K. Bromberg - Crashed

I look up at the standings and see that Colton is still in the lead before my eyes are drawn to the flag stand where the flagger is getting the white flag denoting last lap ready. And then it waves and my heart leaps into my throat. Becks pumps a fist in the air and reaches over to squeeze the shoulder of the crew member next to him.

Someone brushes against my shoulder and I look over to see Andy beside me, cautious smile ready to light up his face when the checkered flag takes flight. I look back up but my view of the flag stand is obstructed by the row of red fire suits standing atop the pit row wall, watching, waiting, anticipating.

And then I hear it.

The crushing roar of the crowd and the jubilant whoops of the crew as they jump off the wall hooting and hollering in victory. I’m so overcome with emotion I don’t even remember who grabbed who, but all I know is that Andy and I are hugging each other out of pure excitement. He did it. He really did it.

The next few minutes pass in a blur as hugs and high fives are given all around, headsets are removed, and we all move quickly in a big mass toward victory lane. The motor revs as Colton pulls into his spot fresh off his victory lap.

And I don’t know what the protocol is for non-crew members, but I’m right in the thick of it, fighting my way to see him. Wild horses couldn’t keep me from him right now.

My view is blocked temporarily by camera crews and I’m so anxious—heart pounding, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide, heart overflowing with love—that I want to push them out of the way to get to him.

When they shift to get a better shot, I see him standing there, accepting congratulations from Becks, bottle of Gatorade to his lips, hand running through his sweat soaked hair sticking up in total disarray, and the most incredible expression on his face—exhaustion mixed with relief and pride.

And then as if he can feel my gaze on him, he locks his eyes on mine, the biggest, most heart-stopping grin blanketing his face. My heart stops and starts as I take him in. I swear the air zings with sparks from our connection. He doesn’t even say a word to Beckett but leaves him behind and starts pushing through the crowd, the mass moving with him, his eyes never leaving mine, until he’s standing before me.

I’m against him in an instant, his arms closing around me and lifting my feet off the ground as he throws his head back and emits the most carefree laugh I’ve ever heard before crushing his mouth to mine. And there is so much going on around us—utter chaos—but it’s nothing compared to the way he’s making me feel inside right now.

Everyone and everything fades away because I’m right where I belong—in his arms. I feel the heat of his body pressed against mine rather than the press jostling us to and fro to get the perfect shot. I inhale his smell, soap and deodorant intermingled with a hard day’s work—and it has my pheromones snapping to attention, has them silently urging him to take me, dominate me, own me so I’m marked by that scent. I taste Gatorade on his lips and it’s nowhere near enough to satiate the desire coursing through me, because with Colton, one taste will never be enough. I hear his laugh again as he breaks from our kiss and presses his forehead to mine for a moment, his chest rumbling from the euphoric sound.

“You did it!”

“No,” he disagrees, pulling his head back to look in my eyes. “We did it, Ry. It was us together because I couldn’t have won without you.”

My heart tumbles in my chest and crashes into my stomach that’s jolted up as if I’m free falling. And in a sense I am. Because my love for him is endless, bottomless, eternal.

I smile at him, tears blurring my vision as I press one more chaste kiss on his lips. “You’re right,” I murmur. “We did it.”

He squeezes me tight one more time and lowers me to the ground with another heart-stopping grin as the world around us seeps back. I step away, allowing everyone else their five seconds with him, and yet all I can think of are his words, we did do it.

And I watch him—the man I love—and know his words have never been more true. We’ve really done it. We’ve faced our demons together.

His past, his fears, his shame.

My past, my fears, my grief.

He looks over in the midst of an interview question and winks at me with a smirk. Pride, love, and relief flow through me like a tidal wave.

Holy shit.

We really did do it.

I sit back and watch Zander and his counselor work together, and my heart surges at seeing him so actively engaged. He’s talking so much now and beginning to heal. I allow the pride I feel to swell and the tears to blur my vision because he’s doing it.

He’s actually doing it.

I walk from his room where they’re having their session and out toward the kitchen, listening to the music in Shane’s room and the chatter of the rest of the boys building a Lego city out on the backyard patio. Dane’s emptying the last of the silverware from the dishwasher when I walk into the kitchen and plop down on a stool with an exhausted sigh.

“I agree!” he says, closing a drawer and sitting down beside me. “So,” he says when I don’t say anything. “How’s it going with the panty melting Adonis?”

I roll my eyes. “You just wish he was a boxer-brief melting Adonis.” I snort.

“Hell to the yeah I do, but I’ve given up hope that I can turn him to the better side. Only a blind man would miss the way he looks at you.”

“Oh, Dane.” I sigh, a smile spreading on my lips at just the thought of Colton and how great things have been over the past few weeks. At the comforting rhythm we’ve settled ourselves into without even speaking about it. Things just feel natural. Like they were meant to be. No more drama, no more lack of communication, and no more hiding secrets. “Things are great. Couldn’t be more perfect.”

And when I say it, I really believe it. I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop like before. I’m not expecting anything anymore because if being with Colton has taught me anything, it’s that our love isn’t patient, nor is it kind, it’s just uniquely ours.

“So living together hasn’t been a horrible disaster?”

“No,” I say with a softness as I think of how it’s been quite the opposite. “It’s been pretty incredible actually.”

“C’mon, the man has to have something that’s horrific about him,” he teases.

