be together again as I am?

"Julianne and Emily are about to descend upon us," Sarah said from the corner of her mouth. "I'm going to leave you in their very capable hands while I locate my husband, who promised me a dance."

Wondering how long it would take Daniel to approach her, Carolyn offered him a discreet nod, one he returned. Then she forced her attention to Emily and Julianne, who were demanding to hear the details of last night's shooting. When she glanced back to where she'd last seen Daniel, he was gone, as was Lady Margate, to whom he'd been speaking. Was he on his way across the room? Her heart quickened with the notion. But after a quarter hour had passed in conversation with Julianne and Emily and he'd yet to approach her, her spirits sank. Where was he, and why hadn't he come to her?

"Enjoying the party?"

The question pulled Daniel's attention away from Carolyn, who stood near the punch bowl on the opposite side of the crowded room, and he turned. Matthew stood next to him, champagne glass in hand.

"Of course I'm enjoying the party." A complete lie. He'd done his duty, chatting and mingling with the other guests, including Gideon Mayne and Charles Rayburn, who were in attendance, still hoping to find a lead in Blythe's murder. More than once he'd felt their stares boring into him.

But now that he'd fulfilled his social obligations, he wanted nothing more than to leave. With Carolyn, who, despite his best efforts, he hadn't been able to erase from his thoughts for so much as an instant. Especially after reading the explicit book she'd sent him. The brief words she'd written on the accompanying card were burned into his brain: I want all of this.

And God knows, he wanted to give it all to her. And had decided to begin right away, by employing a method used by one the Anonymous Lady's lovers. At a party they both attended, the lady's lover had purposely kept his distance, building an air of anticipation. And now he was doing his damnedest to remain aloof, but the effort was costing him. Perhaps he'd be better served to employ a different method described in the book-that of spiriting his lover away to the nearest empty room, locking the door, and proceeding to show her how much he desired her. But given the gossip he knew was already circulating regarding them being together during last night's shooting, he decided for her sake to err on the side of discretion.

Although, spiriting her away might be a better plan since that bastard Jennsen was now talking to her. And smiling at her. And damn it, she was smiling back. In fact, they were chatting like the best of friends.

"I must say I'm surprised you're enjoying the party," said Matthew, "because you don't look as if you are. Your countenance resembles a storm cloud."

Bloody hell. He wiped his expression clean then tossed back a swallow of his brandy. "The party is delightful."

"Glad you think so. Personally, I cannot wait to get my lovely wife home and out of that very lovely gown she's wearing. Do you have plans for later this evening?"

Yes. I'm going to toss that bastard Jennsen into the nearest privet hedge. Then make love to the most beautiful woman I've ever known. "Why do you ask?"

"Just making conversation." He paused, then said, "Striking couple."

"Who?"

"Carolyn and Jennsen."

Daniel's fingers tightened on his snifter. "They're not a couple," he said, proud of how nonchalant he sounded.

"I hadn't thought so, but something my wife told me not a quarter hour ago changed my mind."

"Oh? What did she tell you?"

"Jennsen kissed her-'her' being Carolyn, of course. Not my wife. If he'd kissed my wife, I assure you he wouldn't be capable of attending a party."

Everything inside Daniel froze. He slowly turned toward Matthew. "I beg your pardon?"

"I said, 'If he'd kissed my wife-'"

"Not that part."

"Ah. Jennsen kissed Carolyn."

Feeling as if he'd been stabbed, Daniel asked tersely, "When?"

"Today."

He shook his head. "You're mistaken." He had to be.

"I assure you I'm not."

"Where?"

Matthew frowned. "Sarah didn't say, although if I had to guess, I'd say probably in the drawing room."

"I meant where on her body did he kiss her? Her hand? Her cheek?" While he hated the idea of it, he supposed he could refrain from tossing Jennsen on his arse for kissing her hand or cheek. He supposed.

