*

Annie left her car in the parking lot at PMC and walked, no particular destination in mind. She’d already canceled her clinic appointments for the morning, expecting to be tied up at least part of the day in the meeting. Now she was at loose ends and too agitated to work. She’d thought she was prepared to see Hollis Monroe again, knowing it was inevitable. She’d thought she’d put the anger and frustration and fear behind her a long time ago. Callie was the best thing in her life, and she didn’t regret having her for one single second. She wished with all her heart the delivery had been different—that she could have experienced what so many of her patients experienced—a joyous, miraculous birth surrounded by loved ones in a safe environment, with only wonderful memories to cherish for a lifetime when it was all over. She wished she could have watched the face of the person she loved when Callie emerged and felt her child’s first tentative movements on her breast. But instead of holding Callie in her arms and taking her daughter to her breast seconds after she drew her first breath, she had no memories at all—only of awakening to confusion and pain and a terrifying emptiness where Callie had once been. She would never have the chance to experience the complete cycle of birth, and part of her wept at the loss.

But she had Callie, and Callie was all the miracle she’d ever need. She hadn’t realized how much anger she had buried. She sighed and turned into the park a few blocks from her house. She hadn’t had much time to explore the neighborhood, but she and Callie often came here after school to talk about Callie’s day and enjoy the spring weather. Late morning, the park was nearly deserted, and she found a bench under a big maple. She so rarely had any time to just be. Between her busy practice and her busy little girl, she didn’t have much time to be quiet.

As soon as she sat, she was back in Hollis Monroe’s office, railing at her. She replayed the conversation in Hollis’s office and heard herself saying things out loud she hadn’t even allowed herself to think. She’d taken Callie home from the hospital alone and raised her alone while finishing school with distance courses, and then she’d gone to work helping other women experience what she hadn’t. She’d thought she’d put the past behind her, but today she’d totally lost control. Seeing Hollis had triggered all the memories of that terrifying day, and thinking about it now, a lot of her anger had been toward Jeff. She’d never had any place to put that either. Maybe she hadn’t been entirely fair this morning. She’d unloaded on Hollis, and Hollis had let her.

She was still too close to her feelings to even know if she regretted what she’d said. No, that wasn’t right. She’d said what she truly felt, but maybe if she hadn’t been taken by surprise, she might have kept some of it to herself. Hollis had been a lot more rational—and sensitive—than she had been, and that embarrassed her. She didn’t let her emotions run away with her, and with this particular person, she really didn’t want to appear as if she were unable to handle her emotions. Not that she was going to see her again.

Personal things aside, she’d been right about one thing. Professionally, she and Hollis were at opposite ends of the universe, and there was no possible way they could work together.

*

Hollis changed into jeans and a dark blue button-down collar shirt, shed her OR clogs for an old pair of plain brown loafers she couldn’t part with, and signed out for the day. She’d underestimated the speed of Mary’s labor—it wasn’t quite noon and Mary was securely tucked away on Maternity with baby Thomas in her arms and her husband giddily taking videos. She should have felt completely satisfied, but the meeting with Annie still haunted her. She didn’t second-guess her decisions if things didn’t go as planned, but she always reviewed the facts to see what she might have done differently when a case didn’t turn out well. She wasn’t too proud to learn from her mistakes—if she ever discovered otherwise, she’d have to seriously rethink what she was doing. She remembered Annie’s angry question—What would have happened if you’d waited another ten minutes? Maybe there was a way to give Annie an answer she’d believe. Hollis paused in the hall outside Labor and Delivery and called her office.

“Obstetrics and Gynecology, Dr. Monroe’s office, how may I help you?” Sybil said.

“Do me a favor, would you—pull a patient chart from four years ago. The name is Colfax, Annie.”

“I certainly will,” Sybil said without hesitation and without questions. She’d be curious, but she was too professional to pry. She’d wait for Hollis to fill her in, when and if the need arose. “I take it everything went well?”

“Seven pounds, six ounces, Apgar 9 and 10. Mother doing great. Father too.”

Sybil laughed. “Then that’s an A-plus job. Now you go on home and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks. I’m off call, but if something comes up—”

“Then you’re still off call. Go. Do something fun.”

Hollis thought about her plans for the day. For some reason, the solitary pursuits didn’t seem as appealing any longer. “Working on it. See you tomorrow.”

“Have a good one.”

Hollis pocketed her phone and took the stairs down to the ground floor. She always walked out through the ER, stopping to check the whiteboard just to be sure nothing was coming in for her. She was as superstitious as any surgeon, but this wasn’t superstition. She knew for sure if she didn’t check, she’d be ten minutes away when she got the page telling her one of her patients had shown up and she was needed back in the ER. The board looked clear. No OB cases at all.

“Trolling for business now, Dr. Monroe?” Linda called.

“Not so you’d notice. Got any for me?”

Linda laughed and patted her belly. “Not just yet, and I have to say—hopefully not at all.”

“Are you working down here now?”

“Just visiting this morning, but I’ll probably be here before too long.”

Hollis tried to think who was doing Linda’s prenatal care, but drew a blank. Usually, the hospital staff opted for an in-house OB, but sometimes for privacy reasons they went elsewhere. “Well, I’m sure you won’t see me until I stop by to see the new baby.”

“You’ve got an open invitation. You know where I live.”

Hollis paused. “Sorry?”

“Oh,” Linda said softly, coloring faintly. “No reason you should know. I’m having this one at home.”

