“Naw, naw. That’s no good. You could lead the police to me, easy. Or worse, the Burque dealer waiting on the payment we owe. Maybe I could trade you to him instead.”

Raw, real fear for herself seized a hold of her gut. She’d rather die than be passed as a consolation prize to another drug dealer—probably a bigger dealer than Baltierra if he was based in Albuquerque, probably even more deadly too.

“That’s just passing trouble to the other dealer,” she said, trying to sound logical. “People will be looking for me. I’m dating the sheriff. He’s not going to take kindly to it if I’m hurt.”

“Shut up. I’m trying to think.” He pressed his palms to his temples and strode to one of the windows, peeling the yellowed newspaper away to gaze outside.

It was a gamble to admit her connection to Vaughn, but she couldn’t see any other choice, even though it disgusted her to feel so helpless that her best chance of survival was to throw a man’s name around and wait for him to rescue her. Then again, maybe Vaughn had been right—she was no damsel in distress. She’d learned the hard way that no one was going to save her, or her family, but herself. She didn’t need a man.

What she needed was a weapon.

She scanned the room. Every space was jammed with a rusted washer or dryer. To her left was a sagging hanger rod on one of those rolling baskets. It wasn’t a sure bet that it would pull off easily, but she didn’t like the way Baltierra was nervously petting his gun.

A tug, then another, and the rope fell away. Sucking in a breath, she stood. Baltierra didn’t turn around. Three silent steps to the side and she was at the rolling basket. Carefully, carefully, she gripped the rod. It didn’t budge at her light touch. She’d have to yank, which would make a sound. But any second, Baltierra would turn around and see her standing there. Instinct told her he wouldn’t hesitate to shoot.

She took a moment to send her love out to her sisters and Tommy, along with a prayer that they be taken care of if she died. Then she sent her love out to Vaughn, for all that was worth. Even if she did make it out of this room alive, she knew their relationship was over for good. Wasn’t sure she’d ever open her heart to a man again, after all the disappointment and hurt she’d been dealt. Then she tightened her grip on the rod.

“I know what I need to do with you. You and I are going to go for a drive,” Baltierra said in a louder voice. He looked over his shoulder at her. “You ever see the view from Hoja Pass?”

Rachel yanked the rod down with her as she ducked behind a washing machine. It gave way from the rolling basket. But she was too late. Baltierra opened fire.

Chapter Nineteen

Rachel made herself as small as she could. The washingmachine danced and quaked as it was pummeled with bullet after bullet. Any time now, he was going to change angles to get a clear shot at her. Cornered as she was, there wasn’t anything she could do to stop him.

The window was too high off the ground for her to break the glass with the metal rod and escape. She shoved at the next washing machine, hoping to squeeze behind it. But Baltierra’s head came into view, then his shoulders. Another two steps around and he’d have a point-blank shot.

He rounded the corner of the washing machine, sneering at her. “Guess we’re not going to need to go to Hoja Pass together after all.”

He leveled the gun at her face, and she thought, This is it. Might as well go down fighting. She rose, the rod feeling heavy in her quivering hands as she wound back. Laughing, he squeezed the trigger and at the same time she swung.

Click.

The gun was empty. Baltierra’s mouth fell open, his eyes widened. Rachel threw her weight into the swing, releasing a primal growl as the rod connected with the side of his skull.

He fell backward and hit the ground.

At that moment, the door banged open and four helmeted men dressed in black and holding rifles poured in. sheriff was written in white block letters across their flak vests. Hope flared anew inside her. If they’d found her, then they must be aware of the fire too. Could it be that her family was safe and alive?

She recognized Vaughn instantly. He rushed to Baltierra’s prone body and kicked the gun away from his hand. A second member of his team joined him, aiming his rifle at Baltierra’s body. The other two officers, one of whom Rachel now recognized as a woman, rushed past, searching the room.

Vaughn ripped his helmet off and stepped around Baltierra to Rachel, rifle in one hand and the other arm open wide, as though to embrace her. She stepped back, flattening against the wall, the rod out in front of her, distressed at the idea of touching him. She couldn’t allow herself to fall into his arms, because then she’d be back to that needy state, back to wanting Vaughn more than was safe or healthy for her. She refused to walk into that trap again.

He was panting, like he’d been running for miles. She could tell the instant he realized she wasn’t going to let him hold her because he lowered his arm to his weapon and stared at her in disbelief. “Are you hurt?” he asked between gasps.

“My family. Are they . . . were they lost in the fire?”

“Oh, baby, no. They’re all fine. Everybody’s worried about you.”

The beginning of a sob of relief tore from her throat. She couldn’t stop nodding. He reached for her again, but she held the rod steady. “Stop, please,” she croaked. “You were right about me last night. Right about everything. I have to save myself. I can’t lean. I won’t. Never again.”

His hurt was written plainly on his face. “What?”

She gritted her teeth and looked past Vaughn, blinking her tears away. Stratis had rolled a semiconscious Baltierra to his stomach and was cuffing him.

“I need to see my family,” she said.

“Okay. The EMTs are going to check you out first, make sure you’re not hurt. Then I’ll take you home.”

She let the rod fall to the ground and smushed her face into her palms. He wasn’t getting it. She had no choice but to hurt him again, like she had that night in the hospital parking lot so many months ago.

He stroked her arm. “Rachel, talk to me. Are you hurt?”

“I’m not hurt. I don’t need the EMTs to look me over. I have to see my sisters right now!” She swallowed hard and met his gaze. “And I don’t want you to be the one to take me.”

