I pushed hard against his chest to break the connection and drew a shaky gulp of air.

Ben’s knuckles stroked my jaw. “You okay, baby?”

I pushed his hand away. “Don’t baby me.”

“What? You warned them this could get loud . . . I thought you wanted . . .” His brow knitted in confusion.

Oh my God. He thought I wanted sex? Ha! “Yes, loud because I’d be yelling at you.”

“Oh.”

Yeah. Oh. “Ben . . .” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm myself. “Bringing my family here . . . planning this surprise is incredible, but it doesn’t fix things between us.”

His face fell.

“Don’t you dare let me find out things that big about your life on the Internet.”

He nodded sheepishly. “I’m so sorry. I’ll spend the rest of forever making it up to you, if you just let me.”

“I don’t need to know that you had a crush on your teacher in the third grade. What I need is to trust you.”

“I know, baby. I know. I promise you that you can.” I’d never seen his expression so somber, his eyes so sad. “These last few weeks have been the worst of my life, Emmy. I can’t lose you. You’re mine. And I’m yours.”

My heart clenched in my chest and I drew a deep breath. His sincerity, his masculine scent, the pain reflected in his eyes was too much. I turned away from him, gazing out the window to the city blanketed by snow. Things looked so simple on the outside; traffic continued zooming past, lights burned brightly in the distance, people huddled into their coats for warmth on the sidewalk below. Life went on. There was beauty, heartache, and love so bottomless you felt it deep in your core. That was the love Ben and I had found. We’d hit some bumpy patches, sure, but my mom’s advice resonated in my head. Perhaps it was all part of life. There were ups and downs, love and loss. And I knew in my heart, I wasn’t ready to give him up. Not over a stupid video he’d made years ago before he even knew me. I’d just need to grow thicker skin if I wanted to be with him.

I turned to face him in the silent room. “There aren’t going to be any more women, any more stories coming out of the woodwork, are there?”

“No ma’am.” His voice was firm.

I paced the room, planting my hands on my hips. “Thank God you only slept with three girls before me—you seem to make stupid decisions where sex is involved. And don’t think I won’t track down the third girl and grill her if necessary. Because I will.” I jabbed a finger in his direction.

“No, that’s not needed.”

I shot him a warning glare that said I wasn’t above doing just that. I knew Bray would help me if I needed it.

“Listen, Emmy, I’m trying to tell you, this last month has been the hardest of my life. I can’t survive without you. You’re my world, baby. Please say you can forgive me.”

His hand found mine and he laced our fingers together, joining us from wrist to elbow. The warmth of his skin, the weight of his hand in mine, the burn in his gaze all served to remind me I really was his. And I couldn’t live without him, either. Looking into his hazel gaze felt like coming home. No way was I willing to give that up.

I lifted on my toes and pressed a kiss to his surprised mouth. “I forgive you,” I murmured.

His mouth slanted against mine and his tongue sought entrance, lightly stroking my own. God, I’d missed him. I missed everything about him. His sweet kisses, his filthy murmurings in my ear, the feel of his firm body pressed to mine. I was stupid to think a video recorded years ago was enough to come between us. He held my jaw in his hands and kissed me like his life depended on it. I realized something in that moment. I wouldn’t let anything come between us ever again. We’d weather whatever storms life delivered together.

His hands wandered from my face to my neck, sliding down over my shoulders, my lower back, and down to my bottom, which he cupped in his palms to haul me closer. “Don’t ever leave me again, baby. Ever. Promise me.”

“I promise,” I whispered in between kisses.

Being back in Ben’s arms gave me solace. Not the kind of fairytale love that the movies portrayed. What we had was real. We were real. We made mistakes, held grudges, and then moved on. It actually gave me piece of mind to know that.

“Come on, your family’s probably wondering where we are,” he said, releasing his tight hold on me ever so slightly.

Remembering that my mom, dad, and brother were here in New York warmed my heart. “Thank you for bringing them to me. That was incredibly thoughtful and sweet of you.”

Taking my hand in his once again, he led me back to the living room. My mom and Ellie rushed to my side, questioning smiles ghosting their lips.

“Everything okay?” my mom asked.

Keeping one hand possessively curled around my hip, Ben looked to me to answer.

“Everything’s great, Mom.” I gave Ellie a reassuring look, too, letting her know there were no hard feelings for dragging me over here.

My dad and brother remained planted across the room, watching us as they quietly sipped their drinks. Watching me with Ben, my dad’s mouth curled into a lazy smile, and while Porter still looked guarded, he nodded something in silent agreement to Ben.

Now that I was more relaxed I took in the room more thoroughly. The ten-foot evergreen tree smelled intoxicating and made the room cozy and inviting. I didn’t know how he’d managed to get a Christmas tree delivered to a hotel room, but I knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. The thought filled my heart with love.

My mom, ever the hostess, ensured everyone had a cocktail in their hands and encouraged us to eat. The hors d’oeuvres did look delicious and smelled even better.

“Are you hungry?” Ben asked.

“A little,” I admitted.

He released his hold on me just long enough to prepare me a small plate of bruschetta, spicy shrimp on skewers, and mushrooms stuffed with feta cheese.

Yum.

I accepted the plate and nibbled on a bite of shrimp. The emotional journey over the past hour had left me surprisingly hungry.

Ben helped himself to a shrimp from the platter then returned to my side, his large hand once again finding my hip to curl around me possessive and sure.

