Annie hesitated to take off her shirt, then realized she was being foolish. Hollis, as if knowing undressing in front of her would make Annie uncomfortable, turned away to give her privacy. Hollis always seem to know what she needed. Annie quickly changed into the fresh scrubs and hung her clothes next to Hollis’s in the locker, a strangely intimate thing. “All set.”

“I don’t expect any problems,” Hollis said as they walked through the silent corridor to the OR, “but should there be a complication, the nurses will ask the husband to leave the room. You can stay if you feel that you want to.”

“All right. I appreciate you doing this.”

Hollis cut her a sharp glance. “Annie, she’s your patient too. Besides, the more all of us know about every aspect of our treatments, the better we’re going to be able to take care of our patients together.”

Annie smiled. “I think you’ve mellowed.”

Hollis laughed and some of the shadows disappeared from her eyes. “If I have, it’s your fault.”

“I’m not going to apologize for that,” Annie said, thinking of all the things she did want to apologize for. When she’d realized Kathy was going to need to deliver in the hospital, the only person she’d thought of was Hollis. She’d thought of Hollis every day since the last time she’d seen her. She’d wanted to call her, every single day, and in the last few days she’d gotten as far as scrolling to Hollis’s number. The only thing that kept her from completing the call was the fear of discovering she’d lost her chance to have what she hadn’t realized she’d wanted. She wanted more than friendship, and she wanted Hollis.

Hollis stopped in front of a line of stainless steel sinks with high curved faucets operated by foot pedals. “I’m going to scrub while they get her prepped. The nurses will show you where to stand.”

“Thanks.”

A nurse came out, nodded to Annie, and said to Hollis, “We’re ready, Hollis.”

“Be right there. Nora, this is Annie. She’s a midwife. Can you show her where to go?”

“Sure. Come on in with me.”

Annie took her place by Kathy’s right shoulder while the nurses prepped her abdomen with Betadine and draped everything with sterile sheets and towels. They stretched a drape across Kathy’s chest and attached it to IV poles, creating a barrier between the nonsterile and sterile areas. Past the sheet, the mound of Kathy’s belly was highlighted by the brilliant OR lights. Kathy was sedated, but aware. Her pupils were large, her expression lax. Frank stood on the opposite side of the narrow OR table, his hand on Kathy’s shoulder. His eyes above the surgical mask were calm. Annie smiled at him, even though she knew he couldn’t see most of her face. His eyes smiled back.

Hollis came through the swinging door, her hands held up in front of her. One of the nurses walked to her with an open gown, and Hollis slid her arms through the sleeves. The nurse helped her into gloves, and Hollis stepped up to the table.

“Ready, Andrea?” Hollis said.

“Go ahead.” The anesthesiologist bent down and murmured to Kathy. “We’re going to get your beautiful baby now.”

“Okay,” Kathy said slowly. “Sooner the better.”

Annie couldn’t take her eyes off Hollis. She didn’t need to see Hollis’s face to know she was completely focused on what she was doing. Her eyes above her mask were intense and strong. When she held out her left hand, the nurse slapped a scalpel into it without being asked and passed Hollis a snowy surgical sponge. Hollis made the incision and a bright, thin scarlet line blossomed on the mound of Kathy’s abdomen. Annie held her breath as everything surged into kaleidoscopic motion—Hollis’s fingers flowing over the incision, gleaming clamps passed from hand to hand, brilliant colors blooming. Tissues parted and the deep maroon uterus, lush with blood, rose into the wound bearing its astonishing contents.

“Get the suction ready,” Hollis said.

The neonatologist, who had come into the room five minutes earlier, moved closer. Hollis made a small incision in the uterus and the nurse handed her a large pair of scissors. The cut was rapid, and a gush of golden fluid flowed out of the uterus. Hollis slid her hand inside. A head appeared in the palm of Hollis’s hand, then shoulders, and then the entire body slid out into her waiting hands, the cord a white-blue coil as thick as Annie’s thumb still tethering the baby to her mother. Hollis cradled the baby in her hands while the nurse suctioned her mouth. The tiny chest expanded. The baby’s blue color blushed pink and she emitted a sharp cry of protest. Hollis laughed, a deep sound of pure pleasure, and Annie’s heart swelled.