He flinched, and she felt wretched, bringing that pain down on him. But it was the only way they could move forward. He’d already told her he couldn’t be with her, couldn’t even spare her one morning when she’d been desperate for his comfort. And that had hurt her something fierce, but it had taken being kidnapped for the lesson to truly sink in. All along, she should’ve planted her feet and stood tall and proud and alone instead of wasting time wondering if the men in her life were going to come through for her.

“I’ll take you,” Undersheriff Stratis said. He shot Vaughn a sidelong glance. “It’s the way it should be anyway.”

She nodded. “Yes. The way it should be. Thank you.” She lurched toward the door.

“Don’t do this,” Vaughn called after her. “Rachel, please . . .”

Then she was outside, stumbling through the early-morning darkness, Vaughn following close, Stratis at her side. The street was crowded with patrol cars, fire trucks, and ambulances. Beyond the vehicles was a gathering crowd of onlookers.

Stratis directed her to his squad car.

“Let me drive you home, Rachel. Don’t cut me out like this,” Vaughn said, his voice strained, desperate. “Please, give me a chance to talk to you.”

With her hand on the passenger door of Stratis’s squad car, she met Vaughn’s gaze. “We’re out of chances. When I’m with you, my life falls apart. Bad things happen. Like when I leaned on my dad. You and me, we’re really over this time.”

She thought she might throw up, saying it. Mashing her lips together, she lowered into the seat and closed the door. When Stratis pulled away from the curb, she chanced a look out the rear window.

Vaughn was on his knees in the road, his head in his hands.

She closed her eyes and hugged herself tight. Her family was safe, the bad guys would never bother them again, and she was alone. From here on out, her life was family and alfalfa. When she felt lost, she’d have to find her own way out from under the feeling. No more waiting around for men to slay her monsters. No more leaning.

No more Vaughn.

* * *

It took all day long for Vaughn and his deputies to sort through the case against Elias Baltierra. Nathan Binderman and Torin Kirby spent the day at the Sorentino farm processing the scene. Damn near killed Vaughn to hold back from asking them how Rachel was faring.

When he’d found her at the Laundromat, all he’d wanted to do was hold her, to feel her breath and heat, and assure himself she was okay. But she’d pushed him away. On some levels, he understood her fear. Twice now, terrible events had happened after she’d been with him. But the hour he’d spent not knowing if she were alive or dead brought Vaughn’s priorities into stark focus.

Nothing mattered to him as much as Rachel. But proving to her that his love was worth facing her fears was an overwhelming proposition. He had no idea how to go about it. What he needed was some solid advice.

He pulled his squad car into his parents’ driveway around dinnertime, hoping he wasn’t interrupting their meal. He didn’t smell any tasty dinner aromas wafting over the front yard, so there was a good chance he’d timed it right.

He knocked on the kitchen door as he opened it. His mom looked up from dusting the window blinds. Dad was at the kitchen counter, tossing a nasty-looking salad.

With a wave to his dad, he went straight for Mom and snagged her in a hug. “What are you doing, cleaning the blinds? You already cleaned the house from top to bottom yesterday. You should be relaxing, maybe watching one of those daytime talk shows you tape, a glass of wine in your hand.”

She patted his arm. “I know, I know, but the house doesn’t feel clean yet. Maybe when I’m done with the living room I’ll take a break.”

It was no wonder the house felt unclean to her. The police had invaded her private space, pawed through her clothing, touched everything in the house. Every time he thought about it, his anger toward Meyer started winding up again.

“Why don’t you let me hire some cleaning people to come in and scour the place?”

She shrugged. “You already offered that, and it’s sweet of you, but the thought of more strangers in here doesn’t sit well with me.”

Vaughn hugged her tighter. “I’d do anything to go back and prevent what happened to you yesterday.”

She reached up and cradled his cheeks in her palms. “You already told me that too. What you’re forgetting is that my people are from Sicily. So I know how to handle hard times. It’s in my blood. I’m no weakling, honey. Don’t insult me like that.”

“Of course you’re not, Ma. I didn’t mean to imply—”

His dad clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Vaughn, here’s a lesson about dealing with women. Keep your head down and say I’m sorry. Don’t try to explain because you’ll only dig yourself deeper into a hole.”

He arched a brow at his dad, masking his pain with a grin. “You learn that the hard way, old man?”

Dad chuckled. “You don’t know the half of it. We’re having a salad for dinner, so I’m not even going to bother inviting you to stay.”

“Appreciate that. It looks terrible.” He pulled a face that made his mom smile and playfully slap his arm.

“How’s the investigation going on Monday’s shootout at the Sorentino property?” Dad asked.

“That investigation turned into a whole web of charges against Wallace Meyer Jr. and his cohorts. I handed the cases over to Nathan Binderman and Wesley Stratis about an hour ago.”

His dad narrowed his eyes. “I thought you wanted to stick it to Wallace Meyer.”

Vaughn rubbed his chin. “I’ve had a change of heart.” He hooked his thumb in the direction of the workshop. “I reshoed a horse a few days ago, so I’m low on No. 5 nails. Do you have any you could spare?”

His dad nodded, taking the hint. “Let’s go see.”

In the workshop, Vaughn settled onto a stool and opened the nail drawer. It was still neatly organized from the last time he’d visited. Dad set a bucket of nails in front of him. “My students made these. How about you see if any of them are salvageable?”