Matthew shook his head. "Oh, no. On her lips. According to Sarah it was quite a kiss."

He felt as if his pores were about to spew steam. "What the bloody hell does that mean?"

Matthew cocked at brow at his tone. "Surely you've had ample enough lovers to know what sort of kiss 'quite' a kiss is."

A red haze seemed to dull his vision. That bastard had kissed Carolyn. His Carolyn. He was going to do worse than toss Jennsen on his bloody colonial arse-he was going to kick it all the way back to America. He opened his mouth to speak, but in his fury no words came forth. He'd never, in his entire life, been so angry. Or so sickly jealous.

Which was ridiculous. He held no claim on Carolyn. Like all his previous lovers, she was free to do whatever she wished with whomever she wanted. As was he. The problem was that, unlike all his previous liaisons, he didn't want anyone other than her. And the possibility that she might want someone other than him, might share with someone else the intimacies that she'd shared with him, all but cleaved him in two. Clearly Jennsen was attracted to her. Was she attracted to Jennsen as well?

"What was her reaction to Jennsen's kiss?" He had to force the words past this tight throat.

"I've no idea. But she doesn't appear to be angry with him. And clearly she didn't blacken his eyes." Matthew leaned closer. "I was under the impression you were interested in the lady. If so, you'd best stop fannying around."

"What makes you think I'm fannying around?"

"The fact that she's standing over there chatting and smiling with Jennsen and you're here with me is evidence enough."

Daniel watched Jennsen hand Carolyn a fresh glass of punch and tried to banish the gut-wrenching the image of that bastard kissing his woman. Tasting her. Touching her skin. Making love to her.

She isn't your woman. She's your lover. Nothing more. Yes. Which is what he'd wanted-his usual shallow affair. And what she'd wanted-because her heart remained devoted to Edward. Christ, it was bad enough he had to compete with her dead husband's memory-a man she set on a pedestal so high as to render him a near deity. Now he had to compete with Jennsen as well? A very much alive man who clearly had no qualms about taking what he wanted. And a man who, based on the way she was smiling at him, she obviously liked.

Well, Daniel didn't have any qualms about taking what he wanted either, something Jennsen was going to discover before this evening was over.

Beside him, Matthew said in an undertone, "Well, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. I distinctly recall you telling me that all women look the same in the dark, so based on that theory, any woman will do as far as satisfying your lustful urges. Certainly there are a bevy of lovely females to choose from right here in this room."

Were there? He hadn't noticed. The only woman he'd paid the slightest attention to all evening was Carolyn. Even while speaking to other women-such as Kimberly and Gwendolyn, Lady Margate, both of whom he'd once been intimate-he'd been completely aware of Carolyn. Where she was, with whom she spoke. How many times she looked in his direction. And he clearly needed to rethink his "all women look the same in the dark" theory since Carolyn had pulverized it into dust.

Matthew made a tsking sound. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

"What are you talking about?"

"You, my friend. I'm talking about you. A very short time ago you told me you only wanted an affair and that your heart remained your own."

Daniel dragged his gaze away from Carolyn and Jennsen to glare at his friend. "Your point?"

"I believe you've been hoist upon your own petard." He clapped his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Having recently been through the gut-twisting experience of losing my heart, not to mention my soul, you have my sympathies."

Daniel actually felt himself go pale. "I've done nothing of the sort."

"I've been observing you, my friend, and you most certainly have."

"Since when have you taken to observing me so closely?"

Matthew flashed a smile. "Since you became so very interesting to watch. Consider me at your disposal should you need an ear to listen-or a shoulder to cry on."

"I'm hardly going to burst into tears."

Matthew gave an approving nod. "Keep that stiff upper lip. Good plan. As for me, I'll just wait for the moment until I can say 'I told you so.' And perhaps even collect on that fifty pound wager we made. In the meantime, I'm off to find the love of my life, take her home and get her into bed. I suggest you do the same. I wish you luck."