“Nah, he’s pretty damn perfect,” I reply, loving the chance to say perfect again when it comes to Colton and me.

“I don’t believe it,” he says, smacking a fist to the counter. “He’s got to pick his nose or snore horribly or fart like a rhino.”

“Nope!” Laughter rocks through me and he tries incredibly hard to not crack a smile but his resolve is short lived.

“You have to be lying, Ry, because no man can be that fucking perfect.” He shrugs. “Well, unless of course, it’s me.”

“Well, of course,” I say, laughing and shaking my head. “Let’s see …” I smirk, thinking of something to satisfy him. “He did refuse to buy me a box of tampons on the way home from work the other day.”

The look on his face is priceless, lips lax and eyes wide. “The prick!” he spits out in mock disgust before shaking his head. “Shit, he just went up twenty points in my book. Sweetie, you can’t ask an alpha-Adonis like him to buy your girly shit. That’s the equivalent of asking him to hand over his balls on a platter.”

The water in my mouth almost comes out my nose I’m laughing so hard. “Dane!”

“Well it’s true.” He shrugs. “I’m glad to see they’re still firmly attached.”

“Yeah.” I snort. “Just ’cause you want them.”

“Well,” he draws out, “we would make a cute couple, and fuck if I don’t like balls firmly attached to the people I date.”

And my next sip of water isn’t as lucky as my last one. I spit it out as laughter forces a spray causing us to laugh even harder. It takes a few minutes for us to settle down because each time one of us looks at the other, we start laughing again.

* * *

I’m hung up at the office again. Haddie’s picking you up for me. Call you on the way home. Crash My Party, Luke Bryan. - Xx C

My heart soars and soul warms at the song he’s texted. My sentimental, alpha male full of continuous contradictions. I sigh to push away my disappointment because I missed him terribly today, but I’m ecstatic about spending a little time with Haddie. I haven’t seen her much lately.

I pick up my phone and reply. I miss you. Hurry home. All of Me, John Legend. -XXX

I check the clock and realize time’s gotten away from me, so I start getting my stuff together and saying my goodbyes to the boys.

When I exit the house she’s sitting in her car outside. I open the passenger side door to her squeal of delight. “Well fuck me sideways it’s so good to see you!”

“I know!” I tell her as she pulls me in for a quick hug across the console, before gunning the motor and taking off with a laugh.

I throw my head back in a laugh that matches hers and close my eyes for a minute, letting the wind of the open window rush over my face. The wind dissipates as she rolls the window up, and I turn to see her eyes glancing from the road ahead of her over to me.

“Thanks for picking me up. If I had known Colton was going to work late, I wouldn’t have let him drop me off. Sorry.”

“I know, you’re such a pain in the ass!” she says as she flicks her blinker and makes a left turn. “So since Mr. Fine-as-fuck has dumped you for now, how about a few drinks to catch up on things? Like why even though all your things are in our house, you never are … despite you adamantly denying that you’ve “officially” moved in with him.”

I laugh and shake my head. “I don’t want to jinx things.” I shrug. “You know how I am.”

“Yep, I sure do. So that’s why we’re going to knock back a few so you relax, get loosey-goosey and talk to me.”

As much as I want to catch up with her, I’m dead tired. “Why don’t we go to his house and we can sit on the deck, look out at the water, and have some wine. Besides,” I say, looking down at my T-shirt and jeans, “I’m not dressed for a bar.”

“Exactly what I thought you’d say,” she says, reaching behind my seat and grabbing something. She places a tote bag on my lap. When I look over at her, she just smirks. “Nice try, Ry, but we’re going out for drinks.” She nods her head at the bag. “A shirt, sexy shoes, and makeup.”

“What?” I say, surprised but at the same time not surprised that she’s going to get her way.

“Hussy-up baby! I’m a driving and time’s a wasting.” I laugh and shake my head at her. “You’ll thank me before the night is through.” We slow to a stop at a light and she picks up her phone and sends a quick text, before putting it down and looking over at me. “You’re not getting out of this, Thomas. I miss my friend, I want a drink, end of story.”

The light changes and she takes off as a smile spreads on my lips. God, I love her.

I don’t really pay attention to where we’re going because I’m looking in the visor mirror and fixing my makeup and primping my hair. Haddie’s only input is “Leave it down,” when I try to put it up in a clip. We chat about this and that, to catch each other up on the day to day. I’m zipping up my pouch of makeup when my phone rings.

I fumble with it clumsily when I see it’s Colton. My immediate thought is that he’s done with work and can meet up with us for a drink.

“Hi!” I say as I shove everything back into the bag at my feet on the floor.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

And just the sound of his voice causes a wave of love to wash over me. “Are you done with work?”

“I lied,” he says, and I’m immediately confused. “I’m not working because I’m busy planning the perfect date for you, so look up because that date starts right now.”

I snap my head up and cannot contain the sob that catches in my throat as I take in the dirt field and the quiet carnival in front of me. The motionless Ferris wheel, the vacant Midway, the locked turnstiles

“Colton … what … why?” I attempt to ask as astonishment passes through me, his amused chuckle resonating through the line.

“We haven’t been on a real date since our night at the carnival, so I thought this would be the most fitting way to start this one. I know you’re not good with the unknown, but promise me you’ll go with it. For me.”

What? Holy hell! “Yes … of course,” I stutter.