After we’d eaten all the appetizers and devoured the mini chocolate cheesecakes for dessert, my mom shuffled us to sit down around the tree.

My parents, Ellie, and Porter sunk into the inviting sofa and armchairs while I sat cross-legged on the floor next to the tree. It was the spot I always took at home on Christmas morning to pass out the presents. Ben settled next to me on an ottoman.

“Too bad I didn’t know you guys were coming. I don’t have any gifts for you,” I commented.

“That’s okay, honey. Christmas isn’t about the gifts. I’m just so glad we’re together.”

“Me too.” My eyes found Ben’s.

“Besides, Ben gave us the best gift of all: being here together.” My mom smiled warmly at him. Oh yeah, my mom was sold. Hook, line, and sinker. He tended to have that effect on women.

He was still watching me intently, making me feel so incredibly cherished and special. “I think there is one present in the tree.” He pointed to a branch near the center of the tree and I saw that he was right. Nestled among the pine needles was a tiny turquoise-colored box.

I felt the air around us shift. My mom leaned forward in her seat and Ellie held her breath. What was going on?

Ben rose to his feet and plucked the little box from inside the tree, then turned to face me, looking contemplative. Brilliant hazel eyes locked on mine and one hand lovingly stroked my cheek as he stood before me.

“Before you came along, I didn’t know there was a piece of me missing. But there was. You’ve taken a place in my life, in my heart, that was empty before.”

A stray tear escaped my eye and rolled along my cheek. Ben’s thumb caught it and he smiled at me lightly before continuing. “You’ve enriched my life, made it more complete, and I don’t want to spend any more of my days without you by my side. I love you with my whole heart.”

My heart galloped in my chest, watching this beautiful man pour his heart out to me. My mom was now actively crying and my confused brain scrambled to try to make sense of this moment.

He dropped down onto both knees and kneeled before me, looking deep into my eyes. He slowly opened the box. “Will you be my wife, Emerson Jean?”

Big tears leaked from my eyes and my heart tripped over itself at hearing those words fall from Ben’s mouth. It was everything I’d wanted and more.

But not like this. Not because he felt backed into a corner and needed to make some grand gesture to win me back. I wanted to shout yes, to throw myself into his embrace, to knock him to the floor and kiss him senseless. But the little annoying voice in the back of my head refused to pipe down.

Ben’s confidence faltered, and I saw his jaw tense as he waited for me to answer.

Shit.

I knew how this man was with rejection, and I wasn’t rejecting him . . . I just needed to talk to him about this. To be sure this was what he wanted.

“Emmy,” he whispered, his voice a hoarse plea. “Do you want some privacy?” he whispered.

I nodded.

He lifted me from the floor and carried me to the back bedroom we’d been in only moments before.

He set me on my feet, cupping my cheeks. “Baby?” Ben’s voice broke and his eyes were filled with worry. “Please talk to me . . .”

I stood there uselessly sobbing because I’d just ruined my own proposal. Why hadn’t I just said yes and then talked to him later in private? I’d taken what should have been a beautiful moment and turned it into drama. We had a roomful of people down the hall probably wondering what in the world was going on, and I had a wounded and hurt man standing in front of me.

“Fuck,” he roared, shutting the door firmly behind us. “I should’ve never planned this elaborate thing in front of your family. I’m sorry, baby. Tell me why you’re crying. Tell me how to fix it.”

I drew a deep gulp of air and wiped the remnants of my ruined mascara from under my eyes, searching for a way to fix this.


Ben

Watching Emmy cry big, soggy tears broke my fucking heart. I wasn’t sure how I’d managed to mess up this proposal, but somehow I had. A sob bubbled up her throat and broke from her lips. I held her, stroked her back, and let her cry. At least she wasn’t pushing me away. I held her and swayed with her in my arms, letting her tears soak my shirt while lightly rubbing her back. It tore me up seeing her like this.

She finally took a sobering breath and stepped back. Her cheeks were wet with tears, her eyes red and swollen.

“Emmy, baby. Talk to me.”

Crossing the room, she sat down on the bed. “I will. I just . . . need a minute.” Her eyes briefly met mine, and what I saw there made my pulse sprint. Fear. Confusion. And uncertainty.

I nodded and waited, unable to do anything else. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she fought to organize her thoughts. I had no idea what had conflicted her so badly, but it was obvious she was struggling.

“Let me get you a glass of cool water.” I stepped into the adjoining bath and filled a glass tumbler with cold tap water, if only for a moment to break the intensity humming between us.

Glancing into the bathroom mirror, the man staring back at me was just as much of a mess. My skin was pale and lifeless. I looked like shit. Fuck, I felt like shit without Emmy. I didn’t think she ever understood how badly I needed her. I inhaled deeply, knowing that I’d need to search inside myself to find the right words to get through to her.

Moments later, I returned to her side with the glass of water and a box of tissues. She accepted each and after wiping her cheeks and blowing her nose, she took a sip of the water then handed the glass back to me.

“Thank you. Sit down,” she instructed me, now slightly more composed. She patted the bed and I lowered myself down beside her.

“You know I’d never intentionally hurt you. You know that, right?”

She nodded slowly.

“I want us to work. I’ve cut Fiona from my life, I thought severing that tie was all we needed to finally move forward as just us. I never thought that a video I recorded two years ago would come between us.”

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth, so quiet and unsure.

“Tell me why you’re crying,” I coaxed, unsure if I could take her hand. I clenched my fists at my sides instead.