“Are you?” Hollis’s chest tightened. Linda looked to be in her late thirties—not unusual any longer, but still, complications were more likely. “This your first?”

“Yes, lucky me, my partner took care of the first three.”

Hollis laughed. “I hope you both have a great time with this one.”

“Me too. Our midwife is terrific.”

Of course they’d have a midwife. She just couldn’t get away from it today. Hollis injected enthusiasm into her voice. “Home birth is really taking off.”

“Well, I know it’s not for everyone, and to each her own for sure. But I hope it works out because we’re really looking forward to this.”

“I can imagine.”

“You look like you’re on your way out. Better get going before something comes through the door.”

“You’re right about that.” Laughing, Hollis headed for the exit.

She cut through the ER parking lot, planning to cross through the park that stretched for four square blocks between the hospital and her house. As she skirted around parked ambulances and fire rescue vans, she saw Annie Colfax headed toward her. She stopped when Annie’s eyes widened in surprise. “Good morning again.”

“Oh,” Annie said, almost not recognizing Hollis in street clothes. Hollis looked even younger with the sun gleaming on her dark hair, lanky and lean in worn denim jeans and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Incongruously, her forearms were deeply tanned, as if she spent a lot of time outside in the sun. Running, she bet. Maybe not, though. Hollis had a lot more upper-body development than most runners she knew. And she was staring, wasn’t she. Could she get any more off balance around this woman? “I was just coming back to pick up my car. It’s around the corner. Visitors’ lot.”

Hollis frowned. “You left it here?”

“I wanted to walk.”

“Huh.” Hollis slid her hands into her pockets. “When I’m out of sorts, I like to pound on something.” Annie looked wary and Hollis added quickly, “Wood. Hammer and nails?”

Annie laughed. “Odd pastime for a surgeon. Aren’t you worried about your hands?”

“Not really. I’m careful. I’ve jammed my thumb a time or two, but you can’t sit around doing nothing because something might go wrong, right?”

“Are you saying that caution isn’t in your vocabulary?” Annie asked, an unexpected teasing note in her voice.

Hollis shook her head. “I’m not saying anything. I don’t want to get in any deeper.”

Annie flushed. “About this morning…I—”

“Why don’t we start this morning over again,” Hollis said. Something about Annie had changed. She was still cautious, still reserved and a little edgy, but there was warmth in her eyes and it wasn’t the hot hard fire of anger she’d had earlier. Not exactly welcoming, but maybe an olive branch. Her plans to pull up the porch suddenly lost all appeal, but something told her she’d have to move fast before Annie’s guard went up again. “Look, I don’t live very far away. I haven’t had breakfast…” She glanced at her watch. “Well, it’s lunchtime now, but I can rustle up something and we can start our meeting over again.”

“That seems like a lot of trouble,” Annie said, desperately trying to work through her surprise. She didn’t know how to handle a friendly Hollis, not on a personal level. She couldn’t really have lunch with her, could she? Well, she could, but certainly not at her house. “Maybe we can find a diner or something? Or there’s always the hospital cafeteria.”

Hollis shook her head. “No way. I just spent thirty-six hours in there. And hospital food isn’t great even in the best of circumstances. Omelets…mushrooms, a little broccoli, cheese? It’s safe, I promise.”

Laughing, Annie nodded, taken by the unexpected charm. Lunch was lunch, right? A business lunch should be safe enough. “All right, Dr. Monroe. Omelets it is.”

Chapter Five

“I’m parked right over there,” Annie said. “Do you want me to drive?”

“My place is only a few blocks away, if you don’t mind walking,” Hollis said. “I could stand a little fresh air and the weather’s perfect.”

“Sure.” Annie fell in beside Hollis as they walked back to the street. Every time she started questioning her decision to join Hollis for lunch, she firmly pushed the doubts from her mind. After all, Barb expected her to work with Hollis on the clinic project, and they hadn’t gotten off to a very good start, mostly because of her. She was a professional and she could keep her personal feelings at home. That didn’t mean they would come to any kind of professional agreement, but they hadn’t even taken the first step. And she wasn’t doing a very good job meeting Hollis halfway. She was usually good at small talk—she had to meet new people all day long, women and families equally ecstatic and terrified by the prospect of a new baby. Why was she practically tongue-tied around Hollis?

“So,” Hollis said, “where did you train?”

Almost sighing with relief, Annie said, “Right here in the city…at Philadelphia College.”

“Nursing school?”

Annie shook her head. “I was at Temple for my BSN, but I never actually practiced nursing. I lost some time with Callie…well, anyhow, I transferred my senior year into the midwife program and they advanced me credit toward my bachelor’s so I could get my degree and accelerate my midwife training.”

“Explains why you’re so young.”

Annie laughed, ridiculously pleased. She thought of herself in two ways—as a mother and a midwife. She rarely thought of herself as a woman others might see as attractive. Of course, Hollis hadn’t said that. She quickly covered her embarrassment with a wave of her hand. “I’m not young. I’m probably your age, and…Oh God, I didn’t mean to suggest you’re old—”

“Thirty-three in a few weeks,” Hollis offered, laughing. Annie hadn’t actually asked her age, but for some reason, she liked getting to know her, even if it did mean sharing things she ordinarily wouldn’t. She liked learning about Annie, and that was as good an explanation as any she could come up with for why she wasn’t behaving at all like herself. “So?”

“What? Oh! Twenty-eight.” Why she wasn’t able to carry on a simple conversation escaped her. Even Callie was better at it.