Hollis rapidly clamped the cord and passed the baby to the waiting neonatologist. He quickly wrapped the baby in a sterile towel and moved to the head of the table.

“Here’s your daughter,” he said, holding her up so Kathy and Frank could see her.

Annie gazed at the baby and then at Hollis, who looked directly at her with a question in her eyes.

“She’s beautiful,” Annie said.

“Yes,” Hollis said, still holding Annie’s gaze.

Annie’s breath stopped and didn’t resume until Hollis turned back to the incision. She had been in Kathy’s place once, and how lucky she had been to have Hollis caring for her. Hollis, whose heart—generous and unwavering—matched her skill. How could she ever have doubted her? God, how could she ever have let her go?

After Hollis finished the surgery, Annie followed her out into the hall. “That was amazing. They’re both doing so well.”

Hollis stripped off her mask. “It was a good call on your part. I don’t think that baby would have come out without trouble otherwise.”

“Thanks. I liked watching you work.”

Hollis blushed. “Likewise.”

“Well.” Annie, suddenly at a loss for words, took a breath. “I’m glad I could see that. I’m glad I could see the baby.” She laughed. “It wasn’t hard to imagine that Callie looked like that.”

“She did, only like I said, more hair.” Hollis laughed.

Annie plunged on, heedless of the risk. She was more afraid of what she’d lose if she didn’t try. “I’m glad you were there back then—not just because you took such good care of us, Hollis, but because you were the one to see her first.”

Hollis swallowed. “I have to check Kathy in the recovery room.”

Too late. She was too late. Annie’s vision blurred and she turned away. There, at the end of the hall—an exit sign. “Of course. I can find my way out.”

“No! Annie wait.” Hollis grasped Annie’s forearm, turned her. “I mean, if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes, I’ll drive you home. You can wait in the lounge.”

Hollis’s eyes held uncharacteristic uncertainty.

“I’ll wait,” Annie said softly. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait.”

Chapter Twenty-eight

Hollis pulled to the curb in front of Annie’s house, but she didn’t turn off the engine. She gripped the wheel and stared straight ahead. Annie waited for Hollis to say something and, after a moment, realized it was her turn to take a chance. Hollis had been the one to drop her shields and reach out at every step, and now she was hurting.

“Remember I told you I was a coward?” Annie said.

Hollis glanced at her, still gripping the wheel. At close to three a.m., the only light in the car was a slanting sliver of moonlight. Annie couldn’t see Hollis’s eyes, and they always spoke the truth. Not knowing if Hollis was angry or hurt, or worse, beyond caring, Annie pushed on, trembling at the feeling of vulnerability she’d thought she would never experience again. Perhaps that was the price of happiness—risking the pain.

“I’m still afraid,” Annie said. When Hollis made a low grumble in her throat, Annie pulled her hand from the wheel and held it tightly, hoping Hollis wouldn’t disappear before she said what really mattered. “I am still afraid, and I hope that one day I won’t be. But what I’m afraid of now isn’t what has made me shut away parts of myself since before Callie was born.”

“Annie,” Hollis murmured, her voice tender. “You don’t need to—”

“I do.” Annie shook her head. Maybe all was not lost. Not yet. “I need to get this out. I need to say this to you.”

Hollis nodded. “All right.”

“I thought if I made it so I never needed anyone ever again, I would never be helpless again. I would never be lost or deserted or devastated by betrayal.” Annie cradled Hollis’s hand in her lap, needing some small part of Hollis closer, drawing courage from Hollis’s solid presence. “I don’t think I was completely wrong. I don’t think I’ll ever be dependent on anyone again—not the way I was. But needing is not the same as being hopelessly dependent.”

“I wouldn’t abandon you,” Hollis said gruffly. “I can’t promise I won’t hurt you by mistake, but never intentionally. I swear that.”

“I know that. I do. I’ve always known that, I just didn’t trust myself to be strong enough not to lose myself.” Annie laughed shakily. “And I didn’t realize how crazy falling in love was going to make me.”

“Is that what you did?” Hollis murmured. She shut off the ignition and slid her arm around Annie’s shoulder, tugging Annie closer until Annie’s breast pressed to Hollis’s side. “Is it, Annie?”

Annie braced her palm in the center of Hollis’s chest, leaning on her, steadying herself, connecting them. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’ve done.” Annie kissed her, slowly, softly, and finally drew back just enough to whisper, “I love you. I love you so very much.”

Hollis shuddered and closed her eyes. The arm around Annie’s shoulders quivered. “If I let you in,” Hollis said, her voice a hoarse groan, “I’ll need you more than you could know.”

Annie stroked Hollis’s face. “Then we’ll be even, won’t we? Because I’ll need you too. So much. And trust you, Hollis. I’ll trust you every day for the rest of my life.”

Hollis framed Annie’s face, her surgeon’s hands strong and sure. Hollis kissed her, tenderly at first, then harder and deeper. A possessive kiss, one that took Annie beyond fear to joy. Annie fisted her hands in Hollis’s shirt and kissed Hollis just as fiercely as Hollis did her, devouring her mouth with a hunger she hadn’t known she harbored. When the coiling tension in her belly grew so huge she couldn’t breathe, she broke away.

“Will you come inside?” Annie gasped. “Will you come inside and be with me?”

“Where’s Callie?”

“With Suzanne. They don’t expect me to come for her until the morning.” Annie shivered, desire a living beast inside her. “Please, Hollis. I need you.”

I need you. The words sliced through Hollis, severing her from the pain that anchored her to the past, freeing her to risk living. “Yes. Yes, Annie.”

Hollis met Annie on the sidewalk and grasped her hand, threading their fingers together. She followed Annie up the sidewalk and across the porch, her heart thundering, her blood roaring. Annie fumbled her keys and almost dropped them at the door. Hollis cradled Annie’s wrist, one arm around her waist, unwilling to break their connection. “It’s okay, we’ve got plenty of time.”

“No we don’t.” Annie’s voice shook. “If we don’t get inside where you can touch me in the next thirty seconds, I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.”

Hollis laughed, wild exhilaration racing through her. “I only need ten seconds.”

“Maybe,” Annie muttered. “But I want more.”

Hollis kissed her neck. “Anything you want.”

When Annie got the door open, Hollis followed her in, slammed the door, and braced her back against it. She dragged Annie into her arms. “I love the way you fit.”

“Me too.” Annie’s arms came around her neck, their legs entwined, their mouths met.

Hollis cupped Annie’s ass and guided Annie against her thigh, sliding her tongue deep inside her mouth, aching to be inside her everywhere. Annie jerked the tail of Hollis’s shirt out of her jeans and slid her hand onto Hollis’s belly. The first touch of flesh on flesh had Hollis’s head slamming back against the door.

“Christ,” Hollis groaned. “I need you.”

“Yes.” Annie grabbed Hollis’s hands and pulled her across the living room toward a hallway leading past the kitchen. Hollis stumbled after her, the triumphant light in Annie’s eyes guiding her. At the bedroom threshold Annie released her hands, backed a few steps away, and grasped the bottom of her shirt. Watching Hollis, Annie pulled her shirt off over her head and dropped it. Hollis stumbled to a halt, paralyzed by the unexpected beauty of Annie, naked in a shaft of silvery light. Her mouth went dry, her legs shook, and every thought except one fled her mind. Annie. She didn’t take her eyes off Annie as she shed her own shirt and pushed her jeans down, needing to get out of her clothes so she could feel Annie against her everywhere.